Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Stupid trees...blocking my view of the forest!
I hate report card night. Especially the first report card night of the year. Why? Because everyone is shocked to learn that little Johnny and little Suzie, whose warm smiles and ability to suck up got them passed along (socially promoted) in middle school suddenly no longer work on this anal-retentive white guy who's teaching their ninth grade science class. Report card night runs from 5:30-7:30. I got home at 9 this evening feeling angry, tired, and exhausted.
The biggest problem for me this evening was a group of about 6-10 parents who were there in protest of my seating policy. Now I have assigned seats in my classroom. Students are aware of this. I inform them of it regularly. Sit in your assigned seat or you will be marked absent. But what if student A sits in student B's chair? Student B informs me, the teacher, and I ask them to move. They don't. Customarily, I know better than to pick a major fight over the issue. So I tell them that both will be marked absent, figuring that common sense will play out and both will realize that they should just go where they're supposed to go. That group of parents I mentioned earlier though got very angry and said this was unfair and raised all sorts of holy hell...one guy even had the gall (or perhaps the insight?) to tell me that if I can't control my students, I may not be meant for this line of work. But seriously...they want me to throw kids out over this? Call security? In the long run, it's a number on a report card...and not even the most important number.
Because all those parents who were bitching and moaning...every single one...had a student who failed my class. Whose grades were piss poor. And the parents will blame me. And the students will blame me. Because, they'll say, I can't control my class. And they may be right. But at least I know what's important...teaching. The act of teaching and in the students' case, the act of learning. And even if my seating policy is flawed, as I eventually was forced to admit under the cold gaze of the mob of angry parents, at least I try to teach everyday.
How many of those students can say they are actually trying to learn?
I nearly broke down in front of those parents...exasperated and angry. What the hell do you want from me, damn it?!? I just want to do my job. You wonder why turnover is so high when teachers are given such moronic flak from parents who can't see the forest from the trees? Because I don't. Not anymore.
I hate report card night. Especially the first report card night of the year. Why? Because everyone is shocked to learn that little Johnny and little Suzie, whose warm smiles and ability to suck up got them passed along (socially promoted) in middle school suddenly no longer work on this anal-retentive white guy who's teaching their ninth grade science class. Report card night runs from 5:30-7:30. I got home at 9 this evening feeling angry, tired, and exhausted.
The biggest problem for me this evening was a group of about 6-10 parents who were there in protest of my seating policy. Now I have assigned seats in my classroom. Students are aware of this. I inform them of it regularly. Sit in your assigned seat or you will be marked absent. But what if student A sits in student B's chair? Student B informs me, the teacher, and I ask them to move. They don't. Customarily, I know better than to pick a major fight over the issue. So I tell them that both will be marked absent, figuring that common sense will play out and both will realize that they should just go where they're supposed to go. That group of parents I mentioned earlier though got very angry and said this was unfair and raised all sorts of holy hell...one guy even had the gall (or perhaps the insight?) to tell me that if I can't control my students, I may not be meant for this line of work. But seriously...they want me to throw kids out over this? Call security? In the long run, it's a number on a report card...and not even the most important number.
Because all those parents who were bitching and moaning...every single one...had a student who failed my class. Whose grades were piss poor. And the parents will blame me. And the students will blame me. Because, they'll say, I can't control my class. And they may be right. But at least I know what's important...teaching. The act of teaching and in the students' case, the act of learning. And even if my seating policy is flawed, as I eventually was forced to admit under the cold gaze of the mob of angry parents, at least I try to teach everyday.
How many of those students can say they are actually trying to learn?
I nearly broke down in front of those parents...exasperated and angry. What the hell do you want from me, damn it?!? I just want to do my job. You wonder why turnover is so high when teachers are given such moronic flak from parents who can't see the forest from the trees? Because I don't. Not anymore.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Human Pong
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving was destined to be an interesting day. With a holiday on the horizon, poor weather predicted on the television, and a field trip on the agenda, there were not suposed to be very many students in class. Consequently, I was in the weird position of wanting to teach a lesson, but not being able to follow the core curriculum, because what would be the point with half the students out? i'd have to go back and reteach the lesson anyway. Instead, I introduced a somewhat relevant topic connected with my students' math classes--converting between Celsius, Fahrenheit, and Kelvin.
I'll admit, it's not the most exciting stuff, but a few kids really got into the material...I think they liked having a problem they knew they could solve. There were a few kids however, who refused to conisder th epossibility of work on a day before a holiday.
I had assumed this would be the case and in honor of the holiday decided to come up with a creative way of dealing with the situation. An English teacher on the other side of the building and I made a deal. We shared a few students. If one of the children got a little out of hand, we would write a pass for him to visit the other teacher's room. This is old news. Nothing exciting. But...the fun part was, we decided to keep it going. Pass him back and forth. A game of human pong...with a disruptive and hyperactive student as the ball.
And last period, I set the game in motion when one of my whinier kids refused to pay attention, sat in the wrong seat, and frankly pushed the wrong buttons for a teacher after a long day of teaching. I wrote him a pass, called up my friend and told him (basically) that the game was on. We sent the student back and forth between us twice. He went, came back, I made him return to the other room to get a note...when he came back, I caleld my colleague and on his advice sent him off to Room 453. A room which does not exist.
He caught on to that, so I wrote him a pass after apologizing profusely, to Room 129B. Another room which does not exist.
By the time the school police caught up with him...45 minutes had passed. The student was exhausted. I welcomed him back to my room and he sat quietly in the back for the rest of the period.
Worked so well...I'm going to have to try it again sometime. But maybe I'll change it from Pong to Pinball next time... :-)
Oh...yeah, I went back to New England this past weekend for my high school reunion. More on that trip later.
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving was destined to be an interesting day. With a holiday on the horizon, poor weather predicted on the television, and a field trip on the agenda, there were not suposed to be very many students in class. Consequently, I was in the weird position of wanting to teach a lesson, but not being able to follow the core curriculum, because what would be the point with half the students out? i'd have to go back and reteach the lesson anyway. Instead, I introduced a somewhat relevant topic connected with my students' math classes--converting between Celsius, Fahrenheit, and Kelvin.
I'll admit, it's not the most exciting stuff, but a few kids really got into the material...I think they liked having a problem they knew they could solve. There were a few kids however, who refused to conisder th epossibility of work on a day before a holiday.
I had assumed this would be the case and in honor of the holiday decided to come up with a creative way of dealing with the situation. An English teacher on the other side of the building and I made a deal. We shared a few students. If one of the children got a little out of hand, we would write a pass for him to visit the other teacher's room. This is old news. Nothing exciting. But...the fun part was, we decided to keep it going. Pass him back and forth. A game of human pong...with a disruptive and hyperactive student as the ball.
And last period, I set the game in motion when one of my whinier kids refused to pay attention, sat in the wrong seat, and frankly pushed the wrong buttons for a teacher after a long day of teaching. I wrote him a pass, called up my friend and told him (basically) that the game was on. We sent the student back and forth between us twice. He went, came back, I made him return to the other room to get a note...when he came back, I caleld my colleague and on his advice sent him off to Room 453. A room which does not exist.
He caught on to that, so I wrote him a pass after apologizing profusely, to Room 129B. Another room which does not exist.
By the time the school police caught up with him...45 minutes had passed. The student was exhausted. I welcomed him back to my room and he sat quietly in the back for the rest of the period.
Worked so well...I'm going to have to try it again sometime. But maybe I'll change it from Pong to Pinball next time... :-)
Oh...yeah, I went back to New England this past weekend for my high school reunion. More on that trip later.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Oh Rodney, Where Art Thou?
Due to the district mandated benchmark tests last Friday, I had to postpone my lesson on mass, weight, and the solar system until today. Despite some concerns about classroom management, I really liked the activity, which allowed students to calculate their weight on different planets as well as how far they could jump under different gravitational conditions. (What kid wouldn't want to know how far he could jump on the moon?)
So today, I set things up with a quick intro. lecture and then they were off and running...or perhaps better stated, off and jumping. First and second period, the students were not really engaged...but by third period (right after lunch), they were so full of energy that I asked them to work in the hallway. And of course, as one might expect, they were noisy. Perhaps too noisy. Thus when the special education teacher from across the hall asked me to quiet them down, I was more than willing to comply.
"Folks, we need to quiet down..." I said loudly. "the special ed. office is holding meetings and we need to be quiet for them!"
And they quieted down a little, and all seemed at least somewhat right with the world. Until after class. When, as I was picking up my trash, the special ed. teacher from earlier came across the hall and told me that she was offended by my comments.
OFFENDED? BY WHAT?!? "You sounded condescending and like you were trying to single out the special ed. office as being at fault when we're really just sharing the hallway..."
I was shocked...I'm still shocked. Seriously, I may be paraphrasing the quoted comments from my special ed. colleague, but mine are almost verbatim. I apologized quickly, but that wasn't quite good enough. She just walked away offended and unwilling to accept that I honestly meant no disrespect in any way. I have enough trouble with the students in my school...why go out of my way to offend fellow faculty?
The real shame of it is though, that none of this would happen if I weren't trying to go out of my way to engage students who otherwise would have trouble grasping a tricky concept like mass v. weight. If I didn't need to accommodate a slew of different learning modalities and utilize techniques commonly suggested for (dare I say it) special education/learning support classes, then I never would have been in the hallway in the first place! Some of the students out there probably even had individual education plans...how dare I come under fire for trying to acquiesce to a request while simultaneously attempting to interact with my students and get them excited about science.
Ah, Mr. Dangerfield you had it right. No respect...no respect at all.
Due to the district mandated benchmark tests last Friday, I had to postpone my lesson on mass, weight, and the solar system until today. Despite some concerns about classroom management, I really liked the activity, which allowed students to calculate their weight on different planets as well as how far they could jump under different gravitational conditions. (What kid wouldn't want to know how far he could jump on the moon?)
So today, I set things up with a quick intro. lecture and then they were off and running...or perhaps better stated, off and jumping. First and second period, the students were not really engaged...but by third period (right after lunch), they were so full of energy that I asked them to work in the hallway. And of course, as one might expect, they were noisy. Perhaps too noisy. Thus when the special education teacher from across the hall asked me to quiet them down, I was more than willing to comply.
"Folks, we need to quiet down..." I said loudly. "the special ed. office is holding meetings and we need to be quiet for them!"
And they quieted down a little, and all seemed at least somewhat right with the world. Until after class. When, as I was picking up my trash, the special ed. teacher from earlier came across the hall and told me that she was offended by my comments.
OFFENDED? BY WHAT?!? "You sounded condescending and like you were trying to single out the special ed. office as being at fault when we're really just sharing the hallway..."
I was shocked...I'm still shocked. Seriously, I may be paraphrasing the quoted comments from my special ed. colleague, but mine are almost verbatim. I apologized quickly, but that wasn't quite good enough. She just walked away offended and unwilling to accept that I honestly meant no disrespect in any way. I have enough trouble with the students in my school...why go out of my way to offend fellow faculty?
The real shame of it is though, that none of this would happen if I weren't trying to go out of my way to engage students who otherwise would have trouble grasping a tricky concept like mass v. weight. If I didn't need to accommodate a slew of different learning modalities and utilize techniques commonly suggested for (dare I say it) special education/learning support classes, then I never would have been in the hallway in the first place! Some of the students out there probably even had individual education plans...how dare I come under fire for trying to acquiesce to a request while simultaneously attempting to interact with my students and get them excited about science.
Ah, Mr. Dangerfield you had it right. No respect...no respect at all.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Amoral or Just Stupid?
Remember that robotics competition in Alabama? I mentioned it a few posts ago. The advisor for the robotics team happens to be my homeroom's math teacher. Since she went south for the tournament, a long term sub was called in to cover her class. I spoke with the guy from time to time. He seemed pleasant enough.
Imagine my surprise when on Thursday afternoon he informed me that one of my students had been throwing things. Now thrown objects are not entirely unheard of in my room. Paper balls and such are relatively common. This went beyond that though... filled bottles, erasers. So far, so good...well not good, but at least understandable.
My jaw only hit the jaw when he mentioned the desk.
Yes.
A student had thrown...A DESK! His response was clear, go and get security and take the student away. The suspension was immediate and I doubt I will be seeing that student before Thanksgiving.
The following day, my students were talking about the incident. Putting on a veneer of innocent ignorance, I asked my students what had happened when one of them (the biggest pain in the neck of the remaining students) explained to me what had happened, making fun of the sub and saying that he was a coward and a wimp and so on and so forth (he used slightly stronger language of course). And when I asked why, he said it was because he ran out just because a desk was thrown toward him.
"You probably would have done the same thing..." he said to me.
"Maybe I would, " I said. "But wait a moment...someone threw a desk at him, and you don't understand why he might be a little upset?"
"Yeah..."
"Someone threw a DESK!?!"
"Yeah, but it wasn't going to hit him. Well, it might have..."
Staying calm. Deep breath. One more time.
"BUT SOMEONE THREW A DESK!?!"
But the rest of the class just stared at me quietly like I was the crazy one and the use of desks as projectiles was a completely logical and understandable custom...
I wonder how this will sound at my high school reunion in a few days.
Remember that robotics competition in Alabama? I mentioned it a few posts ago. The advisor for the robotics team happens to be my homeroom's math teacher. Since she went south for the tournament, a long term sub was called in to cover her class. I spoke with the guy from time to time. He seemed pleasant enough.
Imagine my surprise when on Thursday afternoon he informed me that one of my students had been throwing things. Now thrown objects are not entirely unheard of in my room. Paper balls and such are relatively common. This went beyond that though... filled bottles, erasers. So far, so good...well not good, but at least understandable.
My jaw only hit the jaw when he mentioned the desk.
Yes.
A student had thrown...A DESK! His response was clear, go and get security and take the student away. The suspension was immediate and I doubt I will be seeing that student before Thanksgiving.
The following day, my students were talking about the incident. Putting on a veneer of innocent ignorance, I asked my students what had happened when one of them (the biggest pain in the neck of the remaining students) explained to me what had happened, making fun of the sub and saying that he was a coward and a wimp and so on and so forth (he used slightly stronger language of course). And when I asked why, he said it was because he ran out just because a desk was thrown toward him.
"You probably would have done the same thing..." he said to me.
"Maybe I would, " I said. "But wait a moment...someone threw a desk at him, and you don't understand why he might be a little upset?"
"Yeah..."
"Someone threw a DESK!?!"
"Yeah, but it wasn't going to hit him. Well, it might have..."
Staying calm. Deep breath. One more time.
"BUT SOMEONE THREW A DESK!?!"
But the rest of the class just stared at me quietly like I was the crazy one and the use of desks as projectiles was a completely logical and understandable custom...
I wonder how this will sound at my high school reunion in a few days.
Doing the Right Thing
On Thursday morning, right in the middle of advisory (what we old fogeys used to call "homeroom"), my department chair dropped by to chat. Apparently his superiors, both in the school and down at district HQ were upset that no one had given or scanned the mandatory benchmark exams, which are intended to see how closely students are adhering to the newly implemented core curriculum. I had planned to give mine sometime this week, after my students had at least been exposed to a little more of the material on astronomy, but that was no longer an option. The district had sent representatives to the school to make sure we were on task, and their message was clear: heaven help you if your benchmarks weren't canned by Friday afternoon.
So I give my benchmark. The thing is about 20 questions long...multiple choice and to give you an idea of how nitpicky they can be, on the first benchmark students were asked where their hometown was on Pangaea before the continents separated. (East coast? West coast? In this case the old saying applies...it don't matter!) Unfortunately it was as bad, if not worse, this time around. Because in order to stay on track even slightly with the district's curriculum, I had cut a few of the more time intensive labs. Of course my students wouldn't know how to answer the question on core samples...I had to cut the core sample lab! They had no clue about red and blue shift because we hadn't gotten there yet. And although we had introduced the solar system the day before, they had not completed the book work to know many (if any) specific details about the various planets...which had been my lesson plan for Friday in the first place!
The school district where I work is very well meaning. I have no doubt of that. But getting my students to be quiet while taking an exam where they don't know the answers is well nigh impossible. And forcing me to teach them faster than they can understand it, only encourages the former situation to develop. And let's not forget the greater emphasis on hands-on activities, which while fine in theory, necessarily take more time...time that could be spent keeping the students busy and on track with the core curriculum.
Verged on to a rant there for a moment, didn't I? Well here's why. Today I'm trying to do some long term lesson planning. And the breakdown is not great. I have a 3 day week this week. For all intents and purposes, this is really a 2 day week because of a field trip on Wednesday. Then comes Thanksgiving and a well deserved 4 day weekend. Due to the vagaries of the calendar system, I will then have nearly 4 weeks until winter recess (the P.C. term for Christmas break, which is what it really is).
Now...during those 4 weeks, I have a few options:
1. Finish covering the astronomy/cosmology unit at my current pace, wrapping it up in approx. 1.5-2 weeks.
or Finish covering the astronomy/cosmology unit by scrapping star formation, the big bang, etc., and ending it in 1 week.
2. Teach the environmental science unit as written in the core curriculum, taking 15 school days. (3 weeks!) and bringing me to vacation or cutting it down. Or scrapping it entirely.
3. In that latter case, introducing physics before winter break...which probably is where I should be in the first place. But if I do that, then environmental is ditched and you KNOW that will show up in detail on a benchmark.
The scenarios are more coherently outlined below:
Scenario 1
Week 1: Astro.
Week 2: Astro. (wrapup)
Week 3: Env. Sci.
Week 4: Env. Sci.
(Start physics right after winter break)
Scenario 2
Week 1: Astro.
Week 2: Astro. (wrapup)
Week 3: Env. Sci. (quick)
Week 4: Intro. Physics
Scenario 3
Week 1: Astro. (quick/wrapup)
Week 2: Env. Sci.
Week 3: Env. Sci.
Week 4: Intro. Physics.
Scenario 4
Week 1: Astro.
Week 2: Env. Sci.
Week 3: Physics
Week 4: Physics
Frankly, I see no really good option. If I could scrap environmental with no repercussions, I would consider it. But if the point is to raise scores on the benchmarks, then they need to be exposed to it, even briefly. On the other hand both astronomy and environmental science are sidetracking my class from its real mission which is introducing students to physics and chemistry...so perhaps Scenario 4 is the best of the worst, at least so far as my department chair and the district are cocnerned. But then what do I cut? The Big Bang? The Origins of the Solar System? Black Holes? Hertzprung-Russell? And what about environmental science?
I would personally prefer to start physics right after winter break. But I don't know if that's the right thing to do, for myself, for my students, or for the administration. Which assumes, of course, that there is a right thing to do at all...
On Thursday morning, right in the middle of advisory (what we old fogeys used to call "homeroom"), my department chair dropped by to chat. Apparently his superiors, both in the school and down at district HQ were upset that no one had given or scanned the mandatory benchmark exams, which are intended to see how closely students are adhering to the newly implemented core curriculum. I had planned to give mine sometime this week, after my students had at least been exposed to a little more of the material on astronomy, but that was no longer an option. The district had sent representatives to the school to make sure we were on task, and their message was clear: heaven help you if your benchmarks weren't canned by Friday afternoon.
So I give my benchmark. The thing is about 20 questions long...multiple choice and to give you an idea of how nitpicky they can be, on the first benchmark students were asked where their hometown was on Pangaea before the continents separated. (East coast? West coast? In this case the old saying applies...it don't matter!) Unfortunately it was as bad, if not worse, this time around. Because in order to stay on track even slightly with the district's curriculum, I had cut a few of the more time intensive labs. Of course my students wouldn't know how to answer the question on core samples...I had to cut the core sample lab! They had no clue about red and blue shift because we hadn't gotten there yet. And although we had introduced the solar system the day before, they had not completed the book work to know many (if any) specific details about the various planets...which had been my lesson plan for Friday in the first place!
The school district where I work is very well meaning. I have no doubt of that. But getting my students to be quiet while taking an exam where they don't know the answers is well nigh impossible. And forcing me to teach them faster than they can understand it, only encourages the former situation to develop. And let's not forget the greater emphasis on hands-on activities, which while fine in theory, necessarily take more time...time that could be spent keeping the students busy and on track with the core curriculum.
Verged on to a rant there for a moment, didn't I? Well here's why. Today I'm trying to do some long term lesson planning. And the breakdown is not great. I have a 3 day week this week. For all intents and purposes, this is really a 2 day week because of a field trip on Wednesday. Then comes Thanksgiving and a well deserved 4 day weekend. Due to the vagaries of the calendar system, I will then have nearly 4 weeks until winter recess (the P.C. term for Christmas break, which is what it really is).
Now...during those 4 weeks, I have a few options:
1. Finish covering the astronomy/cosmology unit at my current pace, wrapping it up in approx. 1.5-2 weeks.
or Finish covering the astronomy/cosmology unit by scrapping star formation, the big bang, etc., and ending it in 1 week.
2. Teach the environmental science unit as written in the core curriculum, taking 15 school days. (3 weeks!) and bringing me to vacation or cutting it down. Or scrapping it entirely.
3. In that latter case, introducing physics before winter break...which probably is where I should be in the first place. But if I do that, then environmental is ditched and you KNOW that will show up in detail on a benchmark.
The scenarios are more coherently outlined below:
Scenario 1
Week 1: Astro.
Week 2: Astro. (wrapup)
Week 3: Env. Sci.
Week 4: Env. Sci.
(Start physics right after winter break)
Scenario 2
Week 1: Astro.
Week 2: Astro. (wrapup)
Week 3: Env. Sci. (quick)
Week 4: Intro. Physics
Scenario 3
Week 1: Astro. (quick/wrapup)
Week 2: Env. Sci.
Week 3: Env. Sci.
Week 4: Intro. Physics.
Scenario 4
Week 1: Astro.
Week 2: Env. Sci.
Week 3: Physics
Week 4: Physics
Frankly, I see no really good option. If I could scrap environmental with no repercussions, I would consider it. But if the point is to raise scores on the benchmarks, then they need to be exposed to it, even briefly. On the other hand both astronomy and environmental science are sidetracking my class from its real mission which is introducing students to physics and chemistry...so perhaps Scenario 4 is the best of the worst, at least so far as my department chair and the district are cocnerned. But then what do I cut? The Big Bang? The Origins of the Solar System? Black Holes? Hertzprung-Russell? And what about environmental science?
I would personally prefer to start physics right after winter break. But I don't know if that's the right thing to do, for myself, for my students, or for the administration. Which assumes, of course, that there is a right thing to do at all...
Monday, November 15, 2004
Fragmented Thoughts...
Over the past few weeks I've had tons of minor incidents that were nearly the subject of postings, but fell by the wayside. I suppose this is the nature of life that there are simply too many details for a person to keep total track of...unless that person happens to be a Joyce or Proust. Being neither, I find myself unfortunately bound to only reflect briefly on these incidents in a scattershot pattern...like a jigsaw puzzle dumped out of a box. Perhaps I'll find a pattern in the mishmash, but perhaps it's more like a Rohrscach blot and the pattern exists only in my mind.
Consider:
A student slamming my door shut, opening it, kicking it shut, opening it again, and kicking it shut again before storming off...the reason? Unknown. Could it be the fight with the class's smartest student? Could it be my veiled suggestion he might have cheated on a quiz? I don't know. I don't care. He's suspended.
A student first period asks me if I have a girlfriend...offers to set me up with a mathematician or a scientist. A Harvard girl with an MBA. Later is heard to remark to a friend, "who would ever want him?" Says the fat, ignorant, foul-mouthed bundle of behavior issues to the reasonably well-educated science teacher.
Am I the only one who believes students should sit an assigned seat? And if not, how the hell do the others get them to just stay put? It's like frickin' musical chairs most days. I mark students absent if they aren't in their seats, but still... I know in high school , most of us could handle sitting in a desk the teacher assigned. At least for an hour.
My students nearly came to blows today over which zodiac sign was the best. Also, they're still highly amused by the zodiac sign Cancer.
Why do overhead bulbs blow out so damn quickly? Perhaps I over use the machine...but at the same time, imagine how class would be if I had to put up notes on the board?
Lab? We have a lab? Why did I ever tell them we have a lab?!?
I'm not old enough for this job, at least physically. My students have been raised to respect their elders. Not their teachers. Their elders. Now most of the time these two groups intersect, but I am not old enough...at least in appearance. I tell them to sit down, and they don't give a damn. And again the issue of consequences...why should they sit down? They don't care.
They don't care. I'm tired of gastropods who come to my room, ooze around, but do no actual work. Make no attempt to learn. Sit, socializing with their fellow slugs. I long for the educational equivalent of salt to poor on their poor shell-less, brain-less bodies. Sadly, this remains only in the metaphoric stage.
I like the idea of students applying for jobs for extra credit...but I really need to tweak the application form a little more. Also, I can't announce the positions until I know exactly what they are. Like will I have a book manager? If so, where will the books go? I have a cart...but it's broken. Perhaps it will be fixed tomorrow.
And the desk I left outside my room on Friday (also broken) was still there this morning. Even though you can flip the top up due to several missing bolts. It's like something out of The Chocolate War.
Speaking of which, The Chocolate War....very underrated book. Don't disturb the universe, Goober, no matter what the posters say.
My trip to Rutgers and proctoring the SATs two weekends ago (the latter where I read The Chocolate War) threw off my regular schedule. Wasn't enough laundry to do on Sunday.
Oh, and speaking of SATs...how odd to see a group of students actually sit quietly through a 3.5 hr. test! Respectfully, quietly, all in rows. It was beautiful.
If I could only get the italics to turn off, maybe I could end this thing...
Oh to hell with it.
(end communication)
SK
Over the past few weeks I've had tons of minor incidents that were nearly the subject of postings, but fell by the wayside. I suppose this is the nature of life that there are simply too many details for a person to keep total track of...unless that person happens to be a Joyce or Proust. Being neither, I find myself unfortunately bound to only reflect briefly on these incidents in a scattershot pattern...like a jigsaw puzzle dumped out of a box. Perhaps I'll find a pattern in the mishmash, but perhaps it's more like a Rohrscach blot and the pattern exists only in my mind.
Consider:
A student slamming my door shut, opening it, kicking it shut, opening it again, and kicking it shut again before storming off...the reason? Unknown. Could it be the fight with the class's smartest student? Could it be my veiled suggestion he might have cheated on a quiz? I don't know. I don't care. He's suspended.
A student first period asks me if I have a girlfriend...offers to set me up with a mathematician or a scientist. A Harvard girl with an MBA. Later is heard to remark to a friend, "who would ever want him?" Says the fat, ignorant, foul-mouthed bundle of behavior issues to the reasonably well-educated science teacher.
Am I the only one who believes students should sit an assigned seat? And if not, how the hell do the others get them to just stay put? It's like frickin' musical chairs most days. I mark students absent if they aren't in their seats, but still... I know in high school , most of us could handle sitting in a desk the teacher assigned. At least for an hour.
My students nearly came to blows today over which zodiac sign was the best. Also, they're still highly amused by the zodiac sign Cancer.
Why do overhead bulbs blow out so damn quickly? Perhaps I over use the machine...but at the same time, imagine how class would be if I had to put up notes on the board?
Lab? We have a lab? Why did I ever tell them we have a lab?!?
I'm not old enough for this job, at least physically. My students have been raised to respect their elders. Not their teachers. Their elders. Now most of the time these two groups intersect, but I am not old enough...at least in appearance. I tell them to sit down, and they don't give a damn. And again the issue of consequences...why should they sit down? They don't care.
They don't care. I'm tired of gastropods who come to my room, ooze around, but do no actual work. Make no attempt to learn. Sit, socializing with their fellow slugs. I long for the educational equivalent of salt to poor on their poor shell-less, brain-less bodies. Sadly, this remains only in the metaphoric stage.
I like the idea of students applying for jobs for extra credit...but I really need to tweak the application form a little more. Also, I can't announce the positions until I know exactly what they are. Like will I have a book manager? If so, where will the books go? I have a cart...but it's broken. Perhaps it will be fixed tomorrow.
And the desk I left outside my room on Friday (also broken) was still there this morning. Even though you can flip the top up due to several missing bolts. It's like something out of The Chocolate War.
Speaking of which, The Chocolate War....very underrated book. Don't disturb the universe, Goober, no matter what the posters say.
My trip to Rutgers and proctoring the SATs two weekends ago (the latter where I read The Chocolate War) threw off my regular schedule. Wasn't enough laundry to do on Sunday.
Oh, and speaking of SATs...how odd to see a group of students actually sit quietly through a 3.5 hr. test! Respectfully, quietly, all in rows. It was beautiful.
If I could only get the italics to turn off, maybe I could end this thing...
Oh to hell with it.
(end communication)
SK
Sunday, November 14, 2004
B$3,132.60
All this talk in the news recently about Microsoft's recent launch of a search engine intended to compete with Google made me realize that it had been a long time since I had engaged in that most narcissistic of Internet procrastinations, the self-google. "Where can one find The Invisible Ben on the web?" I thought to myself...and proceeded to google away to my heart's content.
I typed in "Invisible Ben", and since I was feeling lucky, indicated such by clicking on the appropriate button on the Google engine. And lo and behold, I was brought here!
Huzzah...now to see how far my luck could be stretched.
Back to google, this time, not feeling quite as lucky, so just a regular search.
The top two sites were both mine.
The fifth involved an Invisible Chinese Woman...not named Ben, I'm willing to guess.
It's the third and fourth that were most interesting.
Apparently my blog is a traded commodity on Blogshares. (The title of this post is my market value as of the end of last month.) And apparently, without my knowledge, two people have seized control of 80% of my shares! Who are you Shade and Kenny Tay? Who are you and what is the sinister game into which you have you dragged this blog?
I'm not offended really...more like surprised. But probably not as surprised as some of my other friends will be that their blogs are also on the market. Dave's Progress Report, for example...or The Sleeper Cell. The Sleeper in particular will not be pleased to see his blog involved in a simulated capitalist economy.
No sir, he will not.
In any case, I found it amusing. Here's hoping for a bullish week...with a minimum of bull from students.
All this talk in the news recently about Microsoft's recent launch of a search engine intended to compete with Google made me realize that it had been a long time since I had engaged in that most narcissistic of Internet procrastinations, the self-google. "Where can one find The Invisible Ben on the web?" I thought to myself...and proceeded to google away to my heart's content.
I typed in "Invisible Ben", and since I was feeling lucky, indicated such by clicking on the appropriate button on the Google engine. And lo and behold, I was brought here!
Huzzah...now to see how far my luck could be stretched.
Back to google, this time, not feeling quite as lucky, so just a regular search.
The top two sites were both mine.
The fifth involved an Invisible Chinese Woman...not named Ben, I'm willing to guess.
It's the third and fourth that were most interesting.
Apparently my blog is a traded commodity on Blogshares. (The title of this post is my market value as of the end of last month.) And apparently, without my knowledge, two people have seized control of 80% of my shares! Who are you Shade and Kenny Tay? Who are you and what is the sinister game into which you have you dragged this blog?
I'm not offended really...more like surprised. But probably not as surprised as some of my other friends will be that their blogs are also on the market. Dave's Progress Report, for example...or The Sleeper Cell. The Sleeper in particular will not be pleased to see his blog involved in a simulated capitalist economy.
No sir, he will not.
In any case, I found it amusing. Here's hoping for a bullish week...with a minimum of bull from students.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Sour Grapes (or Tell no Whine Before Its Time)
Some of you faithful readers out there may recall that I was involved in the formation of the Underwood High School Robotics Team last year. This despite a complete lack of training, programming skills, and serious student commitment. In the end meetings devolved into attempts to customize robots so they looked like insects or other creations using shortcuts to program in funky dance maneuvers and so forth. Of the five students who regularly showed up, two or three were always fooling around, and I had to constantly remind them that they were in the computer lab to program robots not surf the web or check e-mail.
Based partly on my experience last year, but more on the increased time commitment pressure I would be under this fall (2 grad courses, some leadership stuff with friends downtown, 5 classes instead of 3 and so forth), I decided to bow out from the robot game for the time being especially when another teacher volunteered to take up the challenge. Not only that, but she thought we could involve our kids in an ambitious program inovlving robot construction with real servos, motors, electronics, and so forth. Almost too ambitious, I thought, and decided to decline when asked to be co-sponsor.
So of course what happens next? The Underwood High School robotics team goes off and wins the state competition!
I'm simultaneously very proud of my former students (a few of whom are still on the team) and annoyed at myself for (I think) obvious reasons. Of course the team does well...now that I'm not involved!
Petty? I know. But you don't come here simply for calm, reasoned explanations of everything...do you?
Some of you faithful readers out there may recall that I was involved in the formation of the Underwood High School Robotics Team last year. This despite a complete lack of training, programming skills, and serious student commitment. In the end meetings devolved into attempts to customize robots so they looked like insects or other creations using shortcuts to program in funky dance maneuvers and so forth. Of the five students who regularly showed up, two or three were always fooling around, and I had to constantly remind them that they were in the computer lab to program robots not surf the web or check e-mail.
Based partly on my experience last year, but more on the increased time commitment pressure I would be under this fall (2 grad courses, some leadership stuff with friends downtown, 5 classes instead of 3 and so forth), I decided to bow out from the robot game for the time being especially when another teacher volunteered to take up the challenge. Not only that, but she thought we could involve our kids in an ambitious program inovlving robot construction with real servos, motors, electronics, and so forth. Almost too ambitious, I thought, and decided to decline when asked to be co-sponsor.
So of course what happens next? The Underwood High School robotics team goes off and wins the state competition!
I'm simultaneously very proud of my former students (a few of whom are still on the team) and annoyed at myself for (I think) obvious reasons. Of course the team does well...now that I'm not involved!
Petty? I know. But you don't come here simply for calm, reasoned explanations of everything...do you?
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Slow Burn
The end of the marking period is drawing near and like clockwork, my students are becoming increasingly disruptive, fitting into roles with a precision meshing normally seen outside Switzerland. Every student has their role in the mechanism--joker, whiner, scribbler, clown--and right around now, November, when the light is low and the weather gets cold, the students start to really feel their oats. So what if it's the end of the marking period? Grades go in next week and they don't give a darn!
Well...that is not quite true.
They do give a darn, it just so happens that they won't do their homework either. Call it extra credit and the kids will claw their way over their own mothers to get it done, but call it homework and the papers might as well be made of brussel sprouts.
But lord knows they'll do other interesting things, things that might not get under every teacher's skin, but for some reason wriggle under mine.
Yesterday, for example, I basically stood in front of my third period class for about 30 minutes waiting for them to be quiet so that I could teach. Since no one had done their homework (bring in a weather page from the newspaper), it was already impossible to do my original lesson plan, where students would work in partners to analyze meteorological symbols. But instead of trying to have an actual discussion, or do a demonstration, or something, I just had them copy notes while I returned old work. Yeah, it was boring...but I delivered my material to most of the kids. Ignoring of course the ones who somehow got their hands on a tube of Ben-Gay and started sneakily putting on each other's skin as they worked. First they'd complain about the cold, then the burning....(I've never used the stuff, but all the ads lead me to suppose that meant the stuff was at least doing its job!)
The Ben-Gay incident was just another thing on the pile this week. Stacked on top of the tampon incident, the STD urine sample incident (isn't it great to go to a schol where 100-150 students already have chlamydia?), and of course the fistfight in my first period class, where students claimed, as always, that they were just playing...
I sent both students to disciplinary probation, of course one of them came back with a lie saying that she had been sent back, which was fine with me...I just e-mailed her aunt with a full report of her behavior.
Individually, these incidents, though stupid, though fantastically annoying, would possibly be bearable...but having them all at once? This week was just me burning alive....slowly.
Oh and regarding the election (another bit of frustration resulted from my attempt to teach kids how polling works), I yield the floor to Rufus T. Firefly:
The last guy nearly ruined this place.
He didn't know what to do with it.
If you think the country's bad off now...
Just wait 'til I get through with it!
The end of the marking period is drawing near and like clockwork, my students are becoming increasingly disruptive, fitting into roles with a precision meshing normally seen outside Switzerland. Every student has their role in the mechanism--joker, whiner, scribbler, clown--and right around now, November, when the light is low and the weather gets cold, the students start to really feel their oats. So what if it's the end of the marking period? Grades go in next week and they don't give a darn!
Well...that is not quite true.
They do give a darn, it just so happens that they won't do their homework either. Call it extra credit and the kids will claw their way over their own mothers to get it done, but call it homework and the papers might as well be made of brussel sprouts.
But lord knows they'll do other interesting things, things that might not get under every teacher's skin, but for some reason wriggle under mine.
Yesterday, for example, I basically stood in front of my third period class for about 30 minutes waiting for them to be quiet so that I could teach. Since no one had done their homework (bring in a weather page from the newspaper), it was already impossible to do my original lesson plan, where students would work in partners to analyze meteorological symbols. But instead of trying to have an actual discussion, or do a demonstration, or something, I just had them copy notes while I returned old work. Yeah, it was boring...but I delivered my material to most of the kids. Ignoring of course the ones who somehow got their hands on a tube of Ben-Gay and started sneakily putting on each other's skin as they worked. First they'd complain about the cold, then the burning....(I've never used the stuff, but all the ads lead me to suppose that meant the stuff was at least doing its job!)
The Ben-Gay incident was just another thing on the pile this week. Stacked on top of the tampon incident, the STD urine sample incident (isn't it great to go to a schol where 100-150 students already have chlamydia?), and of course the fistfight in my first period class, where students claimed, as always, that they were just playing...
I sent both students to disciplinary probation, of course one of them came back with a lie saying that she had been sent back, which was fine with me...I just e-mailed her aunt with a full report of her behavior.
Individually, these incidents, though stupid, though fantastically annoying, would possibly be bearable...but having them all at once? This week was just me burning alive....slowly.
Oh and regarding the election (another bit of frustration resulted from my attempt to teach kids how polling works), I yield the floor to Rufus T. Firefly:
The last guy nearly ruined this place.
He didn't know what to do with it.
If you think the country's bad off now...
Just wait 'til I get through with it!
