Saturday, January 22, 2005
Snow Daze
Well folks, there's no getting around it...the Invisible Ben has been remiss of late in posting to his blog. Not that too many people outside immediate family and close friends actually read this, but I have actually received questions about the lack of posting. For once, the reason is not a lack of creative inspiration or an absence of anecdotes. Far from it, I'm like Discount Anecdote Warehouse [TM] over here. ("I've got tales from last week, this week, even stuff I just made up! How could I get these prices any lower? Come on down!") There is a list tacked near my monitor of at least a half dozen things worth writing about...once an inspiration strikes, it is folly to let it fade away. Someone once said similar (maybe Feynman?) in regard to dream journals...leave a journal by your bed and write down the dream immediately...well same idea here. I scribble down notes based on my everyday experiences for lengthier posts, but I just haven't made time to get things written. The time was not lost...it just was deprioritized.
Why? Partly, I think it has to do with exhaustion. I've been running myself ragged the past few weeks trying to do...well...everything, or so it feels like. Between the regular 7-6 teaching day, school district/organizational commitments, dealing with paperwork from universities, fixing up my car, and so forth, I'm driving myself up the wall. Two days last week I slept in, nondeliberately. Normally, I wake up at 5:30. This is the schedule I established back when I was living in my old apartment, about 20 minutes from the school, and it's one I stick with today. It allows for a leisurely breakfast, time to read my favorite blogs and other assorted websites (the Times, etc.). Plus I get to take a nice, long shower and get dressed without feeling rushed. Thursday and Friday this week, I got up at 7:00 and 6:30 respectively. I normally LEAVE at 6:30. Wakeup at 6:30? That throws everything off! I have a system, damnit! But here I am, waking up to my alarms (all 3 of them) and disregarding them. Curled up in bed, nestled under three layers of blankets, I feel almost no desire to step into my 58 degree apartment and begin the day.
It's cold outside now, colder than it's been in a while. Finally feels like the old New England winters in which I grew up which is something of a double-edged sword. In a way it parallels a general cooldown in attitudes and perceptions of my students, not to mention their perceptions of me. After all, the second marking period is coming to a close this week. And students are failing at an unprecedented rate. I have one class with only one student passing out of the entire 30. The students now believe that I am out to fail them and that there is no point in even trying to behave. And I have no control. Control got blown away by the first winter breeze. Because once it gets too cold in the building, I can't enforce simple things like the school's "no hat" policy as effectively. And once you give an inch...and they take a yard, even if they don't know how many inches, much less feet, are in it!
Tonight the city skyline is framed in that beautiful orange-pink shade that only appears when in rains or snows in a city. I have never seen it anywhere else. And on the ground below...even on my balcony, several inches of snow. The first storm of the season, and it's an actual nor'easter. They're saying between one and two feet by the time the whole thing blows over. What does this mean? It means a few things. Yet again life has demonstrated a curious symmetry by dealing a snowstorm right when I would be changing semesters (see last year's posts here). Not that school will be canceled, but its an amusing curiosity. Also, I'm going to be further isolated here to my apartment and my thoughts at least, until Monday, when I face my students once again. Right now, I'm walking in a haze of sorts...it's so cold and snowy, I should not have school on Monday. I shouldn't have to go back and face students who either do not feel any inherent desire to learn or simply do not have the ability to comprehend an increasingly complex set of information. And yet, here we are.
The colder temperatures mean more time to pass indoors and here at the computer, so expect posts to come more rapidly in the coming few days. ESPECIALLY if by some bizarre twist of fate I get a snow day off on Monday. If so, expect a lot of posting! But only after a significant amount of sleep.
Speaking of which, I'm bushed.
And so to bed.
Well folks, there's no getting around it...the Invisible Ben has been remiss of late in posting to his blog. Not that too many people outside immediate family and close friends actually read this, but I have actually received questions about the lack of posting. For once, the reason is not a lack of creative inspiration or an absence of anecdotes. Far from it, I'm like Discount Anecdote Warehouse [TM] over here. ("I've got tales from last week, this week, even stuff I just made up! How could I get these prices any lower? Come on down!") There is a list tacked near my monitor of at least a half dozen things worth writing about...once an inspiration strikes, it is folly to let it fade away. Someone once said similar (maybe Feynman?) in regard to dream journals...leave a journal by your bed and write down the dream immediately...well same idea here. I scribble down notes based on my everyday experiences for lengthier posts, but I just haven't made time to get things written. The time was not lost...it just was deprioritized.
Why? Partly, I think it has to do with exhaustion. I've been running myself ragged the past few weeks trying to do...well...everything, or so it feels like. Between the regular 7-6 teaching day, school district/organizational commitments, dealing with paperwork from universities, fixing up my car, and so forth, I'm driving myself up the wall. Two days last week I slept in, nondeliberately. Normally, I wake up at 5:30. This is the schedule I established back when I was living in my old apartment, about 20 minutes from the school, and it's one I stick with today. It allows for a leisurely breakfast, time to read my favorite blogs and other assorted websites (the Times, etc.). Plus I get to take a nice, long shower and get dressed without feeling rushed. Thursday and Friday this week, I got up at 7:00 and 6:30 respectively. I normally LEAVE at 6:30. Wakeup at 6:30? That throws everything off! I have a system, damnit! But here I am, waking up to my alarms (all 3 of them) and disregarding them. Curled up in bed, nestled under three layers of blankets, I feel almost no desire to step into my 58 degree apartment and begin the day.
It's cold outside now, colder than it's been in a while. Finally feels like the old New England winters in which I grew up which is something of a double-edged sword. In a way it parallels a general cooldown in attitudes and perceptions of my students, not to mention their perceptions of me. After all, the second marking period is coming to a close this week. And students are failing at an unprecedented rate. I have one class with only one student passing out of the entire 30. The students now believe that I am out to fail them and that there is no point in even trying to behave. And I have no control. Control got blown away by the first winter breeze. Because once it gets too cold in the building, I can't enforce simple things like the school's "no hat" policy as effectively. And once you give an inch...and they take a yard, even if they don't know how many inches, much less feet, are in it!
Tonight the city skyline is framed in that beautiful orange-pink shade that only appears when in rains or snows in a city. I have never seen it anywhere else. And on the ground below...even on my balcony, several inches of snow. The first storm of the season, and it's an actual nor'easter. They're saying between one and two feet by the time the whole thing blows over. What does this mean? It means a few things. Yet again life has demonstrated a curious symmetry by dealing a snowstorm right when I would be changing semesters (see last year's posts here). Not that school will be canceled, but its an amusing curiosity. Also, I'm going to be further isolated here to my apartment and my thoughts at least, until Monday, when I face my students once again. Right now, I'm walking in a haze of sorts...it's so cold and snowy, I should not have school on Monday. I shouldn't have to go back and face students who either do not feel any inherent desire to learn or simply do not have the ability to comprehend an increasingly complex set of information. And yet, here we are.
The colder temperatures mean more time to pass indoors and here at the computer, so expect posts to come more rapidly in the coming few days. ESPECIALLY if by some bizarre twist of fate I get a snow day off on Monday. If so, expect a lot of posting! But only after a significant amount of sleep.
Speaking of which, I'm bushed.
And so to bed.
