Friday, February 25, 2005
A.M. v. P.M.
After returning home around 3:00 on Thursday afternoon due to the weather-induced early dismissal, I took some time to enjoy myself. Flipped through the new issue of Mental Floss (a nerdy magazine, but a wonderfully fun read!) and then picked up my latest acquisition from the local library: Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Curled up beneath three layers of bedding watching the steel-gray sky filled with a swarm of snowflakes and reading about the esoteric adventures of two magicians in Napoleonic England, I fell asleep only to awaken to the sounds of NPR from my clock radio.
I looked at the time, 5:30. My customary wakeup time! But this wasn't the BBC. This sounded like...American radio. Wait a minute...if this was Americna radio they should be announcing school closings. But no...they were doing news stories about the Middle East. And that was when it hit me. That was Scott Simon, and I was listening to All Things Considered. It was 5:30 P.M. on Thursday. And it would be a LOOOOOONG 12 hours until my real wakeup and the news I dreaded that I would indeed have work in the morning.
After returning home around 3:00 on Thursday afternoon due to the weather-induced early dismissal, I took some time to enjoy myself. Flipped through the new issue of Mental Floss (a nerdy magazine, but a wonderfully fun read!) and then picked up my latest acquisition from the local library: Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Curled up beneath three layers of bedding watching the steel-gray sky filled with a swarm of snowflakes and reading about the esoteric adventures of two magicians in Napoleonic England, I fell asleep only to awaken to the sounds of NPR from my clock radio.
I looked at the time, 5:30. My customary wakeup time! But this wasn't the BBC. This sounded like...American radio. Wait a minute...if this was Americna radio they should be announcing school closings. But no...they were doing news stories about the Middle East. And that was when it hit me. That was Scott Simon, and I was listening to All Things Considered. It was 5:30 P.M. on Thursday. And it would be a LOOOOOONG 12 hours until my real wakeup and the news I dreaded that I would indeed have work in the morning.
Excellence Canceled on Account of Snow
A busy couple of days with many tales to tell.
Perhaps the biggest news, or lack of news, was the faux snow day we had today. Despite the hype encouraged by television meteorologists and student-made guarantees with a sincerity rarely seen in my classroom, the snow storm we had from Thursday into Friday was a bust. Sure the snow looked impressive, but it fell too early in the day and had little to no lasting accumulation on the roads. And as my father always said, "if the buses can run, there will be school." (He also said that Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Movie was worth purchasing from Blockbuster, but in this case, he was correct.) Despite the lack of cancellation, 942 students (exactly half) were absent today from Underwood High School this morning, along with approximately 20 teachers. This meant that most of first period was shot as the administration struggled to find coverage for all the homerooms and determine the schedule for the day.
What eventually transpired, filling up most of the morning, was the National Honor Society induction ceremony. This was actually postponed from Thursday afternoon when shortly after the principal had informed every ninth and tenth grader that we were going to stay in the gymnasium and watch this ceremony through to the end, the Powers That Be (or is that the Powers That Were?) called from downtown to inform us that school was closing early due to snow. Our "celebration of excellence" was therefore postponed due to inclement weather until this morning where it went on, albeit in somewhat diminished form. Only a fraction of the Honor Society students were present, and the much vaunted Underwood High School Marching Band was denied its debut performance due to a lack of functioning musicians. But the drumline was in full force, banging out polyrhythmic cadences with a vicious ferocity. One student on the snares was so furious in his drumming he actually dropped a stick and had to continue hammering away through the magic of pantomime. And the principal took advantage of the opportunity to talk in her highly redundant style about new educational partnerships with the city fire department and the "International Bacalarat" program. (The irony of mispronouncing Baccalaureate was likely lost on the majority of the audience.)
The actual induction ceremony, like so much of the Underwood environment, was both inspiring and depressing. The student members deserved the moment in the sun, no question. To excel academically in an environment like Underwood merits special commendation. However, few of their peers appeared to buy into the idea of high academic expectations. And there were so few students who met the criteria of entry: all A's and B's throughout the first two years as well as certain standards of behavior and scholarship. How many students will make it from the current freshman class if 74% of them are failing 2 or more subjects? Not many, I fear. But who knows? After all, I told my students on Thursday we would have no early dismissal...
A busy couple of days with many tales to tell.
Perhaps the biggest news, or lack of news, was the faux snow day we had today. Despite the hype encouraged by television meteorologists and student-made guarantees with a sincerity rarely seen in my classroom, the snow storm we had from Thursday into Friday was a bust. Sure the snow looked impressive, but it fell too early in the day and had little to no lasting accumulation on the roads. And as my father always said, "if the buses can run, there will be school." (He also said that Rocky and Bullwinkle: The Movie was worth purchasing from Blockbuster, but in this case, he was correct.) Despite the lack of cancellation, 942 students (exactly half) were absent today from Underwood High School this morning, along with approximately 20 teachers. This meant that most of first period was shot as the administration struggled to find coverage for all the homerooms and determine the schedule for the day.
What eventually transpired, filling up most of the morning, was the National Honor Society induction ceremony. This was actually postponed from Thursday afternoon when shortly after the principal had informed every ninth and tenth grader that we were going to stay in the gymnasium and watch this ceremony through to the end, the Powers That Be (or is that the Powers That Were?) called from downtown to inform us that school was closing early due to snow. Our "celebration of excellence" was therefore postponed due to inclement weather until this morning where it went on, albeit in somewhat diminished form. Only a fraction of the Honor Society students were present, and the much vaunted Underwood High School Marching Band was denied its debut performance due to a lack of functioning musicians. But the drumline was in full force, banging out polyrhythmic cadences with a vicious ferocity. One student on the snares was so furious in his drumming he actually dropped a stick and had to continue hammering away through the magic of pantomime. And the principal took advantage of the opportunity to talk in her highly redundant style about new educational partnerships with the city fire department and the "International Bacalarat" program. (The irony of mispronouncing Baccalaureate was likely lost on the majority of the audience.)
The actual induction ceremony, like so much of the Underwood environment, was both inspiring and depressing. The student members deserved the moment in the sun, no question. To excel academically in an environment like Underwood merits special commendation. However, few of their peers appeared to buy into the idea of high academic expectations. And there were so few students who met the criteria of entry: all A's and B's throughout the first two years as well as certain standards of behavior and scholarship. How many students will make it from the current freshman class if 74% of them are failing 2 or more subjects? Not many, I fear. But who knows? After all, I told my students on Thursday we would have no early dismissal...
Monday, February 21, 2005
Special Presidents' Day Top 10: Egg Drop Quotes
10 fun quotes taken verbatim from student papers describing their egg drop projects:
10. Also I created inertia in the inside of the box to keep the egg in an inert position to contain the momentum for the in keep it from rolling around in the container.
Wait...you created inertia? To keep the egg in an inert position? Ok...I follow that, but how do you contain momentum? You think you can CONTAIN momentum? No way man... you can't contain momentum!
(Though I hear in Soviet Russia, momentum can contain YOU!)
9. Objective: To drop an egg from 18 ft. away from the gound in a container of your choice filled with bubblewrap, cotton, balloons and also with a rubber cuttingboard at the bottom of the contatainer.
Sadly this group's contatainer did not protect the egg from breaking when it hit the gound.
8. There is no drag acting ont he container because there is no way air resistance can occur, there are no wings, air can't get caught between the container.
Just to clarify...there may be no NOTICABLE drag. But there is drag.
7. Thanks to the recent laws we learned about it science class...
Yeah, I remember the dark days...before we had gravity. Good thing they passed that law a few years back.
6. (same paper as 7, cont.) Thanks to what we learned about gravity, mass, and acceleration, I knew that the heavier the object, the fastest it falls...
Somewhere in Italy, Galileo Galilei is spinning in his grave.
5. To past this project, you have to know momentum and volicity. Because without you can't do this project.
No argument from me there, folks.
4. What I mean by this is that the contrpation we made does not way a lot and will not cause it to fall at a great speed...The asseveration should not be great because of the weight and time it has to hit the ground.
Bad spelling and grammar + bad physics = hilarity
3. (Same paper as 4, cont.) I believe that the project we made will be perfect; I have known worries at all.
I have known worries that you can use a semicolon correctly. This sentence has now completely dispelled them.
2. Momentum ahs a lot to do with this project. the reason I say this is because the mass of my packing crate increase when I added water to it; therefore its velocity increased. There are other forces involved in this project like: gravety, air resistance, potinal energy, kinetic energy, and free fall. all these forces and friction help keep our from creaking.
a. Increasing mass does not increase its velocity upon being dropped.
b. Energy is not a force. Forces are not energy. With the possible of exception of The Force (from Star Wars) described by one Jedi Master as " an energy field created by all living things."
c. I think I should just buy my students personal dictionaries. They'd lose them, but at least they might learn
how to spell words like "potential" and "gravity" before then.
And the number one favorite quote from my day of grading egg drop projects...
(Warning-do not gaze directly at quote for more than 5 seconds at a time)
1. THIS PROJECT RELATE TO WHAT WE DID IN OUR G.S.P. BECAUSE WE WERE TORT THAT IF AND OBJECT IS DROPPED FROM AN WINDOW OR SOMEWHERE CAN DETERMINE IT'S SPEED AND IT'S VELOCITY AND HOW LONG IT TAKE TO HIT THE GROUND YOU CAN ALSO FIND ONE HOW FAST IT ACCELERATE. MR. ___________ ALSO TORT US WHAT MOMENT IS AND THE BIGGER YOU ARE THE MORE MASS YOU HAVE AND THE MOMENT COME WITH YOU.
Sometimes, I joke in my more cynical moments that my students are so unprepared academically for the ninth grade that they can't even spell the name of my class: G.P.S. (General Physical Science). In this case, my
students actually exceeded my hyperbole! How many errors, both grammatical and scientific, can you find in those 2 sentences?
10 fun quotes taken verbatim from student papers describing their egg drop projects:
10. Also I created inertia in the inside of the box to keep the egg in an inert position to contain the momentum for the in keep it from rolling around in the container.
Wait...you created inertia? To keep the egg in an inert position? Ok...I follow that, but how do you contain momentum? You think you can CONTAIN momentum? No way man... you can't contain momentum!
(Though I hear in Soviet Russia, momentum can contain YOU!)
9. Objective: To drop an egg from 18 ft. away from the gound in a container of your choice filled with bubblewrap, cotton, balloons and also with a rubber cuttingboard at the bottom of the contatainer.
Sadly this group's contatainer did not protect the egg from breaking when it hit the gound.
8. There is no drag acting ont he container because there is no way air resistance can occur, there are no wings, air can't get caught between the container.
Just to clarify...there may be no NOTICABLE drag. But there is drag.
7. Thanks to the recent laws we learned about it science class...
Yeah, I remember the dark days...before we had gravity. Good thing they passed that law a few years back.
6. (same paper as 7, cont.) Thanks to what we learned about gravity, mass, and acceleration, I knew that the heavier the object, the fastest it falls...
Somewhere in Italy, Galileo Galilei is spinning in his grave.
5. To past this project, you have to know momentum and volicity. Because without you can't do this project.
No argument from me there, folks.
4. What I mean by this is that the contrpation we made does not way a lot and will not cause it to fall at a great speed...The asseveration should not be great because of the weight and time it has to hit the ground.
Bad spelling and grammar + bad physics = hilarity
3. (Same paper as 4, cont.) I believe that the project we made will be perfect; I have known worries at all.
I have known worries that you can use a semicolon correctly. This sentence has now completely dispelled them.
2. Momentum ahs a lot to do with this project. the reason I say this is because the mass of my packing crate increase when I added water to it; therefore its velocity increased. There are other forces involved in this project like: gravety, air resistance, potinal energy, kinetic energy, and free fall. all these forces and friction help keep our from creaking.
a. Increasing mass does not increase its velocity upon being dropped.
b. Energy is not a force. Forces are not energy. With the possible of exception of The Force (from Star Wars) described by one Jedi Master as " an energy field created by all living things."
c. I think I should just buy my students personal dictionaries. They'd lose them, but at least they might learn
how to spell words like "potential" and "gravity" before then.
And the number one favorite quote from my day of grading egg drop projects...
(Warning-do not gaze directly at quote for more than 5 seconds at a time)
1. THIS PROJECT RELATE TO WHAT WE DID IN OUR G.S.P. BECAUSE WE WERE TORT THAT IF AND OBJECT IS DROPPED FROM AN WINDOW OR SOMEWHERE CAN DETERMINE IT'S SPEED AND IT'S VELOCITY AND HOW LONG IT TAKE TO HIT THE GROUND YOU CAN ALSO FIND ONE HOW FAST IT ACCELERATE. MR. ___________ ALSO TORT US WHAT MOMENT IS AND THE BIGGER YOU ARE THE MORE MASS YOU HAVE AND THE MOMENT COME WITH YOU.
Sometimes, I joke in my more cynical moments that my students are so unprepared academically for the ninth grade that they can't even spell the name of my class: G.P.S. (General Physical Science). In this case, my
students actually exceeded my hyperbole! How many errors, both grammatical and scientific, can you find in those 2 sentences?
Saturday, February 19, 2005
To:
From: The Administrative Team
Re: Midterms
Thank you for submitting your midterm examination. As you are aware, the Bench mark Assessments provide little opportunity for students to demonstrate higher order thinking skills, therefore it was requested that emphasis be placed on higher order thinking questions, such as: essays, compare and contrast, analytical thinking, interpretations, and word problems with written explanations. Your midterm did not meet this request.
As you consider drafting your final exam, it is requested that all questions require students to use higher order thinking skills. Questions such as: multiple choice, fill in the blanks, true or false, description/definitions will not be accepted. Please feel free to contact the administrator assigned to your contact area.
[NB: The above memo was passed out verbatim a few weeks ago. I received it because my midterm consisted solely of multiple choice questions. This was the open note, open book, group midterm that students still failed. Obviously this was due to the test's overemphasis on lower order thinking skills. I do look forward to designing a more complex final exam that will take twice as long to grade and will likely result in even more failing grades.]
From: The Administrative Team
Re: Midterms
Thank you for submitting your midterm examination. As you are aware, the Bench mark Assessments provide little opportunity for students to demonstrate higher order thinking skills, therefore it was requested that emphasis be placed on higher order thinking questions, such as: essays, compare and contrast, analytical thinking, interpretations, and word problems with written explanations. Your midterm did not meet this request.
As you consider drafting your final exam, it is requested that all questions require students to use higher order thinking skills. Questions such as: multiple choice, fill in the blanks, true or false, description/definitions will not be accepted. Please feel free to contact the administrator assigned to your contact area.
[NB: The above memo was passed out verbatim a few weeks ago. I received it because my midterm consisted solely of multiple choice questions. This was the open note, open book, group midterm that students still failed. Obviously this was due to the test's overemphasis on lower order thinking skills. I do look forward to designing a more complex final exam that will take twice as long to grade and will likely result in even more failing grades.]
The yolk's on me...
Yesterday was the first ever Underwood High School Egg Drop. The idea is a simple one, recreated at colleges and high schools alike: design a container that will protect an egg from breaking after being dropped/shot a distance particularly unfriendly to egg shells. In our case, the drop was performed from the second floor balcony of the school's Marble Hall onto an unforgiving stone floor. About 30-40% of student designs proved successful, and my fellow science teacher and I learned a great deal in running the event:
* DO let security know that you will be holding an all-day science event in a publicly accessible place.
* DO put all eggs into ziploc bags before loading them into containers. The bags may still break, but cleanup is a lot easier.
* DO contact the yearbook staff. I had almost forgotten to do this, but a chance encounter with the yearbook advisor ensured that the event would be immortalized.
* DO encourage other students to serve in administrative tasks like keeping track of who has already dropped their containers and the results of the drop.
* DO buy extra eggs. You never know how many students will bring in a project the day after they were supposed to.
* DO NOT invite other classes to attend unless their teachers are willing to come supervise.
* DO NOT leave student designs in an area accessible to the audience. Two of the groups in my class were out on a field trip and will likely be quite upset to learn that someone damaged their hard work.
* DO NOT allow students to use balloons. This time, we allowed it, but in the future, they will be banned. They make things too easy. Same with bubble wrap. Also after the drop, kids delighted in popping the balloons in their designs as loudly as possible.
* DO NOT allow students access to materials like tape, scissors, etc. if you tell them there will be no modifications after turning in the project. I had one kid add a half roll of tape to his design and then deny it to my face. I told him that's fine. You cheated and even if you deny it, I know it to be true. You will lose points. And then he looked at me like I was crazy.
* DO NOT get your hopes up about the media dropping by to see what's going on. As one teacher told me at the end of the day, the TV stations I contacted (all 3 of them) would have been crowding around if we were dropping STUDENTS from the second floor, but show them performing an experiment, even a fun one, is not generally deemed newsworthy.
Anyhow, there are probably other suggestions, but those are the ones that come to mind immediately.
In honor of the whole egg drop thing, allow me to present this animation made by people who like eggs more than anyone I have ever met: The Korean Egg Council.
Yesterday was the first ever Underwood High School Egg Drop. The idea is a simple one, recreated at colleges and high schools alike: design a container that will protect an egg from breaking after being dropped/shot a distance particularly unfriendly to egg shells. In our case, the drop was performed from the second floor balcony of the school's Marble Hall onto an unforgiving stone floor. About 30-40% of student designs proved successful, and my fellow science teacher and I learned a great deal in running the event:
* DO let security know that you will be holding an all-day science event in a publicly accessible place.
* DO put all eggs into ziploc bags before loading them into containers. The bags may still break, but cleanup is a lot easier.
* DO contact the yearbook staff. I had almost forgotten to do this, but a chance encounter with the yearbook advisor ensured that the event would be immortalized.
* DO encourage other students to serve in administrative tasks like keeping track of who has already dropped their containers and the results of the drop.
* DO buy extra eggs. You never know how many students will bring in a project the day after they were supposed to.
* DO NOT invite other classes to attend unless their teachers are willing to come supervise.
* DO NOT leave student designs in an area accessible to the audience. Two of the groups in my class were out on a field trip and will likely be quite upset to learn that someone damaged their hard work.
* DO NOT allow students to use balloons. This time, we allowed it, but in the future, they will be banned. They make things too easy. Same with bubble wrap. Also after the drop, kids delighted in popping the balloons in their designs as loudly as possible.
* DO NOT allow students access to materials like tape, scissors, etc. if you tell them there will be no modifications after turning in the project. I had one kid add a half roll of tape to his design and then deny it to my face. I told him that's fine. You cheated and even if you deny it, I know it to be true. You will lose points. And then he looked at me like I was crazy.
* DO NOT get your hopes up about the media dropping by to see what's going on. As one teacher told me at the end of the day, the TV stations I contacted (all 3 of them) would have been crowding around if we were dropping STUDENTS from the second floor, but show them performing an experiment, even a fun one, is not generally deemed newsworthy.
Anyhow, there are probably other suggestions, but those are the ones that come to mind immediately.
In honor of the whole egg drop thing, allow me to present this animation made by people who like eggs more than anyone I have ever met: The Korean Egg Council.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
God Bless the Onion!
The Powers That Be [TM] at America's Finest News Source [TM] probably have far better things to do with their time than reading this blog. After reading this article however, it would not surprise me if they did.
I can't tell you how many times I have written that exact thing in my head, right down to the phrase "wasting their precious youth on a Sisyphean endeavor." This is scarily accurate, especially this quote which harkens back to an incident at my training in Los Angeles where an actual deceased canine was lying in front of the school:
"I knew that teaching in a severely under-funded inner-city school would be challenging, but I wanted to get out into the real world," Cuellen said. "Well, breaking up fistfights between 8-year-olds all day long, I got a real ugly view of reality. Do you want to know reality? Look at a dog lying dead in the gutter. That's reality."
NB: The only fist fight I had to deal with today was between a 14 yr. old girl who was ready to kill one of her classmates for shooting a spitball at her from across the room. No 8 year olds were harmed in the running of my classroom.
The Powers That Be [TM] at America's Finest News Source [TM] probably have far better things to do with their time than reading this blog. After reading this article however, it would not surprise me if they did.
I can't tell you how many times I have written that exact thing in my head, right down to the phrase "wasting their precious youth on a Sisyphean endeavor." This is scarily accurate, especially this quote which harkens back to an incident at my training in Los Angeles where an actual deceased canine was lying in front of the school:
"I knew that teaching in a severely under-funded inner-city school would be challenging, but I wanted to get out into the real world," Cuellen said. "Well, breaking up fistfights between 8-year-olds all day long, I got a real ugly view of reality. Do you want to know reality? Look at a dog lying dead in the gutter. That's reality."
NB: The only fist fight I had to deal with today was between a 14 yr. old girl who was ready to kill one of her classmates for shooting a spitball at her from across the room. No 8 year olds were harmed in the running of my classroom.
Monday, February 14, 2005
A Pair of Broken Hearts
It was Valentine's Day at Underwood High School (or "Valentimes" if the announcements are to be believed) and love was in the air. In my classroom, love manifested itself in the form of a test. Not just any test though. Following hot on the heels of the now legendary open-note, open-book, group midterm was my new and improved open-book, open-index card test on dynamics!
30 multiple choice questions, 10 true/false with students expected to correct false statements. A bonus word problem worth an additional 10%, not to mention an extra 5% added to any student who attached their 3 x 5 index card to the test.
While this setup would seem favorable to student success, some students refused to take advantage of the opportunity. Many students complained it was too hard because I didn't tell them which pages to look on. (I did refer them to this magical thing called an "index" however which was rumored to contain clues to the location of any subject in the textbook if one could only decipher its mystical scrawls.) Sometimes I wonder if I should just give them an answer key and be done with the whole thing...
Of all the argumentative and disruptive students today, all the noisemakers, troublemakers, test-stealers, answer-copiers, and other assorted knuckleheads, one stood out in my first period class. This student, a particularly "clever" so-and-so thought that it would hurt my feelings if he chose to ball up the exam rather than take it. When I politely asked him if I could throw out his paper, he refused. Grabbing the ball of paper in his fist, he said he'd throw it out as he left the room so that I could "dig it out of the trash" myself. Understand...this is a student with an average in the 40s before throwing away his first major exam for the marking period. That brought him down to a 28. Honestly, though I ended up calling his house and reporting the incident to the Ninth Grade Academy offices, it was very difficult for me to restrain myself from laughing at the idiocy of his malice. "Go ahead," I felt like shouting. "Throw out your paper. Give me less work to grade. Make it harder to fail you and ensure your attendance at summer school!" Yeah, I was shattered... The whoel thing merely confirmed what a colleague had said about that student. Whatever he's doing at Underwood, it is not to do school.
Anyhow, I had the opportunity to break some hearts on my own later in the day when the Ninth Grade Academy asked me for a favor. Remember those students (74% or so) who failed two or more subjects and needed remediation for fear of failing the ninth grade? Well one remediation option is a program known as Credit Recovery where students basically take an extra 3 hrs. of class per week in a given subject and their previously failing averages are brought up from F's to D's. Or at least that's how it is supposed to work. In any event, between the 3 physical science classes there are a lot of failing students and they need to find someone to supervise two sections of Credit Recovery. Right now however, I'm opposed to the idea. Part of this is selfish: I don't want to give up my afternoon time teaching students who have already shown absolutely no interest in the subject. Part of this is pragmatic: I have enough difficulties in my classroom management to have to deal with a whole new set of students who, on the whole, would likely be more argumentative than my current group. And part of this is based on principle: I dislike the Credit Recovery concept, for a simple reason...it perpetuates the belief that students do not need to put in time to pass their classes the first go around. After all, there's always Credit Recovery. Or Summer School. Or this that and the other... There is no accountability, and that burns me up. This is why tomorrow I will have to break some hearts when I tell them that barring a significant incentive package on their part I will not teach Credit Recovery.
And now to bed.
It was Valentine's Day at Underwood High School (or "Valentimes" if the announcements are to be believed) and love was in the air. In my classroom, love manifested itself in the form of a test. Not just any test though. Following hot on the heels of the now legendary open-note, open-book, group midterm was my new and improved open-book, open-index card test on dynamics!
30 multiple choice questions, 10 true/false with students expected to correct false statements. A bonus word problem worth an additional 10%, not to mention an extra 5% added to any student who attached their 3 x 5 index card to the test.
While this setup would seem favorable to student success, some students refused to take advantage of the opportunity. Many students complained it was too hard because I didn't tell them which pages to look on. (I did refer them to this magical thing called an "index" however which was rumored to contain clues to the location of any subject in the textbook if one could only decipher its mystical scrawls.) Sometimes I wonder if I should just give them an answer key and be done with the whole thing...
Of all the argumentative and disruptive students today, all the noisemakers, troublemakers, test-stealers, answer-copiers, and other assorted knuckleheads, one stood out in my first period class. This student, a particularly "clever" so-and-so thought that it would hurt my feelings if he chose to ball up the exam rather than take it. When I politely asked him if I could throw out his paper, he refused. Grabbing the ball of paper in his fist, he said he'd throw it out as he left the room so that I could "dig it out of the trash" myself. Understand...this is a student with an average in the 40s before throwing away his first major exam for the marking period. That brought him down to a 28. Honestly, though I ended up calling his house and reporting the incident to the Ninth Grade Academy offices, it was very difficult for me to restrain myself from laughing at the idiocy of his malice. "Go ahead," I felt like shouting. "Throw out your paper. Give me less work to grade. Make it harder to fail you and ensure your attendance at summer school!" Yeah, I was shattered... The whoel thing merely confirmed what a colleague had said about that student. Whatever he's doing at Underwood, it is not to do school.
Anyhow, I had the opportunity to break some hearts on my own later in the day when the Ninth Grade Academy asked me for a favor. Remember those students (74% or so) who failed two or more subjects and needed remediation for fear of failing the ninth grade? Well one remediation option is a program known as Credit Recovery where students basically take an extra 3 hrs. of class per week in a given subject and their previously failing averages are brought up from F's to D's. Or at least that's how it is supposed to work. In any event, between the 3 physical science classes there are a lot of failing students and they need to find someone to supervise two sections of Credit Recovery. Right now however, I'm opposed to the idea. Part of this is selfish: I don't want to give up my afternoon time teaching students who have already shown absolutely no interest in the subject. Part of this is pragmatic: I have enough difficulties in my classroom management to have to deal with a whole new set of students who, on the whole, would likely be more argumentative than my current group. And part of this is based on principle: I dislike the Credit Recovery concept, for a simple reason...it perpetuates the belief that students do not need to put in time to pass their classes the first go around. After all, there's always Credit Recovery. Or Summer School. Or this that and the other... There is no accountability, and that burns me up. This is why tomorrow I will have to break some hearts when I tell them that barring a significant incentive package on their part I will not teach Credit Recovery.
And now to bed.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
New York's Finest Taxi Service
The third marking period began this past week at Underwood High School, and when a new marking period is beginning , can the last marking period's report cards be far behind? Now I'll be brutally honest here for a moment. I hate report cards. It's not the distribution of them per se. Or student reactions thereto. But after last marking period's fiasco, I was really dreading the possibility of another report card night. What can I say? I'm confident enough in my own incompetence as a teacher that I don't need to hear fifteen parents tell me that I have chosen the wrong profession.
Which is why I was so thrilled that report card night was canceled this marking period due to a clause in the teacher contract which requires employees of the school district to stay after school for only two conference nights during a year. And we've already done that. So no conference, life is good, right?
Well...it's a funny thing. On Monday, we receive the news that classes will be dismissed ten minutes early so students can go back to their homerooms and pick up their report cards. But despite my best efforts, I can't find my report cards. I spend my prep period looking for the ninth grade academy supervisor, but she's M.I.A. There are rumors that she's working in the roster office, but I had no time to pursue that avenue of questioning. Eventually I gave it up, figuring that more information would be forthcoming and lo and behold, end of the day, let's say 15 minutes or so, I get a visit from one of the department's English teachers and sometimes-disciplinarian. She brings me a stack of report cards, and I flip through. There are a lot fewer than the thirty that should be in my homeroom. Like about twenty less.
"Where, oh where could they be?" I hear you wondering out there in cyberspace.
And I confess, I had the same question.
So, I asked, and discovered the missing report cards were missing for a reason. Which is why after passing out and dismissing the ten kids whose report cards were in my possession, I read off the following letter from the ninth grade academy and the Underwood administrative team (paraphrased below for dramatic effect):
Dear Parent/Guardian,
Your son/daughter is suffering academically and is in danger of failing the ninth grade. You are receiving this letter because he/she is failing at least two courses this marking period. Effective immediately, your son/daughter is suspended. You will need to come in to school to pick up his/her report card and discuss possible remediation options to help him/her avoid his/her otherwise grusome academic fate...
Here are three possible meeting times for you to come in.
Looking forward to seeing you,
The Underwood Ninth Grade Team!
That's right. Every student in the Underwood Ninth Grade with two or more failing marks...suspended. Just like that. The kids went crazy...cussing, storming down the hallways. A few of them crashed into my classroom starting to ask for information on their grades, but I threw them out. I was not in the mood to argue. Besides, I was more interested in finding out the specifics. As I found out today, the total failure rate across the ninth grade was 74%. Nearly 3/4 of the ninth grade...failing two or more subjects. In an instant, 276 students had been evicted from the school. In one of the advisories I teach, all of the students were gone except for two. My lesson plans on momentum had to be scrapped. Why take the pains to teach five kids what would need to be retaught the next day anyway?
No, I took advantage of the opportunity to take some students to the lab. For the first time this year, as a reward, I took my freshmen to the lab. And we did some science. And it was good. Sure there were some snags, like kids who got reinstated ahead of schedule. But on the whole it was a good day. Even if I had to stay late to help out at the big parent meeting and listen to a few parents tell me how bad a teacher I was.
In terms of sheer artistry and ability to inspire fear among the student body, the whole suspension thing reminded of nothing so much as one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies...and I'll let con artist Verbal Kint wrap up this post with his summation of the vignette in question which involves criminals setting up a ring of corrupt Big Apple cops:
The third marking period began this past week at Underwood High School, and when a new marking period is beginning , can the last marking period's report cards be far behind? Now I'll be brutally honest here for a moment. I hate report cards. It's not the distribution of them per se. Or student reactions thereto. But after last marking period's fiasco, I was really dreading the possibility of another report card night. What can I say? I'm confident enough in my own incompetence as a teacher that I don't need to hear fifteen parents tell me that I have chosen the wrong profession.
Which is why I was so thrilled that report card night was canceled this marking period due to a clause in the teacher contract which requires employees of the school district to stay after school for only two conference nights during a year. And we've already done that. So no conference, life is good, right?
Well...it's a funny thing. On Monday, we receive the news that classes will be dismissed ten minutes early so students can go back to their homerooms and pick up their report cards. But despite my best efforts, I can't find my report cards. I spend my prep period looking for the ninth grade academy supervisor, but she's M.I.A. There are rumors that she's working in the roster office, but I had no time to pursue that avenue of questioning. Eventually I gave it up, figuring that more information would be forthcoming and lo and behold, end of the day, let's say 15 minutes or so, I get a visit from one of the department's English teachers and sometimes-disciplinarian. She brings me a stack of report cards, and I flip through. There are a lot fewer than the thirty that should be in my homeroom. Like about twenty less.
"Where, oh where could they be?" I hear you wondering out there in cyberspace.
And I confess, I had the same question.
So, I asked, and discovered the missing report cards were missing for a reason. Which is why after passing out and dismissing the ten kids whose report cards were in my possession, I read off the following letter from the ninth grade academy and the Underwood administrative team (paraphrased below for dramatic effect):
Dear Parent/Guardian,
Your son/daughter is suffering academically and is in danger of failing the ninth grade. You are receiving this letter because he/she is failing at least two courses this marking period. Effective immediately, your son/daughter is suspended. You will need to come in to school to pick up his/her report card and discuss possible remediation options to help him/her avoid his/her otherwise grusome academic fate...
Here are three possible meeting times for you to come in.
Looking forward to seeing you,
The Underwood Ninth Grade Team!
That's right. Every student in the Underwood Ninth Grade with two or more failing marks...suspended. Just like that. The kids went crazy...cussing, storming down the hallways. A few of them crashed into my classroom starting to ask for information on their grades, but I threw them out. I was not in the mood to argue. Besides, I was more interested in finding out the specifics. As I found out today, the total failure rate across the ninth grade was 74%. Nearly 3/4 of the ninth grade...failing two or more subjects. In an instant, 276 students had been evicted from the school. In one of the advisories I teach, all of the students were gone except for two. My lesson plans on momentum had to be scrapped. Why take the pains to teach five kids what would need to be retaught the next day anyway?
No, I took advantage of the opportunity to take some students to the lab. For the first time this year, as a reward, I took my freshmen to the lab. And we did some science. And it was good. Sure there were some snags, like kids who got reinstated ahead of schedule. But on the whole it was a good day. Even if I had to stay late to help out at the big parent meeting and listen to a few parents tell me how bad a teacher I was.
In terms of sheer artistry and ability to inspire fear among the student body, the whole suspension thing reminded of nothing so much as one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies...and I'll let con artist Verbal Kint wrap up this post with his summation of the vignette in question which involves criminals setting up a ring of corrupt Big Apple cops:
The papers got Keaton's call that day and were on the scene before the cops were.
Strausz and Rizzi were indicted three days later. Within a few weeks, fifty more cops
went down with them. It was beautiful...
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Final Predictions
Bolting out the door for a big Superbowl shindig! My final prediction...my call for the Big Game, for those who care:
My hometown team 23, my adopted hometown's team 17.
Either way, the Invisible Ben wins.
Rock and roll...
Bolting out the door for a big Superbowl shindig! My final prediction...my call for the Big Game, for those who care:
My hometown team 23, my adopted hometown's team 17.
Either way, the Invisible Ben wins.
Rock and roll...
Newton v. Columbus
Do Now Exercise collected as a quiz - February 1, 2005:
Question 1: What are Newton's first and second laws of motion?
Acceptable Answers:
Newton's First Law: An object at rest will remain at rest and an object in motion will maintain its velocity unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
Newton's Second Law: The net force acting on an object is equal to the product of its mass and acceleration.
Unacceptable Answers:
Newton's First Law: You have to keep pushing something to keep it moving.
Newton's Second Law: The world is flat.
Do Now Exercise collected as a quiz - February 1, 2005:
Question 1: What are Newton's first and second laws of motion?
Acceptable Answers:
Newton's First Law: An object at rest will remain at rest and an object in motion will maintain its velocity unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.
Newton's Second Law: The net force acting on an object is equal to the product of its mass and acceleration.
Unacceptable Answers:
Newton's First Law: You have to keep pushing something to keep it moving.
Newton's Second Law: The world is flat.
