Thursday, August 26, 2004
The Sword of Damocles
The summer is nearly over, and the dread is upon me. How does one plan for the start of a school year when one has no clue which subject (s) he is teaching, much less the nature of the curriculum (s) involved? Most of my colleagues are well on track with their unit planning, or at least planning activities for the first week of school. I'm sitting here in my apartment wringing my hands and waiting for my laundry to finish.
I am fully aware that I will have to confront my situation...but right now, I actually am not in a position to do much. How can I even prepare handouts for the first day when I don't know whether I'm teaching physics, general physical science, or something entirely different... (Chemistry anyone?) I went to the school yesterday, but the outgoing roster chair couldn't tell me any details and the principal was running all over the school, a blur in orange and black.
My hope is to get a grasp on everything next week during professional development. Set up some good systems over the Labor Day Weekend...and then, it's once more unto the breach...
WHEEEEEEE.
(scream in terror)
The summer is nearly over, and the dread is upon me. How does one plan for the start of a school year when one has no clue which subject (s) he is teaching, much less the nature of the curriculum (s) involved? Most of my colleagues are well on track with their unit planning, or at least planning activities for the first week of school. I'm sitting here in my apartment wringing my hands and waiting for my laundry to finish.
I am fully aware that I will have to confront my situation...but right now, I actually am not in a position to do much. How can I even prepare handouts for the first day when I don't know whether I'm teaching physics, general physical science, or something entirely different... (Chemistry anyone?) I went to the school yesterday, but the outgoing roster chair couldn't tell me any details and the principal was running all over the school, a blur in orange and black.
My hope is to get a grasp on everything next week during professional development. Set up some good systems over the Labor Day Weekend...and then, it's once more unto the breach...
WHEEEEEEE.
(scream in terror)
Monday, August 23, 2004
A Valuable Lesson
Never ever EVER buy a USB hub at Walmart.
If your luck is anything like mine, it will cause your printer to spontaneously die...
Unless I get some damn good tech support tomorrow morning, I'm off to the store to buy me a printer posthaste.
More news as events develop...
Never ever EVER buy a USB hub at Walmart.
If your luck is anything like mine, it will cause your printer to spontaneously die...
Unless I get some damn good tech support tomorrow morning, I'm off to the store to buy me a printer posthaste.
More news as events develop...
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Exile's Return?
This afternoon I returned for the first time to Underwood High School. The place resembled a recently abandoned citadel, perched on a small hill overlooking the moat of a road with empty windows and shut doors reminding passerbys that it had borne witness to a long siege. In this case however, unlike a military example, this siege was one enforced from within by the teachers and staff to contain the chaos. And in this case, the efforts, though monumental, had not prevented the school from being added to the state's list of persistently dangerous schools.
I went in hopes of meeting with the principal, Ms. Oldman, both to touch base on how things were shaping up for the coming year, but also to see if I could arrange to introduce the new math teacher I mentioned a few posts back to her and the school. The front doors were locked, so I slumped around the sides through the empty parking lot turned basketball court, glancing into the propped open gym locker rooms, and eventually crept in through the maintenance doorway. The hallways tell a sad story...graffiti in the stairways, posters pulled down, all rooms sealed up. Disheartening sight all around. Even the office, all closed up...but, knowing my principal, I knock on the locked door to her office. And lo and behold...there she is, arguing on the phone with someone at the main office about the auditorium.
Yes...the right hand side of the auditorium had long been plagued by crumbling plaster from the ceiling. Sections had been roped off for the entire school year. But now after the summer rains, the entire room now suffered from ceiling deficiency and had been deemed unfit for use. For my principal, who loves building school community through regular meetings and assemblies, this was intolerable, especially with freshman orientation around the corner. But once she was off the phone with the district, we got to talking about all manner of things. turns out I may not have a uniform schedule of physical science across the board this year after all. We'll see how things turn out in a week or two. As for my other question, it turns out a mixup at the district may mean that my friend the math teacher has no placement at all...and because of that my plan to arrange a meeting will have to be postponed.
I'm now in a mildly awkward position, because I was was in the position last year of not having a placement. Now I learn that another teacher is going to be thrown for a loop; he had a placement, and now because of my intervention, may not have one tomorrow. You can guess how stressful that can be. And should I feel guilty for mentioning the fact that I had met someone who claimed to be assigned a math position if my mentioning it causes him to lose that position in the end?
No use dwelling too long on this moral conundrum...after all I don't know how it ends. But it seems I may be exiled once again at Underwood this coming school year, for better or for worse. And I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
UPDATE
Wow...an actual e-mail regarding a post! How novel.
So...my friend at the Sleeper Cell asks: "At first, you say that a mix-up at the district is why this person doesn't have a placement now, but then you say that you mentioningthis person's placement is why there is no more placement... I don't get it."
In case I was unclear, allow me to provide the following background. Recently one of our math teachers got promoted to be a vice-principal. Initially it appeared that meant we had a math vacancy, so the district automatically went and filled it...with this colleague of mine. However, my principal and roster chair were of the opinion that no such position was necessary and thought they had made the point clear to the district. They were as such unaware that a placement had been made until I mentioned it at my meeting yesterday. Thus in effect, my intervention hastened the inevitable resolution of these mixed messages that would result in the placement's loss rather than being directly responsible for the action. In either case, it sucks for the guy who thought he had a job, but now may not, and I'm still not sure if it's good to be alone at a school or not.
This afternoon I returned for the first time to Underwood High School. The place resembled a recently abandoned citadel, perched on a small hill overlooking the moat of a road with empty windows and shut doors reminding passerbys that it had borne witness to a long siege. In this case however, unlike a military example, this siege was one enforced from within by the teachers and staff to contain the chaos. And in this case, the efforts, though monumental, had not prevented the school from being added to the state's list of persistently dangerous schools.
I went in hopes of meeting with the principal, Ms. Oldman, both to touch base on how things were shaping up for the coming year, but also to see if I could arrange to introduce the new math teacher I mentioned a few posts back to her and the school. The front doors were locked, so I slumped around the sides through the empty parking lot turned basketball court, glancing into the propped open gym locker rooms, and eventually crept in through the maintenance doorway. The hallways tell a sad story...graffiti in the stairways, posters pulled down, all rooms sealed up. Disheartening sight all around. Even the office, all closed up...but, knowing my principal, I knock on the locked door to her office. And lo and behold...there she is, arguing on the phone with someone at the main office about the auditorium.
Yes...the right hand side of the auditorium had long been plagued by crumbling plaster from the ceiling. Sections had been roped off for the entire school year. But now after the summer rains, the entire room now suffered from ceiling deficiency and had been deemed unfit for use. For my principal, who loves building school community through regular meetings and assemblies, this was intolerable, especially with freshman orientation around the corner. But once she was off the phone with the district, we got to talking about all manner of things. turns out I may not have a uniform schedule of physical science across the board this year after all. We'll see how things turn out in a week or two. As for my other question, it turns out a mixup at the district may mean that my friend the math teacher has no placement at all...and because of that my plan to arrange a meeting will have to be postponed.
I'm now in a mildly awkward position, because I was was in the position last year of not having a placement. Now I learn that another teacher is going to be thrown for a loop; he had a placement, and now because of my intervention, may not have one tomorrow. You can guess how stressful that can be. And should I feel guilty for mentioning the fact that I had met someone who claimed to be assigned a math position if my mentioning it causes him to lose that position in the end?
No use dwelling too long on this moral conundrum...after all I don't know how it ends. But it seems I may be exiled once again at Underwood this coming school year, for better or for worse. And I'm still not sure how I feel about that.
UPDATE
Wow...an actual e-mail regarding a post! How novel.
So...my friend at the Sleeper Cell asks: "At first, you say that a mix-up at the district is why this person doesn't have a placement now, but then you say that you mentioningthis person's placement is why there is no more placement... I don't get it."
In case I was unclear, allow me to provide the following background. Recently one of our math teachers got promoted to be a vice-principal. Initially it appeared that meant we had a math vacancy, so the district automatically went and filled it...with this colleague of mine. However, my principal and roster chair were of the opinion that no such position was necessary and thought they had made the point clear to the district. They were as such unaware that a placement had been made until I mentioned it at my meeting yesterday. Thus in effect, my intervention hastened the inevitable resolution of these mixed messages that would result in the placement's loss rather than being directly responsible for the action. In either case, it sucks for the guy who thought he had a job, but now may not, and I'm still not sure if it's good to be alone at a school or not.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
I pity the foo' who didn't read last week's Onion!
This is the best article I've seen in The Onion in some time...
U.S. Military Clears A-Team of Charges
This is the best article I've seen in The Onion in some time...
U.S. Military Clears A-Team of Charges
Friday, August 13, 2004
Exile's End?
Up to this point I have avoided mention of the organization that helped to place me here in the school district where I teach now and under whose auspices I continue to work for at least one more year. The reason is simple...a desire to retain my anonymity and thereby secure my right to speak my mind on issues of the day without fear of reprisal. If I were to start criticizing this organization under its real name (or even a passable pseudonym) and my superiors discovered my willingness to attack the flaws in the organization, things would quickly get awkward. So for now, I'll just leave it at this: An organization placed me here and they are placing others.
Which leads me to the real point of this post and the title of the blog. Because yesterday I was informed that I am going to no longer be the only person from this organization teaching at Underwood High School, as was the case last year. I am torn on how to feel about this. On the one hand, it will be nice to have someone to discuss school politics, other students, and so forth. On the other, in some ways I relished my isolation...there is something appealing to me about being the only one doing something. The lone sentry in the castle, as it were. Suddenly, I become "the experienced one," to whom this new teacher will come for wisdom. (Frightening, isn't it?) Unless of course, this new math teacher turns out to be some sort of wunderkind and capably whips his classroom into shape in two weeks...but that brings up its own set of problems.
Ultimately, I suppose the question comes down in my mind to deciding which is worse: the frustration of being alone or the frustration of being expected by the powers that be to mitigate the birth pains of a struggling new teacher?
Looks like I'll have no say in the matter...I should have savored the solitude.
Up to this point I have avoided mention of the organization that helped to place me here in the school district where I teach now and under whose auspices I continue to work for at least one more year. The reason is simple...a desire to retain my anonymity and thereby secure my right to speak my mind on issues of the day without fear of reprisal. If I were to start criticizing this organization under its real name (or even a passable pseudonym) and my superiors discovered my willingness to attack the flaws in the organization, things would quickly get awkward. So for now, I'll just leave it at this: An organization placed me here and they are placing others.
Which leads me to the real point of this post and the title of the blog. Because yesterday I was informed that I am going to no longer be the only person from this organization teaching at Underwood High School, as was the case last year. I am torn on how to feel about this. On the one hand, it will be nice to have someone to discuss school politics, other students, and so forth. On the other, in some ways I relished my isolation...there is something appealing to me about being the only one doing something. The lone sentry in the castle, as it were. Suddenly, I become "the experienced one," to whom this new teacher will come for wisdom. (Frightening, isn't it?) Unless of course, this new math teacher turns out to be some sort of wunderkind and capably whips his classroom into shape in two weeks...but that brings up its own set of problems.
Ultimately, I suppose the question comes down in my mind to deciding which is worse: the frustration of being alone or the frustration of being expected by the powers that be to mitigate the birth pains of a struggling new teacher?
Looks like I'll have no say in the matter...I should have savored the solitude.
Monday, August 09, 2004
I just adore a penthouse view...
Producer 1: Check. Check one two. Hang on...let me check overhead mike 3. Test. Test. One two three. The bane of Spain was blowing up the Maine. Test, test, one two...getting some feedback. Check one. *snap* two *snap snap* three. Jerry, I'm getting some feedback here...ok. There we go. We're clear for broadcast.
Producer 2: About goddamn time! Get ready to cue Larry in three...
Announcer: Um...guys, I've got laryngitis...
Producer 2: Two....cue theme music and...
Announcer: And a bit of a headache...
Producer 3: (pointing finger at the booth)
Announcer: LIVE FROM HIS SPACIOUS NEW STUDIO APARTMENT...IT'S THE INVISIBLE BEN SHOW!
Audience: (Applause)
Announcer: (muttering) I will kill those producers...(basso profundo) AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST, INVISIBLE BEN!
Audience: (Stunned silence)
Announcer: The Invisible Ben Show is taped before a live audience.
Audience: (Stunned silence, the sound of crickets chirping)
Announcer: Really.
Audience: (the profound silence emanating from the inky void of space, a cicada whirrs)
Announcer: Ah, to hell with this, I'm getting a beer.
Producer 1: What the hell? Larry...get back here!
Invisible Ben: Hello, ladies and gentlemen and welcome back for another zany season of ups and downs, highs and lows, laughter and tears, hopes and fears, macaroni and cheese, and of course my biweekly treatments for manic depression.
Audience: (an aching empty darkness threatening to consume the soul of the heartbroken lover, somewhere in the distance a wildcat does howl)
Invisible Ben: Just kidding on that last one, folks! (Though my writers will likely need some mental hygiene work given your reaction to their work this evening.) Yes, we took a brief hiatus for the past week or two so that we could finalize the move to our luxurious new studio. Studio apartment that is. No longer are we located, as one pundit put it, "sketchville and not-bad-town"...instead we move towards the borders of suburbia, near swanky strip malls with mega-ultra-super markets and chain restaurants. And what better way to take in the opulence of the new surroundings then with a view from the 18th floor balcony? Nothing but verdant greenery of the neighboring park as far as the eye can see...until one's eyes reach the skyline on the horizon. A near perfect view of the major buildings including City Hall and the major bridges. The balcony has thus far also provided an excellent staging ground for the "Mercury" paper airplane missions. We remain dedicated to our goal, before the decade is through, of safely throwing a paper airplane across the regional rail tracks and of safely retrieving it.
Audience: (The whimsical nothingness of the mime running up the down escalator, Leviathan turns and the ground quivers)
Invisible Ben: Man...Even JFK references do nothing for you? Ah well...speaking of technical achievements, I should also mention that our show is now being produced using high tech WIRELESS equipment. Yes...wireless! Never mind that without a laptop, being wireless is about as versatile as a stringless yo-yo. Not that I'm knocking the speed or effectiveness of my connection...far from it, I love it (and it comes at a very reasonable price). I just think I'll like it more when I get a wireless card for my laptop and can blog from the balcony.
George Foreman: Don't forget to use my grill on the balcony for low-fat meals that taste great!
Invisible Ben: Where did you come from?
George Foreman: I'm your guest on tonight's show.
Invisible Ben: No you aren't. I told your agent no because you had too much exposure from infomercials and we try to be open to the little guy here...
George Foreman: I understand and respect that, but remember that unlike the little guy, I am a big guy who can easily kick your sorry...
Audience: (cheers echoing across the battlements, brass clashes, trumpets bray)
Invisible Ben: AAAH...?!? (thinks for a moment, regains moderate semblance of composure upon seeing audience reaction) Point well said. You may sit over there next to our other guests, the Micromachine announcer and cinematic icon and star of Pod People, Trumpy.
George Foreman: Aw man...but Trumpy can only do
Everyone: STUPID THINGS!
Invisible Ben: Yes, yes. (bemused chuckle) Hang on...seems like we lost the reader. Hello reader? Was that reference too obscure? That's ok. We do that here from time to time. We're sorry.
Let's get back to the subject under discussion, namely an update from the new studio. Where were we?
George Foreman: Grilling on the balcony!
Invisible Ben: Sadly no. Not unless an electric grill is involved. The lease forbids it as a (air quotes) "fire hazard." (end air quotes) However, the balcony also serves an excellent place to store things, like empty boxes. Or a bicycle. And given the convenience of nearby bike trails through the park, I intend to make full use of the latter throughout the fall. During the week however, I remain occupied with my nanotechnology research. I had a chance to a hearty South Asian lunch at my lab partner's house last weekend.
George Foreman: Was it grilled?
Invisible Ben: No...and cut that out. It was very spicy though...
Audience: How spicy was it?
Invisible Ben: (Wow...all it takes to liven up an audience is George Foreman and the implication of physical pain on my part!) Actually, it wasn't terribly spicy as I ate it...but the thing about South Asian cuisine is that it uses a lot of spices, like curry, that tend to build up on the tongue over time. And I had foolishly mentioned to my colleague that I enjoyed spicy food. Thus by the end of the meal, which consisted of over one dozen different dishes, I was both very full and very thirsty. And of course I got take home leftovers! Which is good, because I'm still transitioning from my old kitchen to my new one and have yet to puchase my own set of pots and pans.
Commercial Sign: Flashing
Invisible Ben: Ok ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to have to take a brief break now. But we'll be back sometime in the near future with another exciting edition of the show. In the meanwhile, a hearty shout-out to the folks at Crescat Sententia, who like myself refuse to add a comment section to their blog!
George Foreman: Maybe you'd get invited to more barbeques if you added comments.
Micromachines Announcer: GEORGEFOREMANISRIGHTANDHEREARETHIRTYSEVENREASONSWHYIBELIEVETHATTHISISONUMBERONEGREATERSOCIALINTERACTIONINEVITABLYLEADSTO
Invisible Ben: Ok, that's enough social commentary for you, George Foreman. We'll be back with Trumpy, Ambassador Pinky of Freedonia, the Micromachines announcer, and barbeque wielding bully, George Foreman after this break.
Announcer: THE INVISIBLE BEN SHOW WILL RETURN AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS ONCE I'VE PERSONALLY HUNTED DOWN THOSE PRODUCERS...AND THEIR FAMILIES.
(END TRANSMISSION)
Producer 1: Check. Check one two. Hang on...let me check overhead mike 3. Test. Test. One two three. The bane of Spain was blowing up the Maine. Test, test, one two...getting some feedback. Check one. *snap* two *snap snap* three. Jerry, I'm getting some feedback here...ok. There we go. We're clear for broadcast.
Producer 2: About goddamn time! Get ready to cue Larry in three...
Announcer: Um...guys, I've got laryngitis...
Producer 2: Two....cue theme music and...
Announcer: And a bit of a headache...
Producer 3: (pointing finger at the booth)
Announcer: LIVE FROM HIS SPACIOUS NEW STUDIO APARTMENT...IT'S THE INVISIBLE BEN SHOW!
Audience: (Applause)
Announcer: (muttering) I will kill those producers...(basso profundo) AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST, INVISIBLE BEN!
Audience: (Stunned silence)
Announcer: The Invisible Ben Show is taped before a live audience.
Audience: (Stunned silence, the sound of crickets chirping)
Announcer: Really.
Audience: (the profound silence emanating from the inky void of space, a cicada whirrs)
Announcer: Ah, to hell with this, I'm getting a beer.
Producer 1: What the hell? Larry...get back here!
Invisible Ben: Hello, ladies and gentlemen and welcome back for another zany season of ups and downs, highs and lows, laughter and tears, hopes and fears, macaroni and cheese, and of course my biweekly treatments for manic depression.
Audience: (an aching empty darkness threatening to consume the soul of the heartbroken lover, somewhere in the distance a wildcat does howl)
Invisible Ben: Just kidding on that last one, folks! (Though my writers will likely need some mental hygiene work given your reaction to their work this evening.) Yes, we took a brief hiatus for the past week or two so that we could finalize the move to our luxurious new studio. Studio apartment that is. No longer are we located, as one pundit put it, "sketchville and not-bad-town"...instead we move towards the borders of suburbia, near swanky strip malls with mega-ultra-super markets and chain restaurants. And what better way to take in the opulence of the new surroundings then with a view from the 18th floor balcony? Nothing but verdant greenery of the neighboring park as far as the eye can see...until one's eyes reach the skyline on the horizon. A near perfect view of the major buildings including City Hall and the major bridges. The balcony has thus far also provided an excellent staging ground for the "Mercury" paper airplane missions. We remain dedicated to our goal, before the decade is through, of safely throwing a paper airplane across the regional rail tracks and of safely retrieving it.
Audience: (The whimsical nothingness of the mime running up the down escalator, Leviathan turns and the ground quivers)
Invisible Ben: Man...Even JFK references do nothing for you? Ah well...speaking of technical achievements, I should also mention that our show is now being produced using high tech WIRELESS equipment. Yes...wireless! Never mind that without a laptop, being wireless is about as versatile as a stringless yo-yo. Not that I'm knocking the speed or effectiveness of my connection...far from it, I love it (and it comes at a very reasonable price). I just think I'll like it more when I get a wireless card for my laptop and can blog from the balcony.
George Foreman: Don't forget to use my grill on the balcony for low-fat meals that taste great!
Invisible Ben: Where did you come from?
George Foreman: I'm your guest on tonight's show.
Invisible Ben: No you aren't. I told your agent no because you had too much exposure from infomercials and we try to be open to the little guy here...
George Foreman: I understand and respect that, but remember that unlike the little guy, I am a big guy who can easily kick your sorry...
Audience: (cheers echoing across the battlements, brass clashes, trumpets bray)
Invisible Ben: AAAH...?!? (thinks for a moment, regains moderate semblance of composure upon seeing audience reaction) Point well said. You may sit over there next to our other guests, the Micromachine announcer and cinematic icon and star of Pod People, Trumpy.
George Foreman: Aw man...but Trumpy can only do
Everyone: STUPID THINGS!
Invisible Ben: Yes, yes. (bemused chuckle) Hang on...seems like we lost the reader. Hello reader? Was that reference too obscure? That's ok. We do that here from time to time. We're sorry.
Let's get back to the subject under discussion, namely an update from the new studio. Where were we?
George Foreman: Grilling on the balcony!
Invisible Ben: Sadly no. Not unless an electric grill is involved. The lease forbids it as a (air quotes) "fire hazard." (end air quotes) However, the balcony also serves an excellent place to store things, like empty boxes. Or a bicycle. And given the convenience of nearby bike trails through the park, I intend to make full use of the latter throughout the fall. During the week however, I remain occupied with my nanotechnology research. I had a chance to a hearty South Asian lunch at my lab partner's house last weekend.
George Foreman: Was it grilled?
Invisible Ben: No...and cut that out. It was very spicy though...
Audience: How spicy was it?
Invisible Ben: (Wow...all it takes to liven up an audience is George Foreman and the implication of physical pain on my part!) Actually, it wasn't terribly spicy as I ate it...but the thing about South Asian cuisine is that it uses a lot of spices, like curry, that tend to build up on the tongue over time. And I had foolishly mentioned to my colleague that I enjoyed spicy food. Thus by the end of the meal, which consisted of over one dozen different dishes, I was both very full and very thirsty. And of course I got take home leftovers! Which is good, because I'm still transitioning from my old kitchen to my new one and have yet to puchase my own set of pots and pans.
Commercial Sign: Flashing
Invisible Ben: Ok ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to have to take a brief break now. But we'll be back sometime in the near future with another exciting edition of the show. In the meanwhile, a hearty shout-out to the folks at Crescat Sententia, who like myself refuse to add a comment section to their blog!
George Foreman: Maybe you'd get invited to more barbeques if you added comments.
Micromachines Announcer: GEORGEFOREMANISRIGHTANDHEREARETHIRTYSEVENREASONSWHYIBELIEVETHATTHISISONUMBERONEGREATERSOCIALINTERACTIONINEVITABLYLEADSTO
Invisible Ben: Ok, that's enough social commentary for you, George Foreman. We'll be back with Trumpy, Ambassador Pinky of Freedonia, the Micromachines announcer, and barbeque wielding bully, George Foreman after this break.
Announcer: THE INVISIBLE BEN SHOW WILL RETURN AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS ONCE I'VE PERSONALLY HUNTED DOWN THOSE PRODUCERS...AND THEIR FAMILIES.
(END TRANSMISSION)
