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Wednesday, December 31, 2003

They Know Where You Live

So I got back from a quick trip home and my cupboard was bare so I go down to the store to pick up some supplies. The self-proclaimed "Mayor" of my street, a local character who seems to have popped out of a '70s sitcom catches me getting out of my car and offers to help carry the groceries into my apartment. Very neighborly of him even if he still was expecting a few bucks in return, especially considering how hard it is to carry a bag of potatoes when your hands are full.

I give him the money, close the door and start bringing the stuff inside when he yells to me from outside. I open the door and he explains that someone from Underwood (the school where I teach) is outside and recognized me.

Two thoughts went through my mind at that point:

1. Who was it? Was it one of my freshmen? What if it was one of the misbehaved, mischeivous, disrespectful ones? Was it one of my seniors? Maybe it was someone nice...I do have a few darn good students! I'll admit that at this point I was dreading the former option though.

2. CRAP! This is in fact a paraphrase of a far more profane set of comments. You see, I've taken pains not to let my students know where I live. I just give all sorts of generic answers to their questions and hope that they'll move on. This chance discovery could undermine that entirely. Especially if he was in my class.


So, one deep breath later, I open the door, and discover it's no one I know... (Phew!) But, he tells me he recognizes me. So...where do I stand now? I count myself fortunate it's not one of my students...but as soon as the door of my apartment is closed, I start cursing. (I wonder if they heard me outside...not particularly likely.) I'm not sure why I was so frustrated...is it really so bad if my students know where I live?

Honestly for the majority of them, I doubt it would make a difference, but I think part of it is that there are a minority of students who might try to pull a prank or even wish me harm and I really would strongly prefer they not know where I live.

I hope that makes sense.

More on the past weekend shortly.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

An old holiday tradition
Following hot on the heels of my ROTK post, it's the return of a classic holiday tradition from my youth. When I worked as a bookseller in high school, one of my managers always used to circulate a list of movie quotes among the staff. He offered a prize for the person who correctly identified the source films. As we worked retail during this most exhausting of seasons, we would occupy our time trying to figure out who thought "k-k-k-ken was going to k-k-k-kill" him or what those "five little things of a common sort" could all be found in a tennis court. It kept us slightly more sane.

Now that I've been teaching for a little while, I thought that burst of sanity would be calmly refreshing, not just to me, but to others. And so, I present my own (hastily composed) movie quote contest. 50 quotes. 50 movies. Identify as many cinematic sources as you can to win! It's fun!

Ready? Ok...here we go:


Identify the source of these quotes

1. “On my signal...unleash Hell!”

2. “And look there is no pain...no pain...no pain...no pain...”

3. “Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Switzerland...he was thrown out of a lot of schools.”

4. “I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you came home.”

5. “True love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is lean and the tomato is ripe...they’re so perky. I love that!”

6. “I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid... and I went ahead anyway.”

7. “This deal just keeps getting worse all the time.”

8. “What do you want, Mary? Do you want the moon? If you want it, I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for you. Hey! That's a pretty good idea! I'll give you the moon, Mary.”

9. “Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.”

10. “Now...where was I?”

11. “This must be the place where they empty all the old hourglasses.”

12. “I'm telling you this guy is protected from up on high by the Prince of Darkness.”

13. “I'm not hurt at all. Didn't you know? They can only kill me with a golden bullet.”

14. “It's MY HEAD, Schwartz. It's MY head!”

15. “Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.”

16. “No such thing a bad student, only bad teacher. Teacher say, student do.”

17. “I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn.”

18. “You Americans are all the same...always overdressing for the wrong occasions.”

19. “How do you know he didn’t invent it?”

20. “I’m tellin’ you Animal, these Nazis ain’t kosher.”

21. “He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit.”

22. “You know, I've met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal! Only a Carpathian would come back to life now and choose New York!”

23. “She was beautiful! She was young! She was innocent! She was the greatest piece of ass I've ever had, and I've had 'em all over the world!”

24. “Geology is the study of pressure and time. That’s all it takes really... pressure... and time... That, and a big goddamn poster.”

25. “We are number 1...all others are number 2 or lower!”

26. “Hey...wha' happened?”

27. “That's the next strange thing. I mean, I can't just call him up. Instead, he contacts me every day through a bird.

28. “Shop smart...shop S-Mart!”

29. “That's a very expensive glass of Chardonnay you're NOT drinking there. It isn't poisoned.”

30. “Cubs win World Series against Miami?!?”

31. “Somebody's coming up. Somebodyserious.”

32. “I love you, Pumpkin.”
“I love you, Honey Bunny.”

33. “I'm a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk.”

34. “You guys give up yet? Or are you thirsty for more?”

35. “Nobody throws me my own guns and says run. Nobody."

36. “You and I are such similar creatures Vivian. We both screw people for money.”

37. “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”

38. “In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”

39. “I have the motive which is money and the body which is dead!”

40. “We were like peas and carrots, Jenny and I.”

41. “I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps!”
“He was drafted.”

42. “Be careful what you look for Taylor, you may not like what you find.”

43. “You wanna know how you do it? Here's how, they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send on of his to the morgue! That's the Chicago way.”

44. “We will now read from the gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke...and DUCK!!!”

45. “You are a sad, strange, little man. You have my pity. Farewell.”

46. “We are all victims of causality. I drank too much wine, I must take a piss. Cause and effect.”

47. “Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.”

48. “By the authority vested in me by Kaiser William II, I pronounce you husband and wife. Proceed with the execution.”

49. “Pearl Harbor?!? Who’s she?”

50. “Well...there it is.”

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Some Return of the King Related Musings

NERD ALERT!
NERD ALERT!
If you are not pro-Tolkien and/or don't care to hear about specific plot/story details from recently released blockbusters filmed in New Zealand, just back away from this post slowly, as I present...

10 long overdue thoughts on Return of the King:

1. First impressions: A strong capstone to the trilogy with as many strong moments as the other two put together. Still not certain whether I prefer the slightly darker and less resolved tone of TTT more or not. I suppose if I ever get the chance to watch them both in close succession, preferably with extended footage, I'll be able to make a better choice. Right now, I'm more inclined towards the latter based on my love of the Helm's Deep sequence and the Smeagol-Gollum dialogue in TTT.

2. Just to be clear though, anything with Gollum in this film...and I mean anything, from the beginning sequence (now with extra Deagol!) to the reflection sequence to the final struggles for the ring were handled masterfully. My friend in Building 66 (see links to right) suggests that the Andy Serkis was included in the opening merely to ensure his place on the Oscar nomination list for Best Supporting Actor. That may be true, but honestly, he deserves it regardless. Brilliant work!

3. The Paths/Army of the Dead was remarkably well integrated into the film. That part of the book always confused me. ("Where did all these dead folk come from?" I'd wonder. "And how did Aragorn get them to fight for his side? And what can a bunch of ghosts do to the minions of Sauron anyway?") Now I know. And knowing is half the battle. The other half is apparently employing some pretty freaky neon green wraiths to consume your enemies' souls!

4. Did anyone else think that the dialogue between Gandalf and Aragorn at the beginning of the film would have made more sense if Aragorn were the one doubting Frodo's survival and Gandalf was the mentor figure reassuring him, and not the other way around? I mean I can see how Gandalf, being reborn and all, might be somewhat confused or uncertain...but he's Gandalf! Compare Gandalf here to the Gandalf talking with Pippin about death later in the film. Very different tones!

5. Denethor...ah Denethor. Where to begin? As my Botticelli playing friends from college might recall, I've always held a little spot in my heart for everyone's favorite deranged Steward of Gondor. And while his pretension, insanity, and intensity were all spot on target, I have to confess this little piece of the film fell flat for me. Why? No motivation. Specifically, Denethor's poor judgment was heavily influenced, in the books at least, by the influence of Sauron through the use of a palantir. Yes, a palantir...that swirly magic 8 ball thing that Pippin was stupid enough to play with earlier in the film. From where I sit, it seems to me that Tolkien put that incident in for a reason, to explain the madness of Denethor. Do we get that here? Not as such, although it may be in the extended footage, so who knows. Denethor's character and motivation still suffered somewhat, but he still managed to contribute delightful slurping sounds during my favorite sequence of the whole film: Pippin's song. (Watch it and you'll understand what I mean...)

6. Another palantir related puzzle: When will hobbits learn not to play with shiny objects? Every time they do, you know that something bad is going to happen. "Pippin...stop staring at the magic orb. Stop it. Stop..." *ZAP* "damnit...

7. Shelob: Wow. My fear with Shelob was not that she would not look like a giant spider while standing still or posing for the cameras. WETA's too damn good to slip up on stuff like that. In the back of my head though, I was afraid that the fight between Shelob and Sam would come off more reminiscent of the giant monster movies of the 1950s. Or in a more modern, yet still flawed example, like the bugs in Starship Troopers. Neither was the case. Quick, threatening, deadly: what more could one want from a freaky giant spider?

8. The destruction of the One Ring was done perfectly. Elijah Wood's normally pained eyes turned evil just at the right time and Gollum's disappearance/reappearance at the exact right moment was handled effectively. And the finale confirmed what we already knew...that Samwise Gamgee is in many ways the true hero of the story and arguably has some of the strongest moral character of anyone we meet in Middle Earth.

9. The film had my favorite soundtrack, I think, of the trilogy, effectively integrating themes from the first two (Most notably the Rohan, Shire, and Mordor themes) and integrating them neatly with new ones, like my favorite, the Gondor theme that played in the trailers. I should really get my hands on the soundtrack before making any more snap judgments though...

10. And finally, a thought on the ending, or perhaps more accurately, the series of endigns that take place at Minas Tirith, Bag End, etc. (Hold your applause) Honestly, I feel the movie could not have ended more effectively any other way...with one possible exception. The Scouring of the Shire. Thematically, I really like the idea of the hobbits, having returned from teh wide world and realized the necessity of their involvement in the greater world, fighting to restore their now corrupted homeland. There's a wonderufl symmetry to it. Plus it would bring back Christopher "I knew Tolkien personally, so I know how to pronounce 'Mordor' damnit!" Lee and Brad "The People's Wacko!" Dourif, two of my favorite actors in the trilogy! Barring that though (and Jackson is apparently on recrod as saying he feels it to be extraneous), the current ending sequence is fine with me. Only gripe was with clueless audience members applauding at the wrong times.

All in all a wonderful cinematic experience, despite someone throwing the alarm right around the storming of the Black Gate. But that's another story.

Ok...now applaud.

Friday, December 19, 2003

A relative bright spot!

As a much welcomed contrast to the rest of the week, today was an exciting and fun-filled day. One that promises to become even moreso as it progresses.

In addition to a standard short Friday for professional development, it was also the annual Underwood Holiday Party! More food than you can shake a stick at. (In a rare moment of culinary violence, I got to impale the Frosty the Snowman shaped cake with the sacred plastic knife.) Far moer entertaining than a typical professional development.

Building on that...tonight is the first night of Channukah. Granted, a historically insignificant holiday, but still a reason for celebration. I'll probably rig up a makeshift menorah using a lot of aluminum foil anyway. Wonder if I can find a grater so I can make latkes!

Even better, I'm going to see Return of the King tonight. Seriously looking forward to it...haven't heard a bad review of it yet!

So...a triple whammy to end an otherwise so-so week!

Not a bad day at all. Maybe there are silver linings!

We'll see how my optimism holds up after I grade my physics tests...

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Some diversions...
Following a relatively stress free day of teaching (despite 5 detentions, still had time to deliver my lessons as planned!), I've decided to followup quickly on the promises in an earlier post.

To wit: You'll now find a few new additions to the Invisible Ben link list. One is a self-described intellectual omnivore, the other is simply an enthusiastic fellow with a predeliction for orange pants.

Also a nomination here for the most surreal animated trailer of the year:
  • The Triplets of Belleville


  • I'm not precisely sure what this movie is about, but any film featuring the zany hijinks of the French mafia (it's even funnier because it's French!) can't be all bad! The animation seems simultaneously cartoonish and ultrarealistic. I can think of only a few movies I really want to see more right now out in theaters. The obvious one is Return of the King, but I likely won't get to that until Friday. (Maybe I'll post a review...)

    (By the way after watching the trailer for Triplets again, a random thought: Anyone else think the barbershop scene is an homage to Chaplin's Great Dictator? Ok, probably not, but still a cool image in a trailer full of cool images.)

    As always...more to come.

    Monday, December 15, 2003

    Just another Monday...

    Napoleon once wrote that the line between the sublime and the ridiculous was a fine one at best, "just a step," I believe were his exact words (albeit in Corsican French rather than English, but the idea's the important thing.)

    Proof positive today with my last period class. A handful of students in there want to learn.

    I try to teach them.

    The rest of them are jerks who talk all the time, harass other students, and make life miserable.

    I try to ignore them and continue teaching.

    Such is the way of things.

    Today, as always I had my students do some review questions based on the previous night's homework. It involves copying a few questions off of the board and writing an answer of approximately a sentence or two in length.

    Originally I would have planned 10 minutes for this exercise, but experience has proven that 20 is necessary if I want to get even a few complete responses. (esp. true with the first period class that shows up on average 10 min. late!)

    Today the jerks were noisy, the good students were getting antsy what with the holiday coming, and after collecting the work and going over them together in front of the class, I was becoming rather fed up. Having worked hard on a lesson plan the night before, I did not take kindly to standing up there, teaching my guts out, and having not one of my students pay attention. The room was filled with noise. Noise, noise, noise...it was an awe-inspiring bit of chaos actually.

    But it had to end.

    So...I did the unthinkable.

    POP QUIZ!

    Take out a piece of paper.
    You have five minutes.
    Write down the answers to the classwork we just finished reviewing.
    The ones that I have repeated three times over your jabbering.
    The ones that maybe half of you heard, and of those only half of you registered.

    Wait...those answers?
    Yes...those answers!

    So I have one particularly troublesome student. Real son of a gun. 4 F's on his report card, all poor behavior grades...couldn't be prouder of it. And he raises his hand and says:

    "You can't do that!"

    No wait...I give him too much credit. No handraising. He just yelled.

    "Oh?" I said.

    "Yeah...you can't do anything that's not in your lesson plan," he responded confidently.

    I stood there for a second in a bit of shock. The kid knew what a lesson plan was! Wow! How'd that happen? No clue. But again, little bit of knowledge that just shed light on how ignorant he was. I chuckled slightly.

    "Yes...I can." I said. "You have 4 minutes."

    That shut him up...for about thirty seconds before he started tlaking about somebody's mother or some rap star or something. Honestly, I confess to tuning out, focusing instead on what was coming next.

    And the time ticked down and I collected my quizzes. Haven't graded them yet, but I'm willing to bet about half of them are rubbish.

    Other than that and the fact that my physics students can't understand friction if I hit them over the head with it...life is going ok. (Yes, that's right...we're not done with dynamics yet. Yay...block scheduling!) Not great. Just ok. Finished a graduate course in methodology this evening with a fun sample lesson on vectors. Got a chance to hang out with some fellow teachers at a nice restaurant downtown last weekend. Vacation is nearly here...wondering if I'll go home.

    But, for now, the reality of work looms large on the horizon. One more grad course ends tomorrow, and there's still a few more days of instruction left to plan and slam through.

    As someone wiser than myself once said, "if I can make it through tomorrow, it'll be all right."

    More posts, another edition of "Good Idea...Bad Idea", and additions to the list of Invisible Links coming soon...

    Keep an eye on this page or you might just miss it!

    (Oh...one last thing...What's New, What's Good got canceled this week in my last period class. They were talking that much. In my first period class it was much the same...only no eagles scores. They play Miami tonight. Go Eagles!)

    Tuesday, December 09, 2003

    Coming up next on Biography:
    So every Monday in my class I do an activity called "New and Good." The idea came from my aunt. Basically it's an attempt to foster classroom community and show that people, most notably their teacher, cares about their lives beyond the school. The rules are pretty simple...everyone has a chance to say something new or good that happened during their weekend. Nothing X-rated allowed, no side conversations allowed, and if you don't have anything to say you can pass. Generally the thing devolves rather quickly with people constantly chattering and only a few students even trying to say something new or good. Much of the time the only thing students have is football scores.

    So:
    Yesterday, I decide that I'm going to clear up the obvious response. I said that what was new with me was that the Eagles beat the Cowboys and that the game was fun to watch. (Honestly, I only watched part of the game because what was really new was the flat tire I got thanks to a combination of unfamiliar roads and slippery ice.)
    Unfortunately, this proved ineffective: the ONLY comments other than mine centered around the Eagles.

    When I commented on this, noting that I was surprised no one had gone out to play in the snow, one of my students (normally one of the brighter ones) explained to me how stupid that was. No one goes out to play in the snow, he said. And then he said something really amusing:

    "You didn't go outside to play in the snow when you were our age."

    Excuse me...HUH? Even if I didn't (which was not the case...I was generally pro-snow in high school, much more than now) how would he know? I wish I could say that such arrogance was surprising, but it wasn't.

    "Ok," I eventually responded. "Since you know better about my childhood than I do, you win. You're right. Whatever."

    And I tried to move on from there to teach about mixtures...to limited effect.

    With minor things like this, it's no big deal, but that same arrogance wrapped in stupidity unfortunately characterizes a lot of my students. They all think they know better and they all think they can just get by with blind guessing and supposition. A bad combination in a science classroom.

    I wish I could say I could see progress, but so far, not so much. Perhaps that perception on my part contributes to the problem, but I don't see a managable way to get around that barrier.

    Thursday, December 04, 2003

    Good idea...Bad idea.

    And now it's time for Good Idea...Bad Idea. :

    Good idea: Giving my students the chance to build molecules with toothpicks and gumdrops.

    Bad idea: Giving my students access to small objects they can use as projectiles.

    Good idea: Giving my students a poster project.

    Bad idea: Asking them to actually take notes showing where they got their information. This idea is so anathema to them that I figure about 75% just won't do it.

    Good idea: Allowing my students in physics class to go to the bathroom using a bathroom pass rather than interrupting the instruction.

    Bad idea: Inadvertently permitting abuse of the system as seniors tend to make covert trips to the counselor's office during my class. Even after dealing with this, one girl had the gall yesterday to just walk out of my class with the pass for most of a class?
    Actual exchange: Me: Where were you?
    Student: Upstairs.
    Me: For an hour?
    Student: Yep. (walks out)

    Good idea: Teaching science to seniors.
    Bad idea: The school's letting them know that they don't need to pass my class to graduate.


    Well that's it for now...Tune in again for another edition of Good Idea...Bad Idea!

    Wednesday, December 03, 2003

    Time's not on my side
    An abridged, but relatively accurate account of my activities yesterday:

    First alarm went off: 5:25 AM
    Second alarm went off: 5:28 AM
    Third alarm went off: 5:30 AM
    Showering: 5:32-5:50 AM
    Breakfast prep.: 5:50-6:00 AM
    Eating, e-mail check, cleanup, dressing: 6:00-6:30 AM
    Out the door: 6:32 AM
    Time Ben arrived at school yesterday (sign in): 6:50 AM
    Time school day starts: 8:00 AM
    Time school day ends: 3:04 PM
    Report Card Night Starts: 5:00 PM
    Report Card Night End Time (scheduled): 7:00 PM
    Report Card Night End Time (reality): 7:45 PM
    Time Ben left school yesterday: 8:15 PM
    Time Ben arrived home yesterday: 9:15 PM
    Time Ben finished making material for freshman class: 11:00 PM
    Time Ben finished making half of the materials needed for physics class: 12:00 PM
    Dinner (e-z mac and hotdogs): 12:00-12:30
    Bed: 12:30 AM
    Wakeup this morning: 5:30 AM

    And the vicious cycle continues...

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