Thursday, January 26, 2006
And all is right as right can be!
This already wild and crazy week just got wilder and crazier this morning when the school decided to resurrect the Underwood High School attendance initiative, a.k.a. "The 90 Percent Club." The basic idea is simple. Currently, the attendance rate at Underwood is around 75%. Knowing that in a school of approximately 2,000 students, 500 or so will be absent on any given day...well, it makes you think, and it makes my principal and the administrators downtown concerned. So what did they do? Well, besides harassing the various homeroom teachers to make more phone calls and get on their students' respective cases, they thought it best to resurrect the school's attendance initiative, the so-called "90% club."
The idea was trotted out last year, to only moderate success, and in theory it makes sense. The students who attend school 90% of the time become eligible for a wide range of rewards, including gift certificates, invitations to dances and parties, and so forth. This year, the school even forged partnerships with local business leaders to help out with prizes and to kick off the whole she-bang, decided to hold an assembly today to explain what was going on.
Unfortunately, the whole assembly was a model of inefficiency for several reasons. First off, no one knew exactly who was scheduled to attend until this morning. Since we do not have an auditorium and there is not enough room to fit everyone in the gym, there would have to be two assemblies. So it was decided that in the morning all the classes on the third floor would go and in the afternoon, the freshmen on floors one and two would go to a special encore presentation. But to keep other students who were not supposed to attend from cutting class or begging their teachers to go to the gym, they were left completely in the dark.
But ok, let's assume for a second that due to word of mouth the teachers on the appropriate floors were eventually notified of what was going on. Time rolls around to head to the first session and because I teach juniors on the third floor in the morning, I get to take my class downstairs. Unfortunately because of a desire to maintain secrecy, there was no coordination or attempt to stagger which classes would enter when, so a rather significant human traffic stoppage occurred in the hallway entering the gym. We must have waited a good 15-20 minutes to get in...I had colleagues who stood in front of the gym for nearly half an hour waiting for the teeming mass of students to cram their way into our gym, which had been specially set up for the event. They even broke out the good tarp to cover the basketball court.
Things finally settle down and the assembly kicks off. The principal greets the kids and kicks off this exciting event, which it should be noted is aimed at motivating the students and getting them enthusiastic about school, by browbeating the kids about how poor their attendance is and its negative effect on their academic performance. The fact that she had a good point did not mean her lecture served to get the kids suddenly more enthusiastic about coming to school. But perhaps enthusiasm was better served by the next speaker, the head of one of our local business partners who started off the meeting by thanking (who else?) his Lord and Savior...without whom he would not be here today.
Yes. You read that right. The 90% club was endorsed by Jesus. It had no chance of failing now. This thing was going to work, despite being the most blatant encroachment of religion at Underwood since someone bolted a "Prayer Box" to the wall in front of the main office.
So after some of that old time religion, he went on to give a rambling talk about everything from his family, the importance of education, his willingness to employ any student in the room who had a resume on them at the time, the fact that only true "ballers" or "hustlers" could "ride with the 90 percent club," and of course, lest we forget, the sheer magnitude of the prizes his business was sponsoring. And I don't care what you think...waving a fistful of $100 bills around added an extra touch of class! (Not to mention a gratuitous, albeit inadvertent Leone reference)
Add in some attendance themed rapping, generic dancing, and the school's drumline playing its one signature song ("Jump On It) for a good twenty minutes, and you've got yourself an assembly. Oh and scattered in there were some brief mentions of how important it was to come to school, and so forth.
The whole affair lasted about an hour and a half. I actually did not get to attend the entirety of the first assembly because I taught a second period freshman class and had to leave after a mere fifteen minutes in the gym. (Which of course worked fine for me, but less well for the kids on the fourth floor who had third floor classes the following period and had no clue where the teachers had gone...let's hear it for clear communication! and backup plans!) Fortunately, I got to go to the freshman assembly in the afternoon, which killed off my last two periods almost entirely.
I say almost because we had a basketball game at home this afternoon, which meant the gym had to be emptied out around 2:40 so the team could warm up and the chairs could be cleaned out. Now, logically, it would make sense to just dismiss the kids directly from the gym, and this is what all of the ninth grade teachers had assumed would be going on since no one in their right mind would force all the freshmen in the school to sit in one place for an hour and a half, rev them up with music and dancing, and then force them back on teachers for only twenty minutes.
Which, I suppose only goes to show something about the relative mental state of the administration. Yes, yes...I know that they were only following the rules, and the rules say that students are meant to remain in the building until exactly 3:00 PM, the end of the school day. But teaching freshmen is hard enough as it is. Teaching them ninth period, doubly so. What the administration forced all of us to do this afternoon was bloody madness. The kids were bouncing around like crickets on crack...yelling, running around, going in and out of classrooms. It was miserable all around.
But you know what, it would be worthwhile if the kids got something out of the assembly. Unfortunately, when I asked a few of my quieter students what they thought, their reply was soberingly realistic: "The kids who want to stay home are still going to stay home."
Again, it's a matter of motivation...without an incentive, either for good or for ill that the students respect there is no way that we can encourage them to change their behavior and do the right thing. And all the assemblies in the world can't change that.
***
Between the two assemblies, which as predicted killed off 3 out of my 5 classes and rendered the other two rather unproductive, I had a chance to talk with a few of the student teachers in the history department who were complaining about the relevance of their graduate school courses.
"Stop complaining," I said. "You want to know the truth? The school where you attend is one of the best in the country, and the methods and systems you are learning in class will be both applicable and relevant to your classrooms both at Underwood and beyond. The people who teach your education classes are competent, intelligent educators with a keen insight into pedagogy and their advice will help make your classes a success. As much of a success as our school's twenty-five book challenge literacy initiative. Or the school's attempts to cut down lateness through hall sweeps. Or our shirt-tucking policy! Or our policy against students wearing hats or bringing cell phones! Or this year's attendance initiative! Or last year's attendance initiative! So you see? Those education classes have a point after all...all is right with the world."
One of the teachers said that my little speech was one of the most cynical things he had ever heard. Cynical perhaps, but also accurate, or at least that's how it looks from my classroom at Underwood High.
This already wild and crazy week just got wilder and crazier this morning when the school decided to resurrect the Underwood High School attendance initiative, a.k.a. "The 90 Percent Club." The basic idea is simple. Currently, the attendance rate at Underwood is around 75%. Knowing that in a school of approximately 2,000 students, 500 or so will be absent on any given day...well, it makes you think, and it makes my principal and the administrators downtown concerned. So what did they do? Well, besides harassing the various homeroom teachers to make more phone calls and get on their students' respective cases, they thought it best to resurrect the school's attendance initiative, the so-called "90% club."
The idea was trotted out last year, to only moderate success, and in theory it makes sense. The students who attend school 90% of the time become eligible for a wide range of rewards, including gift certificates, invitations to dances and parties, and so forth. This year, the school even forged partnerships with local business leaders to help out with prizes and to kick off the whole she-bang, decided to hold an assembly today to explain what was going on.
Unfortunately, the whole assembly was a model of inefficiency for several reasons. First off, no one knew exactly who was scheduled to attend until this morning. Since we do not have an auditorium and there is not enough room to fit everyone in the gym, there would have to be two assemblies. So it was decided that in the morning all the classes on the third floor would go and in the afternoon, the freshmen on floors one and two would go to a special encore presentation. But to keep other students who were not supposed to attend from cutting class or begging their teachers to go to the gym, they were left completely in the dark.
But ok, let's assume for a second that due to word of mouth the teachers on the appropriate floors were eventually notified of what was going on. Time rolls around to head to the first session and because I teach juniors on the third floor in the morning, I get to take my class downstairs. Unfortunately because of a desire to maintain secrecy, there was no coordination or attempt to stagger which classes would enter when, so a rather significant human traffic stoppage occurred in the hallway entering the gym. We must have waited a good 15-20 minutes to get in...I had colleagues who stood in front of the gym for nearly half an hour waiting for the teeming mass of students to cram their way into our gym, which had been specially set up for the event. They even broke out the good tarp to cover the basketball court.
Things finally settle down and the assembly kicks off. The principal greets the kids and kicks off this exciting event, which it should be noted is aimed at motivating the students and getting them enthusiastic about school, by browbeating the kids about how poor their attendance is and its negative effect on their academic performance. The fact that she had a good point did not mean her lecture served to get the kids suddenly more enthusiastic about coming to school. But perhaps enthusiasm was better served by the next speaker, the head of one of our local business partners who started off the meeting by thanking (who else?) his Lord and Savior...without whom he would not be here today.
Yes. You read that right. The 90% club was endorsed by Jesus. It had no chance of failing now. This thing was going to work, despite being the most blatant encroachment of religion at Underwood since someone bolted a "Prayer Box" to the wall in front of the main office.
So after some of that old time religion, he went on to give a rambling talk about everything from his family, the importance of education, his willingness to employ any student in the room who had a resume on them at the time, the fact that only true "ballers" or "hustlers" could "ride with the 90 percent club," and of course, lest we forget, the sheer magnitude of the prizes his business was sponsoring. And I don't care what you think...waving a fistful of $100 bills around added an extra touch of class! (Not to mention a gratuitous, albeit inadvertent Leone reference)
Add in some attendance themed rapping, generic dancing, and the school's drumline playing its one signature song ("Jump On It) for a good twenty minutes, and you've got yourself an assembly. Oh and scattered in there were some brief mentions of how important it was to come to school, and so forth.
The whole affair lasted about an hour and a half. I actually did not get to attend the entirety of the first assembly because I taught a second period freshman class and had to leave after a mere fifteen minutes in the gym. (Which of course worked fine for me, but less well for the kids on the fourth floor who had third floor classes the following period and had no clue where the teachers had gone...let's hear it for clear communication! and backup plans!) Fortunately, I got to go to the freshman assembly in the afternoon, which killed off my last two periods almost entirely.
I say almost because we had a basketball game at home this afternoon, which meant the gym had to be emptied out around 2:40 so the team could warm up and the chairs could be cleaned out. Now, logically, it would make sense to just dismiss the kids directly from the gym, and this is what all of the ninth grade teachers had assumed would be going on since no one in their right mind would force all the freshmen in the school to sit in one place for an hour and a half, rev them up with music and dancing, and then force them back on teachers for only twenty minutes.
Which, I suppose only goes to show something about the relative mental state of the administration. Yes, yes...I know that they were only following the rules, and the rules say that students are meant to remain in the building until exactly 3:00 PM, the end of the school day. But teaching freshmen is hard enough as it is. Teaching them ninth period, doubly so. What the administration forced all of us to do this afternoon was bloody madness. The kids were bouncing around like crickets on crack...yelling, running around, going in and out of classrooms. It was miserable all around.
But you know what, it would be worthwhile if the kids got something out of the assembly. Unfortunately, when I asked a few of my quieter students what they thought, their reply was soberingly realistic: "The kids who want to stay home are still going to stay home."
Again, it's a matter of motivation...without an incentive, either for good or for ill that the students respect there is no way that we can encourage them to change their behavior and do the right thing. And all the assemblies in the world can't change that.
***
Between the two assemblies, which as predicted killed off 3 out of my 5 classes and rendered the other two rather unproductive, I had a chance to talk with a few of the student teachers in the history department who were complaining about the relevance of their graduate school courses.
"Stop complaining," I said. "You want to know the truth? The school where you attend is one of the best in the country, and the methods and systems you are learning in class will be both applicable and relevant to your classrooms both at Underwood and beyond. The people who teach your education classes are competent, intelligent educators with a keen insight into pedagogy and their advice will help make your classes a success. As much of a success as our school's twenty-five book challenge literacy initiative. Or the school's attempts to cut down lateness through hall sweeps. Or our shirt-tucking policy! Or our policy against students wearing hats or bringing cell phones! Or this year's attendance initiative! Or last year's attendance initiative! So you see? Those education classes have a point after all...all is right with the world."
One of the teachers said that my little speech was one of the most cynical things he had ever heard. Cynical perhaps, but also accurate, or at least that's how it looks from my classroom at Underwood High.
