Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Our Ford Who Art in Heaven
As an aspiring historian, I would be remiss in my academic duties if i did not write something about Gerald Ford, who passed away yesterday morning--and not just because he and I share the same birthday. Ford is one of those presidents who will never be ranked as highly by future presidential scholars. His administration was marred in many ways by the tainted legacy of his predecessor and the general sense of accident associated with his inauguration. He was lampooned in the media; some would say that Chevy Chase's impressions of Ford helped secure Saturday Night Live's satirical legitimacy during its first few seasons. His seeming clumsiness and proclivity for malapropisms has led him to be mocked everywhere from The Simpsons to Watchmen.
But Gerald Ford was an ordinary man placed in extraordinary circumstances, and I think he rose to the occasion. His decision to pardon Nixon will probably be his best known act in the presidency, but he also negotiated the Helsinki Accords, oversaw the evacuation of Saigon, and perhaps most importantly for educators, passed the Education for All Handicapped Children Act, which created special ed classes in our public schools. He did all this with a forthright honesty that contrasted sharply with Nixon and stood as a model for later leaders to follow.
I'm not out to blindly lionize Gerald Ford. Based on what I've read and what the media is saying, he would be among the first to admit that he was not a perfect person. But I think he deserves a more nuanced consideration than scholars of the future are likely to give him. I wonder if they'll be more inclined to look at Ford's presidency for what it wasn't-all the missed opportunities and mistakes--rather than what it was, a tough situation for any president.
As an aspiring historian, I would be remiss in my academic duties if i did not write something about Gerald Ford, who passed away yesterday morning--and not just because he and I share the same birthday. Ford is one of those presidents who will never be ranked as highly by future presidential scholars. His administration was marred in many ways by the tainted legacy of his predecessor and the general sense of accident associated with his inauguration. He was lampooned in the media; some would say that Chevy Chase's impressions of Ford helped secure Saturday Night Live's satirical legitimacy during its first few seasons. His seeming clumsiness and proclivity for malapropisms has led him to be mocked everywhere from The Simpsons to Watchmen.
But Gerald Ford was an ordinary man placed in extraordinary circumstances, and I think he rose to the occasion. His decision to pardon Nixon will probably be his best known act in the presidency, but he also negotiated the Helsinki Accords, oversaw the evacuation of Saigon, and perhaps most importantly for educators, passed the Education for All Handicapped Children Act, which created special ed classes in our public schools. He did all this with a forthright honesty that contrasted sharply with Nixon and stood as a model for later leaders to follow.
I'm not out to blindly lionize Gerald Ford. Based on what I've read and what the media is saying, he would be among the first to admit that he was not a perfect person. But I think he deserves a more nuanced consideration than scholars of the future are likely to give him. I wonder if they'll be more inclined to look at Ford's presidency for what it wasn't-all the missed opportunities and mistakes--rather than what it was, a tough situation for any president.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Post #300: The Movie Quote Contest Strikes Again!
(Now With Comments!)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that post title correctly. As I have promised for weeks now, the movie quote contest is posted below, coinciding neatly with the three hundrendth post I have written on this blog.
Prior to writing this entry, I was sifting through the Invisible Archives, reflecting on how much things have changed since I posted the first iteration of this movie quote contest on December 24th, 2003. At that time, I considered the contest (a holdover from my days working retail) an escape from the madness of my teaching job at Underwood High. I called it a "burst of sanity." Three years and approximately 286 posts later, we find our hero a graduate student at a prestigious institution, having escaped from Underwood only slightly worse for wear. No longer bound to a rigid routine of lesson planning, teaching, and grading, no longer subjected to demeaning professional development meetings or unscheduled classroom inspections, nothing to worry about for the next month or so but writing research papers.
Is there still a place for the movie quote contest in this relatively carefree world I've shaped for myself? Is there even a place for this blog anymore? Originally, I started this blog to describe the madness that was my teaching career, to "lay bare my passions and frustrations" with the strange situation I was in for the past three years. Now, more and more, my posts are about mundane things: the local bookstore, the heat (or lack thereof) in my apartment, and so forth. Call it the cost of success, having left Underwood, I find myself with fewer absurd or frustrating things about which to write.
Now this may be a bad thing, especially to those people who only read my blog due to its relevance to teaching or educational issues as a whole. But just as people's personalities evolve over time to match their living situations, I think that blogs can adapt and evolve too. From where I sit today, with 300 posts under my belt, I think I can say without hesitation that the Tales of Invisible Ben have not all been told and that this blog still has a purpose. If nothing else, it lets me keep friends and family up to date on my activities. And there are of course, the added perks, like perpetuating random traditions that I make up.
Like the movie quote contest, which begins below. The format remains unchanged from previous years. 50 movies. 50 quotes. See how many you can identify without resorting to outside resources. (Yes, we're all very proud that you know how to use IMDB and Wikiquote. Your computer literacy is admirable. Now show us how much you know about movies.) If you think you recognize a quote, you can post your answer in the comments section below.
Yes. You read that right. For the first time in this blog's history, I am turning on comments pending good behavior. Consider this another sign of how this blog and I have changed since the fall of 2003. If things get out of hand on the comments section (insults, spamming, etc.), then I will turn them off and you'll just have to wait another 300 posts before I think about switching them back on again. But otherwise, feel free to post about the contest and see how many films you can name.
The answers will be posted around New Year's. And no, before any of you ask, there is no prize for the winner. Although if you have ideas for prizes for next year's contest, please feel free to suggest them below.
Ok, enough introductory stuff. Without any further adieu, I present to you this year's iteration of my favorite holiday tradition:
THE HOLIDAY MOVIE QUOTE CONTEST
1. You were in a 4g inverted dive with a MiG28?
2. Getta your tootsie-frootsie ice cream!
3. What are you doing here?
A very brief cameo.
Me too.
4. We were talking about automobile insurance, only you were thinking about murder.
5. I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's most unusual!
6. I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face!
7. Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.
8. Think of your children pledging allegiance to the maple leaf. Mayonnaise on everything. Winter eleven months of the year. Anne Murray...all day, every day.
9. You'll be able to spit nails, kid. Like the guy says, you're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna crap thunder.
10. You've seen a general inspecting troops before haven't you? Just walk slow, act dumb, and look stupid!
11. I am not going to New York to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
12. Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.
13. Personally, Veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.
14. One more thing, Sofie... is she aware her daughter is still alive?
15. I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky!
16. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.
17. Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo. The second penguin says, what makes you think I'm not?
18. You still picking your feet in Poughkeepsie?
19. Why didn't you take off all your clothes? You could have stopped forty cars.
Oh, I'll remember that when we need forty cars.
20. "H" for "Hurry," "E" for "'Ergent,'" "L" for "Love me," and "P" for "P-P-P-Please help!"
21. Hey. Hold it. Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city?
Sumerian, not Babylonian.
22. Not only does he know how to treat his editor-in-chief with the proper respect, not only does he have a snappy, punchy prose style, but he is, in my forty years in this business, the fastest typist I've ever seen.
23. I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
24. Walther PPK, 7.65 millimeter. Only three men I know of use such a gun. I believe I've killed two of them.
25. I had not come to Hollywood to fight with a man dressed as Hitler.
26. Since the United States Government declares this man to be Santa Claus, this court will not dispute it. Case dismissed.
27. And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less."
28. Hey, I got a dedication here that's for a friend of the ol' Wolfman. And he wants me to play the next song for a blonde young lady in a Thunderbird.
29. Mother of Mercy! Is this the end of Rico?
30. So, again we are defeated. The farmers have won. Not us.
31. Helping the little lady along are you, my fine gentlemen? Well stay away from her, or I'll stuff a mattress with you! And you, I'll make you into a beehive.
32. Well, you know, race cars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit.
Well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights!
33. Here we are. You got me into your house. You give me a drink. You put on music. Now you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband won't be home for hours.
34. Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide gorilla? Is that what you’re telling me?
35. What difference does it make where you buy underwear? What difference does it make? Underwear is underwear! It is underwear wherever you buy it! In Cincinnati or wherever!
36. I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. You see, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it...
37. But what if none of us goes for the blonde? We won't get in each other's way and we won't insult the other girls. It's the only way to win. It's the only way we all get laid.
38. It's a dinglehopper. Humans use these little babies to straighten their hair out.
39. Attica! Attica!
40. I'll be all around in the dark - I'll be everywhere. Wherever you can look - wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there.
41. Now we got here in the state of Louisiana what's known as the Napoleonic code. You see, now according to that, what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband also, and vice versa...
42. That's all right. He can call me “Flower” if he wants to. I don't mind.
43. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong.
44. People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.
45. You're two wonderful people who happened to fall in love and happen to have a pigmentation problem.
46. They called me chicken. You know, chicken? I had to go because if I didn't I'd never be able to face those kids again. I got in one of those cars, and Buzz, that - Buzz, one of those kids - he got in the other car, and we had to drive fast and then jump...
47. Who is that? Nietzsche? So you stopped talking because of Friedrich Nietzsche?
48. But if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
49. As my first act with this new authority, I will create a grand army of the Republic to counter the increasing threats of the Separatists.
50. They're here already! You're next! You're next! You're next!
(7) comments
(Now With Comments!)
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you read that post title correctly. As I have promised for weeks now, the movie quote contest is posted below, coinciding neatly with the three hundrendth post I have written on this blog.
Prior to writing this entry, I was sifting through the Invisible Archives, reflecting on how much things have changed since I posted the first iteration of this movie quote contest on December 24th, 2003. At that time, I considered the contest (a holdover from my days working retail) an escape from the madness of my teaching job at Underwood High. I called it a "burst of sanity." Three years and approximately 286 posts later, we find our hero a graduate student at a prestigious institution, having escaped from Underwood only slightly worse for wear. No longer bound to a rigid routine of lesson planning, teaching, and grading, no longer subjected to demeaning professional development meetings or unscheduled classroom inspections, nothing to worry about for the next month or so but writing research papers.
Is there still a place for the movie quote contest in this relatively carefree world I've shaped for myself? Is there even a place for this blog anymore? Originally, I started this blog to describe the madness that was my teaching career, to "lay bare my passions and frustrations" with the strange situation I was in for the past three years. Now, more and more, my posts are about mundane things: the local bookstore, the heat (or lack thereof) in my apartment, and so forth. Call it the cost of success, having left Underwood, I find myself with fewer absurd or frustrating things about which to write.
Now this may be a bad thing, especially to those people who only read my blog due to its relevance to teaching or educational issues as a whole. But just as people's personalities evolve over time to match their living situations, I think that blogs can adapt and evolve too. From where I sit today, with 300 posts under my belt, I think I can say without hesitation that the Tales of Invisible Ben have not all been told and that this blog still has a purpose. If nothing else, it lets me keep friends and family up to date on my activities. And there are of course, the added perks, like perpetuating random traditions that I make up.
Like the movie quote contest, which begins below. The format remains unchanged from previous years. 50 movies. 50 quotes. See how many you can identify without resorting to outside resources. (Yes, we're all very proud that you know how to use IMDB and Wikiquote. Your computer literacy is admirable. Now show us how much you know about movies.) If you think you recognize a quote, you can post your answer in the comments section below.
Yes. You read that right. For the first time in this blog's history, I am turning on comments pending good behavior. Consider this another sign of how this blog and I have changed since the fall of 2003. If things get out of hand on the comments section (insults, spamming, etc.), then I will turn them off and you'll just have to wait another 300 posts before I think about switching them back on again. But otherwise, feel free to post about the contest and see how many films you can name.
The answers will be posted around New Year's. And no, before any of you ask, there is no prize for the winner. Although if you have ideas for prizes for next year's contest, please feel free to suggest them below.
Ok, enough introductory stuff. Without any further adieu, I present to you this year's iteration of my favorite holiday tradition:
THE HOLIDAY MOVIE QUOTE CONTEST
1. You were in a 4g inverted dive with a MiG28?
2. Getta your tootsie-frootsie ice cream!
3. What are you doing here?
A very brief cameo.
Me too.
4. We were talking about automobile insurance, only you were thinking about murder.
5. I've never been alone with a man before, even with my dress on. With my dress off, it's most unusual!
6. I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face!
7. Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.
8. Think of your children pledging allegiance to the maple leaf. Mayonnaise on everything. Winter eleven months of the year. Anne Murray...all day, every day.
9. You'll be able to spit nails, kid. Like the guy says, you're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna crap thunder.
10. You've seen a general inspecting troops before haven't you? Just walk slow, act dumb, and look stupid!
11. I am not going to New York to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn't you see Fatal Attraction?
12. Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.
13. Personally, Veda's convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young.
14. One more thing, Sofie... is she aware her daughter is still alive?
15. I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne. Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky!
16. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.
17. Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, you look like you're wearing a tuxedo. The second penguin says, what makes you think I'm not?
18. You still picking your feet in Poughkeepsie?
19. Why didn't you take off all your clothes? You could have stopped forty cars.
Oh, I'll remember that when we need forty cars.
20. "H" for "Hurry," "E" for "'Ergent,'" "L" for "Love me," and "P" for "P-P-P-Please help!"
21. Hey. Hold it. Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city?
Sumerian, not Babylonian.
22. Not only does he know how to treat his editor-in-chief with the proper respect, not only does he have a snappy, punchy prose style, but he is, in my forty years in this business, the fastest typist I've ever seen.
23. I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
24. Walther PPK, 7.65 millimeter. Only three men I know of use such a gun. I believe I've killed two of them.
25. I had not come to Hollywood to fight with a man dressed as Hitler.
26. Since the United States Government declares this man to be Santa Claus, this court will not dispute it. Case dismissed.
27. And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less."
28. Hey, I got a dedication here that's for a friend of the ol' Wolfman. And he wants me to play the next song for a blonde young lady in a Thunderbird.
29. Mother of Mercy! Is this the end of Rico?
30. So, again we are defeated. The farmers have won. Not us.
31. Helping the little lady along are you, my fine gentlemen? Well stay away from her, or I'll stuff a mattress with you! And you, I'll make you into a beehive.
32. Well, you know, race cars don't need headlights, because the track is always lit.
Well, so is my brother, but he still needs headlights!
33. Here we are. You got me into your house. You give me a drink. You put on music. Now you start opening up your personal life to me and tell me your husband won't be home for hours.
34. Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide gorilla? Is that what you’re telling me?
35. What difference does it make where you buy underwear? What difference does it make? Underwear is underwear! It is underwear wherever you buy it! In Cincinnati or wherever!
36. I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. You see, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughin' at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it...
37. But what if none of us goes for the blonde? We won't get in each other's way and we won't insult the other girls. It's the only way to win. It's the only way we all get laid.
38. It's a dinglehopper. Humans use these little babies to straighten their hair out.
39. Attica! Attica!
40. I'll be all around in the dark - I'll be everywhere. Wherever you can look - wherever there's a fight, so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there.
41. Now we got here in the state of Louisiana what's known as the Napoleonic code. You see, now according to that, what belongs to the wife belongs to the husband also, and vice versa...
42. That's all right. He can call me “Flower” if he wants to. I don't mind.
43. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong.
44. People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.
45. You're two wonderful people who happened to fall in love and happen to have a pigmentation problem.
46. They called me chicken. You know, chicken? I had to go because if I didn't I'd never be able to face those kids again. I got in one of those cars, and Buzz, that - Buzz, one of those kids - he got in the other car, and we had to drive fast and then jump...
47. Who is that? Nietzsche? So you stopped talking because of Friedrich Nietzsche?
48. But if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
49. As my first act with this new authority, I will create a grand army of the Republic to counter the increasing threats of the Separatists.
50. They're here already! You're next! You're next! You're next!
Happy Holidays, Wilhelm!
For those of you not in the know, Chanukkah started last night and my parents got me an outstanding present: A year long subscription to Netflix. All the obscure movies I could possibly want without the annoying fees and deadlines of my local public library. ($1 to rent a movie for a day? Seriously? I could get a better deal at Blockbuster.) It's a very thoughtful gift and I definitely plan to take advantage of it soon. However, there's a small part of me that wonders if this gift is part of a subtle and cunning scheme to ensure that I do something other than work on grad school papers during the next month. If so, mission accomplished.
Receiving the gift of movies for the holiday also served to remind me that I have been utterly remiss in posting the annual movie quote contest on this blog, a situation that will be remedied shortly. However, I'm working on something special this year, and it may take longer than normal. Consequently, you'll have to amuse yourselves. And to that end, please enjoy this montage I found of that most ubiquitous of cinematic sound effects, the Wilhelm scream. I got a question on this at a pop culture tournament this year and my teammates were not familiar with it. (This was not helped by my attempt to imitate it...poorly.) Hopefully this video will help to clarify who Wilhelm was and why his scream remains important to film buffs today. So please, sit back and have fun. Oh, and stay tuned...the quote contest is coming soon to a blog near you. (For real this time.)
For those of you not in the know, Chanukkah started last night and my parents got me an outstanding present: A year long subscription to Netflix. All the obscure movies I could possibly want without the annoying fees and deadlines of my local public library. ($1 to rent a movie for a day? Seriously? I could get a better deal at Blockbuster.) It's a very thoughtful gift and I definitely plan to take advantage of it soon. However, there's a small part of me that wonders if this gift is part of a subtle and cunning scheme to ensure that I do something other than work on grad school papers during the next month. If so, mission accomplished.
Receiving the gift of movies for the holiday also served to remind me that I have been utterly remiss in posting the annual movie quote contest on this blog, a situation that will be remedied shortly. However, I'm working on something special this year, and it may take longer than normal. Consequently, you'll have to amuse yourselves. And to that end, please enjoy this montage I found of that most ubiquitous of cinematic sound effects, the Wilhelm scream. I got a question on this at a pop culture tournament this year and my teammates were not familiar with it. (This was not helped by my attempt to imitate it...poorly.) Hopefully this video will help to clarify who Wilhelm was and why his scream remains important to film buffs today. So please, sit back and have fun. Oh, and stay tuned...the quote contest is coming soon to a blog near you. (For real this time.)
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Linkin' Love
The Internet is not fundamentally known for fostering altruism. True, there are exceptions, but for every One Campaign or The Hunger Site, there are dozens of narcissistic and ultimately hollow webpages intended for either mindless entertainment or to fill up space "because it's there." This blog is a prime example of narcissism in its way, and I fully acknowledge that. Its primary (almost wrote "sole", but that is not precisely true) purpose is to provide me with a little patch of cyberspace upon which to post my rambling thoughts. Originally, it had more social relevance, and I do still try to post a little bit about Underwood High and the state of education. But as of right now, it serves as more of a public diary about the daily events in my life. And I hold no pretensions of it ever being anything much more.
And yet, despite the relative mediocrity of its subject matter, some people still choose to visit this site. The majority of these are friends and family, people that who have met me in person. But I've also gotten received some messages via the InvisiblE-mail from teachers across the country. Perhaps the epitome of this is the reciprocal blog link. The Invisible Blogroll, like all of its ilk, reflects a list of blogs that I read regularly. I've resisted the urge to reorganize it, either alphabetically or using some sort of arbitrary category list, principally to preserve the order in which I discovered the blogs in question. In that sense it's a sort of chronology reflecting who I knew and when I met them, or more accurately in the case of Interent-only acquaintances, discovered their online presence. A few blogs on the list actually linked to me before I discovered them, but upon discovery it seemed only fair to post a link in turn. After all, altruism may be a challenge on the Internet, but acts of reciprocal behavior are a dime a dozen. (By the way, if you're one of those unsung bloggers whose links to this site have gone by unnoticed and unreciprocated, PLEASE let me know. We'll fix that up right quick!)
However, as I was going through the Blogroll the other day, I discovered that there were several blogs that, despite previously linking to this one, had removed their link. I discount those using blogging services whose accounts do not allow for links outside that service (e.g. LiveJournal), but as for the rest, what's the rationale? The transaction was complete. You link to my blog, I link to yours. Nice and simple. Now what? The implications are straightforward enough, and in fairness if I only just now noticed the disappearing links, then I probably haven't been reading the blogs in question enough to really be offended at the gesture. Should I remove the link from my blog to demonstrate this? Granted, it seems rather petty, but such is life on the web. On the other hand, that would undermine the historical nature of the blogroll as a (partial) record of my Internet social network.
In any event, in the short term I think it best to let things be so far as previous links are concerned. However, if you are reading this post, check to see if your blog is on the BlogRoll. If it's not and you think it should be, let me know. If it is, and you aren't linking to it on your blog...why not? What's the downside? Foster good Internet karma and a post a link back here.
And just to prove I'm not above this proviso, I went and did a quick search on Technorati and discovered a few new sites to add to the blogroll. So, although this is probably long overdue, welcome to Educational Justice and Fifty Games You Can Play With a Mallet and a Barbie Doll . (This may be the first, last, and only time those two expressions are included in the same sentence.) Also, even if she doesn't choose to link back to this site, I would be terribly remiss if I did not link to my the blog of my girlfriend, who is, in case you were not aware, all three of the following: Teacher, Liberal, Artist .
One final random note, The French Connection appears to be officially dead, replaced by someone actually trying to post information about France. What the heck is up with that?
The Internet is not fundamentally known for fostering altruism. True, there are exceptions, but for every One Campaign or The Hunger Site, there are dozens of narcissistic and ultimately hollow webpages intended for either mindless entertainment or to fill up space "because it's there." This blog is a prime example of narcissism in its way, and I fully acknowledge that. Its primary (almost wrote "sole", but that is not precisely true) purpose is to provide me with a little patch of cyberspace upon which to post my rambling thoughts. Originally, it had more social relevance, and I do still try to post a little bit about Underwood High and the state of education. But as of right now, it serves as more of a public diary about the daily events in my life. And I hold no pretensions of it ever being anything much more.
And yet, despite the relative mediocrity of its subject matter, some people still choose to visit this site. The majority of these are friends and family, people that who have met me in person. But I've also gotten received some messages via the InvisiblE-mail from teachers across the country. Perhaps the epitome of this is the reciprocal blog link. The Invisible Blogroll, like all of its ilk, reflects a list of blogs that I read regularly. I've resisted the urge to reorganize it, either alphabetically or using some sort of arbitrary category list, principally to preserve the order in which I discovered the blogs in question. In that sense it's a sort of chronology reflecting who I knew and when I met them, or more accurately in the case of Interent-only acquaintances, discovered their online presence. A few blogs on the list actually linked to me before I discovered them, but upon discovery it seemed only fair to post a link in turn. After all, altruism may be a challenge on the Internet, but acts of reciprocal behavior are a dime a dozen. (By the way, if you're one of those unsung bloggers whose links to this site have gone by unnoticed and unreciprocated, PLEASE let me know. We'll fix that up right quick!)
However, as I was going through the Blogroll the other day, I discovered that there were several blogs that, despite previously linking to this one, had removed their link. I discount those using blogging services whose accounts do not allow for links outside that service (e.g. LiveJournal), but as for the rest, what's the rationale? The transaction was complete. You link to my blog, I link to yours. Nice and simple. Now what? The implications are straightforward enough, and in fairness if I only just now noticed the disappearing links, then I probably haven't been reading the blogs in question enough to really be offended at the gesture. Should I remove the link from my blog to demonstrate this? Granted, it seems rather petty, but such is life on the web. On the other hand, that would undermine the historical nature of the blogroll as a (partial) record of my Internet social network.
In any event, in the short term I think it best to let things be so far as previous links are concerned. However, if you are reading this post, check to see if your blog is on the BlogRoll. If it's not and you think it should be, let me know. If it is, and you aren't linking to it on your blog...why not? What's the downside? Foster good Internet karma and a post a link back here.
And just to prove I'm not above this proviso, I went and did a quick search on Technorati and discovered a few new sites to add to the blogroll. So, although this is probably long overdue, welcome to Educational Justice and Fifty Games You Can Play With a Mallet and a Barbie Doll . (This may be the first, last, and only time those two expressions are included in the same sentence.) Also, even if she doesn't choose to link back to this site, I would be terribly remiss if I did not link to my the blog of my girlfriend, who is, in case you were not aware, all three of the following: Teacher, Liberal, Artist .
One final random note, The French Connection appears to be officially dead, replaced by someone actually trying to post information about France. What the heck is up with that?
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Underwood Holiday Party 2006: The Highlights
Last weekend was the annual Underwood High School social studies department holiday party, and despite neither of us actually being members of the department, the history teachers saw fit to invite both me and my girlfriend to attend. I had been to this party a few times in the past, but for my girlfriend this was a strange, new world.
Here are a few of the highlights from this year's event:
Last weekend was the annual Underwood High School social studies department holiday party, and despite neither of us actually being members of the department, the history teachers saw fit to invite both me and my girlfriend to attend. I had been to this party a few times in the past, but for my girlfriend this was a strange, new world.
Here are a few of the highlights from this year's event:
- The inevitable conversational trend: There were more than three teachers in a room together. Therefore the majority of discussion had to center on school, no matter how much everyone claimed they wanted not to think about it.
- Person with the least original insights to contribute on the subject of Underwood High: Yours truly.
- Person with the most to add about having every Friday off and sleeping until 8:30 most days of the week: See previous.
- Person with cutest date: Ditto. (And not just according to me! Apparently my girlfriend and I are the first relationship to have started at Underwood, and the history staff think that is just awesome.)
- Most commonly asked question: So, Ben...how's graduate school?
- Most annoying followup question: So, Ben...what do you do with a Ph.D. in the history of science again?
- Safest response to a followup question: Probably become a professor.
- Response most likely to provoke ire of girlfriend: I don't know...I'm more worried about passing this semester.
- Most touchy subject for Underwood teachers these days: The administrative ban on suspensions
- Alternate disciplinary techniques: Detentions, phone calls home, yelling really loudly
- Recourse should alternate techniques fail: Shake fist and curse administration.
- Most hated piece of Underwood electrical equipment: Loudspeaker, due to principal's inability to gauge how long she should talk to the student body at the end of the day.
- Noteworthy rhetorical trend: Calling out individual students' names on the intercom if they are seen wandering the hallways.
- Newest rivalry: Members of the Underwood football team apparently got themselves into a little skirmish with a local gang. It got so bad that the football team was forbidden from wearing their uniforms to school or else risk getting jumped.
- Latest example of administrative meddling in the curriculum: All out of African-American history textbooks? Want to look like you're still giving the kids something to take home? Give them plain old American history textbooks instead. No one will ever notice the difference... (The principal actually suggested this to the head of the history department before he pointed out the absurdity of her suggestion by forcing her to put it in writing.)
- Most heated subject of discussion: Nature v. Nurture in the context of educational achievement.
- Close second: The school's union representative's call for a letter apologizing to a professional development facilitator from downtown after Underwood's staff didn't take kindly to getting told that they weren't doing enough to help their students succeed. (And the shoddy state of the union in general)
- Pickiest eater: Not someone at the party per se, but the former department head's grandson apparently went a full 4 days without eating when his mother wouldn't serve him toast, yogurt, or pancakes for dinner.
- Most original appetizer: Buffalo wing dip. Chicken meat + cheese + a full bottle of hot sauce=Genius!
- Most original dessert: Chocolate Mouse. (Not Mousse. Mouse.) With a Hershey Kiss head and a chocolate covered maraschino cherry serving as body/tail, this was a big hit.
- Least original dessert: My homemade chocolate fudge...for the third year in a row.
- Most surprising person in attendance: One of the former student teachers from my second year at Underwood has been promoted to history teacher status with all of the privileges involved.
- Most sought after item: My annual holiday movie quote contest (which will be posted soon) but was normally distributed around this time of year to the various members of the Underwood faculty.
- Noticeable absences: The math department head is normally invited, but she was MIA. The same held true for the teacher who constantly asks my girlfriend how I'm doing. The one time I'm in town, he's not there. Talk about an unexpected turn of events!
- The final ruling: A good time was had by all...including me, despite the distinct feeling of being an outsider since I left the educational trenches and my girlfriend, who was more than willing to bring me up to speed whenever I got confused about new faculty members' names.
- The only downside: Both of us still had class on Monday...
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Ice to Be Here...
It appears Mother Nature finally figured out what month it is because the first snow flurries of the season have arrived. Right now, my little digital thermometer says that it's slightly above freezing, which outside of Siberia (and possibly Minnesota) should still be considered cold enough to turn on the furnace in the basement here at the Invisible Commune. Unfortunately, such is not the case, which is part of the reason that yours truly is typing so many blog posts these past few days...it helps keep the circulation moving in my fingers.
Now in a normal situation, one would think that turning on the heat would be a simple matter. One would proceed into the basement, turn up the thermostat and (bingo) be done! Easy as falling off a log. Fair enough, I hear you say, so what's the problem?
Q. Is the landlord still away doing research and therefore incapable of helping with the problem?
A. Nope. He's home until the end of the month or so.
Q. Have the other people in the house not brought the matter up with him?
A. Nope. They did indeed discuss the matter and took steps to remedy the situation.
Q. Did those steps work?
A. Obviously not.
Q. Are you saying the landlord doesn't know how the heating system in his own house works?
A. Pretty much.
Q. Is this insane?
A. I'm afraid so.
The cause of all this trouble, it seems, was my landlord's wife, who before departing decided to fiddle with all the baffle valves leading heat from the furnace through the ventilation shafts and up to the various rooms. Since the majority of these valves are unlabelled, and none of the labels correspond to the floor where boarders like myself live, the end result is a combination of frustration and frigidity, with the notable exception of the third floor bathroom, which is the only place in the house with a reasonable temperature. Generally, it's not terrible when I'm working or doing something that lets me keep my mind occupied like reading or watching television, but it's downright annoying in the mornings when it is entirely too cold for anyone's good.
For now however, all that any of us can do is fiddle with the valves and hope that the heat eventually reaches our rooms. But frankly, unless something more tangible is done soon, such attempts are, you'll pardon the expression, cold comfort to my mind...not to mention the rest of me.
It appears Mother Nature finally figured out what month it is because the first snow flurries of the season have arrived. Right now, my little digital thermometer says that it's slightly above freezing, which outside of Siberia (and possibly Minnesota) should still be considered cold enough to turn on the furnace in the basement here at the Invisible Commune. Unfortunately, such is not the case, which is part of the reason that yours truly is typing so many blog posts these past few days...it helps keep the circulation moving in my fingers.
Now in a normal situation, one would think that turning on the heat would be a simple matter. One would proceed into the basement, turn up the thermostat and (bingo) be done! Easy as falling off a log. Fair enough, I hear you say, so what's the problem?
Q. Is the landlord still away doing research and therefore incapable of helping with the problem?
A. Nope. He's home until the end of the month or so.
Q. Have the other people in the house not brought the matter up with him?
A. Nope. They did indeed discuss the matter and took steps to remedy the situation.
Q. Did those steps work?
A. Obviously not.
Q. Are you saying the landlord doesn't know how the heating system in his own house works?
A. Pretty much.
Q. Is this insane?
A. I'm afraid so.
The cause of all this trouble, it seems, was my landlord's wife, who before departing decided to fiddle with all the baffle valves leading heat from the furnace through the ventilation shafts and up to the various rooms. Since the majority of these valves are unlabelled, and none of the labels correspond to the floor where boarders like myself live, the end result is a combination of frustration and frigidity, with the notable exception of the third floor bathroom, which is the only place in the house with a reasonable temperature. Generally, it's not terrible when I'm working or doing something that lets me keep my mind occupied like reading or watching television, but it's downright annoying in the mornings when it is entirely too cold for anyone's good.
For now however, all that any of us can do is fiddle with the valves and hope that the heat eventually reaches our rooms. But frankly, unless something more tangible is done soon, such attempts are, you'll pardon the expression, cold comfort to my mind...not to mention the rest of me.
Embracing Obfuscation
Every Thursday, the history department here at Old Ivy holds a seminar where professors from outside the university come in to present a paper. The affair is open to the general public, but typically only graduate students and faculty attend. Furthermore, the majority of graduate students who attend are first year students like myself who have been informed from on high that it is our duty to go to as many events as possible since we don't have any pesky dissertations to write yet and need to learn more about who's who on the faculty.
These are both compelling arguments, and when the well-catered reception they have after the talk is added into the equation, there's almost no reason a first year grad student shouldn't attend. However, if you were to press me to suggest one possible counterargument it would be this: the papers often assume (or seem to assume) a level of intellectual depth that some might find daunting. These are academics after all. To most people, language is a tool for communication. For academics, I am quickly learning, language is deployed to impress people with how much one knows without actually revealing any true information.
To demonstrate what I mean, consider the following list of paper titles. Five of them are actual papers that have been presented at the weekly history seminar. See if you can figure out which ones are real:
1. Reassessing Social Realism: Precultural Discourse and Postpatriarchial Nationalism
2. Knowledge Painfully Acquired: The Gulag Memoirs of a Japanese Humanist
3. Preconceptual Appropriation and Postdialectic Nihilism
4. The Most Expensive Form of Illness: Terrorism in Late Colonial Malaya
5. The Discourse of Economy: Subdialectic Cultural Theory in the Works of Fellini
6. The Breath of the Possible: Utopianism and the Street in Twentieth-Century Urbanism
7. The Meaninglessness of Discourse: Nationalism, Derridaist reading and Precultural Dialectic Theory
8. Zwischeneuropa: The Search for Modernity between Paris and Petersburg
9. The Fatal Flaw of Context: The Semioticist Paradigm of Expression and Constructivist Subtextual Theory
10. Atoms for Peace and the Visual Rhetoric of Modernity
All set? No going back to change your answers after this point.
Ok. Here's the deal. The even numbered papers are real. The odd numbered paper titles were generated using The Postmodernism Generator. If I wanted to be more helpful, I could have noted that the theme of this year's center (and hence the supposed theme of the real papers) is Utopia and Dystopia. In spite of this however, there are some cases, which category the paper falls into remains difficult to determine from the title, and even after reading it can remain unclear.
Fun and games aside however, there is a serious point to this exercise, namely whether or not such linguistic gymnastics are necessary if one wishes to be considered a serious scholar. I have always been taught to eschew obfuscation in my writing, to set out arguments in a fashion that is intelligible and therefore interesting to the reader. The papers above however, along with many of the journal articles I have read during the course of the semester suggest that clarity in writing may no longer be a necessary prerequisite to academic success, and I find that disheartening. Maybe this is just the last shreds of my naive impressions of what scholarship should be getting ripped away by the harsh wind of academic reality. Maybe I'll come to accept these semantic contortions with good humor and aplomb as I get further initiated into the mysteries of the Ivory Tower. Current research suggests that there is no easy escape from this literary labyrinth. So maybe it's time for me to embrace the madness and claim it as my own.
After all, you know what they say: Upon arrival in the largest population concentration in the Lazio region of Italy, one should comport one's self in the manner of that metropole's inhabitants.
Every Thursday, the history department here at Old Ivy holds a seminar where professors from outside the university come in to present a paper. The affair is open to the general public, but typically only graduate students and faculty attend. Furthermore, the majority of graduate students who attend are first year students like myself who have been informed from on high that it is our duty to go to as many events as possible since we don't have any pesky dissertations to write yet and need to learn more about who's who on the faculty.
These are both compelling arguments, and when the well-catered reception they have after the talk is added into the equation, there's almost no reason a first year grad student shouldn't attend. However, if you were to press me to suggest one possible counterargument it would be this: the papers often assume (or seem to assume) a level of intellectual depth that some might find daunting. These are academics after all. To most people, language is a tool for communication. For academics, I am quickly learning, language is deployed to impress people with how much one knows without actually revealing any true information.
To demonstrate what I mean, consider the following list of paper titles. Five of them are actual papers that have been presented at the weekly history seminar. See if you can figure out which ones are real:
1. Reassessing Social Realism: Precultural Discourse and Postpatriarchial Nationalism
2. Knowledge Painfully Acquired: The Gulag Memoirs of a Japanese Humanist
3. Preconceptual Appropriation and Postdialectic Nihilism
4. The Most Expensive Form of Illness: Terrorism in Late Colonial Malaya
5. The Discourse of Economy: Subdialectic Cultural Theory in the Works of Fellini
6. The Breath of the Possible: Utopianism and the Street in Twentieth-Century Urbanism
7. The Meaninglessness of Discourse: Nationalism, Derridaist reading and Precultural Dialectic Theory
8. Zwischeneuropa: The Search for Modernity between Paris and Petersburg
9. The Fatal Flaw of Context: The Semioticist Paradigm of Expression and Constructivist Subtextual Theory
10. Atoms for Peace and the Visual Rhetoric of Modernity
All set? No going back to change your answers after this point.
Ok. Here's the deal. The even numbered papers are real. The odd numbered paper titles were generated using The Postmodernism Generator. If I wanted to be more helpful, I could have noted that the theme of this year's center (and hence the supposed theme of the real papers) is Utopia and Dystopia. In spite of this however, there are some cases, which category the paper falls into remains difficult to determine from the title, and even after reading it can remain unclear.
Fun and games aside however, there is a serious point to this exercise, namely whether or not such linguistic gymnastics are necessary if one wishes to be considered a serious scholar. I have always been taught to eschew obfuscation in my writing, to set out arguments in a fashion that is intelligible and therefore interesting to the reader. The papers above however, along with many of the journal articles I have read during the course of the semester suggest that clarity in writing may no longer be a necessary prerequisite to academic success, and I find that disheartening. Maybe this is just the last shreds of my naive impressions of what scholarship should be getting ripped away by the harsh wind of academic reality. Maybe I'll come to accept these semantic contortions with good humor and aplomb as I get further initiated into the mysteries of the Ivory Tower. Current research suggests that there is no easy escape from this literary labyrinth. So maybe it's time for me to embrace the madness and claim it as my own.
After all, you know what they say: Upon arrival in the largest population concentration in the Lazio region of Italy, one should comport one's self in the manner of that metropole's inhabitants.
Bookstores Old and New
The Old Ivy campus newspaper announced today that big shifts are on the horizon so far as the area's local book retailers are concerned. Currently, there are two major bookstores on campus: the university co-op (Motto: If it's survived for a century, it can't be bad!) and the reasonably sized independent bookstore on the campus' main drag (Motto: Check out our whimsical Dickens window display!) Apparently however, the university's administration has deemed this setup to be less than optimal and, in their infinite and inscrutable wisdom took steps to remedy this situation.
To that end, the university co-op will no longer be selling books, focusing instead on university-themed memorabilia and bric-a-brac as well as a 24-hour convenience store. Meanwhile, the independent bookstore will have be closing up shop this March after 25 years, destined to be reborn as a chain bookstore with an academic focus. The university has also purchased the property rights of the shoe store and childrens' apparel stores next door, kicking them out to make room for the expanded bookstore and a satellite franchise on the main drag for the co-op.
The exact rationale for this decision remains nebulous, even to members of the faculty who are well-regarded experts in the history and economics of the academic bookstore. Administration officials claim the matter was overly sensitive be discussed with the university community due to employment concerns, etc., but that didn't stop the President from making the formal transition announcement today. Whether university presidents normally take it upon themselves to make announcements of this nature rather than delegating to a vice-president or dean in charge of university affairs, this blogger is uncertain.
What is certain that as a bibliophile, this is both disappointing and exciting. The disappointment is due to my love of well-stocked independent bookstores, especially those with used book selections. On the other hand, book store closing sales are a bibliophile's goldmine, where all sorts of items get sold at low, low prices. And who knows? Maybe there will be a grand opening sale for the new store once it opens? Either way, the possibility for cheap books is on the horizon.
I realize that this is an incredibly self-centered and cynical approach towards a news item that has the potential to be a rather deep and serious matter concerning the status of independent businesses in the face of corporate takeovers, not to mention the question of how involved universities should be in the economy of their surrounding environs. However, from the point of view of a graduate student with a limited budget and a nearly unlimited interest in books, this has the potential to work out very well regardless of how things are ultimately reorganized.
The Old Ivy campus newspaper announced today that big shifts are on the horizon so far as the area's local book retailers are concerned. Currently, there are two major bookstores on campus: the university co-op (Motto: If it's survived for a century, it can't be bad!) and the reasonably sized independent bookstore on the campus' main drag (Motto: Check out our whimsical Dickens window display!) Apparently however, the university's administration has deemed this setup to be less than optimal and, in their infinite and inscrutable wisdom took steps to remedy this situation.
To that end, the university co-op will no longer be selling books, focusing instead on university-themed memorabilia and bric-a-brac as well as a 24-hour convenience store. Meanwhile, the independent bookstore will have be closing up shop this March after 25 years, destined to be reborn as a chain bookstore with an academic focus. The university has also purchased the property rights of the shoe store and childrens' apparel stores next door, kicking them out to make room for the expanded bookstore and a satellite franchise on the main drag for the co-op.
The exact rationale for this decision remains nebulous, even to members of the faculty who are well-regarded experts in the history and economics of the academic bookstore. Administration officials claim the matter was overly sensitive be discussed with the university community due to employment concerns, etc., but that didn't stop the President from making the formal transition announcement today. Whether university presidents normally take it upon themselves to make announcements of this nature rather than delegating to a vice-president or dean in charge of university affairs, this blogger is uncertain.
What is certain that as a bibliophile, this is both disappointing and exciting. The disappointment is due to my love of well-stocked independent bookstores, especially those with used book selections. On the other hand, book store closing sales are a bibliophile's goldmine, where all sorts of items get sold at low, low prices. And who knows? Maybe there will be a grand opening sale for the new store once it opens? Either way, the possibility for cheap books is on the horizon.
I realize that this is an incredibly self-centered and cynical approach towards a news item that has the potential to be a rather deep and serious matter concerning the status of independent businesses in the face of corporate takeovers, not to mention the question of how involved universities should be in the economy of their surrounding environs. However, from the point of view of a graduate student with a limited budget and a nearly unlimited interest in books, this has the potential to work out very well regardless of how things are ultimately reorganized.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Dot Org v. Dot Net: An UnObituary
For a few weeks now I've been lamenting the seeming death/disappearance of one of my favorite blogs on the Invisible Blogroll: Crescat Sententia.
If you were to go to their original website right now, you would discover not the normal witty assortment of legal, literary, and culinary analysis but rather an advertisement for acne prevention products. Every week or so, the site seems to change its commercial focus, but the original blog seemed to have disappeared without a trace. Blaming the disappearance on the rough winter weather in Chicago, I checked back there every so often, but to no avail. Crescat was gone.
I had planned last night to update the Invisible Blogroll to indicate Crescat's closure when I decided to do a more thorough google search. And lo and behold, what did I find?
A new URL, of course! It turns out that I had not heard the good news.
crescatsententia.org is dead
Long live crescatsententia.NET!
The Invisible Blogroll has already been changed to reflect the discrepancy, which appears to have resulted from the unscrupulous behavior of a search engine optimizer. I would say more nasty things about such unfair commercial practices, but I fear they might buy me out...although depending on the price, I suppose such things could be arranged. (A couple million seems about right to me.) Anyhow, the moral of the story is twofold. First, no matter how it looks, nothing really dies on the Internet. Second, there are a wide slew of domain suffixes out there: net, gov, org, and so forth. Make sure you pick the right one for your purpose. And if you don't believe me, try "accidentally" typing the White House website (www.whitehouse.gov) with the wrong ending. (Note: Whitehouse.com appears to have changed from its focus on, shall we say, adult entertainment so you can visit there safely and without going blind. Looks like Big Brother got tired of being equated with the Internet's most fertile industry.)
For a few weeks now I've been lamenting the seeming death/disappearance of one of my favorite blogs on the Invisible Blogroll: Crescat Sententia.
If you were to go to their original website right now, you would discover not the normal witty assortment of legal, literary, and culinary analysis but rather an advertisement for acne prevention products. Every week or so, the site seems to change its commercial focus, but the original blog seemed to have disappeared without a trace. Blaming the disappearance on the rough winter weather in Chicago, I checked back there every so often, but to no avail. Crescat was gone.
I had planned last night to update the Invisible Blogroll to indicate Crescat's closure when I decided to do a more thorough google search. And lo and behold, what did I find?
A new URL, of course! It turns out that I had not heard the good news.
crescatsententia.org is dead
Long live crescatsententia.NET!
The Invisible Blogroll has already been changed to reflect the discrepancy, which appears to have resulted from the unscrupulous behavior of a search engine optimizer. I would say more nasty things about such unfair commercial practices, but I fear they might buy me out...although depending on the price, I suppose such things could be arranged. (A couple million seems about right to me.) Anyhow, the moral of the story is twofold. First, no matter how it looks, nothing really dies on the Internet. Second, there are a wide slew of domain suffixes out there: net, gov, org, and so forth. Make sure you pick the right one for your purpose. And if you don't believe me, try "accidentally" typing the White House website (www.whitehouse.gov) with the wrong ending. (Note: Whitehouse.com appears to have changed from its focus on, shall we say, adult entertainment so you can visit there safely and without going blind. Looks like Big Brother got tired of being equated with the Internet's most fertile industry.)
