Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Are you rapture ready?
My chemistry students recently received interim reports for the final marking period and since many of them bombed the group test I gave on stoichiometry, a number of them have approached me to get a more detailed explanation of their averages. In addition, especially among my honors students, parents and guardians have left phone messages "Re: Interims", and since I try to return phone calls within a day of receiving them, my days have become cluttered trying to answer grade-related questions.
This morning, for example, I decided to contact one of my students' aunts during my prep period. She was unavailable and the actual content of my voicemail was unexceptional. However, her voicemail message was unbelievable, so I include it here, as based on the hasty jottings I made on a 3 x 5 card during the call.
Hello. You've reached 555-555-5555. I am not available to take your call, but if you leave a message at the sound of the beep, I will get back to you as soon as possible. As you are waiting, please consider your eternal state. Ask Jesus to come into your life so you can have a place in Heaven. Be rapture ready and have a blessed day.
*BEEP*
Some thoughts:
1. Which is more important...making sure that I remember what I want to say on a voicemail message or contemplating my eternal state?
2. What is my eternal state? (Confusion? Denial? Frustration? Disbelief?) Maybe it's Kentucky.
3. What is our nation's current rapture readiness level? Is there a government office where I can check such things? I think we should have some sort of color-coded scale for rapture readiness. After all, the Apocalypse is coming. Just ask my students!
My chemistry students recently received interim reports for the final marking period and since many of them bombed the group test I gave on stoichiometry, a number of them have approached me to get a more detailed explanation of their averages. In addition, especially among my honors students, parents and guardians have left phone messages "Re: Interims", and since I try to return phone calls within a day of receiving them, my days have become cluttered trying to answer grade-related questions.
This morning, for example, I decided to contact one of my students' aunts during my prep period. She was unavailable and the actual content of my voicemail was unexceptional. However, her voicemail message was unbelievable, so I include it here, as based on the hasty jottings I made on a 3 x 5 card during the call.
Hello. You've reached 555-555-5555. I am not available to take your call, but if you leave a message at the sound of the beep, I will get back to you as soon as possible. As you are waiting, please consider your eternal state. Ask Jesus to come into your life so you can have a place in Heaven. Be rapture ready and have a blessed day.
*BEEP*
Some thoughts:
1. Which is more important...making sure that I remember what I want to say on a voicemail message or contemplating my eternal state?
2. What is my eternal state? (Confusion? Denial? Frustration? Disbelief?) Maybe it's Kentucky.
3. What is our nation's current rapture readiness level? Is there a government office where I can check such things? I think we should have some sort of color-coded scale for rapture readiness. After all, the Apocalypse is coming. Just ask my students!
