Thursday, May 26, 2005
The End of the Year as We Know It
They tell me that Memorial Day marks the unofficial start of summer. And nowhere is that more evident than at Underwood High School. Even last week, focus began to dwindle. With less than three full weeks of school left, students realize that they are entering the home stretch. They can gauge exactly where they are gradewise and whether or not summer school is in their future. This makes actual teaching increasingly difficult since the vast majority of students who are failing feel the need to disrupt class and hinder the efforts of those who are passing!
How else to explain the 40 minute debates on the merits of various video game systems that took place during an attempt to demonstrate the impact of increased solute on the boiling and freezing points of a solution? Or a student who would rather be carted off to security or face down a vice-principal than change his seat? Or my favorite...the "students" who continue to arrive regularly in my classroom without a backpack, notebook, pencil, or any other supplies! In an ideal world, I would be able to put up a sign outside my door requiring all students to have a binder and a pen. Oh, and somewhere to put their stuff because lockers are not provided for free at Underwood. Actually, the lockers are free, but annual lock rental is $5, so the students generally do not see a need to obtain one.
This buffet line of student behavior problems is only futher compounded by the administration, whose inconsistent discipline policies and unscheduled schoolwide functions have thrown my carefully constructed unit schedules completely out of synch. Hall sweeps are held at irregular intervals, sometimes five minutes after a period is scheduled to start, other times nearly twenty minutes in, and the penalties vary from the ever popular nothing to a detention. Frustrating any way you play it. And let's not even get started ont he debacle that was last week's Career Day. Keeping students waiting for nearly an hour and a half before seeing their first guest was rather ludicrous, but discovering later that there were not enough guests to fill the allotted 2.5 hr. time proved to be the icing on the cake. Thankfully, I was able to duck out during the last hour to work on a lesson.
I have tried my best to maintain innovative lesson plans in the face of dwindling student interest. We have made both butter and ice cream in class this year, and my hope is to snag a Dewar full of liquid nitrogen before everything is said and done, but we'll see how well that works out. Sadly this week is a wash due to field trips, so i plan to have the students create vocabulary review books in an attempt to help them prepare for the final exam and supplement their grades. I doubt this will do very much to change the percentages of passing and failing students...but such is life. At least until June 15th or so.
And it seems it will be my life at least one more year. Despite the conclusion of my two year commitment at the end of this school year, I need time this summer to ascertain my next move, so I will remain at Underwood at least through next year as I start thinking about the next steps in my life. I'll be working as a member of the building committee, possibly volunteering in the roster office, and oh yeah...possibly teaching junior year chemistry? Yeah, I'm a little surprised on that one too...
More news as events merit.
They tell me that Memorial Day marks the unofficial start of summer. And nowhere is that more evident than at Underwood High School. Even last week, focus began to dwindle. With less than three full weeks of school left, students realize that they are entering the home stretch. They can gauge exactly where they are gradewise and whether or not summer school is in their future. This makes actual teaching increasingly difficult since the vast majority of students who are failing feel the need to disrupt class and hinder the efforts of those who are passing!
How else to explain the 40 minute debates on the merits of various video game systems that took place during an attempt to demonstrate the impact of increased solute on the boiling and freezing points of a solution? Or a student who would rather be carted off to security or face down a vice-principal than change his seat? Or my favorite...the "students" who continue to arrive regularly in my classroom without a backpack, notebook, pencil, or any other supplies! In an ideal world, I would be able to put up a sign outside my door requiring all students to have a binder and a pen. Oh, and somewhere to put their stuff because lockers are not provided for free at Underwood. Actually, the lockers are free, but annual lock rental is $5, so the students generally do not see a need to obtain one.
This buffet line of student behavior problems is only futher compounded by the administration, whose inconsistent discipline policies and unscheduled schoolwide functions have thrown my carefully constructed unit schedules completely out of synch. Hall sweeps are held at irregular intervals, sometimes five minutes after a period is scheduled to start, other times nearly twenty minutes in, and the penalties vary from the ever popular nothing to a detention. Frustrating any way you play it. And let's not even get started ont he debacle that was last week's Career Day. Keeping students waiting for nearly an hour and a half before seeing their first guest was rather ludicrous, but discovering later that there were not enough guests to fill the allotted 2.5 hr. time proved to be the icing on the cake. Thankfully, I was able to duck out during the last hour to work on a lesson.
I have tried my best to maintain innovative lesson plans in the face of dwindling student interest. We have made both butter and ice cream in class this year, and my hope is to snag a Dewar full of liquid nitrogen before everything is said and done, but we'll see how well that works out. Sadly this week is a wash due to field trips, so i plan to have the students create vocabulary review books in an attempt to help them prepare for the final exam and supplement their grades. I doubt this will do very much to change the percentages of passing and failing students...but such is life. At least until June 15th or so.
And it seems it will be my life at least one more year. Despite the conclusion of my two year commitment at the end of this school year, I need time this summer to ascertain my next move, so I will remain at Underwood at least through next year as I start thinking about the next steps in my life. I'll be working as a member of the building committee, possibly volunteering in the roster office, and oh yeah...possibly teaching junior year chemistry? Yeah, I'm a little surprised on that one too...
More news as events merit.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
The Revenge of The Revenge of the Sith
Loyal readers of the Invisible Ben may have noticed that he has not been blogging as much lately. For many people this is a cause for rejoicing, but for those sadistic few who savor the suffering I chronicle here on this blog, an unannounced hiatus such as this one is downright insufferable. Now that my Internet access has been restored for the foreseeable future however, I can finally pick up where things left off.
The students have gotten increasingly off the wall the past two weeks or so. Many of the freshmen have finally realized that with less than a month left in the school year there is absolutely no way they will pass my class. This lack of effort combined with the relative difficulty of such chemistry concepts as isotopes and electron configuration have led to a general decline in grades in my class. Some kids are eattempting at least a superficial attempt at reform (notably the kid I took to task by swearing a few weeks back), but often this merely masks their underlying foolishness. That same kid I cussed out, for example, despite finally doing his homework, has taken to writing insulting notes about other students and throwing things across the room on the sly.
Then there are the kids who just have never cared from the start. One of these actually raised his fist up at me before first period on Monday. I couldn't believe it. All I asked him was whether or not he had a binder and a pencil. He clearly didn't until a friend of his came out in the hall and slipped him one. When I refused to let him in anyway he raised his fist to make me flinch, which unfortunately I did. But then I stared him right down and told him to go ahead...hit me if that would make him feel better...but that he should think carefully about the consequences. He backed down after that, but continues to be a pain, not only in my class, but in other classes. That student told me once flat out he was only in school to avoid truancy cops. I wonder how many more of my students would say the same.
Anyhow the one bright moment during the past few weeks was attending a midnight showing of Star Wars: Episode III. Yes, I was one of the nerdly masses who attended a premiere screening. The facilitator for my participation in this event was an old friend from high school who actually took the day off from work to watch all five of the other movies and the Cartoon Network Clone Wars series in preparation for the event. I was nowhere near as dedicated, having decided in advance that I would be going in for work the next morning. So one two hour nap and an hour drive into New Jersey later, I was in the front row of a theater full of very nerdy people watching arguably the most anticipated science fiction film of all time.
Was it worth it? Somewhat. In my opinion, the movie did succeed in answering all the big questions. At the same time though, it was loaded with flaws, which I was not allowed to really discuss immediately after the screening because my friends the die-hard fans would accuse me of naysaying. (And how does one respond to such an accusation? "Hey...I'm not naysaying!...Crap.") In any case, allow me to present a quick rundown of the positive and negative aspects of the film and you can make your own decisions.
Warning...here there be Spoilers!
Ten Incredibly Awesome Things About The Revenge of the Sith
1. Ian McDiarmid: This is his movie, plain and simple, and his performance in every scene is a compelling demonstration of supervillainy done right. From the subtle manipulations at the opera house to the lightsaber duels with Yoda and Mace Windu, and his final, ultimate rise to power, Palpatine is in complete control of the situation in this movie, even when he is being held hostage by separtists.
2. THE Duel: You know which one this is. Despite the presence of some robots that looked straight out of the Megaman series, the Obi-wan v. Anakin duel is everything one could ever hope for. Even more powerful than Obi-wan's eventual victory (no spoiler there, right?), is his decision to leave Anakin burning alive on the shores of a lava lake. Which of course answers the question of why Anakin is bald at the end of Return of the Jedi. It lives up to all of our expectations.
3. R2-D2: Kicking ass and taking names since 1977! Our favorite astromech droid has always had good scenes, both in the original and the prequel trilogies. But here he gets to shine as never before. There was one moment when the entire theater was cheering...you'll know it when you see it.
4. Obi-Wan Kenobi v. General Grievous: Ian McDiarmid may give the movie's greatest performances, but the biggest ass-kicker has got to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. And nowhere is this more obvious than in his duel against the 4 armed lightsaber wielding General Grievous. Just to clarify: Grievous--4 lightsabers. Obi-wan--1 light saber. Guess who wins? "How uncivilized" indeed.
5. Order 66: The elimination of the Jedi is handled with a sadness and a brutality that I didn't think Lucas had in him. Considering that the Jedi had been working in close collaboration with the Clone Troopers throughout the movie and that some had even developed into sympathetic characters, their betrayal is all the more poignant. Also worth mention under this section is Anakin's slaughter of the younglings. Holy crap. He wiped them out! All of them!
6. Yoda: Ironically, some of the best acting in the movie comes from everyone's favorite computer generated Jedi Master. You feel more emotion watching him scurry away through the vents following his duel with the Emperor in the Senate chamber than during any of the discussions between Anakin and Padme. Frank Oz really does excellent voice work here.
7. Wookies: I'll admit it. I was worried when If rist heard they would be in the movie. But seeing an army of bowcaster wielding hairballs being led by none other than Master Yoda himself. I'll admit it, I enjoyed the whole sequence.
8. John Williams: I would be remiss if I did not mention that he continues to kick musical ass in this movie. One of the people I saw the film with pointed out that the only consistent thing across all of the trilogies is that John Williams can write a beautiful and effective musical score.
9. The Tantive IV Blockade Runner: An easter egg for all the die-hard nerds. Jimmy Smits' Senator Organa escapes on a ship that seems incredibly familiar. Shouldn't it be on a diplomatic mission? I wonder if its data tapes have been destroyed. And if not, would they show Yoda and Obi-Wan had been there as well?
10. The closing scenes: Darth Vader and the Emperor stand on the bridge of an Imperial Star Destroyer with Governor Tarkin (played by Wayne Pygram---Farscape's Scorpius!) watching the initial construction of the first Death Star. Meanwhile, Jimmy Smits and his wife are playing with newly adopted daughter Leia and Obi-wan has successfully delivered baby Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. And the music from the first movie begins to swell up as Owen holds Luke before a very familiar double sunset on Tatooine and....CREDITS. Beautiful.
Ten Annoying, Frustrating, or Downright Bad Things About The Revenge of the Sith
1. The Fall of Anakin: The brutal actions of Darth Vader (post-Jedi Knight, pre-armor suit) are among some of the most intense and emotionally effective of the entire Star Wars saga, but I really had a hard time accepting his embrace of the Dark Side. This is not to say that Lucas had not set up effective motivations and personal tribulations. But the moment of change, following the death of Mace Windu, seemed overly abrupt. One minute, Anakin's this worrying kid torn between his commitment to the principles of the Jedi and his forbidden love for Natalie Portman. The next he's slaughtering Younglings. The turnaround is sudden to say the least.
2. The Ugly No: You may remember this phenomenon from its more famous appearance in The Empire Strikes Back. Remember Luke's expression when he discovered who his real father was? After seeing Episode III you can understand where that whole thing comes from as poor James Earl Jones, in one of the maybe 5 lines he has in this new trilogy, gives us a hilariously ineffective Ugly No. Should have stuck with those Verizon commercials...
3. "No...you're schmoopy!": If by chance you are George Lucas and you are reading this review, repeat after me: "I am a very talented director and cinematographer, but I need help with dialogue. Serious help. If I ever include a romantic subplot in any future movies I will seek immediate outside aid so that dialogue does not devolve into back and forth banter over who loves who more my tragic hero or my female lead."
4. The CGI Lizard: Yeah, I guess the Utapauan (Utapauese? Utapauish?) riding lizard was a neat concept and all, but it was annoyingly fake to look at and downright painful to listen to after more than a minute. In fact, ignore the first part of this complaint...the CGI was handled as well as could be expected...but that damn yipping. Lizards don't yip.
5. "She was... very beautiful. Kind, but sad." : The name of the game is continuity. Specifically, Leia tells Luke in Return of the Jedi that she remembers her real mother. This is accented even more in the official novelization of Episode VI, where Leia actually has brief memory flashes of her mothers' attempts at escape from the Empire. But here, Padme dies mere minutes after the Jedi twins are born. With all the crying and the sudden death, I'm surprised Leia has a chance to even remember her mother's eyes. Oh, and why doesn't Darth Vader recognize either C-3PO or R2-D2? I guess they never really share much screentime, but if they did I think it would be amusing if James Earl Jones asked 3PO if he remembered anything about being built in Mos Espa.
6. Jar-Jar...lives?: Damnit Lucas...we had a deal. You insert the cute, vaguely racist CGI character in Episode I and we accept it as long as he DIES in Episode III. You killed off Mace Windu. You killed off Kit Fisto. You killed off everybody else! But Jar-Jar...lives?!? This deal keeps getting worse all the time.
7. Where's Qui-Gonn?: At the end of the film, the Emperor's taken over and the two surviving Jedi, Obi-Wan and Yoda, are talking about what's going to happen next. And Yoda surprises everyone by telling them how a former colleague has discovered how to become one with the force. Obi-Wan realizes that he is talking about his old master, Qui-Gon Jinn...and that's it. Now if I were running this show, I think that would be a good time for a glowing blue Qui-Gon to show up and provide some sage advice. Wouldn't that be nice? It would tie together this trilogy, provide a little impetus for Obi-Wan t
8. Mon Mothma: M.I.A. : I've now checked this on IMDB, Wikipedia, and every other reliable movie website I know. Mon Mothma, leader of the resistance (did you know she was married? I didn't...), was supposed to make an appearance in this film. Now maybe I blinked, but Genevieve O'Reilly was nowhere to be seen in this film. Nor was the Rebel Alliance outside of Bail Organa. This should have been dealt with.
9. Sifo-dyas...who the hell was he?: Having not read the novels that Lucas and his cronies published covering the time between the films, I may be at somewhat of a disadvantage here. But one thing that was never made clear to me was exactly what the deal was with Jedi master Sifo-Dyas...the guy who ordered the clone army, and how he fit into the Emperor's plans. Also did we ever get true confirmation that the Emperor was named Darth Sidious? Did he once say "My Sith name is Darth Sidious?" Clearly we know it as an audience....but how did Yoda figure it out? I guess he's just that good.
10. This is the end: And yet there are so many questions left unanswered. What is Yoda's species? Was Captain Antilles in this movie related to Wedge? Who is this Tarkin guy and why did the Emperor put him in charge of the Death Star project? These are silly questions to be sure, but there are no more films to tell them in, barring extended footage. I don' tknow...I guess it's just a feeling of letdown from seeing the end of the saga, but all the same, I would gladly have sacrificed a scene or two of pointless romantic dialogue for more nods to the fanbase answering questions like these. But what do I know? For better and for worse, I'm not George Lucas.
Anyhow, my misgivings with the film aside, I got my comeuppance for attending a midnight screening two days later when I slept through all alarms and woke up at 8 AM. Normally I am at school by 7, so this was not a good thing--for the first time in 2 years, I was seriously late for school. In the end I only really missed advisory and the day went reasonably well despite my not having lunch. But all the same, the Sith got their revenge on me and that is why I am going to cut this post short now, gentle readers, so that I may get to bed and avoid repeating my past mistake.
May the Force be you...always.
Loyal readers of the Invisible Ben may have noticed that he has not been blogging as much lately. For many people this is a cause for rejoicing, but for those sadistic few who savor the suffering I chronicle here on this blog, an unannounced hiatus such as this one is downright insufferable. Now that my Internet access has been restored for the foreseeable future however, I can finally pick up where things left off.
The students have gotten increasingly off the wall the past two weeks or so. Many of the freshmen have finally realized that with less than a month left in the school year there is absolutely no way they will pass my class. This lack of effort combined with the relative difficulty of such chemistry concepts as isotopes and electron configuration have led to a general decline in grades in my class. Some kids are eattempting at least a superficial attempt at reform (notably the kid I took to task by swearing a few weeks back), but often this merely masks their underlying foolishness. That same kid I cussed out, for example, despite finally doing his homework, has taken to writing insulting notes about other students and throwing things across the room on the sly.
Then there are the kids who just have never cared from the start. One of these actually raised his fist up at me before first period on Monday. I couldn't believe it. All I asked him was whether or not he had a binder and a pencil. He clearly didn't until a friend of his came out in the hall and slipped him one. When I refused to let him in anyway he raised his fist to make me flinch, which unfortunately I did. But then I stared him right down and told him to go ahead...hit me if that would make him feel better...but that he should think carefully about the consequences. He backed down after that, but continues to be a pain, not only in my class, but in other classes. That student told me once flat out he was only in school to avoid truancy cops. I wonder how many more of my students would say the same.
Anyhow the one bright moment during the past few weeks was attending a midnight showing of Star Wars: Episode III. Yes, I was one of the nerdly masses who attended a premiere screening. The facilitator for my participation in this event was an old friend from high school who actually took the day off from work to watch all five of the other movies and the Cartoon Network Clone Wars series in preparation for the event. I was nowhere near as dedicated, having decided in advance that I would be going in for work the next morning. So one two hour nap and an hour drive into New Jersey later, I was in the front row of a theater full of very nerdy people watching arguably the most anticipated science fiction film of all time.
Was it worth it? Somewhat. In my opinion, the movie did succeed in answering all the big questions. At the same time though, it was loaded with flaws, which I was not allowed to really discuss immediately after the screening because my friends the die-hard fans would accuse me of naysaying. (And how does one respond to such an accusation? "Hey...I'm not naysaying!...Crap.") In any case, allow me to present a quick rundown of the positive and negative aspects of the film and you can make your own decisions.
Warning...here there be Spoilers!
Ten Incredibly Awesome Things About The Revenge of the Sith
1. Ian McDiarmid: This is his movie, plain and simple, and his performance in every scene is a compelling demonstration of supervillainy done right. From the subtle manipulations at the opera house to the lightsaber duels with Yoda and Mace Windu, and his final, ultimate rise to power, Palpatine is in complete control of the situation in this movie, even when he is being held hostage by separtists.
2. THE Duel: You know which one this is. Despite the presence of some robots that looked straight out of the Megaman series, the Obi-wan v. Anakin duel is everything one could ever hope for. Even more powerful than Obi-wan's eventual victory (no spoiler there, right?), is his decision to leave Anakin burning alive on the shores of a lava lake. Which of course answers the question of why Anakin is bald at the end of Return of the Jedi. It lives up to all of our expectations.
3. R2-D2: Kicking ass and taking names since 1977! Our favorite astromech droid has always had good scenes, both in the original and the prequel trilogies. But here he gets to shine as never before. There was one moment when the entire theater was cheering...you'll know it when you see it.
4. Obi-Wan Kenobi v. General Grievous: Ian McDiarmid may give the movie's greatest performances, but the biggest ass-kicker has got to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. And nowhere is this more obvious than in his duel against the 4 armed lightsaber wielding General Grievous. Just to clarify: Grievous--4 lightsabers. Obi-wan--1 light saber. Guess who wins? "How uncivilized" indeed.
5. Order 66: The elimination of the Jedi is handled with a sadness and a brutality that I didn't think Lucas had in him. Considering that the Jedi had been working in close collaboration with the Clone Troopers throughout the movie and that some had even developed into sympathetic characters, their betrayal is all the more poignant. Also worth mention under this section is Anakin's slaughter of the younglings. Holy crap. He wiped them out! All of them!
6. Yoda: Ironically, some of the best acting in the movie comes from everyone's favorite computer generated Jedi Master. You feel more emotion watching him scurry away through the vents following his duel with the Emperor in the Senate chamber than during any of the discussions between Anakin and Padme. Frank Oz really does excellent voice work here.
7. Wookies: I'll admit it. I was worried when If rist heard they would be in the movie. But seeing an army of bowcaster wielding hairballs being led by none other than Master Yoda himself. I'll admit it, I enjoyed the whole sequence.
8. John Williams: I would be remiss if I did not mention that he continues to kick musical ass in this movie. One of the people I saw the film with pointed out that the only consistent thing across all of the trilogies is that John Williams can write a beautiful and effective musical score.
9. The Tantive IV Blockade Runner: An easter egg for all the die-hard nerds. Jimmy Smits' Senator Organa escapes on a ship that seems incredibly familiar. Shouldn't it be on a diplomatic mission? I wonder if its data tapes have been destroyed. And if not, would they show Yoda and Obi-Wan had been there as well?
10. The closing scenes: Darth Vader and the Emperor stand on the bridge of an Imperial Star Destroyer with Governor Tarkin (played by Wayne Pygram---Farscape's Scorpius!) watching the initial construction of the first Death Star. Meanwhile, Jimmy Smits and his wife are playing with newly adopted daughter Leia and Obi-wan has successfully delivered baby Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. And the music from the first movie begins to swell up as Owen holds Luke before a very familiar double sunset on Tatooine and....CREDITS. Beautiful.
Ten Annoying, Frustrating, or Downright Bad Things About The Revenge of the Sith
1. The Fall of Anakin: The brutal actions of Darth Vader (post-Jedi Knight, pre-armor suit) are among some of the most intense and emotionally effective of the entire Star Wars saga, but I really had a hard time accepting his embrace of the Dark Side. This is not to say that Lucas had not set up effective motivations and personal tribulations. But the moment of change, following the death of Mace Windu, seemed overly abrupt. One minute, Anakin's this worrying kid torn between his commitment to the principles of the Jedi and his forbidden love for Natalie Portman. The next he's slaughtering Younglings. The turnaround is sudden to say the least.
2. The Ugly No: You may remember this phenomenon from its more famous appearance in The Empire Strikes Back. Remember Luke's expression when he discovered who his real father was? After seeing Episode III you can understand where that whole thing comes from as poor James Earl Jones, in one of the maybe 5 lines he has in this new trilogy, gives us a hilariously ineffective Ugly No. Should have stuck with those Verizon commercials...
3. "No...you're schmoopy!": If by chance you are George Lucas and you are reading this review, repeat after me: "I am a very talented director and cinematographer, but I need help with dialogue. Serious help. If I ever include a romantic subplot in any future movies I will seek immediate outside aid so that dialogue does not devolve into back and forth banter over who loves who more my tragic hero or my female lead."
4. The CGI Lizard: Yeah, I guess the Utapauan (Utapauese? Utapauish?) riding lizard was a neat concept and all, but it was annoyingly fake to look at and downright painful to listen to after more than a minute. In fact, ignore the first part of this complaint...the CGI was handled as well as could be expected...but that damn yipping. Lizards don't yip.
5. "She was... very beautiful. Kind, but sad." : The name of the game is continuity. Specifically, Leia tells Luke in Return of the Jedi that she remembers her real mother. This is accented even more in the official novelization of Episode VI, where Leia actually has brief memory flashes of her mothers' attempts at escape from the Empire. But here, Padme dies mere minutes after the Jedi twins are born. With all the crying and the sudden death, I'm surprised Leia has a chance to even remember her mother's eyes. Oh, and why doesn't Darth Vader recognize either C-3PO or R2-D2? I guess they never really share much screentime, but if they did I think it would be amusing if James Earl Jones asked 3PO if he remembered anything about being built in Mos Espa.
6. Jar-Jar...lives?: Damnit Lucas...we had a deal. You insert the cute, vaguely racist CGI character in Episode I and we accept it as long as he DIES in Episode III. You killed off Mace Windu. You killed off Kit Fisto. You killed off everybody else! But Jar-Jar...lives?!? This deal keeps getting worse all the time.
7. Where's Qui-Gonn?: At the end of the film, the Emperor's taken over and the two surviving Jedi, Obi-Wan and Yoda, are talking about what's going to happen next. And Yoda surprises everyone by telling them how a former colleague has discovered how to become one with the force. Obi-Wan realizes that he is talking about his old master, Qui-Gon Jinn...and that's it. Now if I were running this show, I think that would be a good time for a glowing blue Qui-Gon to show up and provide some sage advice. Wouldn't that be nice? It would tie together this trilogy, provide a little impetus for Obi-Wan t
8. Mon Mothma: M.I.A. : I've now checked this on IMDB, Wikipedia, and every other reliable movie website I know. Mon Mothma, leader of the resistance (did you know she was married? I didn't...), was supposed to make an appearance in this film. Now maybe I blinked, but Genevieve O'Reilly was nowhere to be seen in this film. Nor was the Rebel Alliance outside of Bail Organa. This should have been dealt with.
9. Sifo-dyas...who the hell was he?: Having not read the novels that Lucas and his cronies published covering the time between the films, I may be at somewhat of a disadvantage here. But one thing that was never made clear to me was exactly what the deal was with Jedi master Sifo-Dyas...the guy who ordered the clone army, and how he fit into the Emperor's plans. Also did we ever get true confirmation that the Emperor was named Darth Sidious? Did he once say "My Sith name is Darth Sidious?" Clearly we know it as an audience....but how did Yoda figure it out? I guess he's just that good.
10. This is the end: And yet there are so many questions left unanswered. What is Yoda's species? Was Captain Antilles in this movie related to Wedge? Who is this Tarkin guy and why did the Emperor put him in charge of the Death Star project? These are silly questions to be sure, but there are no more films to tell them in, barring extended footage. I don' tknow...I guess it's just a feeling of letdown from seeing the end of the saga, but all the same, I would gladly have sacrificed a scene or two of pointless romantic dialogue for more nods to the fanbase answering questions like these. But what do I know? For better and for worse, I'm not George Lucas.
Anyhow, my misgivings with the film aside, I got my comeuppance for attending a midnight screening two days later when I slept through all alarms and woke up at 8 AM. Normally I am at school by 7, so this was not a good thing--for the first time in 2 years, I was seriously late for school. In the end I only really missed advisory and the day went reasonably well despite my not having lunch. But all the same, the Sith got their revenge on me and that is why I am going to cut this post short now, gentle readers, so that I may get to bed and avoid repeating my past mistake.
May the Force be you...always.
Monday, May 09, 2005
A Big, Big B...S!
What a way to start the week! Two students got arrested for fighting in my class before lunch. This may sound overly harsh, but at least one of the students took a swing at an officer, which is grounds for assault in anyone's book. Stupid move.
Speaking of stupid moves though...I decided to take a student in my last period aside for an after school conference after he gave me some lip in class. For context, this kid is missing nearly 30 assignments. The only things he has in fact turned in were tests, and let's just say his grades on those were less than stellar. He walks around in class. He talks. He is a typical disruptive student. The twist is that he was apparently a lawyer in a past life and therefore can admit no wrong. Furthermore, he threatened after class to go straight to my principal and let her know what I had done.
Which begged the question: "What have I done?" All I wanted to know was why he was upset. I think the crux of it was that because he was being disruptive, I refused to give him a note sheet to copy material off the overhead. And that I took the copy he stole off my desk on the sly and crumpled it up in front of him. That might have been it. But he refused to answer. He kept giving me the runaround.
And then, for the first time since I've been teaching, I did something I did not expect.
I asked him when he was going to cut out the bullshit.
Not B.S. Not horsehockey. Bull shit.
First time since I started that I cursed, flat out cursed, int he presence of a student.
I suppose it could have been worse. I could have said something directed at him. And it's not like he was not trying to play around.
Still...annoying to lose my cool. Perhaps I've just been overly stressed.
What a way to start the week! Two students got arrested for fighting in my class before lunch. This may sound overly harsh, but at least one of the students took a swing at an officer, which is grounds for assault in anyone's book. Stupid move.
Speaking of stupid moves though...I decided to take a student in my last period aside for an after school conference after he gave me some lip in class. For context, this kid is missing nearly 30 assignments. The only things he has in fact turned in were tests, and let's just say his grades on those were less than stellar. He walks around in class. He talks. He is a typical disruptive student. The twist is that he was apparently a lawyer in a past life and therefore can admit no wrong. Furthermore, he threatened after class to go straight to my principal and let her know what I had done.
Which begged the question: "What have I done?" All I wanted to know was why he was upset. I think the crux of it was that because he was being disruptive, I refused to give him a note sheet to copy material off the overhead. And that I took the copy he stole off my desk on the sly and crumpled it up in front of him. That might have been it. But he refused to answer. He kept giving me the runaround.
And then, for the first time since I've been teaching, I did something I did not expect.
I asked him when he was going to cut out the bullshit.
Not B.S. Not horsehockey. Bull shit.
First time since I started that I cursed, flat out cursed, int he presence of a student.
I suppose it could have been worse. I could have said something directed at him. And it's not like he was not trying to play around.
Still...annoying to lose my cool. Perhaps I've just been overly stressed.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
My Stand-up Life
So an old friend from high school contacted me last night. Wanted some advice on jokes he was writing for a comedy routine he was working on for a medical school talent show. At the time, I wasn't sure exactly what he thought my qualifications were. Granted, I have written for a humor magazine before, but I'm certainly not a comedic genius. My performance experience is limited only to occasional skits for the many sundry organizations with which I have been affiliated over the years--no standup...not even once. And let's not even get into the editorial issues of reading another person's standup routine with no concept of their delivery. The whole thing just seemed like a bad idea.
Still, I read over his stuff Some of it was a little lewd, more than I would have expected, and the subject matter jumped all over. Medical jokes...computer jokes...sex jokes...all over the place. It was as though he had taken all these different subjects, written jokes about them, threw them into the barrels of a shotgun, fired them against the wall, and copied down what stuck. Some of the pieces were kinda mangled, but there were others that remained intact and retained their comedic merit.
Most of these were related to my friend's time as a medical student, and it started me thinking about how I would turn things that happened during my day into a comedy routine. After all, we're most able to poke fun at the things we know best.
For example:
I set my alarm at 5:30 in the morning to NPR. That early in the morning, it's the BBC World Report. The strange thing about listening to the British is that no matter what they're talking about, it always sounds dignified and proper to an American. A British news anchor could talk about the mating habits of the Australian fruit bat, and it would still sound like a Shakespeare reading to the average Joe on the street.
Later on in the car I heard an advertisement for Vermont Teddy Bears. "They're the perfect gift," the announcer said. "And they last forever." I found that terrifying. Centuries from now, when all the great cities have crumbled to dust, these bears will remain. A team of alien archaeologists will uncover a big stash of these customized bears and deduce two things: that we worshiped the great Sky Bear and that its name was MOM.
Work went well today. Only got called a dickhead twice...and hardly anything was thrown. At me anyway.
Seriously...the best thing I can compare my day with is drinking whiskey. The first few drinks don't go down easily, but by midday, it's all smooth sailing...until the hangover around 8th period. As soon as they walk through the door BAM Instant Headache. And I'm teaching in a haze of noise...when I dim the lights and turn on the overhead it's almost like a rave...only instead of ecstasy the kids are sniffing whiteout...and instead of German trance-techno, it's me rambling about atomic mass. And then, just when I think it's over and the sickness has passed...in comes ninth period. The extra double shot of Jack Daniels you really shouldn't have after a full day of drinking. And that's when I get completely sick of it all...fortunately I can recover by the next day to start the cycle again. Binge, purge, binge, purge...it's vaguely bulimic...but it's a living!
Yeah, I know. These are pretty dumb, and I still have a long way to go before I could make my big break on the standup circuit. But I need to start writing more of this stuff down. The funny stuff and not just the befuddling or frustrating stuff. (And believe me today, there really was a lot of that.) That's the big lesson. Or should I call it the punchline?
So an old friend from high school contacted me last night. Wanted some advice on jokes he was writing for a comedy routine he was working on for a medical school talent show. At the time, I wasn't sure exactly what he thought my qualifications were. Granted, I have written for a humor magazine before, but I'm certainly not a comedic genius. My performance experience is limited only to occasional skits for the many sundry organizations with which I have been affiliated over the years--no standup...not even once. And let's not even get into the editorial issues of reading another person's standup routine with no concept of their delivery. The whole thing just seemed like a bad idea.
Still, I read over his stuff Some of it was a little lewd, more than I would have expected, and the subject matter jumped all over. Medical jokes...computer jokes...sex jokes...all over the place. It was as though he had taken all these different subjects, written jokes about them, threw them into the barrels of a shotgun, fired them against the wall, and copied down what stuck. Some of the pieces were kinda mangled, but there were others that remained intact and retained their comedic merit.
Most of these were related to my friend's time as a medical student, and it started me thinking about how I would turn things that happened during my day into a comedy routine. After all, we're most able to poke fun at the things we know best.
For example:
I set my alarm at 5:30 in the morning to NPR. That early in the morning, it's the BBC World Report. The strange thing about listening to the British is that no matter what they're talking about, it always sounds dignified and proper to an American. A British news anchor could talk about the mating habits of the Australian fruit bat, and it would still sound like a Shakespeare reading to the average Joe on the street.
Later on in the car I heard an advertisement for Vermont Teddy Bears. "They're the perfect gift," the announcer said. "And they last forever." I found that terrifying. Centuries from now, when all the great cities have crumbled to dust, these bears will remain. A team of alien archaeologists will uncover a big stash of these customized bears and deduce two things: that we worshiped the great Sky Bear and that its name was MOM.
Work went well today. Only got called a dickhead twice...and hardly anything was thrown. At me anyway.
Seriously...the best thing I can compare my day with is drinking whiskey. The first few drinks don't go down easily, but by midday, it's all smooth sailing...until the hangover around 8th period. As soon as they walk through the door BAM Instant Headache. And I'm teaching in a haze of noise...when I dim the lights and turn on the overhead it's almost like a rave...only instead of ecstasy the kids are sniffing whiteout...and instead of German trance-techno, it's me rambling about atomic mass. And then, just when I think it's over and the sickness has passed...in comes ninth period. The extra double shot of Jack Daniels you really shouldn't have after a full day of drinking. And that's when I get completely sick of it all...fortunately I can recover by the next day to start the cycle again. Binge, purge, binge, purge...it's vaguely bulimic...but it's a living!
Yeah, I know. These are pretty dumb, and I still have a long way to go before I could make my big break on the standup circuit. But I need to start writing more of this stuff down. The funny stuff and not just the befuddling or frustrating stuff. (And believe me today, there really was a lot of that.) That's the big lesson. Or should I call it the punchline?
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
National Teacher Day
Apparently today is National Teacher Day. I'm not sure if the day is intended to recognize one person (though who America's one National Teacher is remains a subject of personal debate. I nominate Don Herbert...) or everyone who teaches at a regional level or greater, but in either case it's rather flattering to have a national holiday dedicated to one's profession. At the same time, a quick check online indicates that today is also World Press Freedom Day (for which I suppose all bloggers should be thankful), the feast day of St. Juvenal ("Nothing precise can be said about his life or acts, as his legend is often confused with the lives of others by the same name..."--patron saint of nobodies?), and Yom Ha'atzmaut (which translates from Hebrew as "Troubles are finally done for the Jews now that they have their own independent state). So I guess this is more of a midlevel observance than a holiday. Maybe midlevel is a stretch too, given that I only found out long after the school day had ended. And after all, would you have known if you didn't just read this?
Actually, perhaps I was mistaken in that last bit. I did receive an envelope in my mailbox from the district's regional office in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week, which I must presume to be a subsidiary celebration of National Teacher Day. Inside the envelope was what every teacher wants and needs: a novelty notepad! Hooray! And then the district in its wisdom gave us another present: state testing! Given every day, Monday through Thursday, in compliance with No Child Left Behind., these tests are designed to assess student learning and simultaneously undermine any semblance of scheduling continuity between my first period and every other one of my classes. I ask you, what is the point of distributing a unit plan outlining every single assignment and daily lesson objective if the days are going to be shifted around?
Ah well, in some ways, it's a bit of a break. I don't have to put up with teaching first period until Friday. In my other classes however, students are off the wall. Completely off the wall. In last period today for example, students were throwing things. So I basically decided that every time someone threw something, the class would stay 1 minute after the bell. So of course one kid, not a particularly dumb person, but a joker and a fool, starts sliding paper balls along the floor. And I warn him to stop, so of course he keeps going. And then he gets mad that it added an extra minute to his time. Then, he and another friend start doing a series of small passes thinking that they can get around the rule by not throwing it across the room.
My favorite part of the whole story? When I explain that he made a bad choice and that my action is a result of his decisions, he replies that it's my fault. I made him mad so he had to do it. Yes...that was my evil intent all along. It's on my business cards. The Invisible Ben: Provoking students towards greater levels of stupidity since 2003!
And speaking of stupidity, today in class as part of a discussion on atomic number I gave my students a worksheet which asked them to identify elements that shared the number of protons in their nucleus with, for example, the number of states in the U.S. Consider these extrapolations based on actual answers received.
According to my students....
More news from Underwood as events merit.
Apparently today is National Teacher Day. I'm not sure if the day is intended to recognize one person (though who America's one National Teacher is remains a subject of personal debate. I nominate Don Herbert...) or everyone who teaches at a regional level or greater, but in either case it's rather flattering to have a national holiday dedicated to one's profession. At the same time, a quick check online indicates that today is also World Press Freedom Day (for which I suppose all bloggers should be thankful), the feast day of St. Juvenal ("Nothing precise can be said about his life or acts, as his legend is often confused with the lives of others by the same name..."--patron saint of nobodies?), and Yom Ha'atzmaut (which translates from Hebrew as "Troubles are finally done for the Jews now that they have their own independent state). So I guess this is more of a midlevel observance than a holiday. Maybe midlevel is a stretch too, given that I only found out long after the school day had ended. And after all, would you have known if you didn't just read this?
Actually, perhaps I was mistaken in that last bit. I did receive an envelope in my mailbox from the district's regional office in honor of Teacher Appreciation Week, which I must presume to be a subsidiary celebration of National Teacher Day. Inside the envelope was what every teacher wants and needs: a novelty notepad! Hooray! And then the district in its wisdom gave us another present: state testing! Given every day, Monday through Thursday, in compliance with No Child Left Behind., these tests are designed to assess student learning and simultaneously undermine any semblance of scheduling continuity between my first period and every other one of my classes. I ask you, what is the point of distributing a unit plan outlining every single assignment and daily lesson objective if the days are going to be shifted around?
Ah well, in some ways, it's a bit of a break. I don't have to put up with teaching first period until Friday. In my other classes however, students are off the wall. Completely off the wall. In last period today for example, students were throwing things. So I basically decided that every time someone threw something, the class would stay 1 minute after the bell. So of course one kid, not a particularly dumb person, but a joker and a fool, starts sliding paper balls along the floor. And I warn him to stop, so of course he keeps going. And then he gets mad that it added an extra minute to his time. Then, he and another friend start doing a series of small passes thinking that they can get around the rule by not throwing it across the room.
My favorite part of the whole story? When I explain that he made a bad choice and that my action is a result of his decisions, he replies that it's my fault. I made him mad so he had to do it. Yes...that was my evil intent all along. It's on my business cards. The Invisible Ben: Provoking students towards greater levels of stupidity since 2003!
And speaking of stupidity, today in class as part of a discussion on atomic number I gave my students a worksheet which asked them to identify elements that shared the number of protons in their nucleus with, for example, the number of states in the U.S. Consider these extrapolations based on actual answers received.
According to my students....
- There are anywhere between 50 and 57 states in the United States. (It would be 50, but Alaska and Hawaii push it over the top to 52.)
- There are seven planets in the solar system. No word yet which ones are missing.
- Earth has two moons. (There might have been more, but one student realized that the sun was not a moon.)
- A pentagon has six sides. No...eight sides. No...six sides. Conversely, a hexagon has only five sides.
- A pound consists of somewhere between 5 and 12 ounces.
- There are 20 years in a decade which would of course mean that the 90s are still going strong. Break out the slapwraps! (One student also suggested that there were 100 years in a decade. And if by year, this person meant 37 days, then that might almost be true.
- A meter consists of 12 centimeters. (A common enough mistake. I know some adults with Ivy League educations who continue to perpetuate this one in their instant messenger profiles.)
More news from Underwood as events merit.
