Tales of the Invisible Ben

And the walls came a-tumblin' down... We all put up walls in our lives. The separation between work and home. The divide between family and friends. In teaching, these mental barriers serve to separate the teachers from the students. When you let these barriers slide, you leave yourself vulnerable, open to disappointment and anger. Student insults that should normally roll off the skin stick instead like barbs, and student lack of motivation is amplified, retransmitted, and received by the instructor. I consider myself fortunate that up to today, I had not let my control slip before my students. I rarely lashed out at individuals and could care less about the ingrates and reprobates who were sprinkled throughout my classes. But today that ended. I'm not sure why. I really don't. But between the constant disruptions, the probing questions, the insults, the put downs, and the general idiocy, it got through. To the point where I basically told students to get out of my room, I was tired of teaching them. Why was today different than any other day? Was it a poorly designed lesson? Maybe. Rocks and minerals can be boring. I admit that. But I tried to give examples...they threw (and subsequently shattered) my rock samples and kept asking to hold my Play-Doh models of sedimentary and metamorphic rock. Why was it that my last period class featured not only people fighting in front of the doorway, not only students littering my floor and not picking up after themselves, but also 20 minutes of fully wasted time. 20 minutes I stood there.......just waiting. "You're wasting your own time." I told them eventually. "Your families pay taxes to the city of Philadelphia to keep these schools open...you are wasting their money with this behavior." Yeah, right...logic has no effect. Rational arguments don't work. I went after my first period class to visit a family friend who also happens to be Underwood's school psychologist. She offered little solace, but some good advice. Maybe I need to get out of here after all... I don't know. Esp. if the rumors of an international baccalaureate program come to fruition. More on that forthcoming as events develop....