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Thursday, January 29, 2004

And why are you so happy?

So yesterday (Wednesday) was a miserably icy day. So miserable and so icy in fact that 27 (!) teachers decided to call out absent. What ramifications did that have on daily life at Underwood High School? Well...in addition to a complete lack of teacher coverage and the impossibility of recruiting substitute teachers on short notice, approximately half the student body decided not to show up. Or they assumed the schools were closed. Or both.

In any event, that was why at around 8:00 on Wednesday morning my principal issued an announcement that all teachers were to go to the auditorium. Halfway filled and this the entire school? Yup. For about an hour and a half we sat there (or stood there) and watched as the mob of freshmen stewed through another talk from the principal about standardized test achievement, the dangers of marijuana, and upcoming performance events at the school. And we, the teachers stared on in awe trying to appraise the exact number of absences and wondered if we would have first period.

We didn't.

I only met my new first period class today.

Such is life, I guess.

Anyhow, the new kids bring the old adage to mind: Same manure, different sack.

No one seems as extremely disruptive as in my last semester, but one can never tell this early.

So what's with the title of this blog entry? Why am I happy?

Two words: Diagnostic Friday!
3 great things about diagnostic Friday:

1. No real lesson planning--I just distribute a diagnostic to see how my students are doing.
2. It's a short day--professional development does have its benefits.
3. It's also payday!

Anyhow, more comments on the new guys later...but I thought that I would mention this stuff while I'm in a relatively good mood.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

"That is the sound of ultimate suffering..."

What kind of a world is it where one can hear nothing for 48 hours other than how terrible the weather is going to be, where neighboring school districts close down the night before in anticipation, where principals and administrators warn teachers the day before that school will likely be closed...and then at 5:30 that morning, no closing, no delay, no nothing.

For a storm whose effects will likely linger well beyond those from Monday's little dusting? A damn unfair kind of world, that's what!

In case you can't tell I'm feeling rather depressed these days. I have met my students, and though none of them seems individually as bad as my worst students from last semester...they still somehow have the capacity to tear me down. Or perhaps better said, wear at my reserve of patience. What little optimism I had is gradually disappearing in the face of an opposition that seems never ending.

Now I get the worst of both worlds: A car to clean off from a caked layer of ice, sleet, and snow and a trip to school where I get to face my all new students and further reinforce my own deficiencies as a teacher and a person.

Yay!

Monday, January 26, 2004

SNOWDAY!
a.k.a. "School's out for the [insert season here]..."

So today was to have been the first day with my new students. I stayed up and diligently worked on my worksheets, my procedures, my plans, making sure everything was on track. I'll be honest...I was freaked. Despite seeing a bunch of my friends this weekend at an exciting quiz bowl tournament down at Penn (Congrats to them on their victory, by the way), I was feeling very depressed and nervous. On reflection, my past semester went worse than expected and I still had a very limited idea of how to improve in the coming weeks. My aunt attempted to assuage my concerns by saying there might be a cancellation due to a rumored winter storm, but I dismissed that as the city never closes school. It's just unheard of.

Boy, is my face red.

I wake up this morning and because I'm a naive idiot, I turn on the news on TV to check if school has been delayed. Not cancelled. I don't hold out that hope. The precipitation when I went to bed last night was minimal at best. (You long time readers of TOTIB know that I needed to turn on the TV because my radio is fixed on NPR in the mornings...) So I turn it on...and it's on the early part of the alphabet. Great... I start watching as the names scroll by on the screen. When it finally gets to my district, I'm surprised to see that it's among the closings.

Immediate reaction: Disbelief
Secondary reaction: Need to reconfirm...

I rush over to the bedroom next door and pound on the door. My previously slumbering roommate asks what's up. I inform him of the possibility of cancellation. We check the district website and it turns out to be true. All public and parochial schools...CLOSED!

Immediate reaction: Giddiness
Secondary reaction: Now what?

I reconfirmed thrice over (radio, TV, internet) that school was cancelled; even tried to call into the school just in case, but no one was there. My roommate plans to go sledding later. In a few minutes I'm going back to bed. But I'm just too excited. I even called home on a Monday morning...and I was cheerful. My folks will tell you that's something of a rarity! What a weird situation: normally winter weather is supposed to increase depression and its assocated emotions. Yet another example of teaching turning everything you thought you knew on its ear!

The only possible down side to this is there may be grad certificiation classes tonight.
But even then, the news just gets better. Because tonight we get the start of a rather nasty wintry mix. And you all can guess what that means. We're all getting a little spoiled, and perhaps a lot ahead of ourselves here...but can you blame us?

To mix meteorological metaphors could lightning strike twice with this whole snow day thing?

Figure I'll plan for the worst case scenario and pray for the best, even though really I'm not much of religious fellow.

I'll let you know how the new class is when I see them...

Thursday, January 22, 2004

I know now...

Everything I need to learn I learned from teaching science at Underwood. As my current students leave me this coming Monday, I find now an ideal moment to reflect on the many things we've learned together...including these tidbits associated with review from my recent final exams:

* The freezing point of water is 0 degrees Fahrenheit...or 32 kilograms.

* New Zealand is a small island country off the coast of Canada, or maybe Seattle, Washington.

* There are 1,000 kilometers in a centimeter.

* The three particles that make up all atoms are carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen.

* The speed of a falling object can be found by multiplying its weight (in tons) by the time it falls (in seconds).

* A liter is a unit of height, approximately equal to 13 centimeters.

* Sugar is an element because it is able to react in liquids and foods.

* Sugar is not an element because sugar is not a solid, liquid or a gas.

* One can not possess an atom of water. Why? Because water is a solid!

* Salt is not eatable and the chemicals that make it up (sodium and chlorine) are!

* Eighteen electrons can fit in the second energy level of an atom.

* Sulfur is not a good conductor of electricity because it is a luster. (Whatever that is...)

* The friction force acting on an object can be found by multiplying the mass of the object by the gravitational acceleration.

* Mass and velocity are interchangable in the calculation of kinetic energy!

* Contrary to popular belief, centripetal acceleration is equal to the product of mass and tangential velocity...not momentum!

* Stoves and matches are both everyday uses of inert gases.

* Calcium and magnesium, despite being in the same group of the periodic table do not have similar properties. Why? "'Cause they just don't." (apparently the both help your bones, though...)

* Finally: A rectangle with length 3 and width 1.5 has an area of 4.5 square units.

No problem with that last one right?

Normally no, but I asked the student who gave me this answer his reasoning, and he explained that he had added the length to the width to get the area. Extremely logical, I suppose...when one ignores common sense.

But then, as the responses above indicate, it seems that many of my students can just take or leave that particular commodity on a whim.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

A dime in the lottery...

Just enough snow to make it a pain to drive.

Just enough snow to force an extra 10-15 min. of cleaning off a car.

Just enough snow to delay schools in the suburbs.

But not us here in the city.

Oh no.

Fingers are crossed but half an hour from now, I'll likely be out on the roads.

Guess that'll show me for hoping.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Ah, the B.B.C.
One of the best things I've found about living where I am now is the public radio options as compared to back home. Granted, there is some programming overlap, and I might enjoy any station that carried "Car Talk," "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me," and "All Things Considered," but here there aren't just 1 or even 2 public radio stations, but 3 accessible to the common listener. You have one station for talk radio, one station for jazz/classical, and one that's run by a local university and focuses on diverse musical talent. Typically I'll listen to the first one, most notably during my commutes...because otherwise I'd basically be cut off from the rest of the world. I have no time for T.V. news! And much as I love reading newspapers online, they don't have the same personality as my beloved N.P.R. staff. William Safire and Thomas Friedman are brilliant. No question. But can they truly compare to Carl Kasell? Actually, perhaps I'm talking about apples and oranges...I'll get back to the point next paragraph.

Still here? Good. So why did I decide to talk about NPR? Because this morning, I got woken up by my radio alarm clock, one of the four spread throughout my room to ensure prompt wakeup at 5:30. And what is the first thing I hear? Why it's B.B.C. World Update! (huzzah!)

And the top story?

"Sleep. We need it. What happens if we don't get it?"

My answer was clear: "Your lesson planning takes longer. Your tolerance, physical and mental, to rigorous tasks decreases. Your enthusiasm for challenges also. Oh, and you really feel like staying in bed rather than going to work."

Oh wait...that was a rhetorical question?
Never mind.

Monday, January 12, 2004

Oooo the pain...the pane of it all.

Loyal fans of the Invisible Ben may have wondered why our stalwart hero chose not to continue his blogging streak into the weekend and instead retreated into digital oblivion for a few days. Was he off having wild adventures in the depths of the jungle primeval? Perhaps he was jet-setting with some of his Ivy League associates at some of the finest resorts in the world, playing baccarat and sleeping with beautiful women. Or maybe he was just lesson planning his heart out.

The answer, sadly, was the last of these with one slight ommision. It's hard to lesson plan your heart out when your students have already done a great deal of the removal for you.

Case in point, Friday. As I mentioned a week ago I designed some tests for my students to take on Friday. This one was on solutions, mixtures, compounds, and molecules...it's a big unit, and we had been covering it for the better part of a month. I had provided students with a review sheet and informed them the Monday prior that it was to be (as had been the case w/tests in the past few months) open index card! That means no outside notes! Just front and back of a 3 by 5 card. This would generally be seen as quite reasonable! At least it would have been in my day.

But not here. Oh no...it was quite the scandal! My first period class griped that there was too much material to fit on one card. I attempted to assuage them by noting that the point was not to fit everything, but to use the card as a study guide! They bought into this somewhat, and also took away almost all my index cards! I don't know why...they only really needed one. Two at the most! And yet people came into class with up to 7 cards!

Still things went relatively well in first period. Only in last period with the Dirty Dozen did things go terribly awry. Why?

"Because you didn't give us index cards!"

No...I didn't. I admit it. They did not receive index cards from me the afternoon before. Frankly, I wasn't sure I had enough for everyone and besides, I had informed them for the entire week that the test was open index card! Besides, index cards are neither expensive nor especially unattainable.

But the outrage! Several girls flat out refused to take it until I explained it wasn't optional.Two or three of the most troublesome male students took the test, but only in the loosest sense. They took about 10 minutes to read it over, scribbled some half thought out answers and then proclaimed their completion. And then they began to talk.

And talk.

And talk.

The noise grew unbearable. This is a perennial problem with that class. Last period tests on a Friday afternoon could be expected to lead to talking. But it got positively offensive and very noisy, and considering the stress many people were feeling without an index card or adequate preparation, tension levels began to rise.

Finally, in an attempt to quiet down the class, I walked calmly to the door and slammed it. Hard. Perhaps too hard.

Because the next thing I knew, the glass window in the doorframe had popped out, and gashed my hand before landing on the ground.

The good news: It did not shatter and would be fixed on Monday morning.

The bad news: My knuckle was bleeding. I know had a physical scar to match my mental ones. Sadly, I could not leverage the rather bloody, though superficial, cut into intimidating my students into silence. No...they just kept talking. Telling me to get out of their face. Making fun of each other. A mess. A bloody, bloody mess in every sense of the word.

Other teachers came in to cover for me in response to the noise...and I appreciated the support. It did not help to lessen the mental pain, but it did give me a chance to head over to the bathroom, wash off my hand, and call the house of a student who was stupid enough to cheat on an open index card test for the second time in a row. He earned another zero...and will likely fail my course. His stepfather says he considers my class playtime. He'll learn only too late the cost of that sort of fooling.

So to answer the question and draw this rather rambling post to a close...the reason I didn't post was because I was feeling emotionally drained. Hearing my last period class refer to me as the worst teacher ever and an obvious novitiate in the realm of education (My worst behaved student told me that only "rookies" call home to speak with parents...) hurt. And although I could mask my distress relatively well in front of my students, never once yelling or cursing...it still stung.

I spent the weekend mostly lesson planning with only a brief set of respites on Saturday night. A teaching friend held a party at his place, and I got to chat with a bunch of other people in a similar situation to my own. Some faced the situation with depression, some with determination or persistance, others with optimism. Previously, I placed myself in the second category, albeit laced with a heavy dose of cynicism, but after Friday it leaned heavily towards the first. And all the optimistic assessments and good natured advice did little to shake that.

Ironically, only by doing my work could I take my mind off the most frustrating part of it...

Friday, January 09, 2004

My object all sublime

Yesterday was Thursday. Nothing out of the ordinary about that, except that I am currently scheduled to serve as supervisor for the 9th grade detention. The 9th grade came up with the idea of holding a school-run detention to provide teachers with an effective consequence for student misconduct. Failure to attend the detention would in theory lead to suspension, at least on an overnight basis. Because I tend to utilize the detention system, I felt it was the least I could do to donate some of my time to help the system function.

Yesterday, I went to the room down the hall where detention was held. NO ONE was there. Most notably, the freshman I had assigned a detention the day before for walking out of my class five minutes early (and more importantly, without permission) decided that half an hour was too long and just walked out.

So there I am...me, the teacher whose room I'm using, and another veteran teacher, sitting there debating the merits of the detention system. My basic argument is that without some effective consequence that students either fear or want, changes in behavior are impossible. The younger of the two teachers agreed, but also argued that without effective followups on skipped detentions, there's no reason to give detentions. It's just more hassle for the teachers. The older of the two concurred with this assessment, but argued that detention could be run independently of the 9th grade administrators. (He actually said it more eloquently than that...but I regrettably didn't write it down.)

I'm not sure why the situation surprises me. After all, people tend to look out for their own interests; if the people who volunteered to run it initially fail to show up (as is the case several days a week), and the coordinator is busy and has tmie following up on every student who cuts, then the system is bound to fail. I just wonder if I should continue clinging on to this system for lack of anything better. Should I go run detention next Thursday? Or should I write a letter outlining its flaws to submit to the administration? Or what? I'm not sure.

"My object all sublime," the Mikado once stated, "I shall achieve in time. To make the punishment fit the crime, the punishment fit the crime."

Sounds great in theory, but Messr.'s Gilbert and Sullivan likely never faced the complexities of life at Underwood High.


NB: Today marks the first time I have ever written a blog entry every weekday for a full week. It's not the biggest milestone, but to all of you who have been following along from the beginning, and to any new viewers this blog might have, I just want to take the chance to say thanks for reading.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

How to Retain a Teacher
Every alternate Wednesday, I am expected as a first year teacher to attend a program called the "New Teacher Academy." It's held in a school on the exact opposite side of the city from where I teach, and it takes a good 45 minutes to drive there and another 30-40 minutes to drive home afterwards.

The exact reasoning behind the program eludes me at the moment, but I believe it is intended to provide additional strategies and teaching methods and instill us with a level of professional respect for the work. In reality, the program comes off more as a waste of time than as a beneficial or desirable thing. All of the ideas that we discuss were presented at the District orientation earlier in the year or in the graduate courses we are required to take on methodology .

Instead we occupy our time focusing on a rather inane combination of activities. The most notable of these is the process of writing a $250 grant for a school related activity. I say this is inane, because of a simple cost-benefit analysis. Simply stated, from my perspective the amount of work we will need to put into the grant does not balance out the relative benefits one might obtain from the $250. Even if we set aside the opportunity cost of the time lost writing, revising, promoting the grant (you need official administration support), etc., there is the additional joy of chronicling the project for a presentation to be given at the district local office! (Oh yes...they want a posterboard.) Frankly, it's silly.

And in my case...it gets even sillier. Because I wrote my grant to finance the start of a quiz bowl team. (Although my new teacher coach, whose primary job these days seems to be providing advice on the grant in addition to my teaching wondered how closely I could link it in with the "measurable achievement" and "parental involvement" components of the grant.) A week after turning in the grant, I got an offer to run my school's robotics team. The opportunity to get a new set of skills and additional support from the school (in the form of the math dep. head) was appealing and also seemed to circumvent a major issue: how to use $250 to buy a buzzer system, questions, and pay for tournament fees if I started a quiz bowl team...

My teacher coach said not to worry about revising the grant, but now I've submitted a grant for one project, but have now been given the go-ahead and the by your leave from all other sources to use the money for this very different project! I wonder how I'll spend the money, since I'll be getting all the robotics equipment through the district. $250 would be some nice pocket money.

So now I go every alternate Wednesday for reasons I still don't understand completely. If it weren't a requirement of employment, I guarantee you I would not be wasting my Wednesdays that way.

As one colleague mentioned after the session yesterday, with all the other stuff we have to deal with as first year teachers, does the district think adding an additional commitment, and a frustratingly pointless one at that, will serve to increase the retention rate for new employees?

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

A cast of zany characters!

So I thought I'd just mention a few of the wacky characters who continue to populate my classes after the break:

Bladder Boy: Raises his hand 15 minutes before the end of the period to say that he had to go to the bathroom "real bad." Proceeds to inform me that he has a bladder problem and that he really has to go and if I want he'll go to the nurse and get me a note. I inform him the nurse's office is closed and he should sit down and do his work! He then says another teacher has given him permission to go to the bathroom any time. "Oh really?" I say. I proceed to call that teacher and of course the man did no such thing. I tell the kid to sit down, and he does. A few minutes later the other teacher comes over and asks who had been making such outrageous lies and bringing him into it. I point out the kid. The kid proceeds to lie... "No, it wasn't me...it was so and so." Bladder Boy's adventures weren't done though. He spent most of the rest of the period walking around the classroom looking for a pencil. And by looking for a pencil, I mean staring at a poster.

The Ladies' Man...only notThinks he's a hit with the ladies and likes walking around the class to talk with them about how hot (or not) they are. Enjoys doing such things as flirting with girls across the room and then claiming he wasn't talking, proclaiming loudly how he wants to do work and succeed and then goofing around the rest of the period, and answering questions loudly and with confidence even if he has no idea what he's saying. Yesterday he wanted to stick his hand into the flame of a portable stove. This is a very hot blue flame and he wanted to stick his hand in it. Almost did it too...


The Class Clown: Too much to really list here right now...let's just say this student has 4 F's, all poor behavior grades, and it seems like he couldn't care less.

The Hensler Smart as a whip, but a jerk, this young lady finds the class too easy and has become increasingly rude and apathetic. She complains about students talking and distracting from the class, she is often seen doing just that. She consistently shows up late to class, and yesterday accused me of intentionally trying to mark her absence when she didn't show up until 15 minutes late. (It's a good thing she had a pass or I might have done just that!)


The funny (and sad) thing? These kids are all in the same class. And man, in some ways I really can not wait to see them gone.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

24 hours later

It went about as expected yesterday. My careful lesson planning paid off (somewhat) for physics...but with the freshmen?

Let's put it this way.

I gave them the standard 20 minute warmup. (20 minutes!) It was supposed to be a simple worksheet on solutions (solvent v. solute, that kind of thing). Not only were students continuously late, trickling in up to an hour and fifteen minutes beyond the start of the period, but they were so uninterested in the subject that we spent the entire period reviewing the exercise!

20 minute warmup.
90 minute period.

Damn...damn damn damn.

One other thing. With very rare exceptions, everyone seems to be happy to be done with the current schedule in a few weeks. There was some applause when I mentioned it yesterday. I had to hide my glee...but such is life.

I'm sure I'll get a bunch of new jokers and fools and idiots next semester...but they won't be quite as much of a lost cause as I feel like some of these guys are.

Monday, January 05, 2004

Like skydiving without a parachute...
So in about half an hour I'll be out the door and back in the trenches.

My break is done.

I'm not feeling particularly happy to go back...I wonder if anyone is. The students certainly won't be. (I can only imagine how excited they'll be to have to do work in a few hours.) My fellow teachers would also likely prefer to have more time to themselves to plan/sleep/etc. Maybe the administrators are looking forward to it. There was one disciplinarian who shortly before break who lamented having to be away from the students for so long. I only wonder if he was joking.

Last night I finished typing up lesson plans and outlines for the week. It's a remarkable bit of planning compared to what I normally do. I'm hoping this will help me fulfill a New Year's resolution to get more sleep.

Now all of this would be well and good, but of course, problems arose. You see as part of that "be prepared" kick, I decided to put all my stuff in the car the night before! Makes sense as I think about it rationally now. But the problem, as it turned out, was that when I took all that material out to the car last night, I accidentally locked myself out. (Grabbed the wrong keys!)

And my roommate had just gone to bed.

And it was raining.

And right about then...at 10:00 at night, "The Mayor" (see two posts ago) decided to say hi.

And so, there I am without a coat...6 quarters in my pocket (for laundry), a key to my car but no key to my apartment and no way to get in! "The Mayor" offers to jimmy open the lock, and even went and got the tool to do it. This...freaked me out. I talked him down and went over to the payphone across the street and, putting my pride on the line, started yelling as loudly as I could into the receiver when the answering machine picked up. The first call did nothing...but by the time I was halfway through the second call, my yelling and "the Mayor"'s doorbell ringing had its effect...and my groggy roommate had opened the front door.

Phew.

(Ironic twist: the mp3 playing on my computer as I got back inside? "Wake me up, before you go go" by Wham!)

When asked yesterday how I'm feeling as I go back to the classroom, I compared it to skydiving without a parachute. It's not the fall that'll kill you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

Well then...the cargo bay doors are open. Time to make the jump.

See you on the other side!

Friday, January 02, 2004

You can't go home again...

Or so the old saying goes, but this past weekend, I decided that I would flaunt cliche and tradition and take a quick trip back to my hometown in northwest Connecticut. This after a very boring pair of days with nothing to do but watch Monty Python DVDs and share pizza with the only other non-Christian friend who had not fled the city of Philadelphia for the holidays.

Realizing that these people may have had the right idea, I decided to head north in what was immediately dubbed "a cunning plan" by all involved (namely me and my sister). My parents would have no idea I would be arriving, just in time for the last night of Channukah. So at 9:30 in the morning on Friday, I was off to the train station. I picked up some quick holiday gifts and then crammed myself into a very crowded train to Hartford. In retrospect, it would have been smarter to travel sometime other than the day after Christmas. Several hours and a quick taxi ride later, I showed up at home...a few hours earlier than even my sister expected!

Honestly my folks took it about as I expected. My dad practically dropped his soldering iron when I waltzed down into his basement workshop...he was thrilled to see me. So thrilled in fact that we went out for a father-son trip to the middle of nowhere to get a flu vaccine! Yes, it was all good fun, but the real surprise came when I came home and startled my mother. She was literally speechless for a good 10 minutes. We went to dinner at an Italian restaurant and she regained her composure long enough to explain in no uncertain terms that I should never ever ever do that sort of thing again. (Oy the guilt...) She seemed much happier by the following evening when she had the whole family sitting around the dinner table for a home cooked meal.

It was good to see family and friends, even if it was only for a few days. Got a chance to play some frisbee, which was nice despite the complete degradation of my skills. We also had a shortlived experiment with wireless networking, which although ultimately a failure was still worthwhile. Oh...and we watched a hilarious short film entitled "The Gamers," which is a must watch for anyone who has ever played Dungeons and Dragons or hung out with people who have. ("Am I still passed out at the bar?")

Then it was back here in time for New Years. A depressingly quiet evening for me, spent watching some of my ill-gotten holiday gains. (Ah, Doctor Jones, yet again we see that there is nothing you can find that I can not take away...Of course the Hovitos could have warned you, if only you spoke Hovito!) Yesterday to commemorate the New Year, I finally found a place to throw my boomerangs, and was pleased to learn I haven't lost my skills. Caught about a dozen throws. One of my resolutions is going to be trying to make time for that sort of thing.

And today it's been relatively productive...wrote up a bunch of lesson plans, worksheets, tests...I'm going to be ready for these next few weeks.

That's right...only 3 weeks! Then I get all new ones.

Nervous? A little.

But still, we soldier on.


Oh, for those who are interested, results from the movie quote contest will be up by the end of the week, along with the answers! If you think you know, drop an e-mail by clicking on the link to the right that says "e-mail the author."

That's why I have it after all.

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