Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Deck Chairs on the Titanic
Another three day week at Underwood High, and what a week it was! Things wrapped up especially well today thanks in no small part to the random first period assembly in the school lunchroom (because when our auditorium is not caving in on itself, it's spontaneously combusting!), the fist fights in my second period physical science class, and the malaise that oozed throughout my remaining classes. Regarding the second of these, which is clearly the most exciting of the three, I will merely reiterate that if the relative sizes of my students' brains to their egos could somehow be reversed then we would all be a lot happier and a lot less likely to care if someone said they could knock us out.
Perhaps the only good thing about my frustrations this week is that they were by no means isolated. As we reach the halfway point of the year, almost everyone on the underwood staff is beginning to feel the strain. Even the administration, which normally struggles to maintain a veneer of calm, has started to panic in the face of the upcoming standardized test season. And how does the administration vent its spleen when backed into these sorts of corners?
With misguided policy memoranda, of course!
Consider the following annotated memorandum from earlier in the week:
(memo begins)
To: Underwood Staff
From: Ms. Oldman, Principal
Date: January 30, 2006
Students are not to be out of class or denied entry. The number of students put out of class is overwhelming. Our discipline office, school police are being unfairly overburdened with trivial infractions that can be handled by teachers in the classroom.
Cutting and tardiness have both been long term problems at Underwood, so it is somewhat to be expected that these issues would be discussed in writing. Notice however that there is an additional problem: teachers throwing students out of class. I confess to having engaged in this tactic myself on a few occasions, but for the most part abstain from this particular temptation due to earlier complaints from the administration. Other teachers are far more liberal with just telling kids to get the hell out.
There is no one answer or magic wand to solve the problem of student disruption. Depending on others to handle discipline problems surely is not the answer. The answer lies within.
Fair enough sentiment, albeit mildly cliched. The problem is that one or two really disruptive students can completely undermine even the best planned lessons. And on those occasions where a student is seriously disruptive, the the answer does not lie within either the teacher (figurative interpretation) or the classroom (literal interpretation). That's when it's time to obtain outside support and the school should be providing that. But perhaps this memo provides some hints. Let's find out, shall we? (Why not?)
When the announcement is made to close classroom doors, please do not close the door in students' faces. We ask that you use good judgment and allow those rushing to get in and then close the door. Talk to your students in reference to your expectations as to being on time and appropraite behavior. let them know that you will close that door, assign detention and contact their parent regarding their lateness to class or disruption.
Ok. I'm not sure where to begin the list:
1. The announcement referenced in that first sentence occurs only half the time and there is no consistency as to how late in the period the call to close the doors is made.
2. Teachers are now being told that even after closing the doors, they should let students in, even if they are late.
3. The emphasis on not "closing the door in students' faces" suggests that the administrators and disciplinarians are believing all of the students who are coming to them with stories about the mean teachers who tried to keep them out of class. But things may not be as clear cut as that. Consider last week when I had a student show up between 5 and 10 minutes after the announcement to close the door. I asked him to present a note...he didn't have one. I asked him to go get one. A few minutes later, he was back...still with no note. Eventually, with 20 minutes left in the period, he has a note from the ninth grade administrative offices. He comes in, doesn't pick up his class work and proceeds to walk around, chat with other students, cuss me out, and then, after pulling down and reaffixing my wall map, explain how it was MY fault that he wasn't doing his work because I tried to kick him out and didn't give him the work when he finally came in the room. There are two sides to every story, and I fear the administration, unable to maintain stability in the hallways, is more likely than not willing to accept the student version on face value and place blame squarely on the teacher's shoulders.
4. I mentioned previously that a lot of teachers enjoy throwing kids out. The reason for this is that often this is the most effective consequence they have discovered for truly disruptive students. Even putting them in the hallway for a minute or two will force the majority of students to calm down, and getting them out of sight eliminates the issue to an extent with the remaining kids. Does the administration think we are NOT already talking to our kids about expectations re: punctuality and behavior? If the kids cut the detentions they suggest we assign, will the administration follow through with support then or will teachers still be out in the cold? And what about parent phone calls...where parents, like administrators, will be more likely to trust their son or daughter's version of events than the teacher?
5. Conclusion of the paragraph: The administration is cutting off support so far as dealing with hall swept or disruptive students is concerned. Teachers...you're on your own.
Continuing with the memo...
Pointers
* Ask to speak to the student alone after class and express your dissatsifaction with their behavior and what you expect. Be stern but caring.
A well meaning idea, but more likely than not, the really disruptive students could care less what you have to say to them, no matter how stern or caring you are! Keeping such students even one minute beyond the bell can be a struggle. I've found the number of profanities per sentence increases at a near exponential rate with each minute I keep a student past 3:00.
* Use your prep period and visit the classroom of a colleague.
And this will help me...how? Most of my colleagues have similar discipline issues whether they admit it or not. Not to mention the fact that midyear is not exactly the easiest time for a complete turnaround so far as rules, consequences, and discipline are concerned should my visit inspire a revolutionary new classroom management scheme.
* Attend professional development offered by the District on classroom management.
Because nobody knows how to handle classroom disruptions more than bureaucrats downtown who never have to deal with students cussing them out or throwing things at each other!
* Do not sit at the desk. Stay on your feet, keep a stool or chair directly in front of the students.
This is exactly the sort of advice that would be offered at the aforementioned District workshop. While again valid in theory, this is not the surefire cure for classroom management woes that people are desparately seeking.
* Be consistent, be well-planned.
More fortune-cookie style wisdom from the well-meaning, but ultimately irrelevant school of advice. Ultimately, I could be the best lesson planner in the world and as consistent as the tides...but all it takes is one student who actively wants do destroy the lesson and everything can still fall apart. Even the most consistent of discipline policies will fail if students do not respect the consequences.
* ASK FOR HELP
I'm going to leave this one for later...you'll see why.
Call the Academy Leader or the main office if a student needs to be removed for serious disruption. If there is no answer, give a child a note and send the student to the Academy Leader, main office and a secretary will get in touch with the Academy Leader or School Police. DO NOT CALL SCHOOL POLICE.
The academy leaders and main office are overburdened the majority of the time with administrative business ranging from phone calls, parent visits, or otherwise running the school. Not to mention the fact that the academy leaders are also teachers who may not always been available when my students are acting out. And let's not even get into issues surrounding sending a student with a note to deal with discipline issues. Consider the increased time involved if I have a fight in my room like I did today and need help to break the students up and get them out of my room.
Before: Fight breaks out, teacher calls school polic, police are sent to the classroom.
After: Fight breaks out, teacher writes out a note, finds student to take note and sends them to main office, main office contacts school police/academy leader, police are sent to the classroom
Widen the communications loop and it becomes easier for something to go wrong along the way. What if the main office is otherwise occupied. Precious time is wasted looking for an academy leader or other support personnel. Not to mention the time spent actually WRITING the note or trying to get the note where it needs to go when chaos is breaking out all around you.
But my favorite line...the best line of the whole thing---DO NOT CALL SCHOOL POLICE
Remember: ASK FOR HELP
BUT: DO NOT CALL SCHOOL POLICE
Wrapping up now:
It is my desire to support each teacher and work to ensure that teachers can teach and our students can learn. We will continue to work hard to make Underwood High a place where students and staff will enjoy coming to each day.
A noble sentiment to conclude the memo, but one that is completely contradicted by the text of the memo. Teachers need support from the administration to create and enforce a uniform school wide discipline policy covering everything from tardiness to cell phone use. And in the event that a student or two get to be overly disruptive and normal disciplinary consequences prove ineffective, there should be some higher recourse...one that will not be contradicted by the next person up the chain of command.
The memo remained the subject of conversation for the entirety of the week. The teachers were completely befuddled by apparent contradictions in its message and the seeming abandonment of any semblance of administrative support to clear the hallways or deal with classroom disruptions. One colleague compared it to a memo asking to "reorganize lifeboats on the Titanic": ultimately a means of showing how busy the captain has been attending to minor details when the whole ship is sinking.
I found the metaphor particularly apt.
Another three day week at Underwood High, and what a week it was! Things wrapped up especially well today thanks in no small part to the random first period assembly in the school lunchroom (because when our auditorium is not caving in on itself, it's spontaneously combusting!), the fist fights in my second period physical science class, and the malaise that oozed throughout my remaining classes. Regarding the second of these, which is clearly the most exciting of the three, I will merely reiterate that if the relative sizes of my students' brains to their egos could somehow be reversed then we would all be a lot happier and a lot less likely to care if someone said they could knock us out.
Perhaps the only good thing about my frustrations this week is that they were by no means isolated. As we reach the halfway point of the year, almost everyone on the underwood staff is beginning to feel the strain. Even the administration, which normally struggles to maintain a veneer of calm, has started to panic in the face of the upcoming standardized test season. And how does the administration vent its spleen when backed into these sorts of corners?
With misguided policy memoranda, of course!
Consider the following annotated memorandum from earlier in the week:
(memo begins)
To: Underwood Staff
From: Ms. Oldman, Principal
Date: January 30, 2006
Students are not to be out of class or denied entry. The number of students put out of class is overwhelming. Our discipline office, school police are being unfairly overburdened with trivial infractions that can be handled by teachers in the classroom.
Cutting and tardiness have both been long term problems at Underwood, so it is somewhat to be expected that these issues would be discussed in writing. Notice however that there is an additional problem: teachers throwing students out of class. I confess to having engaged in this tactic myself on a few occasions, but for the most part abstain from this particular temptation due to earlier complaints from the administration. Other teachers are far more liberal with just telling kids to get the hell out.
There is no one answer or magic wand to solve the problem of student disruption. Depending on others to handle discipline problems surely is not the answer. The answer lies within.
Fair enough sentiment, albeit mildly cliched. The problem is that one or two really disruptive students can completely undermine even the best planned lessons. And on those occasions where a student is seriously disruptive, the the answer does not lie within either the teacher (figurative interpretation) or the classroom (literal interpretation). That's when it's time to obtain outside support and the school should be providing that. But perhaps this memo provides some hints. Let's find out, shall we? (Why not?)
When the announcement is made to close classroom doors, please do not close the door in students' faces. We ask that you use good judgment and allow those rushing to get in and then close the door. Talk to your students in reference to your expectations as to being on time and appropraite behavior. let them know that you will close that door, assign detention and contact their parent regarding their lateness to class or disruption.
Ok. I'm not sure where to begin the list:
1. The announcement referenced in that first sentence occurs only half the time and there is no consistency as to how late in the period the call to close the doors is made.
2. Teachers are now being told that even after closing the doors, they should let students in, even if they are late.
3. The emphasis on not "closing the door in students' faces" suggests that the administrators and disciplinarians are believing all of the students who are coming to them with stories about the mean teachers who tried to keep them out of class. But things may not be as clear cut as that. Consider last week when I had a student show up between 5 and 10 minutes after the announcement to close the door. I asked him to present a note...he didn't have one. I asked him to go get one. A few minutes later, he was back...still with no note. Eventually, with 20 minutes left in the period, he has a note from the ninth grade administrative offices. He comes in, doesn't pick up his class work and proceeds to walk around, chat with other students, cuss me out, and then, after pulling down and reaffixing my wall map, explain how it was MY fault that he wasn't doing his work because I tried to kick him out and didn't give him the work when he finally came in the room. There are two sides to every story, and I fear the administration, unable to maintain stability in the hallways, is more likely than not willing to accept the student version on face value and place blame squarely on the teacher's shoulders.
4. I mentioned previously that a lot of teachers enjoy throwing kids out. The reason for this is that often this is the most effective consequence they have discovered for truly disruptive students. Even putting them in the hallway for a minute or two will force the majority of students to calm down, and getting them out of sight eliminates the issue to an extent with the remaining kids. Does the administration think we are NOT already talking to our kids about expectations re: punctuality and behavior? If the kids cut the detentions they suggest we assign, will the administration follow through with support then or will teachers still be out in the cold? And what about parent phone calls...where parents, like administrators, will be more likely to trust their son or daughter's version of events than the teacher?
5. Conclusion of the paragraph: The administration is cutting off support so far as dealing with hall swept or disruptive students is concerned. Teachers...you're on your own.
Continuing with the memo...
Pointers
* Ask to speak to the student alone after class and express your dissatsifaction with their behavior and what you expect. Be stern but caring.
A well meaning idea, but more likely than not, the really disruptive students could care less what you have to say to them, no matter how stern or caring you are! Keeping such students even one minute beyond the bell can be a struggle. I've found the number of profanities per sentence increases at a near exponential rate with each minute I keep a student past 3:00.
* Use your prep period and visit the classroom of a colleague.
And this will help me...how? Most of my colleagues have similar discipline issues whether they admit it or not. Not to mention the fact that midyear is not exactly the easiest time for a complete turnaround so far as rules, consequences, and discipline are concerned should my visit inspire a revolutionary new classroom management scheme.
* Attend professional development offered by the District on classroom management.
Because nobody knows how to handle classroom disruptions more than bureaucrats downtown who never have to deal with students cussing them out or throwing things at each other!
* Do not sit at the desk. Stay on your feet, keep a stool or chair directly in front of the students.
This is exactly the sort of advice that would be offered at the aforementioned District workshop. While again valid in theory, this is not the surefire cure for classroom management woes that people are desparately seeking.
* Be consistent, be well-planned.
More fortune-cookie style wisdom from the well-meaning, but ultimately irrelevant school of advice. Ultimately, I could be the best lesson planner in the world and as consistent as the tides...but all it takes is one student who actively wants do destroy the lesson and everything can still fall apart. Even the most consistent of discipline policies will fail if students do not respect the consequences.
* ASK FOR HELP
I'm going to leave this one for later...you'll see why.
Call the Academy Leader or the main office if a student needs to be removed for serious disruption. If there is no answer, give a child a note and send the student to the Academy Leader, main office and a secretary will get in touch with the Academy Leader or School Police. DO NOT CALL SCHOOL POLICE.
The academy leaders and main office are overburdened the majority of the time with administrative business ranging from phone calls, parent visits, or otherwise running the school. Not to mention the fact that the academy leaders are also teachers who may not always been available when my students are acting out. And let's not even get into issues surrounding sending a student with a note to deal with discipline issues. Consider the increased time involved if I have a fight in my room like I did today and need help to break the students up and get them out of my room.
Before: Fight breaks out, teacher calls school polic, police are sent to the classroom.
After: Fight breaks out, teacher writes out a note, finds student to take note and sends them to main office, main office contacts school police/academy leader, police are sent to the classroom
Widen the communications loop and it becomes easier for something to go wrong along the way. What if the main office is otherwise occupied. Precious time is wasted looking for an academy leader or other support personnel. Not to mention the time spent actually WRITING the note or trying to get the note where it needs to go when chaos is breaking out all around you.
But my favorite line...the best line of the whole thing---DO NOT CALL SCHOOL POLICE
Remember: ASK FOR HELP
BUT: DO NOT CALL SCHOOL POLICE
Wrapping up now:
It is my desire to support each teacher and work to ensure that teachers can teach and our students can learn. We will continue to work hard to make Underwood High a place where students and staff will enjoy coming to each day.
A noble sentiment to conclude the memo, but one that is completely contradicted by the text of the memo. Teachers need support from the administration to create and enforce a uniform school wide discipline policy covering everything from tardiness to cell phone use. And in the event that a student or two get to be overly disruptive and normal disciplinary consequences prove ineffective, there should be some higher recourse...one that will not be contradicted by the next person up the chain of command.
The memo remained the subject of conversation for the entirety of the week. The teachers were completely befuddled by apparent contradictions in its message and the seeming abandonment of any semblance of administrative support to clear the hallways or deal with classroom disruptions. One colleague compared it to a memo asking to "reorganize lifeboats on the Titanic": ultimately a means of showing how busy the captain has been attending to minor details when the whole ship is sinking.
I found the metaphor particularly apt.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Wikipedia Blooper Alert: The Diffraction Grating
It's time once again for one of this blog's copyrighted features: Wikipedia Bloopers!
This is where we set aside time to sift through the vast sea of information on everyone's favorite online encyclopedia and look for contradictions, falsehoods, and other assorted misinformation for you to enjoy.
This week's installment?
The diffraction grating: A commonly used piece of optical equipment in physics labs, this finely grooved surface is used to bend or spread light waves that pass through it, allowing for all manner of interesting experiments. Yes, from spectroscopy to exploring the wave-particle duality of light, everyone loves diffraction gratings.
But who invented this marvelous piece of technology? Wikipedia has the answer!
The main article on diffraction gratings indicates that German scientist and solar linesman extraordinaire Joseph von Fraunhofer invented the first diffraction grating in 1821. The article on Fraunhofer confirms this fact and indicates his role in transforming spectroscopy from a qualitative to a quantitative science. (It also has some really nice pictures of his famous spectral lines.)
However, treat these articles with a measure of caution for there is more to the tale. For you see, I recently learned from a friend attending classes at the University of Pennsylvania that the physics and mathematics departments were housed at a building named after a gentleman named David Rittenhouse. Rittenhouse was born the same year as George Washington (1732), and besides discovering that Venus had an atmosphere and serving as the first director of the U.S. Mint, is listed in his Wikipedia article as inventing the diffraction grating.
Given Rittenhouse's death in 1796, this discovery would predate Fraunhofer by at least two full decades.
Honestly, I'm not sure which side of this optical dilemma to favor. Fraunhofer is the heavy favorite of all the professional spectrometry fans out there...but the patriot in me says we need more American innovation in our history books.
Perhaps Wikipedia will resolve the dilemma for me eventually by retracting the offending pseudo-fact from the appropriate article.
Until then, keep your eyes peeled. If there are bloopers to be discovered in Wikipedia...they will be reported.
It's time once again for one of this blog's copyrighted features: Wikipedia Bloopers!
This is where we set aside time to sift through the vast sea of information on everyone's favorite online encyclopedia and look for contradictions, falsehoods, and other assorted misinformation for you to enjoy.
This week's installment?
The diffraction grating: A commonly used piece of optical equipment in physics labs, this finely grooved surface is used to bend or spread light waves that pass through it, allowing for all manner of interesting experiments. Yes, from spectroscopy to exploring the wave-particle duality of light, everyone loves diffraction gratings.
But who invented this marvelous piece of technology? Wikipedia has the answer!
The main article on diffraction gratings indicates that German scientist and solar linesman extraordinaire Joseph von Fraunhofer invented the first diffraction grating in 1821. The article on Fraunhofer confirms this fact and indicates his role in transforming spectroscopy from a qualitative to a quantitative science. (It also has some really nice pictures of his famous spectral lines.)
However, treat these articles with a measure of caution for there is more to the tale. For you see, I recently learned from a friend attending classes at the University of Pennsylvania that the physics and mathematics departments were housed at a building named after a gentleman named David Rittenhouse. Rittenhouse was born the same year as George Washington (1732), and besides discovering that Venus had an atmosphere and serving as the first director of the U.S. Mint, is listed in his Wikipedia article as inventing the diffraction grating.
Given Rittenhouse's death in 1796, this discovery would predate Fraunhofer by at least two full decades.
Honestly, I'm not sure which side of this optical dilemma to favor. Fraunhofer is the heavy favorite of all the professional spectrometry fans out there...but the patriot in me says we need more American innovation in our history books.
Perhaps Wikipedia will resolve the dilemma for me eventually by retracting the offending pseudo-fact from the appropriate article.
Until then, keep your eyes peeled. If there are bloopers to be discovered in Wikipedia...they will be reported.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
And all is right as right can be!
This already wild and crazy week just got wilder and crazier this morning when the school decided to resurrect the Underwood High School attendance initiative, a.k.a. "The 90 Percent Club." The basic idea is simple. Currently, the attendance rate at Underwood is around 75%. Knowing that in a school of approximately 2,000 students, 500 or so will be absent on any given day...well, it makes you think, and it makes my principal and the administrators downtown concerned. So what did they do? Well, besides harassing the various homeroom teachers to make more phone calls and get on their students' respective cases, they thought it best to resurrect the school's attendance initiative, the so-called "90% club."
The idea was trotted out last year, to only moderate success, and in theory it makes sense. The students who attend school 90% of the time become eligible for a wide range of rewards, including gift certificates, invitations to dances and parties, and so forth. This year, the school even forged partnerships with local business leaders to help out with prizes and to kick off the whole she-bang, decided to hold an assembly today to explain what was going on.
Unfortunately, the whole assembly was a model of inefficiency for several reasons. First off, no one knew exactly who was scheduled to attend until this morning. Since we do not have an auditorium and there is not enough room to fit everyone in the gym, there would have to be two assemblies. So it was decided that in the morning all the classes on the third floor would go and in the afternoon, the freshmen on floors one and two would go to a special encore presentation. But to keep other students who were not supposed to attend from cutting class or begging their teachers to go to the gym, they were left completely in the dark.
But ok, let's assume for a second that due to word of mouth the teachers on the appropriate floors were eventually notified of what was going on. Time rolls around to head to the first session and because I teach juniors on the third floor in the morning, I get to take my class downstairs. Unfortunately because of a desire to maintain secrecy, there was no coordination or attempt to stagger which classes would enter when, so a rather significant human traffic stoppage occurred in the hallway entering the gym. We must have waited a good 15-20 minutes to get in...I had colleagues who stood in front of the gym for nearly half an hour waiting for the teeming mass of students to cram their way into our gym, which had been specially set up for the event. They even broke out the good tarp to cover the basketball court.
Things finally settle down and the assembly kicks off. The principal greets the kids and kicks off this exciting event, which it should be noted is aimed at motivating the students and getting them enthusiastic about school, by browbeating the kids about how poor their attendance is and its negative effect on their academic performance. The fact that she had a good point did not mean her lecture served to get the kids suddenly more enthusiastic about coming to school. But perhaps enthusiasm was better served by the next speaker, the head of one of our local business partners who started off the meeting by thanking (who else?) his Lord and Savior...without whom he would not be here today.
Yes. You read that right. The 90% club was endorsed by Jesus. It had no chance of failing now. This thing was going to work, despite being the most blatant encroachment of religion at Underwood since someone bolted a "Prayer Box" to the wall in front of the main office.
So after some of that old time religion, he went on to give a rambling talk about everything from his family, the importance of education, his willingness to employ any student in the room who had a resume on them at the time, the fact that only true "ballers" or "hustlers" could "ride with the 90 percent club," and of course, lest we forget, the sheer magnitude of the prizes his business was sponsoring. And I don't care what you think...waving a fistful of $100 bills around added an extra touch of class! (Not to mention a gratuitous, albeit inadvertent Leone reference)
Add in some attendance themed rapping, generic dancing, and the school's drumline playing its one signature song ("Jump On It) for a good twenty minutes, and you've got yourself an assembly. Oh and scattered in there were some brief mentions of how important it was to come to school, and so forth.
The whole affair lasted about an hour and a half. I actually did not get to attend the entirety of the first assembly because I taught a second period freshman class and had to leave after a mere fifteen minutes in the gym. (Which of course worked fine for me, but less well for the kids on the fourth floor who had third floor classes the following period and had no clue where the teachers had gone...let's hear it for clear communication! and backup plans!) Fortunately, I got to go to the freshman assembly in the afternoon, which killed off my last two periods almost entirely.
I say almost because we had a basketball game at home this afternoon, which meant the gym had to be emptied out around 2:40 so the team could warm up and the chairs could be cleaned out. Now, logically, it would make sense to just dismiss the kids directly from the gym, and this is what all of the ninth grade teachers had assumed would be going on since no one in their right mind would force all the freshmen in the school to sit in one place for an hour and a half, rev them up with music and dancing, and then force them back on teachers for only twenty minutes.
Which, I suppose only goes to show something about the relative mental state of the administration. Yes, yes...I know that they were only following the rules, and the rules say that students are meant to remain in the building until exactly 3:00 PM, the end of the school day. But teaching freshmen is hard enough as it is. Teaching them ninth period, doubly so. What the administration forced all of us to do this afternoon was bloody madness. The kids were bouncing around like crickets on crack...yelling, running around, going in and out of classrooms. It was miserable all around.
But you know what, it would be worthwhile if the kids got something out of the assembly. Unfortunately, when I asked a few of my quieter students what they thought, their reply was soberingly realistic: "The kids who want to stay home are still going to stay home."
Again, it's a matter of motivation...without an incentive, either for good or for ill that the students respect there is no way that we can encourage them to change their behavior and do the right thing. And all the assemblies in the world can't change that.
***
Between the two assemblies, which as predicted killed off 3 out of my 5 classes and rendered the other two rather unproductive, I had a chance to talk with a few of the student teachers in the history department who were complaining about the relevance of their graduate school courses.
"Stop complaining," I said. "You want to know the truth? The school where you attend is one of the best in the country, and the methods and systems you are learning in class will be both applicable and relevant to your classrooms both at Underwood and beyond. The people who teach your education classes are competent, intelligent educators with a keen insight into pedagogy and their advice will help make your classes a success. As much of a success as our school's twenty-five book challenge literacy initiative. Or the school's attempts to cut down lateness through hall sweeps. Or our shirt-tucking policy! Or our policy against students wearing hats or bringing cell phones! Or this year's attendance initiative! Or last year's attendance initiative! So you see? Those education classes have a point after all...all is right with the world."
One of the teachers said that my little speech was one of the most cynical things he had ever heard. Cynical perhaps, but also accurate, or at least that's how it looks from my classroom at Underwood High.
This already wild and crazy week just got wilder and crazier this morning when the school decided to resurrect the Underwood High School attendance initiative, a.k.a. "The 90 Percent Club." The basic idea is simple. Currently, the attendance rate at Underwood is around 75%. Knowing that in a school of approximately 2,000 students, 500 or so will be absent on any given day...well, it makes you think, and it makes my principal and the administrators downtown concerned. So what did they do? Well, besides harassing the various homeroom teachers to make more phone calls and get on their students' respective cases, they thought it best to resurrect the school's attendance initiative, the so-called "90% club."
The idea was trotted out last year, to only moderate success, and in theory it makes sense. The students who attend school 90% of the time become eligible for a wide range of rewards, including gift certificates, invitations to dances and parties, and so forth. This year, the school even forged partnerships with local business leaders to help out with prizes and to kick off the whole she-bang, decided to hold an assembly today to explain what was going on.
Unfortunately, the whole assembly was a model of inefficiency for several reasons. First off, no one knew exactly who was scheduled to attend until this morning. Since we do not have an auditorium and there is not enough room to fit everyone in the gym, there would have to be two assemblies. So it was decided that in the morning all the classes on the third floor would go and in the afternoon, the freshmen on floors one and two would go to a special encore presentation. But to keep other students who were not supposed to attend from cutting class or begging their teachers to go to the gym, they were left completely in the dark.
But ok, let's assume for a second that due to word of mouth the teachers on the appropriate floors were eventually notified of what was going on. Time rolls around to head to the first session and because I teach juniors on the third floor in the morning, I get to take my class downstairs. Unfortunately because of a desire to maintain secrecy, there was no coordination or attempt to stagger which classes would enter when, so a rather significant human traffic stoppage occurred in the hallway entering the gym. We must have waited a good 15-20 minutes to get in...I had colleagues who stood in front of the gym for nearly half an hour waiting for the teeming mass of students to cram their way into our gym, which had been specially set up for the event. They even broke out the good tarp to cover the basketball court.
Things finally settle down and the assembly kicks off. The principal greets the kids and kicks off this exciting event, which it should be noted is aimed at motivating the students and getting them enthusiastic about school, by browbeating the kids about how poor their attendance is and its negative effect on their academic performance. The fact that she had a good point did not mean her lecture served to get the kids suddenly more enthusiastic about coming to school. But perhaps enthusiasm was better served by the next speaker, the head of one of our local business partners who started off the meeting by thanking (who else?) his Lord and Savior...without whom he would not be here today.
Yes. You read that right. The 90% club was endorsed by Jesus. It had no chance of failing now. This thing was going to work, despite being the most blatant encroachment of religion at Underwood since someone bolted a "Prayer Box" to the wall in front of the main office.
So after some of that old time religion, he went on to give a rambling talk about everything from his family, the importance of education, his willingness to employ any student in the room who had a resume on them at the time, the fact that only true "ballers" or "hustlers" could "ride with the 90 percent club," and of course, lest we forget, the sheer magnitude of the prizes his business was sponsoring. And I don't care what you think...waving a fistful of $100 bills around added an extra touch of class! (Not to mention a gratuitous, albeit inadvertent Leone reference)
Add in some attendance themed rapping, generic dancing, and the school's drumline playing its one signature song ("Jump On It) for a good twenty minutes, and you've got yourself an assembly. Oh and scattered in there were some brief mentions of how important it was to come to school, and so forth.
The whole affair lasted about an hour and a half. I actually did not get to attend the entirety of the first assembly because I taught a second period freshman class and had to leave after a mere fifteen minutes in the gym. (Which of course worked fine for me, but less well for the kids on the fourth floor who had third floor classes the following period and had no clue where the teachers had gone...let's hear it for clear communication! and backup plans!) Fortunately, I got to go to the freshman assembly in the afternoon, which killed off my last two periods almost entirely.
I say almost because we had a basketball game at home this afternoon, which meant the gym had to be emptied out around 2:40 so the team could warm up and the chairs could be cleaned out. Now, logically, it would make sense to just dismiss the kids directly from the gym, and this is what all of the ninth grade teachers had assumed would be going on since no one in their right mind would force all the freshmen in the school to sit in one place for an hour and a half, rev them up with music and dancing, and then force them back on teachers for only twenty minutes.
Which, I suppose only goes to show something about the relative mental state of the administration. Yes, yes...I know that they were only following the rules, and the rules say that students are meant to remain in the building until exactly 3:00 PM, the end of the school day. But teaching freshmen is hard enough as it is. Teaching them ninth period, doubly so. What the administration forced all of us to do this afternoon was bloody madness. The kids were bouncing around like crickets on crack...yelling, running around, going in and out of classrooms. It was miserable all around.
But you know what, it would be worthwhile if the kids got something out of the assembly. Unfortunately, when I asked a few of my quieter students what they thought, their reply was soberingly realistic: "The kids who want to stay home are still going to stay home."
Again, it's a matter of motivation...without an incentive, either for good or for ill that the students respect there is no way that we can encourage them to change their behavior and do the right thing. And all the assemblies in the world can't change that.
***
Between the two assemblies, which as predicted killed off 3 out of my 5 classes and rendered the other two rather unproductive, I had a chance to talk with a few of the student teachers in the history department who were complaining about the relevance of their graduate school courses.
"Stop complaining," I said. "You want to know the truth? The school where you attend is one of the best in the country, and the methods and systems you are learning in class will be both applicable and relevant to your classrooms both at Underwood and beyond. The people who teach your education classes are competent, intelligent educators with a keen insight into pedagogy and their advice will help make your classes a success. As much of a success as our school's twenty-five book challenge literacy initiative. Or the school's attempts to cut down lateness through hall sweeps. Or our shirt-tucking policy! Or our policy against students wearing hats or bringing cell phones! Or this year's attendance initiative! Or last year's attendance initiative! So you see? Those education classes have a point after all...all is right with the world."
One of the teachers said that my little speech was one of the most cynical things he had ever heard. Cynical perhaps, but also accurate, or at least that's how it looks from my classroom at Underwood High.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
She Can Taste Music!
Excerpt from the first chemistry homework assignment of the third marking period:
1. Why is the hydrogen molecule more stable than the individual atoms that form it?
a hydrogen molecule is more stable because each H atom has a shared pair of electrons.
2. What is created when two atomic orbitals overlap?
Green
3. What happens to the potential energy of tow atoms as they approach each other to form a covalent bond?
Blue
4. What name is given to the distance between two atoms in a covalent bond at which the potential energy is minimum?
Purple
5. List three examples of substances that have covalent bonds.
Orange
Setting aside for the moment the fact that:
* Question 3 would traditionally require an answer involving an intransitive verb
* Question 5 asks for three examples of substances
* Question 2's answer would only hold true if the orbitals in question were blue and yellow respectively
* Question 4's reply provides sparse detail regarding energy differentials or molecular distance.
I have to wonder a few things:
First (1), is it possible my students are beginning to suffer from early onset synesthesia due to sitting for hours in Underwood High School's asbestos-filled classrooms?
Second (2), if this is not the case, then what the hell was this kid thinking (or smoking) when she turned in this paper?
Third (and final), would you believe this was from my eleventh grade HONORS chemistry class?
Excerpt from the first chemistry homework assignment of the third marking period:
1. Why is the hydrogen molecule more stable than the individual atoms that form it?
a hydrogen molecule is more stable because each H atom has a shared pair of electrons.
2. What is created when two atomic orbitals overlap?
Green
3. What happens to the potential energy of tow atoms as they approach each other to form a covalent bond?
Blue
4. What name is given to the distance between two atoms in a covalent bond at which the potential energy is minimum?
Purple
5. List three examples of substances that have covalent bonds.
Orange
Setting aside for the moment the fact that:
* Question 3 would traditionally require an answer involving an intransitive verb
* Question 5 asks for three examples of substances
* Question 2's answer would only hold true if the orbitals in question were blue and yellow respectively
* Question 4's reply provides sparse detail regarding energy differentials or molecular distance.
I have to wonder a few things:
First (1), is it possible my students are beginning to suffer from early onset synesthesia due to sitting for hours in Underwood High School's asbestos-filled classrooms?
Second (2), if this is not the case, then what the hell was this kid thinking (or smoking) when she turned in this paper?
Third (and final), would you believe this was from my eleventh grade HONORS chemistry class?
Monday, January 23, 2006
Midterm Musings
Because people wanted to know...yes, I curved the midterms.
Yes...the open book, open note, group midterms.
And yes, I made it only count for each student if it would not hurt their averages.
So? I'm not lowering my standards.
Heck no!
That's crazy talk.
(sigh)
Because people wanted to know...yes, I curved the midterms.
Yes...the open book, open note, group midterms.
And yes, I made it only count for each student if it would not hurt their averages.
So? I'm not lowering my standards.
Heck no!
That's crazy talk.
(sigh)
Elevator Etiquette
Sandwiched as it is between two abbreviated weeks, the first week of the third marking period seemed somewhat anticlimactic today at Underwood High School. The grades are getting squared away for the semester, and kids and teachers alike are holding the breaths and getting ready for the plunge into the spring testing season.
Today had its interesting moments, including a reporter from a major metropolitan newspaper visiting my classroom, but I had a curious experience in my apartment buiding on the way home.
Tired after returning home around 7:30 this evening, I enter the elevator and push my button. A second later, a guy gets in behind me and says "12 please."
But by the time he said it, I had already pressed the button for my floor and slumped somewhat into the corner of the elevator.
Now normally, in this sort of a situation, the other party would press the button for his floor and everything would be jake.
Instead, the guy gives me a stern look and says "Thanks."
A few seconds later, we get to his floor, and he looks at me and tells me to have a good night. I thank him, but the unspoken understanding is that neither of us really mean what we're saying.
So maybe I'm reading too much into this, but i'm trying to figure out who was being the arrogant jerk here:
Me...for not pushing the button for the other person's floor when he got on to the elevator?
Other guy...for his snide "thanks" and the expectation that the other guy on the elevator should push the button in the first place?
Both of us?
Ultimately, I guess this whole meditation is relatively pointless except for experts in etiquette. But that's what having a blog is all about, right?
The right to be pointless!
More substantive posts forthcoming.
Sandwiched as it is between two abbreviated weeks, the first week of the third marking period seemed somewhat anticlimactic today at Underwood High School. The grades are getting squared away for the semester, and kids and teachers alike are holding the breaths and getting ready for the plunge into the spring testing season.
Today had its interesting moments, including a reporter from a major metropolitan newspaper visiting my classroom, but I had a curious experience in my apartment buiding on the way home.
Tired after returning home around 7:30 this evening, I enter the elevator and push my button. A second later, a guy gets in behind me and says "12 please."
But by the time he said it, I had already pressed the button for my floor and slumped somewhat into the corner of the elevator.
Now normally, in this sort of a situation, the other party would press the button for his floor and everything would be jake.
Instead, the guy gives me a stern look and says "Thanks."
A few seconds later, we get to his floor, and he looks at me and tells me to have a good night. I thank him, but the unspoken understanding is that neither of us really mean what we're saying.
So maybe I'm reading too much into this, but i'm trying to figure out who was being the arrogant jerk here:
Me...for not pushing the button for the other person's floor when he got on to the elevator?
Other guy...for his snide "thanks" and the expectation that the other guy on the elevator should push the button in the first place?
Both of us?
Ultimately, I guess this whole meditation is relatively pointless except for experts in etiquette. But that's what having a blog is all about, right?
The right to be pointless!
More substantive posts forthcoming.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
A New Low
The end of the marking period is here. Tomorrow, I give my students midterms in both my physical science and chemistry classes. The midterm is going to be open note, open book, and groups. It consists of 50 multiple choice questions and will count for two test grades.
The reason behind these accomodations? The overarching idea is that it will provide students with one last shot to earn a strong grade, pushing grades that are on the borderline between D and F towards passing.
And why is this so important?
Consider the following disheartening statistic: As of right now, my penultimate class of the day does not have a single passing student. 37 students in my gradebook. All F's. All failures.
They chose not to do the extra credit project. They chose not to do their homework or classwork. And now they are all failing.
Every single one. Failing.
And they take comfort in their failures. After all if every student in a class is failing, the true failure lies not with the pupil, but with the teacher.
Or so they'll tell their families. And so I'll hear again and again.
Failure upon failure. 20+ missed assignments for most students. And they blame me for not doing their work. Or not studying. Or treating the class like a joke.
But hopefully that changes after tomorrow...at least a little bit. Perhaps I can tip the balance with this midterm.
I sure hope so.
I'm tired of failures.
The end of the marking period is here. Tomorrow, I give my students midterms in both my physical science and chemistry classes. The midterm is going to be open note, open book, and groups. It consists of 50 multiple choice questions and will count for two test grades.
The reason behind these accomodations? The overarching idea is that it will provide students with one last shot to earn a strong grade, pushing grades that are on the borderline between D and F towards passing.
And why is this so important?
Consider the following disheartening statistic: As of right now, my penultimate class of the day does not have a single passing student. 37 students in my gradebook. All F's. All failures.
They chose not to do the extra credit project. They chose not to do their homework or classwork. And now they are all failing.
Every single one. Failing.
And they take comfort in their failures. After all if every student in a class is failing, the true failure lies not with the pupil, but with the teacher.
Or so they'll tell their families. And so I'll hear again and again.
Failure upon failure. 20+ missed assignments for most students. And they blame me for not doing their work. Or not studying. Or treating the class like a joke.
But hopefully that changes after tomorrow...at least a little bit. Perhaps I can tip the balance with this midterm.
I sure hope so.
I'm tired of failures.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
The Greatest Ben of All?
"Genius without education," someone once said, "is like silver in the mine."
The speaker in question, born three centuries ago today in Boston clearly recognized the importance of education at an early age. The seventeenth son of a tallow chandler, he would, through a combination of education, discipline, a relentless drive towards self-improvement, and a little bit of luck, cultivate a genius that would echo through the ages. He would become more than another colonial wit or a humorist with access to a printing press. Author, statesman, inventor, ambassador, and civic leader...in his time he was all of these things, becoming America's first Renaissance man in a time which later histories seem to suggest was full of great men.
Here was a man who would be comfortable in any salon in Europe, dispensing sage advice on subjects ranging from thrift ("If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.") to etiquette ("Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others."). At the same time however, he was capable of writing bawdy tracts on the selection of a mistress or satires on the division of large empires into small ones. He devised our modern method of describing electric charges as either positive or negative and created practical inventions that we still make use of today.
And he was a human being with human failings. And he recognized those failings and tried hard to make himself a better person. After all, as he wrote: "Each year one vicious habit discarded, in time might make the worst of us good."
Growing up, it was only natural to feel some affinity with him, if for no other reason than because we shared the same first name, but as I've gotten older, I think my respect for his philosophy, his general attitude toward life, has only increased.
"If you would not be forgotten," he once noted, "either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing."
He certainly did both in his lifetime.
Reading over this post, I wonder how my students would respond if I mentioned that last quote to them tomorrow. To many, I fear that Benjamin Franklin is just another on a long list of white guys who happen to be enshrined on American currency. I'll have to remedy that when we get to our chapter on electricity, in between anecdotes regarding Tesla's death ray and bad puns involving Georg Ohm.
In any event, happy 300th birthday, Mr. Franklin. Many happy returns from one Ben to another.
"Genius without education," someone once said, "is like silver in the mine."
The speaker in question, born three centuries ago today in Boston clearly recognized the importance of education at an early age. The seventeenth son of a tallow chandler, he would, through a combination of education, discipline, a relentless drive towards self-improvement, and a little bit of luck, cultivate a genius that would echo through the ages. He would become more than another colonial wit or a humorist with access to a printing press. Author, statesman, inventor, ambassador, and civic leader...in his time he was all of these things, becoming America's first Renaissance man in a time which later histories seem to suggest was full of great men.
Here was a man who would be comfortable in any salon in Europe, dispensing sage advice on subjects ranging from thrift ("If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.") to etiquette ("Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others."). At the same time however, he was capable of writing bawdy tracts on the selection of a mistress or satires on the division of large empires into small ones. He devised our modern method of describing electric charges as either positive or negative and created practical inventions that we still make use of today.
And he was a human being with human failings. And he recognized those failings and tried hard to make himself a better person. After all, as he wrote: "Each year one vicious habit discarded, in time might make the worst of us good."
Growing up, it was only natural to feel some affinity with him, if for no other reason than because we shared the same first name, but as I've gotten older, I think my respect for his philosophy, his general attitude toward life, has only increased.
"If you would not be forgotten," he once noted, "either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing."
He certainly did both in his lifetime.
Reading over this post, I wonder how my students would respond if I mentioned that last quote to them tomorrow. To many, I fear that Benjamin Franklin is just another on a long list of white guys who happen to be enshrined on American currency. I'll have to remedy that when we get to our chapter on electricity, in between anecdotes regarding Tesla's death ray and bad puns involving Georg Ohm.
In any event, happy 300th birthday, Mr. Franklin. Many happy returns from one Ben to another.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
We Interrupt Your Weekend For an Important Bulletin...
This weekend is like two weekends rolled into one. Why is that?
It's actually a pretty simple equation: Martin Luther King Day + District Mandated Professional Development=2 extra days without students!
Which is a damn good thing because the way my students have been behaving lately, I could use a break. But I'm not going to spend too much time now relating war stories. There are too many to tell and I'm anxious to get some sleep.
I am however, at the request of several people, going to post the results of this year's Movie Quote Contest. The winner, by a landslide, was the Baron, who has apparently waived his traditional title of nobility in favor of pursuing a medical degree and a seeming minor in movie minutiae. How else does one explain his successful identification of nearly 40 of the following quotes?
Check them out again. If you're like me, you'll find they make a lot more sense once you see the answers.
1. Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Airplane
2. I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.
Casablanca
3. You'll get your Iron Cross now, "Von" Ryan!
Von Ryan's Express
4. Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool.
The Hustler
5. I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!
The Elephant Man
6. Have you ever been in love, Mac?
No, I have always been a bartender.
My Darling Clementine
7. I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
Monsters, Inc.
8. We would have injected vitamin C if only they had made it illegal.
Trainspotting
9. Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.
Star Wars, Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith
10. Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past - someone dead - can enter and take possession of a living being?
Vertigo
11. In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
Braveheart
12. I'm very discreet... but I will haunt your dreams.
The 40 Year Old Virgin
13. Jimmy had never asked me to whack somebody before - but now he's asking me to go down to Florida and do a hit with Anthony? That's when I knew I would never have come back from Florida alive.
Goodfellas
14. Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Groundhog Day
15. I am going to go with the balloon animal display for the kids, and then when she comes near, guess who’s the broken man with the haunted past?
Wedding Crashers
16. I hope you die!
That'll be the day.
The Searchers
17. There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
Clerks
18. Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
This is Spinal Tap
19. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
20. That's funny...that plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops.
North by Northwest
21. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
22. Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a little plastic rocket
Serenity
23. Bring back life form. Priority One. All other priorities rescinded.
Alien
24. He told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. Then he said the facts had no meaning.
The Man Who Wasn't There
25. You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
26. I'll count three, and if you're not out of the house by then, I'll loose the dogs on you.
If you say "three," mister, you'll never hear the man count "ten."
The Quiet Man
27. You know what I think? You're stealing gold, that's what I think. We're fighting Saddam and dying, and you're stealing gold.
Three Kings
28. Can I get a copy of this? I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House."
The Aristocrats
29. You guys are about to write a story that says the former Attorney General, the highest-ranking law enforcement officer in this country, is a crook! Just be sure you're right.
All the President's Men
30. I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?
Strangers on a Train
31. Chuck. Chuck. It's Marvin - your cousin, Marvin BERRY. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this.
Back to the Future
32. You're bleeding, man.
I ain't got time to bleed.
Predator
33. Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it. You've got everything except one thing: madness!
Zorba the Greek
34. What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!
Lethal Weapon
35. Finance is a gun. Politics is knowing when to pull the trigger.
The Godfather, Part III
36. You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later as they grow follows madness and death.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
37. Technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
38. Ma chère mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the dining room proudly presents... your dinner.
Beauty and the Beast
39. I have learned from experience that a modicum of snuff can be most efficacious.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
40. Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times?
Rear Window
41. In the end, it was luck. We were this close to nuclear war, and luck prevented it.
Fog of War
42. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
The Big Lebowski
43. Take this guy... armed robbery, double homicide. Has a taste for theatrics, like you. He leaves a calling card.
Batman Begins
44. Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.
The Exorcist
45. Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my outlaw name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp.
Shanghai Noon
46. My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.
Cool Hand Luke
47. Hey, what's-a matter, you no understand English? You can't come in here unless you say, "Swordfish."
Horse Feathers
48. This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war.
Sin City
49. This weekend is not about me. It is about you. I'm gonna show you a good time. We're gonna drink a lot of good wine. We're gonna play some golf. We're gonna eat some great food and enjoy the scenery and we are going to send you off in style, mon frere.
Sideways
50. Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
2001: A Space Odyssey
As promised, as a reward for his diligence in identifying the cinematic sources of these quotations, the Baron may now read the credits to this blog in the style of his choice. I recommend "monologuing supervillain" or "eccentric German inventor."
Congratulations and thanks to all participants. The quote contest will return in December 2006.
Until then, keep your eyes on the screen.
This weekend is like two weekends rolled into one. Why is that?
It's actually a pretty simple equation: Martin Luther King Day + District Mandated Professional Development=2 extra days without students!
Which is a damn good thing because the way my students have been behaving lately, I could use a break. But I'm not going to spend too much time now relating war stories. There are too many to tell and I'm anxious to get some sleep.
I am however, at the request of several people, going to post the results of this year's Movie Quote Contest. The winner, by a landslide, was the Baron, who has apparently waived his traditional title of nobility in favor of pursuing a medical degree and a seeming minor in movie minutiae. How else does one explain his successful identification of nearly 40 of the following quotes?
Check them out again. If you're like me, you'll find they make a lot more sense once you see the answers.
1. Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Airplane
2. I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.
Casablanca
3. You'll get your Iron Cross now, "Von" Ryan!
Von Ryan's Express
4. Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool.
The Hustler
5. I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!
The Elephant Man
6. Have you ever been in love, Mac?
No, I have always been a bartender.
My Darling Clementine
7. I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
Monsters, Inc.
8. We would have injected vitamin C if only they had made it illegal.
Trainspotting
9. Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.
Star Wars, Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith
10. Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past - someone dead - can enter and take possession of a living being?
Vertigo
11. In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
Braveheart
12. I'm very discreet... but I will haunt your dreams.
The 40 Year Old Virgin
13. Jimmy had never asked me to whack somebody before - but now he's asking me to go down to Florida and do a hit with Anthony? That's when I knew I would never have come back from Florida alive.
Goodfellas
14. Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Groundhog Day
15. I am going to go with the balloon animal display for the kids, and then when she comes near, guess who’s the broken man with the haunted past?
Wedding Crashers
16. I hope you die!
That'll be the day.
The Searchers
17. There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
Clerks
18. Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
This is Spinal Tap
19. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
20. That's funny...that plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops.
North by Northwest
21. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
22. Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a little plastic rocket
Serenity
23. Bring back life form. Priority One. All other priorities rescinded.
Alien
24. He told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. Then he said the facts had no meaning.
The Man Who Wasn't There
25. You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
26. I'll count three, and if you're not out of the house by then, I'll loose the dogs on you.
If you say "three," mister, you'll never hear the man count "ten."
The Quiet Man
27. You know what I think? You're stealing gold, that's what I think. We're fighting Saddam and dying, and you're stealing gold.
Three Kings
28. Can I get a copy of this? I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House."
The Aristocrats
29. You guys are about to write a story that says the former Attorney General, the highest-ranking law enforcement officer in this country, is a crook! Just be sure you're right.
All the President's Men
30. I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?
Strangers on a Train
31. Chuck. Chuck. It's Marvin - your cousin, Marvin BERRY. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this.
Back to the Future
32. You're bleeding, man.
I ain't got time to bleed.
Predator
33. Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it. You've got everything except one thing: madness!
Zorba the Greek
34. What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!
Lethal Weapon
35. Finance is a gun. Politics is knowing when to pull the trigger.
The Godfather, Part III
36. You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later as they grow follows madness and death.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
37. Technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
38. Ma chère mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the dining room proudly presents... your dinner.
Beauty and the Beast
39. I have learned from experience that a modicum of snuff can be most efficacious.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
40. Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times?
Rear Window
41. In the end, it was luck. We were this close to nuclear war, and luck prevented it.
Fog of War
42. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
The Big Lebowski
43. Take this guy... armed robbery, double homicide. Has a taste for theatrics, like you. He leaves a calling card.
Batman Begins
44. Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.
The Exorcist
45. Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my outlaw name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp.
Shanghai Noon
46. My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.
Cool Hand Luke
47. Hey, what's-a matter, you no understand English? You can't come in here unless you say, "Swordfish."
Horse Feathers
48. This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war.
Sin City
49. This weekend is not about me. It is about you. I'm gonna show you a good time. We're gonna drink a lot of good wine. We're gonna play some golf. We're gonna eat some great food and enjoy the scenery and we are going to send you off in style, mon frere.
Sideways
50. Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
2001: A Space Odyssey
As promised, as a reward for his diligence in identifying the cinematic sources of these quotations, the Baron may now read the credits to this blog in the style of his choice. I recommend "monologuing supervillain" or "eccentric German inventor."
Congratulations and thanks to all participants. The quote contest will return in December 2006.
Until then, keep your eyes on the screen.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Friends I Barely Knew
So Underwood lost a science teacher on Friday. Let me assure my more paranoid readers that no, he was not a victim of some school related violence, nor was he misplaced, though I would not put it past our administration to do so. The teacher in question was one of three freshman physical science teachers, and his sudden departure has left the administration scrambling for a long term substitute most of Friday afternoon. And for me? Well, it left me wondering about his decision.
Because in some ways, this other teacher's story parallels my own. Aside from teaching the same subject, we both entered the profession through alternate programs to traditional certification and ended up having to teach subjects unrelated to our original areas of expertise. For him, a biology major, this was the physics aspect of physical science; for me, a history major, it was physics and chemistry and everything else vaguely science related. For both of us, this was our first major post-college job, and for both of us, it was a rather eye-opening experience, not only due to the students, but also the administration.
Consider the following example from our professional development on Friday. The vice-principal, who has previously been quoted as saying that "last year has to be better than this year," informed all the teachers that we had to send students home with textbooks. Apparently, parents have been complaining about the lack of school materials in their students' backpacks loudly enough for the administration to notice. So they ask us to give the kids books, which would be well and good had the administration actually distributed textbooks to all the students in the first place.
For my friend, the administration was always the most frustrating aspect of the school. Classroom management, while by no means easy, was not as great a challenge to him as dealing with inconsistent administrative support. But on Friday afternoon as I cleaned up my room and he cleaned out his, we got to talking and I gathered that there was more behind his decision to leave than the administration's leapfrog style of leadership (jumping from lilypad to lilypad to find the perfect policy rather than settle on one for very long). He told me he was going to be working on graduate school applications and asked me for advice, as I had recently finished the process. The suddenness of the application deadlines was one major reason for leaving.
There was another one however, far more insidious: "This job," he told me, "has taken over my life. When I leave school, I go home and I spend all my time doing work related to school. Even when I know there are things I would rather be doing, I spend hours grading papers or working on lesson plans or thinking about how to deal with the kid who cussed me out earlier in the day. I told myself going into this thing that I would not let this job take over my life, and it has. So although I feel bad for my students and for letting the other teachers down, I'm done."
Part of me hated him at that moment. After all, it was not as though he was the only teacher suffering from this particlar malady. And unlike him, the majority of those either realize their distaste for the position early on so that the students don't get overly attached or stick with the job in spite of its many frustrations and then leave at the end of the year. It seems like a bit of a betrayal to sign up, stay on nearly halfway through the year, and then abruptly, seemingly on a whim, choose to leave.
But another part of me understood. Because, he was not the only teacher suffering in his job. And there have been times, even this year, that I wished that I could leave rather than continue to suffer through the indignities heaped upon the public school educator. But somehow I never quite got that outraged. Or during the times that I felt that way, I bottled up my frustrations and splattered them here on the web. I tell myself now that this was the wiser approach, but sometimes I wonder if that rationalization is flawed and whether it would not be better just to quit. But then I stay anyway, even if it means spending five hours writing packets for kids interested in participating in science fairs or analyzing the district's benchmark tests, desperately searching for grades higher than 75%.
My friend took the opposite path. He would not let this job drag him down, and when it proved to be too much for him to handle, he left. Was it a betrayal of his students to leave or would staying have been a betrayal of his own interests? That question weighs heavily on me now. At the time, I could just help him clean out his classroom and wish him luck facing whatever the future brings.
"Thanks," he said as he walked out the door and left me to clean up my classsroom. "But I have a feeling that you're the one who's going to need good luck, Ben."
And like that he was gone, an emptied classroom the only testimony to a life in teaching strikingly like my own, suddenly cut short. Was his decision a betrayal of Underwood's students and teachers? Or would staying on have been a betrayal of his personal ideals and therefore just as serious? And what if both of these interpretations share validity...how should one balance the call for service with what is best for the individual? It's a question I shall need to ponder as I return to Underwood on Monday.
Wish me luck.
So Underwood lost a science teacher on Friday. Let me assure my more paranoid readers that no, he was not a victim of some school related violence, nor was he misplaced, though I would not put it past our administration to do so. The teacher in question was one of three freshman physical science teachers, and his sudden departure has left the administration scrambling for a long term substitute most of Friday afternoon. And for me? Well, it left me wondering about his decision.
Because in some ways, this other teacher's story parallels my own. Aside from teaching the same subject, we both entered the profession through alternate programs to traditional certification and ended up having to teach subjects unrelated to our original areas of expertise. For him, a biology major, this was the physics aspect of physical science; for me, a history major, it was physics and chemistry and everything else vaguely science related. For both of us, this was our first major post-college job, and for both of us, it was a rather eye-opening experience, not only due to the students, but also the administration.
Consider the following example from our professional development on Friday. The vice-principal, who has previously been quoted as saying that "last year has to be better than this year," informed all the teachers that we had to send students home with textbooks. Apparently, parents have been complaining about the lack of school materials in their students' backpacks loudly enough for the administration to notice. So they ask us to give the kids books, which would be well and good had the administration actually distributed textbooks to all the students in the first place.
For my friend, the administration was always the most frustrating aspect of the school. Classroom management, while by no means easy, was not as great a challenge to him as dealing with inconsistent administrative support. But on Friday afternoon as I cleaned up my room and he cleaned out his, we got to talking and I gathered that there was more behind his decision to leave than the administration's leapfrog style of leadership (jumping from lilypad to lilypad to find the perfect policy rather than settle on one for very long). He told me he was going to be working on graduate school applications and asked me for advice, as I had recently finished the process. The suddenness of the application deadlines was one major reason for leaving.
There was another one however, far more insidious: "This job," he told me, "has taken over my life. When I leave school, I go home and I spend all my time doing work related to school. Even when I know there are things I would rather be doing, I spend hours grading papers or working on lesson plans or thinking about how to deal with the kid who cussed me out earlier in the day. I told myself going into this thing that I would not let this job take over my life, and it has. So although I feel bad for my students and for letting the other teachers down, I'm done."
Part of me hated him at that moment. After all, it was not as though he was the only teacher suffering from this particlar malady. And unlike him, the majority of those either realize their distaste for the position early on so that the students don't get overly attached or stick with the job in spite of its many frustrations and then leave at the end of the year. It seems like a bit of a betrayal to sign up, stay on nearly halfway through the year, and then abruptly, seemingly on a whim, choose to leave.
But another part of me understood. Because, he was not the only teacher suffering in his job. And there have been times, even this year, that I wished that I could leave rather than continue to suffer through the indignities heaped upon the public school educator. But somehow I never quite got that outraged. Or during the times that I felt that way, I bottled up my frustrations and splattered them here on the web. I tell myself now that this was the wiser approach, but sometimes I wonder if that rationalization is flawed and whether it would not be better just to quit. But then I stay anyway, even if it means spending five hours writing packets for kids interested in participating in science fairs or analyzing the district's benchmark tests, desperately searching for grades higher than 75%.
My friend took the opposite path. He would not let this job drag him down, and when it proved to be too much for him to handle, he left. Was it a betrayal of his students to leave or would staying have been a betrayal of his own interests? That question weighs heavily on me now. At the time, I could just help him clean out his classroom and wish him luck facing whatever the future brings.
"Thanks," he said as he walked out the door and left me to clean up my classsroom. "But I have a feeling that you're the one who's going to need good luck, Ben."
And like that he was gone, an emptied classroom the only testimony to a life in teaching strikingly like my own, suddenly cut short. Was his decision a betrayal of Underwood's students and teachers? Or would staying on have been a betrayal of his personal ideals and therefore just as serious? And what if both of these interpretations share validity...how should one balance the call for service with what is best for the individual? It's a question I shall need to ponder as I return to Underwood on Monday.
Wish me luck.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Friends I Never Knew
There is something comforting about predictability. Comforting and terrifying. Don't get me wrong, I respect routine. As a teacher, I'd probably go out of my gourd if I didn't devise an organized system for confronting the thirteen thousand daily tasks that I face both inside and outside the classroom. This includes everything from remembering to bring in an additional ream of emergency paper in case the cellulose lottery that is our office supply closet doesn't pay off to managing a half dozen or more stacks of graded classwork intricately arranged around my desk. Yes, on the whole, routine is a good thing in a classroom, for both teacher and student, even if after 4 months, my students still do not quite understand that the big blue sign labeled "DO NOW" might be worth picking up and completing at some point...you know...in the near future!
At the same time however, routines can be disturbing. Granted, at home, they have their place. Nearly everybody has their own morning routine consisting of some combination of waking up with the alarm clock, falling back asleep, waking up again to a second (third, twelfth, etc.) alarm clock, showering, eating, dressing, and going out to face the day. And similarly, most of us have an evening routine where some food is consumed, teeth are brushed, undressing occurs, and sleep overtakes us so we can begin the morning routine all over again. And these routines are good things! We like these routines. They lend some stability to a chaotic day, like bookends on an overflowing shelf.
At school, I find routines to be more of a convenience that both administrators and students take or leave on a whim. Eat in class. Call a hall sweep. Random assembly? Why not! And does anyone actually even pretend to go to homeroom anymore? The few times either group actually adopt routines, they tend to be stupid ones. I have one student for example, who gets up and walks to my door every day two minutes before his class is supposed to end. When I tell him class isn't over, he has two responses: 1. Yes, it is. (attempt to walk past) 2. Oh... (walks back to seat very slowly...and...the bell rings) Or my favorite. Today we come back from break and receive our weekly Monday Updates from the principal. All well and good...but as I told her, today is Tuesday.
The best part of the update? Random unscheduled, otherwise unannounced half-day on Friday! Huzzah! Let's see how long it takes before students and remaining staff figure this out.
For me however, beyond the mundane role of routines in the classroom, there is a greater issue. I fear falling too heavily into routines in my thinking. An unfortunate side effect of my love of trivia and pop culture references is a tendency towards the Pavlovian response. I share this defect with other members of my family, but it happens to everyone. Mention certain codewords and you'll get someone in the room to say or at least think of, various lines from movies or catchy commercial jingles from their childhoods. And there's nothing wrong with this in small doses, but when it becomes utterly pervasive to the point of unoriginality, when wit fades into mindless repetition, that to me, is the first step towards intellectual stagnation...or at the very least, a hint that some new stuff needs to be added to the referential mix.
And why am I musing on routines, patterns, and references? And why am I asking you? And why am I falling back into my movie referencing habit by continuing this string of rhetorical questions? Because while perusing the Invisible Archives the other day to post about New Year's, I discovered that for since I started this blog, I have devoted one post to the end of winter break focusing on my feelings of desolation and despair that my wonderful time off is over yet simultaneous hope that things will be going better soon. And guess what this little essay was originally going to be about?
Yep. Musings on my time spent with friends back home, followed by some searing discussions of my doubts and fears on the edge of the metaphoric cliff that is the return from winter break, and then some sort of gung-ho, Goonies-never-say-die, tally-ho exhortation as I charged once more into the breach.
Oh and then probably that evening (this evening?), some sort of depressed "Oh hell, it was worse than I ever could have possibly dreamed..." essay.
Which is partly what this is, I guess.
But not entirely.
Because I am not going to fall into that rut.
Nope. Not this year.. Sorry, kids. Instead of continuing on this rant, I am going to cut things short through the skillful use of a tangent. Any of you nonbloggers reading this were probably not aware, for example, of a website called Technorati , which serves as a sort of search engine for web journals. You type in the address of a blog...http://invisibleben.blogspot.com for example, and it will search for links to that blog on other websites! Astounding! I tested it out and discovered links to my blog from several friends and colleagues...and a few people whom I have never met in person.
Needless to say, my mind was blown!
This is bigger than that time that I discovered that my blog was owned by Shade and Kenny Tay. Who are these people? How did they find me? Did they just stumble upon me drunkenly one night while searching for other blogs that mentioned the word teaching? Were they googling a long forgotten movie quote about Eleanor Roosevelt or asking Jeeves about Nikola Tesla and the liquids inside hand boilers? Who knows? The point is, they not only read this blog once, but have actually added it to the blog roll, and in the case of one actually posted links referencing specific posts. All without my knowledge.
Well, that all changes today. It is my great honor and privilege to welcome two dedicated fellow educators to the Invisible Blogroll. The first is a science teacher extraordinaire, who traded in a cushy deal with Scholastic marketing tales of her class's expeditions inside the human digestive system or into the center of the earth in favor of teaching middle school in the Big Apple. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Frizzle .
(APPLAUSE)
Yes now. And next up, coming to you from the depths of rural America...a graduate of the University of Illinois who was foolish enough to get suckered into this business the same way I did, but seems to be enjoying herself nonetheless. Please give a warm welcome to my new favorite veggie-vittle cooking, frisbee throwing, grammarian: Mz. Smlph !
(APPLAUSE redux)
Ladies: My apologies for your delayed enrollment on the Invisible Blogroll. Even the most cursory perusal of your respective sites indicates that your inclusion is long overdue.
Readers: Help me make up for my mistake by visiting their blogs...post haste! Trust me, it'll be well worth your time.
Heck...maybe you could even make a sort of daily routine out of it...
There is something comforting about predictability. Comforting and terrifying. Don't get me wrong, I respect routine. As a teacher, I'd probably go out of my gourd if I didn't devise an organized system for confronting the thirteen thousand daily tasks that I face both inside and outside the classroom. This includes everything from remembering to bring in an additional ream of emergency paper in case the cellulose lottery that is our office supply closet doesn't pay off to managing a half dozen or more stacks of graded classwork intricately arranged around my desk. Yes, on the whole, routine is a good thing in a classroom, for both teacher and student, even if after 4 months, my students still do not quite understand that the big blue sign labeled "DO NOW" might be worth picking up and completing at some point...you know...in the near future!
At the same time however, routines can be disturbing. Granted, at home, they have their place. Nearly everybody has their own morning routine consisting of some combination of waking up with the alarm clock, falling back asleep, waking up again to a second (third, twelfth, etc.) alarm clock, showering, eating, dressing, and going out to face the day. And similarly, most of us have an evening routine where some food is consumed, teeth are brushed, undressing occurs, and sleep overtakes us so we can begin the morning routine all over again. And these routines are good things! We like these routines. They lend some stability to a chaotic day, like bookends on an overflowing shelf.
At school, I find routines to be more of a convenience that both administrators and students take or leave on a whim. Eat in class. Call a hall sweep. Random assembly? Why not! And does anyone actually even pretend to go to homeroom anymore? The few times either group actually adopt routines, they tend to be stupid ones. I have one student for example, who gets up and walks to my door every day two minutes before his class is supposed to end. When I tell him class isn't over, he has two responses: 1. Yes, it is. (attempt to walk past) 2. Oh... (walks back to seat very slowly...and...the bell rings) Or my favorite. Today we come back from break and receive our weekly Monday Updates from the principal. All well and good...but as I told her, today is Tuesday.
The best part of the update? Random unscheduled, otherwise unannounced half-day on Friday! Huzzah! Let's see how long it takes before students and remaining staff figure this out.
For me however, beyond the mundane role of routines in the classroom, there is a greater issue. I fear falling too heavily into routines in my thinking. An unfortunate side effect of my love of trivia and pop culture references is a tendency towards the Pavlovian response. I share this defect with other members of my family, but it happens to everyone. Mention certain codewords and you'll get someone in the room to say or at least think of, various lines from movies or catchy commercial jingles from their childhoods. And there's nothing wrong with this in small doses, but when it becomes utterly pervasive to the point of unoriginality, when wit fades into mindless repetition, that to me, is the first step towards intellectual stagnation...or at the very least, a hint that some new stuff needs to be added to the referential mix.
And why am I musing on routines, patterns, and references? And why am I asking you? And why am I falling back into my movie referencing habit by continuing this string of rhetorical questions? Because while perusing the Invisible Archives the other day to post about New Year's, I discovered that for since I started this blog, I have devoted one post to the end of winter break focusing on my feelings of desolation and despair that my wonderful time off is over yet simultaneous hope that things will be going better soon. And guess what this little essay was originally going to be about?
Yep. Musings on my time spent with friends back home, followed by some searing discussions of my doubts and fears on the edge of the metaphoric cliff that is the return from winter break, and then some sort of gung-ho, Goonies-never-say-die, tally-ho exhortation as I charged once more into the breach.
Oh and then probably that evening (this evening?), some sort of depressed "Oh hell, it was worse than I ever could have possibly dreamed..." essay.
Which is partly what this is, I guess.
But not entirely.
Because I am not going to fall into that rut.
Nope. Not this year.. Sorry, kids. Instead of continuing on this rant, I am going to cut things short through the skillful use of a tangent. Any of you nonbloggers reading this were probably not aware, for example, of a website called Technorati , which serves as a sort of search engine for web journals. You type in the address of a blog...http://invisibleben.blogspot.com for example, and it will search for links to that blog on other websites! Astounding! I tested it out and discovered links to my blog from several friends and colleagues...and a few people whom I have never met in person.
Needless to say, my mind was blown!
This is bigger than that time that I discovered that my blog was owned by Shade and Kenny Tay. Who are these people? How did they find me? Did they just stumble upon me drunkenly one night while searching for other blogs that mentioned the word teaching? Were they googling a long forgotten movie quote about Eleanor Roosevelt or asking Jeeves about Nikola Tesla and the liquids inside hand boilers? Who knows? The point is, they not only read this blog once, but have actually added it to the blog roll, and in the case of one actually posted links referencing specific posts. All without my knowledge.
Well, that all changes today. It is my great honor and privilege to welcome two dedicated fellow educators to the Invisible Blogroll. The first is a science teacher extraordinaire, who traded in a cushy deal with Scholastic marketing tales of her class's expeditions inside the human digestive system or into the center of the earth in favor of teaching middle school in the Big Apple. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Frizzle .
(APPLAUSE)
Yes now. And next up, coming to you from the depths of rural America...a graduate of the University of Illinois who was foolish enough to get suckered into this business the same way I did, but seems to be enjoying herself nonetheless. Please give a warm welcome to my new favorite veggie-vittle cooking, frisbee throwing, grammarian: Mz. Smlph !
(APPLAUSE redux)
Ladies: My apologies for your delayed enrollment on the Invisible Blogroll. Even the most cursory perusal of your respective sites indicates that your inclusion is long overdue.
Readers: Help me make up for my mistake by visiting their blogs...post haste! Trust me, it'll be well worth your time.
Heck...maybe you could even make a sort of daily routine out of it...
