Saturday, September 18, 2010
Atonement
I am not a religious person.
Despite what I would consider a solid grounding in the tenets and customs of my family's belief system, in recent years I have become increasingly skeptical of the existence of any sort of higher power, acting for good or ill to guide the course of events across the universe.
Nevertheless, for me a few traditions do exist which, from a cultural perspective, continue to make sense, and which I will likely follow for the rest of my life. One of these is the traditional fast for Yom Kippur, which is intended to provoke reflection upon one's shortcomings during the preceding year and take steps towards self-improvement in the year that is to come. Whether or not I attend services to commemorate this event, as I did last year during my visit to Berlin, or not, as seems to be the case this time around, I find this a worthwhile pursuit.
The odd thing about atonement, however, is never a single-sided affair.
I can bare my soul, admit all of my mistakes, and ask the people I have wronged for forgiveness, but the object of my apology must accept the apology for there to be any sort of emotional closure. This observation begs the question of which is more difficult: admitting one's flaws and moving towards redemption or acknowledging the sincerity of another's efforts at self-improvement and setting aside the anger which resulted from his previous transgressions?
Obviously, there is no single answer to that question. For me, this year, I find the latter to be giving me the most difficulty. There are people who have wronged me whom I simply have not been able to work up the strength of will to forgive. And it saddens me, because I know that unless I can forgive and let go, I will not be able to move on. This is definitely something I will have to work on during the course of the coming year.
In the meanwhile, if I have wronged you, oh gentle readers, than I offer my sincere apologies.
Hopefully, you'll be able to find it within yourselves to forgive me.
I am not a religious person.
Despite what I would consider a solid grounding in the tenets and customs of my family's belief system, in recent years I have become increasingly skeptical of the existence of any sort of higher power, acting for good or ill to guide the course of events across the universe.
Nevertheless, for me a few traditions do exist which, from a cultural perspective, continue to make sense, and which I will likely follow for the rest of my life. One of these is the traditional fast for Yom Kippur, which is intended to provoke reflection upon one's shortcomings during the preceding year and take steps towards self-improvement in the year that is to come. Whether or not I attend services to commemorate this event, as I did last year during my visit to Berlin, or not, as seems to be the case this time around, I find this a worthwhile pursuit.
The odd thing about atonement, however, is never a single-sided affair.
I can bare my soul, admit all of my mistakes, and ask the people I have wronged for forgiveness, but the object of my apology must accept the apology for there to be any sort of emotional closure. This observation begs the question of which is more difficult: admitting one's flaws and moving towards redemption or acknowledging the sincerity of another's efforts at self-improvement and setting aside the anger which resulted from his previous transgressions?
Obviously, there is no single answer to that question. For me, this year, I find the latter to be giving me the most difficulty. There are people who have wronged me whom I simply have not been able to work up the strength of will to forgive. And it saddens me, because I know that unless I can forgive and let go, I will not be able to move on. This is definitely something I will have to work on during the course of the coming year.
In the meanwhile, if I have wronged you, oh gentle readers, than I offer my sincere apologies.
Hopefully, you'll be able to find it within yourselves to forgive me.
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