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Saturday, February 27, 2010

A Whole New Curl

Like many Americans, I have enjoyed watching this year's Winter Olympics on television. Unlike many of my high school friends, I never participated in any winter sports. The nearest I came was sledding, unless one counts a few tentative forays into the world of pickup street hockey. Neither ice skating nor skiing really appealed to me, and so I never took it upon myself to pay close attention to the Winter Olympics beyond anything but the most superficial level.

This year, however, the Olympics have provided a welcome respite from the stress of my dissertation, and I have reveled in the four or five hours of coverage that NBC provides each night. Even as I despise the constant shilling for post-Olympic programming (Anyone care to place bets on the lifespan of The Marriage Ref? How about Minute to Win It?), I have really enjoyed watching short track skating, the four-man bobsled competition, and, of course, hockey.

One sport I have not had a chance to watch is curling. I have long wondered about how this much-maligned frozen cousin of shuffleboard is played, but since matches have been consigned to CNBC I have missed out on all the rock sliding excitement.

After doing a little digging, however, I discovered that the local curling club was holding an open house to coincide with the Olympics and for a small donation, people like me could get out on the ice and see what this strange game is all about. So, this morning I woke up early and drove out to the curling club...only to discover that I should have woken up a lot earlier. There was a huge line. I ended up waiting for two full hours before actually going inside the curling club.

This would not have been so bad, had it not been for the very gregarious, but rather eccentric gentleman who got in line behind me. He was the kind of person who always went out of his way to introduce himself and then expound at length about various aspects of his personal philosophy. Some memorable excerpts (paraphrased):

-"Some people are saying that the earthquake [in Chile] was the result of global warming, but that's stupid. I don't believe in global warming. I think it's a coverup."
-"Jesus is like a train. If you follow the tracks, he can only take you in one direction."
-During a discussion of where future Olympics would be held: "What makes you think we'll be around after 2012? What makes you think you're going to be here tomorrow?"

Also, as if that weren't strange enough, for some reason,he also wanted to know the middle names of people around him.

If that sounds odd, you can imagine stretching it out over the course of two hours. Needless to say, I was quite glad to finally get inside and have a chance to get on the ice. The club had only two sheets (playing surfaces), so they brought us out in batches of 10 at a time. Because it was relatively late by the time we started, my group received only the most cursory training in how to position one's gripper against the hack, balance on my slider foot, and release the rock before crossing the hog line. I confess, that I lost my balance after the first throw, confirming yet again my lack of natural athletic prowess. (Frustratingly, my chatty line companion who, it turns out, was a long time hockey player, seemed to be a natural. Such is life.) But I had a lot of fun until after three throws I was told my time was up and was escorted back off the ice. I never even got to sweep!

Although the return on my time investment was relatively minimal, I still think it would be a lot of fun to try again. Maybe next year, I'll sign up early and take a few lessons. Until then, there are plenty of curling clips on Youtube and elsewhere. Stay frosty!


Comments:
I would have asked that guy, "doesn't that mean you can follow Jesus in one of at least two directions?"

Actually, that might have been a bad idea.
 
Yeah, I'm really not sure how well that would have gone over. Considering how long it seemed we would be standing in line, it seemed wise to just try and keep the peace.
 
Ah, but Dave, if you follow the train tracks the wrong way, you get run over the Jesus train! So, you know, don't do that.
 
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