Sunday, January 23, 2005
Snow Day Extravaganza, Part I: Looking for Answers
Around 8:30 this evening I received approximately three online notifications from friends and fellow teachers here in the city that there was news on the district website that school would be cancelled. I clicked on the URL and lo and behold, there it was, plain as the nose on my face...though administrative offices would be open, the schools themselves would be closed. Like clockwork, a year nearly to the day since their last appearance, the snowgods have blessed this humble educator with a snow day.
Not that I was accepting of my good fortunes. Nope, a year and a half of public educating has reconfirmed time and again the old maxim that if something appears too good to be true it usually is...and besides, who trusts the Internet for information...really? I wanted confirmation from an outside source. Something not affiliated with the Internet if possible. So, what do I do? Turn on the TV and crap, no scrolling bar. And besides that, my reception, being as I am: sans-cable, is miserable, so clearly reading anything was not on the agenda. Ok, what's next? RADIO! But although the local station did have closings listed, they were all by school closing number. As I did not know my school closing number listening to a string of digits really did not prove useful.
Eventually I did receive confirmation from the nightly news...but that isn't going to stop me from an early wakeup tomorrow just to be absolutely sure.
In any event, to commemorate this (potentially) glorious occasion here are the answers to the 2nd Annual Invisible Ben Movie Quote Challenge. Congrats to the Baritenor who easily took the title by identifying the most movies correctly. See how well you did by reading below!
1. In fact the double negative has led to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
Clue
2. My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know.
Alfie
3. And now, ladies and gentlemen, before I tell you any more, I'm going to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld. He was a king and a god in the world he knew, but now he comes to civilization merely a captive--a show to gratify your curiosity.
King Kong
4. How far is it to Winnipeg from Montreal?
The 39 Steps
5. Here you go. The killer's a literature professor. He cuts off little chunks from his victims' bodies until they die. He calls himself "the deconstructionist.”
Adaptation
6. Hey, that ain't ours!
Sure it is.
But we come in this one.
That don't mean we have to go home in it!
Bonnie and Clyde
7. Become vengeance, David. Become wrath.
Se7en
8. Because you're on television, dummy. Sixty million people watch you every night of the week, Monday through Friday.
Network
9. Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
Harvey
10. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
11. Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.
U.H.F.
12. Metaman - express elevator! Dynaguy - snagged on takeoff! Splashdown - sucked into a vortex! NO CAPES!
The Incredibles
13. Twenty million people died defeating that son of a bitch, and he's our first ambassador to outer space?
Contact
14. Did you know that Eleanor Roosevelt gave Lou Gehrig the clap?
Lenny
15. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
16. What was I supposed to do...call him for cheating better than me, in front of the others?
The Sting
17. What does God need with a starship?
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
18. Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.
The Royal Tennenbaums
19. That's the machine that goes “ping.”
Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
20. Not strong enough, yet. Well, I will be soon enough. Until then... I'll let Jason have some fun.
Freddy v. Jason
21. How’s that for a bit of fried gold?
Shaun of the Dead
22. It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
23. You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Caddyshack
24. If it's secret and elite, it can't be good.
The Skulls
25. Home is behind, the world ahead.
And there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow to the edge of night.
Until the stars are all alight.
Mist and shadow.
Cloud and shade.
All shall fade. All shall fade.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
26. No shooting friends, Joseph!
Unbreakable
27. Look how she moves! That's just like Jell-O on springs. Must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell you, it's a whole different sex!
Some Like it Hot
28. Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral?
Spartacus
29. I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no."
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
30. Thirty years from now, when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you, "What did you do in the great World War II," you won't have to say, "Well... I shoveled shit in Louisiana."
Patton
31. Henry's bed is Henry's province, he may people it with sheep if he wishes. Which upon occasion he has done.
The Lion in Winter
32. Well, can't he just beam up?
This is reality, Greg.
E.T.: The Extraterrestrial
33. Great, a Soul Train reject, with a Robin Hood complex.
Undercover Brother
34. In fact, you know what they call me back home? You're gonna love this...The Lone Free Ranger!
Chicken Run
35. "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." The benefits of a classical education.
Die Hard
36. You can’t fool me! There is no sanity clause!
A Night at the Opera
37. No thank you. We are dressed in our best and are prepared to go down as gentlemen. But, We would like a brandy.
Titanic
38. Mr. Laurio, never trust a beautiful woman, especially one who's interested in you.
X2
39. Trumpy...you can do magic things!
Pod People
40. You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money.
On the Waterfront
41. Or else Pizza...will send out for you!
Spaceballs
42. Every time I put my line in the water I said a Hail Mary, and every time I said a Hail Mary I caught a fish.
The Godfather, Part II
43. You can not make friends with the rock stars. That's what's important.
Almost Famous
44. Of course, he was a Harvard graduate. That might be grounds for justifiable homicide.
Rope
45. Sew, old woman, sew! Like the wind!
¡Three Amigos!
46. What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
Arthur.
A Hard Day’s Night
47. Oh, it's about this woman who's incredibly - well, she's a hostess and she's incredibly confident and she's going to give a party. And, maybe because she's confident, everyone thinks she's fine... but she isn't.
The Hours
48. Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause of the leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Good Morning Vietnam
49. Tell them I was murdered by my mathematics tutor; they'll never believe you in any case!
The Seven Percent Solution
50. Hey, what's your name?
Davis.
Mine's McCardle. Well, so long.
12 Angry Men
Around 8:30 this evening I received approximately three online notifications from friends and fellow teachers here in the city that there was news on the district website that school would be cancelled. I clicked on the URL and lo and behold, there it was, plain as the nose on my face...though administrative offices would be open, the schools themselves would be closed. Like clockwork, a year nearly to the day since their last appearance, the snowgods have blessed this humble educator with a snow day.
Not that I was accepting of my good fortunes. Nope, a year and a half of public educating has reconfirmed time and again the old maxim that if something appears too good to be true it usually is...and besides, who trusts the Internet for information...really? I wanted confirmation from an outside source. Something not affiliated with the Internet if possible. So, what do I do? Turn on the TV and crap, no scrolling bar. And besides that, my reception, being as I am: sans-cable, is miserable, so clearly reading anything was not on the agenda. Ok, what's next? RADIO! But although the local station did have closings listed, they were all by school closing number. As I did not know my school closing number listening to a string of digits really did not prove useful.
Eventually I did receive confirmation from the nightly news...but that isn't going to stop me from an early wakeup tomorrow just to be absolutely sure.
In any event, to commemorate this (potentially) glorious occasion here are the answers to the 2nd Annual Invisible Ben Movie Quote Challenge. Congrats to the Baritenor who easily took the title by identifying the most movies correctly. See how well you did by reading below!
1. In fact the double negative has led to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.
Clue
2. My understanding of women only goes as far as the pleasure. When it comes to the pain I'm like any other bloke - I don't want to know.
Alfie
3. And now, ladies and gentlemen, before I tell you any more, I'm going to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld. He was a king and a god in the world he knew, but now he comes to civilization merely a captive--a show to gratify your curiosity.
King Kong
4. How far is it to Winnipeg from Montreal?
The 39 Steps
5. Here you go. The killer's a literature professor. He cuts off little chunks from his victims' bodies until they die. He calls himself "the deconstructionist.”
Adaptation
6. Hey, that ain't ours!
Sure it is.
But we come in this one.
That don't mean we have to go home in it!
Bonnie and Clyde
7. Become vengeance, David. Become wrath.
Se7en
8. Because you're on television, dummy. Sixty million people watch you every night of the week, Monday through Friday.
Network
9. Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
Harvey
10. Guns for show, knives for a pro.
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
11. Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.
U.H.F.
12. Metaman - express elevator! Dynaguy - snagged on takeoff! Splashdown - sucked into a vortex! NO CAPES!
The Incredibles
13. Twenty million people died defeating that son of a bitch, and he's our first ambassador to outer space?
Contact
14. Did you know that Eleanor Roosevelt gave Lou Gehrig the clap?
Lenny
15. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race
Kill Bill, Vol. 2
16. What was I supposed to do...call him for cheating better than me, in front of the others?
The Sting
17. What does God need with a starship?
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
18. Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.
The Royal Tennenbaums
19. That's the machine that goes “ping.”
Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
20. Not strong enough, yet. Well, I will be soon enough. Until then... I'll let Jason have some fun.
Freddy v. Jason
21. How’s that for a bit of fried gold?
Shaun of the Dead
22. It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude."
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
23. You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Caddyshack
24. If it's secret and elite, it can't be good.
The Skulls
25. Home is behind, the world ahead.
And there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow to the edge of night.
Until the stars are all alight.
Mist and shadow.
Cloud and shade.
All shall fade. All shall fade.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
26. No shooting friends, Joseph!
Unbreakable
27. Look how she moves! That's just like Jell-O on springs. Must have some sort of built-in motor or something. I tell you, it's a whole different sex!
Some Like it Hot
28. Do you consider the eating of oysters to be moral and the eating of snails to be immoral?
Spartacus
29. I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no."
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
30. Thirty years from now, when you're sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you, "What did you do in the great World War II," you won't have to say, "Well... I shoveled shit in Louisiana."
Patton
31. Henry's bed is Henry's province, he may people it with sheep if he wishes. Which upon occasion he has done.
The Lion in Winter
32. Well, can't he just beam up?
This is reality, Greg.
E.T.: The Extraterrestrial
33. Great, a Soul Train reject, with a Robin Hood complex.
Undercover Brother
34. In fact, you know what they call me back home? You're gonna love this...The Lone Free Ranger!
Chicken Run
35. "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." The benefits of a classical education.
Die Hard
36. You can’t fool me! There is no sanity clause!
A Night at the Opera
37. No thank you. We are dressed in our best and are prepared to go down as gentlemen. But, We would like a brandy.
Titanic
38. Mr. Laurio, never trust a beautiful woman, especially one who's interested in you.
X2
39. Trumpy...you can do magic things!
Pod People
40. You was my brother, Charley, you shoulda looked out for me a little bit. You shoulda taken care of me just a little bit so I wouldn't have to take them dives for the short-end money.
On the Waterfront
41. Or else Pizza...will send out for you!
Spaceballs
42. Every time I put my line in the water I said a Hail Mary, and every time I said a Hail Mary I caught a fish.
The Godfather, Part II
43. You can not make friends with the rock stars. That's what's important.
Almost Famous
44. Of course, he was a Harvard graduate. That might be grounds for justifiable homicide.
Rope
45. Sew, old woman, sew! Like the wind!
¡Three Amigos!
46. What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
Arthur.
A Hard Day’s Night
47. Oh, it's about this woman who's incredibly - well, she's a hostess and she's incredibly confident and she's going to give a party. And, maybe because she's confident, everyone thinks she's fine... but she isn't.
The Hours
48. Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? 'Cause of the leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we'd all be put out in K.P.
Good Morning Vietnam
49. Tell them I was murdered by my mathematics tutor; they'll never believe you in any case!
The Seven Percent Solution
50. Hey, what's your name?
Davis.
Mine's McCardle. Well, so long.
12 Angry Men
