Sunday, November 13, 2005
What We Call "Soccer"
So I realized this evening that it has been far too long since I checked the InvisiblE-mail. Despite a month of absence, there were only two unread pieces of mail, which speaks somewhat to the relative popularity (or lack thereof) of the blog. Still, I try to answer my mail. So, I wrote a quick reply to a reader who stumbled upon the blog and was wishing me luck with the rest of the year.
And then I opened the second letter...and well, I'll just let you read it.
Some major highlights:
1. Apparently, I'm in an Internet directory in Bangkok. That's not at all strange. Nope. Not strange at all!
2. Irish soccer teams are really desparate for players if they're putting out a worldwide search for anyone ages 17-29. (And of course, e-mail users and bloggers are typically known for their athletic prowess!)
3. Irish soccer teams may be desparate, but they take nifty vacations in Thailand.
4. Capitalization appears to be a pick-and-choose kind of thing in ireland. (I mean...Ireland)
5. If you read the end, it almost seems like one could finagle this e-mail into a free trip to Dublin. I suppose it depends on the definition of "compensated." Any friend, brother, etc. who wants in on this?
Ok...enough highlights...read on!
FROM:THE PRESIDENT
DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB DUBLIN
RE:FOOTBALL PLAYERS NEEDED.
Dear,
I know you must be very surprised to be reading from me,considering the fact that you dont know the identity of the person writing you,but be rest assured that i am writing you with good intentions.
I am mrs nancy doyles,the president and owner of DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB,a clubside based in dublin,republic of ireland.I got your e-mail contact adress from an internet directory here in bangkok thailand,while browsing the web,searching for talented,fit and skilled young football stars to build my new team with.
DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB is a clubside i inherited from my late husband,mr patrick doyles.The clubside was disbanded after my husband's untimely death 2 years ago,but was re-opened late this year to carry on with my late husbands dreams of taking the team to greater heights.
For best results for the team,i hired the services of an experienced english coach that has been a former assistant coach in a premiership side in london,i also hired the services of many experienced english technical advisers and assistant coaches.I trust that with their services and that of talented young boys,the sky will be the limit for DOYLES F.C and our aim is to be at the top of the irish league,and onward gradual progress to the premier league.This feats can't be achieved without the help and assistance of young football stars.
DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUBis a football club we want to build around young football stars because we want to start from the grass roots level.The team is currently in bangkok thailand on a 2 months training and trial tour of Thailand.
REASON FOR CONTACTING YOU:If you can play active football well,or if you can not play,but knows or have a brother or a friend that can play well,please contact me on mail by replying to the e-mail adress below.
BASIC REQUIREMENTS:each player must be 17 - 29 years old,each player must report at the teams hotel camp here in bangkok thailand for the screening and trial of the player.Interested players should reply to the adress below for more informations on the travel procedures.
So far we have gotten 8 players from africa,5 from south america,4 asians and 3 europeans,1 american has confirmed his flight ticket and will join the rest of the team next week.
The selected players will return to the teams base in dublin,and must sign a compulsory 1 year contract with the team for the kickoff of the irish league,starting early next year.The dropped players will be compensated and they will return to their home country with their return tickets.
best regards and hoping to hear from you soonest.
nancy doyles.
Below is my open reply to this e-mail:
Dear Ms. Doyles:
Thank you for the kind letter.
Unfortunately, I will not be able to help Doyles F.C. make it to the top of the irish league, much less the premiere league. If I left, my students would have no one at whom to throw paper balls and hurl verbal abuse, and ultimately, the children must come first, even if I must pass up a trip to Dublin (or Bangkok!).
Any chance I could still get a Doyles F.C. T-shirt (XL) so that I can show my support for the team? It would really shut up those pesky Arsenal fans.
Best of luck in the coming season.
-Invisible Ben
So I realized this evening that it has been far too long since I checked the InvisiblE-mail. Despite a month of absence, there were only two unread pieces of mail, which speaks somewhat to the relative popularity (or lack thereof) of the blog. Still, I try to answer my mail. So, I wrote a quick reply to a reader who stumbled upon the blog and was wishing me luck with the rest of the year.
And then I opened the second letter...and well, I'll just let you read it.
Some major highlights:
1. Apparently, I'm in an Internet directory in Bangkok. That's not at all strange. Nope. Not strange at all!
2. Irish soccer teams are really desparate for players if they're putting out a worldwide search for anyone ages 17-29. (And of course, e-mail users and bloggers are typically known for their athletic prowess!)
3. Irish soccer teams may be desparate, but they take nifty vacations in Thailand.
4. Capitalization appears to be a pick-and-choose kind of thing in ireland. (I mean...Ireland)
5. If you read the end, it almost seems like one could finagle this e-mail into a free trip to Dublin. I suppose it depends on the definition of "compensated." Any friend, brother, etc. who wants in on this?
Ok...enough highlights...read on!
FROM:THE PRESIDENT
DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB DUBLIN
RE:FOOTBALL PLAYERS NEEDED.
Dear,
I know you must be very surprised to be reading from me,considering the fact that you dont know the identity of the person writing you,but be rest assured that i am writing you with good intentions.
I am mrs nancy doyles,the president and owner of DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB,a clubside based in dublin,republic of ireland.I got your e-mail contact adress from an internet directory here in bangkok thailand,while browsing the web,searching for talented,fit and skilled young football stars to build my new team with.
DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUB is a clubside i inherited from my late husband,mr patrick doyles.The clubside was disbanded after my husband's untimely death 2 years ago,but was re-opened late this year to carry on with my late husbands dreams of taking the team to greater heights.
For best results for the team,i hired the services of an experienced english coach that has been a former assistant coach in a premiership side in london,i also hired the services of many experienced english technical advisers and assistant coaches.I trust that with their services and that of talented young boys,the sky will be the limit for DOYLES F.C and our aim is to be at the top of the irish league,and onward gradual progress to the premier league.This feats can't be achieved without the help and assistance of young football stars.
DOYLES FOOTBALL CLUBis a football club we want to build around young football stars because we want to start from the grass roots level.The team is currently in bangkok thailand on a 2 months training and trial tour of Thailand.
REASON FOR CONTACTING YOU:If you can play active football well,or if you can not play,but knows or have a brother or a friend that can play well,please contact me on mail by replying to the e-mail adress below.
BASIC REQUIREMENTS:each player must be 17 - 29 years old,each player must report at the teams hotel camp here in bangkok thailand for the screening and trial of the player.Interested players should reply to the adress below for more informations on the travel procedures.
So far we have gotten 8 players from africa,5 from south america,4 asians and 3 europeans,1 american has confirmed his flight ticket and will join the rest of the team next week.
The selected players will return to the teams base in dublin,and must sign a compulsory 1 year contract with the team for the kickoff of the irish league,starting early next year.The dropped players will be compensated and they will return to their home country with their return tickets.
best regards and hoping to hear from you soonest.
nancy doyles.
Below is my open reply to this e-mail:
Dear Ms. Doyles:
Thank you for the kind letter.
Unfortunately, I will not be able to help Doyles F.C. make it to the top of the irish league, much less the premiere league. If I left, my students would have no one at whom to throw paper balls and hurl verbal abuse, and ultimately, the children must come first, even if I must pass up a trip to Dublin (or Bangkok!).
Any chance I could still get a Doyles F.C. T-shirt (XL) so that I can show my support for the team? It would really shut up those pesky Arsenal fans.
Best of luck in the coming season.
-Invisible Ben
