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Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Decade Reviewed

Click below to see a larger version of my memories of the previous decade.
These are examples of news events, life-changing professional events, or cultural products (books, movies, etc.) that shaped my life during the years in question.
Maybe I'll try to do something similar in 2020. If so, I'll post it here, assuming there are still blogs in the future.



















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Saturday, December 26, 2009

Holmes for the Holidays [TM]

Yesterday I hiked down to my local cineplex to enjoy my traditional holiday matinee. The film of choice was Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes. As a long time fan of Doyle's detective fiction, the trailers had left a decidedly sour taste in my mouth with their tendency to emphasize Holmes as man of action (and Michael Bay style explosions) rather than the more cerebral hero from the original stories. That, along with the overly blatant romance between the traditionally asexual Sherlock and his occasional nemesis Irene Adler, left me uncertain whether or not I should even see the film in the first place.

But, I promised some colleagues that I wouldn't see Avatar (the other film under consideration) until after the New Year, and so it was, to steal an advertising slogan, Holmes for the holidays. (Hence the [TM] in this post's title.) It was, simultaneously, exactly what I expected and yet much more enjoyable than I anticipated. Granted, this was not Doyle's Holmes. But it was still a fun piece of popcorn entertainment. I particularly appreciated occasional shout-outs, in the form of quotations and references, to the original canon, even if it made its fair share of mistakes in the process.

For example:
1. Mycroft was mentioned, but the idea of him maintaining an estate in the countryside for social functions is unlikely given his reclusive nature as discussed in "The Greek Interpreter." Unless of course, he owns it but not for his own personal use.
2. A prominent scene early in the film shows Holmes deducing what he can about Watson's fiancee, Mary Morstan. But Holmes and Watson met Ms. Morstan during The Sign of the Four investigation. Her backstory should be known to both.
3. Without revealing too much about the movie's ending, I will merely state that a certain expert on the dynamics of an asteroid is introduced prior to Watson's initial discovery of the fact in the original text. (And I won't even get into the history of technology problems associated with his appearance...)

But: If you turned off your brain and just watched the movie, it was a lot of fun. Downey and Law are excellent as Holmes and Watson respectively, acting circles around their female costars. The use of internal monologues as Holmes incapacitates opponents in his various pugilistic endeavors is an effective narrative device and the special effects were on the whole well-handled. All in all, I imagine that this will likely earn itself a sequel in a few years, assuming that people are still interested in watching the Great Detective at work.

Perhaps I'll go see that on some future Christmas, just prior to getting my requisite order of Chinese food.

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Monday, December 21, 2009

Dissertations Don't Take Snow Days

Proving yet again that historians make the worst prognosticators, the school district is closed today. I suppose that even with all of Sunday to clean up the roads, the second largest snowstorm in local history (since recordkeeping began in the 1880s) merits some sort of recognition. Granted, it totally destroys the remainder of the school week, since students will hardly be able to focus during the two days leading up to Christmas Eve, but I'm sure the sheer joy of having a day off will distract most teachers from thinking about such things.

Since the news of the school closure was announced last night, I woke up this morning wondering if my fellowship office would be closed...you know, like the federal government? No such luck. Which is why I am here at 9:15 AM, preparing to read Popular Mechanics articles from the 1950s and 1960s instead of at home. Oh well. Nobody ever claimed graduate school would be glamorous.

To my friends who are teachers, enjoy the day off! And to my fellow grad students...don't let the research drag you down.

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Sunday, December 20, 2009

22.9 Inches of Snow

If I were still teaching high school, I think I would have profoundly mixed emotions today as I survey the powder-covered streets of my fair city this morning. The mayor has declared a snow emergency, but with the exception of a few lingering flurries the wintery onslaught has basically passed, giving road crews the time needed to excavate the major traffic arteries and get things moving again. A nationally televised NFL game is being pushed back three hours to accommodate the weather and fans are being strongly urged to travel to the stadium using public transit. The last time this much accumulation built up here in December was literally a century ago. When I wandered the streets last night, the only regular cars I saw were taxis, slowly trundling along in search of stranded pedestrians, eager to avoid the cold. Such missions of mercy were tempered, perhaps, with the knowledge that passengers would actually accept slower driving and higher fares given conditions on the streets.

I mentioned a moment ago my ambiguity towards this snowfall. Were I a teacher, I would be both impressed and frustrated. Impressed, both at the sheer magnitude of the blizzard, but also the relative calm with which people here seem to have handled it. People just went on as best they could with their holiday shopping. If there was a panic, I did not see any indication on the streets or in the news. I was even able to go watch a movie yesterday (The Fantastic Mr. Fox) after work. The theater was open, albeit a little short-staffed.

The frustration would set in because of timing. Major snowfall on a Saturday is the cruelest cut that Mother Nature can give to a public school teacher. If it had been pushed up to Friday, that might have prompted either a day off or at least an early dismissal. If the storm had started tonight and gone through to early Monday morning, there would be no school. By ending just now, the city has enough time to clear the roads for buses and the students they carry. There will be school on Monday, I have no doubt. Sorry all you teachers out there. Maybe next time.

Of course, even as a non-teacher, I can understand frustration with the idea of going to work on Monday in these conditions. Heck, if I were still living in the Invisible Suburb, I would probably not go to work today. Cleaning off my car plus driving on the highway for 45 minutes (or an hour given traffic) is not really my cup of tea on a Sunday morning. Thankfully, I don't have to make such decisions anymore. I live a block away from my office now. Neither rain, nor wind, nor record-setting snow storm can keep me from my dissertation.

Which is why, I'll be heading over there shortly. Just like I always do. A little later than my normal 9 AM start time, perhaps by about half an hour, but just as constant as ever because dissertations don't take breaks on weekends, even for record-setting snowstorms.

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Holiday Movie Quote Contest VII: Mission to Moscow

Well folks, it's that time of year again. Yes, despite the madness that is my dissertation, I still found time to compile fifty quotations from fifty different movies. See how many you can identify without resorting to the vast stores of knowledge available on the Internet.

Answers will be posted sometime around New Year's.

1. “This has got to be the weirdest day of my life... well, so far.”

2. “Man is born crying. When he has cried enough, he dies.”

3. “First, you've got that bloody old fortress on top of that bloody cliff. Then you've got the bloody cliff overhang. You can't even see the bloody cave, let alone the bloody guns. And anyway, we haven't got a bloody bomb big enough to smash that bloody rock. And that's the bloody truth, sir.”

4. “They say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.”

5. “First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.”

6. “Tom has nightmares. That's not a good thing. Tom has someone to love him. That is a good thing. Tom is crushing me. Tom is crushing me... Tom, you're crushing me!”

7. “Max, find me a frog and a bear in a tan Studebaker.”
Gee, Doc, all I can see is a frog and a bear in a rainbow-colored Studebaker.”

8. “Good Lord - I've heard about this...cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good. Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?”

9. “This is an elegant crime, done by an elegant person. It's not about the money.”
So, who steals a Monet, just to not sell it?”
“A Monet lover.”

10. “Nice shooting, son. What's your name?”
Murphy.”

11. “Listen, I think we got started off on the wrong foot. Stan Goodspeed, FBl. Uh...let's talk music. Do you like the Elton John song, 'Rocket Man'?”

12. “I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh?...And I'm three months older than you are, asshole!”

13. “I'm sorry gentlemen. I...I know I'm being disrespectful to this honorable body, I know that. I- A guy like me should never be allowed to get in here in the first place. I know that! And I hate to stand here and try your patience like this, but either I'm dead right or I'm crazy!”

14. “Vargas does not drink, does not smoke, does not make love. What do you do, Vargas?”

15. “Your small minds are musclebound with suspicion. That's because the only exercise you ever get is jumping to conclusions.”

16. “Short people have long faces, and long people have short faces. Big people have little humor, and little people have no humor at all.”

17. “Now, you take a bobcat or a fox. You know they'll run if you give 'em the chance. But when one don't run, or maybe makes fight at you, why, you shoot him and shoot him quick. After he's bitten you, it's too late.”

18. “Wait for me, Audrey. This is between me and the vegetable!”

19. “So, if the Beers beat Detroit and Denver beats Atlanta in the American Southwestern Division East Northern, then Milwaukee goes to the Denslow Cup, unless Baltimore can upset Buffalo and Charlotte ties Toronto, then Oakland would play LA and Pittsburgh in a blind choice round robin. And if no clear winner emerges from all of this, a two-man sack race will be held on consecutive Sundays until a champion can be crowned.”

20. “When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world, if you step up and tell her where. For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paris, or Washington crossing the Delaware.”

21. “At least we've got it stopped.”
Yeah, as long as the Arctic stays cold.”

22. “You want me to kill THE ENEMIES of Jappos, I'll kill THE ENEMIES of Jappos... Rebs, or Sioux, or Cheyenne... For 500 bucks a month I'll kill whoever you want. But keep one thing in mind: I'd happily kill you for free.”

23. “The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets. Before that, I think you have to go back to the Red Sea.”

24. “Well, I got nowhere else to go, the ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones.”

25. “Tell me, isn't a sheriff supposed to be courageous, loyal and, above all, honest?”
Yeah, that he is.”
“Think you people need a new sheriff.”

26. “I know what you're thinking. 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself.”

27. “Plus six Eiffel Towers. How much did they fetch?”
Twenty-five thousand pounds. Enough to keep me for one year in the style to which I was, ah, unaccustomed.”

28. “A few hours ago, you were giving chai for the phone wallahs. And now you're richer than they will ever be. What a player!”

29. “By the cut of your suit, you went to Oxford or wherever. Naturally you think human beings dress like that. But you wear it with such disdain, my guess is you didn't come from money, and your school friends never let you forget it. Which means that you were at that school by the grace of someone else's charity, hence that chip on your shoulder. And since you’re first thought about me ran to 'orphan,' that's what I'd say you are.”

30. “One more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal.”

31. “Taha, old friend, and very dear brother. Karen, child of light and daughter of Israel, shalom.”

32. “What is best in life?”
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.”

33. “What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved Mozart and Bach, the Beatles, and me?”

34. “Don't you know it's dangerous to climb into a refrigerator? Those things can be deathtraps!”

35. “This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story.”

36. “I worked with Freud in Vienna. We broke over the concept of penis envy. Freud felt that it should be limited to women.”

37. “Oh, excuse me, your honor...two YOUTHS!”

38. “I think it's just elegant to have an imagination. I just have no imagination at all. I have lots of other things, but I have no imagination.”

39. “That's a bingo! Is that the way you say it? 'That's a bingo?'”

40. “That's a shame, being that it's the 4th of July and all. Kids like you should be out having fun. Drinking, partying, running people over, getting away with murder... things like that.”

41. “If you look deep into the stone, you will perceive the tiniest discoloration. It resembles an animal.”

42. “He endured blistering winds and scorching deserts - he climbed the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower - and what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!”

43. “You are one wise Caucasian, Vic.”

44. “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth

45. “I speak over two thousand languages, including Dodo and Unicorn. I had a classical education.”

46. “And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects, called the human race. Lost in time, and lost in space...and meaning.”

47. “An Englishman never jokes about a wager, sir.”

48. “There is no such thing as a bad boy.”

49. “Rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them doggies rollin'...Man my ass is swollen, Rawhide! Get 'em up, move 'em out, wake 'em up, get 'em dressed, get 'em shaved, comb their hair, Rawhide!”

50. “Made it, Ma! Top of the world!”


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Monday, December 14, 2009

Balkans-Bound Ben?

Yesterday, I was hard at work in my office, conveniently located a half block away from my apartment when something unusual happened. No, it wasn't the fire alarm going off. That happened on Saturday, was far more disruptive, and has its own separate story ending with firemen busting down a door and me going nearly deaf from the building's all-too-efficient klaxons.

In comparison, the events of yesterday seem almost tame. Hell, they are tame. And to anyone other than a historian of technology, they would be downright esoteric. So I'll cut to the chase and say that I found a potential research angle which, if properly pursued, could have been my ticket to another exciting European conference, this time in beautiful southeastern Europe.

To be sure this wasn't a mirage, I e-mailed my adviser and started trying to do some preliminary digging using the magic that is the Internet. My adviser responded enthusiastically and suggested a few journals I could peruse for more information. After spending this afternoon poring through several very large volumes concerning the state of Soviet solid state physics during the 1950s and 1960s, however, my enthusiasm has declined somewhat. I have no problem pursuing this project in the long term, but there is a great deal more work to be done.

Given how hectic this week is, what with various holiday parties (and pub quiz!) to consider, I think a trip to the Balkans may not be in the cards this time around. Perhaps next year.


Two other points of new business:
1. The annual holiday movie quote contest will be posted by the end of the week.
2. Rambling Dave has his own blog dedicated to his pursuit of superhuman running abilities. Keep track of his progress on Mile for Mile! (And welcome to the Invisible Blogroll, David!)

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