Tuesday, January 07, 2014
Long Belated Answers to Long Forgotten Questions
Happy 2014, Invisible Readership!
I know some of you are surprised to see me back again so soon, given how recently I posted the latest edition of my annual movie quote contest. Normally, I would withhold from posting a few weeks to give people sufficient time to identify this year's batch of cinematic bon mots. While that plan definitely holds for the 2013 contest, a friend (perennial contest winner Analecta) reminded me recently that in the midst of last year's perfect storm of job applications, undergraduate teaching, and academic research, I somehow forgot to post the answers for 2012!
So I'm going to take advantage of a spare moment on the coldest day in this fair city's history to thaw out last year's movie quote contest and provide the long delayed answers.
2. “Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not 'every man for himself,' and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.”
4. “Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?”
6. “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep.”
7. “Honestly, Bill, that child hasn't got a clue about my life, not a single clue.”
8. “Wish you could see the headlines, 'British agent murders beautiful Russian spy, then commits suicide.'”
9. “I would have never done it, Lisbeth. But I understand why you did. I don't know what you have experienced. But I was about to die in that cellar, and you saved my life. Whatever you have seen, you don't need to tell me. I'm just happy that you're here.”
12. “Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?”
13. “If you didn't see him... he's there.”
16. “I call them the Strangers. They abducted us and brought us here. This city, everyone in it, is their experiment.”
17. “But I don't want to be miniaturized!”
18. “You will soon be a King, you must start to think like one. Any man can kill, only a King can give life!”
19. “Oh, sir. I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting! I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.”
20. “I don't know my way home.”
21. “I'm not sure George is wrong about automobiles. With all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization. May be that they won't add to the beauty of the world or the life of the men's souls, I'm not sure. But automobiles have come and almost all outwards things will be different because of what they bring.”
22. “They talk about flat-footed policemen. May the saints protect us from the gifted amateur.”
23. “I'm having a rough time. As long as I was lying to her, everything was fine. The minute I decided to do the right thing and marry her, I've had troubles. You wouldn't believe the complications. It's like waltzing in wet cement.”
24. “Hate is a very exciting emotion. Haven't you noticed? Very exciting. I hate you too, Johnny. I hate you so much I think I'm going to die from it. Darling...I think I'm going to die from it.”
25. “Even if this was not a law, which it is, I'm afraid I would have a lot of difficulty endorsing an enterprise which is as fraught with genuine peril as I believe this one to be. Besides the liquor and the drugs which always seem to accompany such an event the thing that distresses me even more, Ren, is the spiritual corruption that can be involved.”
26. “I decided to come to camp, because I've never been much of a person. I thought maybe coming to camp would help me grow up, and maybe make me into a leader. I could use leadership qualities.”
27. “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.”
28. “I taught some of the stupidest children God ever put on the face of this earth, and all of them could read well enough to find a name on a tombstone.”
29. “I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too.”
30. “As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.”
31. “Fifty pounds! A very worthy sum on a very worthy question. Can a play show us the very truth and nature of love? I bear witness to the wager, and will be the judge of it as occasion arises. I have not seen anything to settle it yet.”
32. “I'm an architect for Christ's sake! I build 50 story skyscrapers. I assemble cities of the future. I can certainly put together a goddamn diaper!”
33. “We're not so different, you and I. We've both spent our lives looking for the weakness in one another's systems. Don't you think it's time to recognize there is as little worth on your side as there is on mine?”
34. “I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being.”
35. “Heterochromia was in reference to your eyes which I have to say are stunning. One green, one blue. It's a mutation. It's a very groovy mutation.”
36. “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
37. “The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback...ME!”
38. “A game-legged old man and a drunk. That's all you got?”
39. “So of all the toys in the store you wanted a friend. If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.”
40. “Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.”
41. “I catch you lookin' at my wife's 'Pongo Pygmaeus' once more, I'm gonna break you in half.”
42. “What's this for? For being an honest cop?...Or for being stupid enough to get shot in the face? You tell them that they can shove it."
43. “I'm applying for a villain loan. I go by Vector. It's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, because I commit crimes with both direction and magnituide. Oh yeah!”
44. “Mary Anne, you listen to this. 'You didn't beat nobody and anybody who knows boxing knows the fight was fixed.' This one came from London. 'You call yourself the champ? You're a fake! The fight was a fake. Go kill yourself!'”
46. “Admirable, my Lord. You, who would soon rule the world, allow a ghost to frighten you.”
47. “Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.”
49. “The same pictogram, showing men worshiping giant beings pointing to the stars was discovered at every last one of them. The only galactic system that matched, was so far from earth, that there's no way that these primitive ancient civilizations could have possibly known about. But it just so happens, that system has a sun, a lot like ours.”
50. “Marvin...what do we do now?”
The Candidate
(0) comments
I know some of you are surprised to see me back again so soon, given how recently I posted the latest edition of my annual movie quote contest. Normally, I would withhold from posting a few weeks to give people sufficient time to identify this year's batch of cinematic bon mots. While that plan definitely holds for the 2013 contest, a friend (perennial contest winner Analecta) reminded me recently that in the midst of last year's perfect storm of job applications, undergraduate teaching, and academic research, I somehow forgot to post the answers for 2012!
So I'm going to take advantage of a spare moment on the coldest day in this fair city's history to thaw out last year's movie quote contest and provide the long delayed answers.
1.
“May
the odds be ever in your favor.”
The Hunger Games
2. “Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not 'every man for himself,' and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.”
A Fish Called Wanda
3.
“Of
course, you won't be able to lie on your back for a while, but then
you can lie from any position, can't you?”
Charade
4. “Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?”
Lost in Translation
5.
“Reference department, Miss Blair. Oh, yes, we've looked that up
for you, and there are certain poisons which leave no trace, but it's
network policy not to mention them on our programs."
Desk Set
6. “A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep.”
Cinderella
7. “Honestly, Bill, that child hasn't got a clue about my life, not a single clue.”
Freaky Friday
8. “Wish you could see the headlines, 'British agent murders beautiful Russian spy, then commits suicide.'”
From Russia With Love
9. “I would have never done it, Lisbeth. But I understand why you did. I don't know what you have experienced. But I was about to die in that cellar, and you saved my life. Whatever you have seen, you don't need to tell me. I'm just happy that you're here.”
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
10. “You
mean...I'm a...I'm a janitor?”
“Why
of course not! My boy, you are a WB-1074 apprentice janitor!”
The Reluctant Astronaut
11. “Whoa,
she's already got him! Now, let's see how long it takes her to hogtie
this sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot. Five seconds!
Just five seconds! And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, five
seconds for Miss Doralee Rhodes!”
Nine to Five
12. “Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?”
“Because
it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more.”
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
13. “If you didn't see him... he's there.”
Danger: Diabolik!
14. “A
hero can be anyone. Even a man doing something as simple and
reassuring as putting a coat around a little boy's shoulders to let
him know that the world hadn't ended.”
The Dark Knight Rises
15. “It
is my understanding that the Constitution of the United States allows
everybody the free choice between cheesecake and strudel.”
Guys and Dolls
16. “I call them the Strangers. They abducted us and brought us here. This city, everyone in it, is their experiment.”
Dark City
17. “But I don't want to be miniaturized!”
“It's
just for an hour.”
“Not
even for a minute!”
Fantastic Voyage
18. “You will soon be a King, you must start to think like one. Any man can kill, only a King can give life!”
El Cid
19. “Oh, sir. I saw it! Some angry member of the kitchen staff, Did you not tip them? Oh, the terrorists! They ran that way. It was a run-by fruiting! I'll get them, sir. Don't worry.”
Mrs. Doubtfire
20. “I don't know my way home.”
“That's
okay. I don't either.”
Straw Dogs
21. “I'm not sure George is wrong about automobiles. With all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization. May be that they won't add to the beauty of the world or the life of the men's souls, I'm not sure. But automobiles have come and almost all outwards things will be different because of what they bring.”
The Magnificent Ambersons
22. “They talk about flat-footed policemen. May the saints protect us from the gifted amateur.”
Dial M for Murder
23. “I'm having a rough time. As long as I was lying to her, everything was fine. The minute I decided to do the right thing and marry her, I've had troubles. You wouldn't believe the complications. It's like waltzing in wet cement.”
Cactus Flower
24. “Hate is a very exciting emotion. Haven't you noticed? Very exciting. I hate you too, Johnny. I hate you so much I think I'm going to die from it. Darling...I think I'm going to die from it.”
Gilda
25. “Even if this was not a law, which it is, I'm afraid I would have a lot of difficulty endorsing an enterprise which is as fraught with genuine peril as I believe this one to be. Besides the liquor and the drugs which always seem to accompany such an event the thing that distresses me even more, Ren, is the spiritual corruption that can be involved.”
Footloose
26. “I decided to come to camp, because I've never been much of a person. I thought maybe coming to camp would help me grow up, and maybe make me into a leader. I could use leadership qualities.”
“You
could say that again, Chuck. You couldn't lead a dog on a leash.”
Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown
27. “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.”
Animal Crackers
28. “I taught some of the stupidest children God ever put on the face of this earth, and all of them could read well enough to find a name on a tombstone.”
Driving Miss Daisy
29. “I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too.”
Hugo
30. “As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.”
Gone With the Wind
31. “Fifty pounds! A very worthy sum on a very worthy question. Can a play show us the very truth and nature of love? I bear witness to the wager, and will be the judge of it as occasion arises. I have not seen anything to settle it yet.”
Shakespeare in Love
32. “I'm an architect for Christ's sake! I build 50 story skyscrapers. I assemble cities of the future. I can certainly put together a goddamn diaper!”
Three Men and a Baby
33. “We're not so different, you and I. We've both spent our lives looking for the weakness in one another's systems. Don't you think it's time to recognize there is as little worth on your side as there is on mine?”
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
34. “I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being.”
Stand By Me
35. “Heterochromia was in reference to your eyes which I have to say are stunning. One green, one blue. It's a mutation. It's a very groovy mutation.”
X-Men: First Class
36. “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
Brokeback Mountain
37. “The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback...ME!”
The Longest Yard
38. “A game-legged old man and a drunk. That's all you got?”
Rio Bravo
39. “So of all the toys in the store you wanted a friend. If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend, Eric, you earn a friend through love and trust and respect.”
The Toy
40. “Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.”
Con Air
41. “I catch you lookin' at my wife's 'Pongo Pygmaeus' once more, I'm gonna break you in half.”
Dunston Checks In
42. “What's this for? For being an honest cop?...Or for being stupid enough to get shot in the face? You tell them that they can shove it."
Serpico
43. “I'm applying for a villain loan. I go by Vector. It's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, because I commit crimes with both direction and magnituide. Oh yeah!”
Despicable Me
44. “Mary Anne, you listen to this. 'You didn't beat nobody and anybody who knows boxing knows the fight was fixed.' This one came from London. 'You call yourself the champ? You're a fake! The fight was a fake. Go kill yourself!'”
Rocky II
45. “Brace
yourself, sisters. Spread out and look for Mary Clarence. Try to
blend in.”
Sister Act
46. “Admirable, my Lord. You, who would soon rule the world, allow a ghost to frighten you.”
Throne of Blood
47. “Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it.”
The Avengers
48. “Gentlemen
of the court, there are times that I'm ashamed to be a member of the
human race and this is one such occasion.”
Paths of Glory
49. “The same pictogram, showing men worshiping giant beings pointing to the stars was discovered at every last one of them. The only galactic system that matched, was so far from earth, that there's no way that these primitive ancient civilizations could have possibly known about. But it just so happens, that system has a sun, a lot like ours.”
Prometheus
50. “Marvin...what do we do now?”
