Saturday, January 14, 2006
We Interrupt Your Weekend For an Important Bulletin...
This weekend is like two weekends rolled into one. Why is that?
It's actually a pretty simple equation: Martin Luther King Day + District Mandated Professional Development=2 extra days without students!
Which is a damn good thing because the way my students have been behaving lately, I could use a break. But I'm not going to spend too much time now relating war stories. There are too many to tell and I'm anxious to get some sleep.
I am however, at the request of several people, going to post the results of this year's Movie Quote Contest. The winner, by a landslide, was the Baron, who has apparently waived his traditional title of nobility in favor of pursuing a medical degree and a seeming minor in movie minutiae. How else does one explain his successful identification of nearly 40 of the following quotes?
Check them out again. If you're like me, you'll find they make a lot more sense once you see the answers.
1. Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Airplane
2. I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.
Casablanca
3. You'll get your Iron Cross now, "Von" Ryan!
Von Ryan's Express
4. Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool.
The Hustler
5. I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!
The Elephant Man
6. Have you ever been in love, Mac?
No, I have always been a bartender.
My Darling Clementine
7. I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
Monsters, Inc.
8. We would have injected vitamin C if only they had made it illegal.
Trainspotting
9. Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.
Star Wars, Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith
10. Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past - someone dead - can enter and take possession of a living being?
Vertigo
11. In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
Braveheart
12. I'm very discreet... but I will haunt your dreams.
The 40 Year Old Virgin
13. Jimmy had never asked me to whack somebody before - but now he's asking me to go down to Florida and do a hit with Anthony? That's when I knew I would never have come back from Florida alive.
Goodfellas
14. Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Groundhog Day
15. I am going to go with the balloon animal display for the kids, and then when she comes near, guess who’s the broken man with the haunted past?
Wedding Crashers
16. I hope you die!
That'll be the day.
The Searchers
17. There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
Clerks
18. Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
This is Spinal Tap
19. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
20. That's funny...that plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops.
North by Northwest
21. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
22. Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a little plastic rocket
Serenity
23. Bring back life form. Priority One. All other priorities rescinded.
Alien
24. He told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. Then he said the facts had no meaning.
The Man Who Wasn't There
25. You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
26. I'll count three, and if you're not out of the house by then, I'll loose the dogs on you.
If you say "three," mister, you'll never hear the man count "ten."
The Quiet Man
27. You know what I think? You're stealing gold, that's what I think. We're fighting Saddam and dying, and you're stealing gold.
Three Kings
28. Can I get a copy of this? I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House."
The Aristocrats
29. You guys are about to write a story that says the former Attorney General, the highest-ranking law enforcement officer in this country, is a crook! Just be sure you're right.
All the President's Men
30. I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?
Strangers on a Train
31. Chuck. Chuck. It's Marvin - your cousin, Marvin BERRY. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this.
Back to the Future
32. You're bleeding, man.
I ain't got time to bleed.
Predator
33. Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it. You've got everything except one thing: madness!
Zorba the Greek
34. What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!
Lethal Weapon
35. Finance is a gun. Politics is knowing when to pull the trigger.
The Godfather, Part III
36. You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later as they grow follows madness and death.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
37. Technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
38. Ma chère mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the dining room proudly presents... your dinner.
Beauty and the Beast
39. I have learned from experience that a modicum of snuff can be most efficacious.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
40. Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times?
Rear Window
41. In the end, it was luck. We were this close to nuclear war, and luck prevented it.
Fog of War
42. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
The Big Lebowski
43. Take this guy... armed robbery, double homicide. Has a taste for theatrics, like you. He leaves a calling card.
Batman Begins
44. Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.
The Exorcist
45. Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my outlaw name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp.
Shanghai Noon
46. My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.
Cool Hand Luke
47. Hey, what's-a matter, you no understand English? You can't come in here unless you say, "Swordfish."
Horse Feathers
48. This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war.
Sin City
49. This weekend is not about me. It is about you. I'm gonna show you a good time. We're gonna drink a lot of good wine. We're gonna play some golf. We're gonna eat some great food and enjoy the scenery and we are going to send you off in style, mon frere.
Sideways
50. Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
2001: A Space Odyssey
As promised, as a reward for his diligence in identifying the cinematic sources of these quotations, the Baron may now read the credits to this blog in the style of his choice. I recommend "monologuing supervillain" or "eccentric German inventor."
Congratulations and thanks to all participants. The quote contest will return in December 2006.
Until then, keep your eyes on the screen.
This weekend is like two weekends rolled into one. Why is that?
It's actually a pretty simple equation: Martin Luther King Day + District Mandated Professional Development=2 extra days without students!
Which is a damn good thing because the way my students have been behaving lately, I could use a break. But I'm not going to spend too much time now relating war stories. There are too many to tell and I'm anxious to get some sleep.
I am however, at the request of several people, going to post the results of this year's Movie Quote Contest. The winner, by a landslide, was the Baron, who has apparently waived his traditional title of nobility in favor of pursuing a medical degree and a seeming minor in movie minutiae. How else does one explain his successful identification of nearly 40 of the following quotes?
Check them out again. If you're like me, you'll find they make a lot more sense once you see the answers.
1. Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Airplane
2. I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.
Casablanca
3. You'll get your Iron Cross now, "Von" Ryan!
Von Ryan's Express
4. Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool.
The Hustler
5. I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man!
The Elephant Man
6. Have you ever been in love, Mac?
No, I have always been a bartender.
My Darling Clementine
7. I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
Monsters, Inc.
8. We would have injected vitamin C if only they had made it illegal.
Trainspotting
9. Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order 66.
Star Wars, Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith
10. Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past - someone dead - can enter and take possession of a living being?
Vertigo
11. In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God.
Braveheart
12. I'm very discreet... but I will haunt your dreams.
The 40 Year Old Virgin
13. Jimmy had never asked me to whack somebody before - but now he's asking me to go down to Florida and do a hit with Anthony? That's when I knew I would never have come back from Florida alive.
Goodfellas
14. Rise and shine, campers, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
Groundhog Day
15. I am going to go with the balloon animal display for the kids, and then when she comes near, guess who’s the broken man with the haunted past?
Wedding Crashers
16. I hope you die!
That'll be the day.
The Searchers
17. There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
Clerks
18. Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.
This is Spinal Tap
19. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
20. That's funny...that plane's dustin' crops where there ain't no crops.
North by Northwest
21. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
22. Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a little plastic rocket
Serenity
23. Bring back life form. Priority One. All other priorities rescinded.
Alien
24. He told them to look not at the facts, but at the meaning of the facts. Then he said the facts had no meaning.
The Man Who Wasn't There
25. You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit.
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
26. I'll count three, and if you're not out of the house by then, I'll loose the dogs on you.
If you say "three," mister, you'll never hear the man count "ten."
The Quiet Man
27. You know what I think? You're stealing gold, that's what I think. We're fighting Saddam and dying, and you're stealing gold.
Three Kings
28. Can I get a copy of this? I'd like to send it to the kids from the show "Full House."
The Aristocrats
29. You guys are about to write a story that says the former Attorney General, the highest-ranking law enforcement officer in this country, is a crook! Just be sure you're right.
All the President's Men
30. I beg your pardon, but aren't you Guy Haines?
Strangers on a Train
31. Chuck. Chuck. It's Marvin - your cousin, Marvin BERRY. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this.
Back to the Future
32. You're bleeding, man.
I ain't got time to bleed.
Predator
33. Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it. You've got everything except one thing: madness!
Zorba the Greek
34. What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!
Lethal Weapon
35. Finance is a gun. Politics is knowing when to pull the trigger.
The Godfather, Part III
36. You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later as they grow follows madness and death.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
37. Technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
38. Ma chère mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the dining room proudly presents... your dinner.
Beauty and the Beast
39. I have learned from experience that a modicum of snuff can be most efficacious.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
40. Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times?
Rear Window
41. In the end, it was luck. We were this close to nuclear war, and luck prevented it.
Fog of War
42. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.
The Big Lebowski
43. Take this guy... armed robbery, double homicide. Has a taste for theatrics, like you. He leaves a calling card.
Batman Begins
44. Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.
The Exorcist
45. Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my outlaw name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp.
Shanghai Noon
46. My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.
Cool Hand Luke
47. Hey, what's-a matter, you no understand English? You can't come in here unless you say, "Swordfish."
Horse Feathers
48. This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war.
Sin City
49. This weekend is not about me. It is about you. I'm gonna show you a good time. We're gonna drink a lot of good wine. We're gonna play some golf. We're gonna eat some great food and enjoy the scenery and we are going to send you off in style, mon frere.
Sideways
50. Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
2001: A Space Odyssey
As promised, as a reward for his diligence in identifying the cinematic sources of these quotations, the Baron may now read the credits to this blog in the style of his choice. I recommend "monologuing supervillain" or "eccentric German inventor."
Congratulations and thanks to all participants. The quote contest will return in December 2006.
Until then, keep your eyes on the screen.
