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Monday, July 31, 2006

From the Unblogged Files of the Invisible Ben: Day #1 (An August Event)

Look at that calendar, kids! It's the last day of July. Summer school ended last Friday so all of those students who bombed my physical science class have earned that elusive course credit. Five weeks seems like a short time to make up a full year's worth of curriculum material, but obviously the point of the exercise is not to inculcate any semblance of new knowledge. The educational system just keeps on chugging along, shoving kids through no matter how little they know.

Of course there will be a few students who actually do gain something from the experience, but after an additional month of summer school, their minds will be wiped clean. I suppose that was the logic behind this Georgia decision to start school at the beginning of August. Personally, I'm torn on the matter. Part of me says that shorter breaks could indeed facilitate greater knowledge, but another part thinks that people deserve to have a summer, and I'm not just talking about the kids. Vacations are equally necessary for the teachers and administrators who run our schools. They provide them with time to reflect on the previous year and prepare for the next, not to mention some valuable moments to rest and organize themselves.

Which is part of what I've been meaning to do all summer, since I will be moving to a new locale in connection with my new graduate program. At the end of the school year, I put together a small folder of documents and material that I had been meaning to blog about during the past few months but had never had time to post. This week, I intend to post them all.

To begin with, I thought I would post the following note that one of my colleagues in the math department wrote for us after being picked on one too many times by the more clueless and nitpicky of our two vice-principals, the one who asked the math teachers why students were not being productive following the conclusion of their final exams. (Her solution? Have them make their own board games!)

The note is by no means original. In fact my grandfather quoted part of it to me during a wedding reception last weekend. That does not diminish from its applicability to nearly any situation involving bureaucracies and hierarchies, be they political, social, or educational.

He who knows and knows that he knows is wise...seek him.
He who knows and knows not that he knows is simple...tell him.
He who knows not and knows that he knows not is willing...teach him.
But he who knows not and knows not that he knows not is a fool...shun him.


I leave it to my readers to guess which of the four cases above represents your typical high school administrator.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Damn you, Jack Bauer!

One of my major goals this summer has been to teach myself French, at least to the point where I can read texts with the aid of a dictionary. This is the required level of foreign language proficiency at my new graduate program, so I've been trying to spend at least a few hours everyday working on it. Typically I'll go to either the bookstore or the library to work, the only downside being that after I finish a chapter in my workbook I frequently feel tempted to look at all the nice DVDs, CDs, and books they have for sale/checkout.

It was on one of these trips that I discovered the first season of 24, on DVD, available for free perusal. And I thought to myself, it's summer! People have told me this is a good show! I'll try watching it. What's the worst that could happen?

Well I will tell you right now, people. The ordinary viewer was not meant to watch a full season of 24 in the library's prescribed DVD turnaround time of one week. A show, playing out in real time, and meant to take 17 hours to watch is not healthy for the human brain to digest over such a short period. The senses can not handle that many plot twists, double crosses, and back stabs. I would never think to buy it, but 24 has proven itself to be among the most addictive and compelling programs on the market right now. It's the visual equivalent of crack cocaine. And the library is just lending it out...for free! It's insidious!

I've now watched two seasons of this show. They have two more at the library. It's not safe for me to go there anymore. They have two more seasons on DVD available for me to borrow. Two more seasons of political intrigue, intense gunplay, and Kiefer Sutherland yelling at people to "drop the weapon, now!" Damn you, Jack Bauer! My hopes of having a productive summer may be at an end...

Or are they?

(cut to digital timer ominously ticking away seconds)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Human Pong

Didn't I suggest something like this in November 2004?
I think I did...just not quite as literally.
One can only wonder how long it took these folks to make this movie.


Friday, July 14, 2006

Hip to Be a Square

Longtime friends and readers of this blog know that I like to take some time out on Bastille Day to reflect on events of the past year. This is not because I am a devout francophile nor due to some irrational obsession with the films of Ingmar Bergman, but for an entirely selfish and narcissicistic reason. Today is my birthday.

I consider myself fortunate to have a birthday whose date is relatively easy to remember. As someone who intends to live to the ripe old age where he might actually begin to have trouble remembering salient details about his life like where he grew up (It was somehwere in New England...or was it in the Mid-Atlantic?), where he went to college (Was it Yale? Princeton? Both? Neither?), and so on, having a birthday that coincides with a well known historical event or two is rather helpful. Not to mention the fact that the date is twice that of the month. And did you know that on leap years the 14th of July is the 196th day of the calendar year...and that 196 is 14 squared? Yes, all in all, a numerically pleasing day indeed.

The mathematical fun quotient is especially great for me today because for the first time since 1997, I am celebrating a perfectly square birthday. Today I am 25, which as some have pointed out to me is one of the last birthdays in a while which is not intrinsically depressing. I have been alive a full quarter of a century. Happy silver anniversary of me! As of today I am old enough to run for Congress! I can rent a car! My car insurance rates should finally go down! Life is good...or so it would seem.

Are there any downsides? Well, not in and of themselves. Biologically, I'm still in what could be considered my physical and psychological prime, all my bits and pieces are still in working order. But 25 is a significant year because it is another traditional endpoint for one's youth, a milestone indicating that it's about time to stop thinking about what you want to be when you grow up and actually start growing up. Personally, I've had about enough of the growing up I've had to do, especially during the past three years. Teaching was a large part of it. Dealing with all the madness in my classroom meant having to either toughen one's skin or curl up under one's desk and hide. But there's more...there's the feeling of having responsibilities of one's own. Bills to pay. Groceries to buy. All of that stuff.

Which is not to say that I've been unsuccessful or even that I'm truly unhappy with the way things have turned out. But it seems that as people like me move towards achieving the traditional American dream, with a roof over our head, a good job, and all the mindless television programs that our little brains can stand, that we have to defer a few of our other dreams and ambitions. And I know I'm not alone here. It's like Neal Stephenson wrote in Snow Crash:

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.

The Invisible Ben used to feel that way too, but then he realized that he could not and almost certainly would never be Batman. Or James Bond. Or the Dread Pirate Roberts. Or any of those swashbuckling, gadget-toting, heroic types...brooding, gritty, determined men with boundless courage and battle-forged cunning who always beat the bad guy, get the girl, and save the day. (Not necessarily in that order!) Perhaps every guy feels this way, that twenty-five is the end of fantasy and the start of reality. The anniversary upon which one slams into the true nature of the world and his place in it like a tomato against the side of a battleship. This is when we start to feel old.

This can be a painfully rude awakening, but ultimately, at least for me, I think it's for the best that I've started to move towards a more permanent career in academia rather than sticking with the Sisyphean fun of inner city high school teaching. And despite the fact that I will likely never be a multimillionaire playboy with a private arsenal and a knowledge of twelve different martial arts, my life right now is pretty damn good. I have a family who loves me and with whom I get along the majority of the time. I have a wonderful girlfriend who actually appreciates my sense of humor...if you can believe that. I have a solid group of friends, both old (high school/college folk) and new (5 time pub trivia champions so far this summer!). And I'm starting a relatively well-respected Ph.D. program in the fall! All in all, not too shabby!

Granted...I know, I'll never be a rock star, an astronaut, a secret agent, or some combination of the three. But today, as I turn twenty-five, I remain content in the knowledge that it is perfectly acceptable to just be...well...me. Why feel old? As my grandfather told me last weekend, once you start feeling old you're putting one foot in the grave and are just waiting to die. I'm twenty-five years young and I'm not perfect. But who is? I've still got plenty of time to work out the kinks.

Happy Bastille Day, ladies and gentlemen, and thank you so much for reading. Here's to another great year!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Blog Roll Roll Call!

Some quick changes to the Invisible Blogroll:

The Baritenor appears to have moved to his very own server!

The Skiing Chemist has apparently started his own blog. Check out his Comeback in the 2nd Quarter Century.

And meanwhile...back at the Blog of Justice...this guy is writing the crazy pop-culture related stuff you wish you had the guts to include in your little corner of the Interweb.

The Sideshow By the Seashore has folded, kids. But as my old sensei used to say: Excellence Makes Wack Irrelevant!

Mz. Smlph disappeared! But don't worry...we found her again!

And several blogs appear to be official dead (no updates in 1 year). So I've marked them as such on the side.

If there are blogs that I'm missing or if you want your blog link removed, just let me know. That "E-mail the author" link on the side is not just for show, you know.

Hindsight is 20-20

So apparently, the Invisible Ben is a rather visible idiot. Approximately two weeks ago I posted the results of my students' beginning of the year goal setting activities and commented on how smart it would have been to have them reflect on the class at the end of the year, not just at the beginning. Wouldn't that provide a more meaningful analysis of their perspective?

Well...what I had forgotten was that in the last full week of school, when attendance had diminished to less than 50%, I gave my remaining students an end of year class evaluation form. Although the results compiled below are by no means a comprehensive survey, they do provide some insight into what my classroom looked at from the other side of the teacher's desk.

General Physical Science
End of Year Evaluation Form-June 2006


1. What are three things you enjoyed about this class?

2. What are three things you did not like about this class?

3. What are three things you would change to improve this class?

4. If you have other comments about the class, please write them below.

Quick Reflections on my Part
1. Some of these comments were to be expected. Students liked experiments. They did not like homework, especially homework on weekends!
2. On the other hand, some of these comments really surprised me. Students didn't like the classroom decorations? Or our beloved (albeit deceased) classroom pets? Who knew?
3. Major student likes: experiments, the ability to use notes on exams, classroom games, and surprisingly, the teacher.
4. Major student dislikes: inconsistent classroom management, loud/disrespectful students, and a lack of creative lesson planning.
5. Regarding the primary complaint students had about the class, i.e. bad classroom management, I only wish the Underwood administration would be supportive of the student's suggested disciplinary recourse for disruptive students...throwing them out of the room. Unfortunately, this was publicly discouraged at professional development meetings, although some teachers did it anyway. The irony is that by following this rule, I ended up unable to stop students from breaking my own!
6. Perhaps the most frustrating comments to read were not from the kids telling me to grow a spine, but rather the few that wished they could do more with the time they had. These kids recognized, finally, that time management was truly important and that the more people talked the less learning they actually got done. If only the entire freshman class could be taught this early in the year!
7. One other frustration? The kids who complained about temperature issues in my classroom. I've gone into this at length before, but I wish I could take all of my students aside and for the last time explain that I do NOT control the fact that my classroom had a northeastern exposure!
8. This is running long, even for me, so I'll wrap up with my favorite comment, the one that makes me smile the most:
"I want your class again."
Yes, that one's the best...hands down, easily beating the ones that compliment me personally. Because ultimately, despite the heat, the smells, the lack of a bathroom pass or pencil sharpener, the daily (and weekend) homework assignments, the tests, the quizzes, the messes, the yelling, my lack of control, and everything else that kids could complain about, someone liked my class. And they liked enough to want to take it again. Reading that makes me realize that maybe, despite my doubts, the freshmen did take something away.


There's hope for at least a few of them yet.

Friday, July 07, 2006

The Coolest Patriotic Poem Ever

Ok, so this is slightly delayed, but there's a reason for it. The 4th of July has always been one of my favorite federally mandated observances. I like that it's the first holiday after the traditional end of the school year in June. I like American history and America in general, despite all of the things that have gone wrong in this country's name or on this country's watch. I like barbeque. I like fireworks. I like that the fanfare to Star Wars is officially classified as patriotic music.

And in cities across the country, there are concerts and parades and other such things. For most of the day on the 4th, I was attending a party downtown with a view of that evening's fireworks/concert event. Seeing a lot of good friends was nice, and I learned how to play a new game that apparently has taken southwestern Ohio by storm, but otherwise let's just say the musical act didn't leave me dancing on the ceiling. (And I could have seen 70s super group Foreigner instead...I suppose everything is 20-20 when you have DOUBLE VISION!)

Anyhow, later on in the week I was reading about the Revolution some on Wikipedia and stumbled upon the following patriotic poem. I'm a big fan. It's a full 14 line sonnet, but each line is an anagram of its title! And it still maintains its rhyme scheme!

So here it is. Consider it the official kickoff to the blogging summer season where postings are not limited to the world of teaching!

Washington Crossing the Delaware
by David Schulman

A hard, howling, tossing water scene.
Strong tide was washing hero clean.
"How cold!" Weather stings as in anger.
O Silent night shows war ace danger!

The cold waters swashing on in rage.
Redcoats warn slow his hint engage.
When star general's action wish'd "Go!"
He saw his ragged continentals row.

Ah, he stands - sailor crew went going.
And so this general watches rowing.
He hastens - winter again grows cold.
A wet crew gain Hessian stronghold.

George can't lose war with's hand in;
He's astern - so go alight, crew, and win!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Reflections I Promised...

During the first week of school, I asked all of my students to think for a moment and determine a personal goal for their new science class. The answers were then sealed and filed away until the last week of school. Although student attendance dwindled near the end of the year, those students who were present did receive their responses. Many of them had forgotten what they wrote and opened them up as though they were fragile artifacts from the distant past...which in a way they were! Many students left their papers behind however, or simply were not there to collect them in the first place. Rather than throw them out unread and unacknowledged, I decided to open them up and see what they wrote. Their responses are presented below, uncut and unedited. Were I to do this again, I would probably ask them to reflect whether or not they actually fulfilled the objectives they set for themselves at the start of the year, just like I will sometime down the line.

General Physical Science
September 9, 2005
Goal Setting Activity

Question: Take a few minutes to think of a personal goal for this class, something that you feel is important to you. (You can not use "I want to pass this class." Be more specific!) What is your personal goal. List three things that you plan to do this year to reach your goal.

Student Responses:
1. My goal this year is to get in 10 grade and to do a lots of thing with my life.

2. My personal goal is to get out of this school and move on and to go to colleng and get out of there and be a nires.

3. To help one another if they need help and mess with them.

4. My Goals for this class is
A To Be A A student.
B To Get A, A or B this hold school year.
C One more thing stay on tasks.

5. For this class, I want to accomplish more se more expermint stuff the invole science do different think have in actully expermint. I wnat to become mbetter than what I arlaedy am. Have high standard this year I want to focous and pay altentin an be all that I can Be. That my goals.

6. Not to be so playful like I was last year.
3 things is: 1) is not to talk so much.
2) Do my work.
3) Do not set next to people is going to make me do things.

7. My goal in this class is to find out thing dealing with science I did not know before I came here. Also to get A’s in this class for every marking period.
Thing I will do to achieve my goal:
1. I will listen in class so that I can learn new things.
2. I will do all my assignments in class and homework.
3. A I will study and do all projects.

8. I would like to have good behavior and average over 87% in science and turn in all my homework. The way I will acheive my goal is by listening. I will also stop playing around so much.

9. I want to get a B or A in GPS and play for ‘Wood football team and make them greater. Also learn! And do some fun experiments where I learn something new.

10. I would like to complete a chemistry project we do and get 0 or above in science class. I can work hard and stay on task and focus. I can also pay attention to the chemistry lab stuff.

11. I want to learn as much about science as Mr. ________ can teach me. I would pay attention in class, do all my work, do lots of projects, read up on science, and turn in all my work on time or earlier.

12. I would like to score over 85% in science class. I can do all my projects, homework, classwork, an do nows. I well complete evem assignment.

13. My personal goal in science class is to do all of my work properly and pass near the top of my class. One way I can do this is by studying hard, completing all of my assignemtns, and taking my time and not rush through the work.

14. The thing that’s important to me is to do all of my assiments. My goal is to do all of my homework and always do right on my test.

15. My goal for science class is to score at least a 80% average. I will achieve this goal by: #1 Turning in all of my assignemnts. 2. I will also make an effort to score high on all my exams.

16. I would like to earn no lower than a C but would like to have a B. Not playing in class and do all my work.

17. I would successful do what I can to earn a 80% or higher average to pass this class.
1. Focus in class right.
2. If I need more time see him after school.

18. I will like to earn exleast 80% or higher in science class & I”ll like to pass to 9th grade & go to tenth. Then after high school, go to college & get a good education.

19. Goal- My goal for Mr. ________ class and I would like to get more involved with science so that i can get higher scores on my do nows and test grades.

2 ways I can go about getting them is by studing hard and coming ready to learn to strive for nothing less then the best. Sept. 2005

20. My goal is to ask as many questions as I can so I can learn more about science because I don’t know much. My goal is also to reach a stander of A’s + B’s. The way I going to this is pay attenchien in class and work hard and do a lot of reasech.

21. I want to lean about the weather, and learn about all different types of chiemical reactions. I will!!! get over a B grade in this class. How: I will!!! complete evry assingmest assinged to me.

22. My gole is to get and mantain a 3.0 grade point aveige. I whant to find out how to chimty.
yo what’s up Dee I just whant you to do your best alright.

23. I would like to compleat science with a B or higher also I want to learn as much as possible.

24. My goal in this class is two be able to understand what I am doing. It is to be able to know science very well. I would reach that goal by: listening, paying attention and answering questions.
I’m pasting the 9th grade.

25. To have a “C” or above in math.
1. Study harder.
2. Pay more attention.
3. Do more homework.

26. I goal that is important to me about this class is to learn more about science and why things work the way the work.
1. Pay attention in class.
2. Do all my homework.
3. Do all my school work.
Fi-Fi HOLLA BACK. P.S. I know your reading this.

27. I want to get a A or a B because I am weak in science. My personal goal is to get to college.

28. I would like to set a goal for this class that I get a B. I know I cant get a A but a B I think I cant. I plan to do all my homework, learn as much as I can, and get good test greads.

29. A personal goal for this class is to do everything you are told to do and listen and follow directions so you can past but not only so you can use this information in the past. My personal goal is to be a professional hip-pop dancer and/or a fashion designer. The 3 things I have to do is to:
1. Keep my grads up.
2. Stay out of trouble.
3. Work my hardest to be the best I can be.

30. Goals for this class is to move up not only in this class but in life I will:
work hard
listen
correct mistake from recent years

31. I want to be able to pass but also truly learn something from this class. Try to perfect my art. Second study. Third get my education first.

32. My personal goal for this year is:
1. to be able to get a lot out of science.
2. to be able to pass with an A and say I’ve earn this A.
3. to be able to say next year that Mr. ______ class is the best.

1. By that I mean pay attention.
2. By that I mean do all my homework+listen +be respectful.
3. Be friendly with teacher I have for 8 months.

33. To complete all assighnment and to listen and to learn enw things. My personal goal is to be succfull in life.
1. Being healthy.
2. Passing school.
3. High paying job.

34. My personal goal for this class is to do my best make good grades and make my mom proud of me and my hard work.

35. The goal I’ve set for physical science is to learn all I need to know about science, also so I can be able to not only pass all my test, but also to be able to answer all scientific questions that may come along in life. The 3 plans I plan to do to help reach my goal is to pay close attention, read all books and directions, and to write plenty of notes.

36. In this class I want to: pass and get all A’s so that I can get out of here. Also I want to learn every I can, so this calss will help me get to the next grade. So this means I want to:
Get an A
learn what I can
know a lot about GPS.

37. My personal goal for this class is to get an A on everything I do so I can get a better grade then last year.
1. Pay attention
2. Take notes and study.
3. Do all assignments.

38. 1. Don’t get into trouble.
2. Get A’s or B’s in this class.
3. Turn in all my homework.

39. 1. Go to the 10 grade.
2. Get good grades
3. To be good.

40. I can do all of the work. I can come to class on time. Give other respect if you want respect back.

41. I want to learn more about science and pass it. I want to be nice to my teacher and not mean.

42. I believe that this class can get a goal if they try hard. I will like to play ball in here.

43. My personal goal is to do better in physical science. Try to be an A student and have good grades be the best I can and respect my teacher.

44. I think the goal this class should have is to make it to 12 grade with all good grade and for the try not to make and babies and do make the babies.

45. *List*
1. Read more.
2. Make efforts
3. Ask question.


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