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Friday, July 30, 2004

Movin' on up...

Just a quick FYI, blogging will be probably be on hiatus for the next few days until I have moved into my new apartment and regained Internet access.

From the Department of Possessed Rodents

Man, you can find some crazy stuff online before going to work...stuff like The Exorcist in 30 Seconds.

Yes...those are bunny rabbits.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

How many volumes of the Encyclopedia Britannica can dance on the head of a pin?

Having nearly completed two full weeks of nanotechnology research for my summer project, I have discovered a fascinating conversational phenomenon. Most of my teaching colleagues are not working over the summer. Those that are have been primarily focusing on summer school, the rest have left the city and are off on vacation doing their own thing. In any case, when they run into me after work, they ask me what's new, how things have been going, and so forth, and eventually somewhere between the idle smalltalk and the mindless chitchat the subject of my summer pursuits comes up. Well, I tell them I'm doing research at the university down the road, hoping beyond all hope that they won't ask any more questions, but the inevitable followup (for practical reasons, I suppose) comes soon after...

"Oh, research? On what?"

So I tell them nanotechnology, and that's where that phenomenon I mentioned rears its ugly head. The person with whom I'm conversing will hear the word, pause for a moment, run through their personal mental definitions of the subject based on past exposure, and then try to move the conversation along as fast as possible to areas where they feel more authoritiative. Generally this manifests as a cordial pleasantry: "Oh...nice." is a typical one. Or "Wow! How interesting." Few people ask for more details, but how many of them really care about the morphology of carbon nanotube composites as ascertained using FTIR and Raman spectroscopy? Maybe there's just too many syllables. Na-no-tech-no-lo-gy. Six . Can the human brain accept that many separate sounds in a single word while immersed in the context of a social situation? (All you would-be linguists out there should test this sometime by casually inserting words like praseodymium or phenomenology into your daily discourse.)

More likely, the issue is that people either do not know about nanotech or see no reason to care. I fear that a similar phenomenon will take place when I attempt to introduce them to the subject in the fall. (And before you ask why that is necessary, it's part of the requirements of the program...) To that end, I thought I would point out arguably the first and best introduction to the subject you will ever need, written by one of my personal scientific heroes, Richard Feynman. Feynman notes that we look at things all the time on the big scale, the macroscopic. We don't look at the details, the little things, the microscopic, the nanoscopic, and beyond. And the fascinating thing is that there are always new things to learn about the world, even at that tiny, inperceptible level beyond normal perception. Could this also be a commentary on how one might do better, not just in science, but also in life if one looks below the surface?

Perhaps...but if all the philosophies of the world drag you down...if you're feeling cut up and hurt, and worried that we've done everything and there's nothing new or wonderful to discover, remember what Feynman said...There's Plenty of Room At the Bottom.


Monday, July 26, 2004

The Godfather, Part IIa: Havana Nights

Last night, after an expedition to a friend's yard sale, I received an invitation to attend a nearby cookout. Our host, a vegetarian, had kindly decided to make her makeshift grill available for the cooking of both herbivorous and carnivorous entrees, meaning that slices of lemon garlic eggplant rested side by side with hamburgers over the hickory fire. All well and good so far as an evening's entertainment was concerned, but then I learned that the remainder of the evening was to be spent watching a movie. And not just any movie. Oh, no...they had already called the video store. It would have to be Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.

Now, I fought the choice as long as I could...but with a majority female audience, it was something of a losing battle and besides, as one friend noted, there are 11 copies of the DVD at the store! So, the girls went and picked up the movie, while the other male in the audience and I braced ourselves for the inevitable by watching old Simpsons episodes. ("We Germans aren't all smiles und sunshine.")

I have seen bad movies before, and compared to most people have a high tolerance for them. Sometimes, I have even gone out of my way to seek them out. (Who can forget the marvel that was Dungeons and Dragons? Or The Avengers?) Movies that are painfully bad are fun to watch...plain and simple.

Well...DD:HN was not as outright bad as say, Manos...The Hands of Fate or Pod People. I don't think I'd even list it among such pieces of modern drek as Van Helsing (I don't care what my sister says on this point.) or King Arthur. But, think about it. It's a sequel, made a good decade and a half after the original, but set five years in the past. The plot, such as it is, is uninspired at best and painfully hackneyed at worst. Gee, could the quiet, bookish girl possibly catch the attention of both the stuck-up WASP son of her father's boss and the humble (but lovable) Cuban waiter? Will said waiter be her partner in her dance contest? Will the heroine learn that all things are possible if you can finally accept her fear to be who she truly is?

Perhaps the best question I can ask about this movie is why, as you might guess from the title, is this movie set in Havana? And not just Havana, but Havana in 1958, just as the revolution is coming. Honestly, I'm not sure. We do not see any protests per se, just a handful of angry Cubans, token revolutionaries out to kick out Batista for reasons left...vague. I guess the best answer is that the choice of setting adds some emotional poignancy to the New Year's Eve final dance contest. (I kept hoping Castro would appear, in a stunning cameo, as a dance judge...)

To be honest, it made me far happier as I watched the credits roll to think that somewhere, in that same city, at the same time, and just a few hotels away, Michael Corelone was giving his brother Fredo a kiss for his betrayal of the family business.

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Five Top Fives--The 1993 Edition

Note: As with all ratings and lists, these are completely arbitrary and hold no actual significance whatsoever. Nonetheless, it's a fun exercise.

A. Top Five Songs from Billy Joel: The Complete Hits Collection
1. The Stranger
2. Piano Man
3. And So It Goes
4. My Life
5. Leningrad

B. Top Five Songs from Billy Joel: The Complete Hits Collection that I had never heard before buying the collection
1. An Innocent Man
2. Goodnight Saigon
3. Pressure
4. Keeping the Faith
5. Just the Way You Are

C. Top Five Songs that for some reason were not included on Billy Joel: The Complete Hits Collection.
1. Prelude/Angry Young Man
2. Miami 2017
3. Zanzibar
4. Running on Ice
5. All for Leyna

D. Five Favorite Batman: The Animated Series Episodes from the new Volume 1 DVD.
1. Heart of Ice
2. Two Face (Parts 1&2)
3. The Clock King
4. Mad as a Hatter
5. Appointment in Crime Alley

E. Five Most Silly Master Robots from the Megaman Series (as rediscovered during my attempt to beat the Megaman Anniversary Collection).
1. Top Man
2. Centaur Man
3. Clown Man
4. Napalm Man
5. Toad Man

Friday, July 23, 2004

Personality Test Trifecta

Why stop at states? Let's go for the hat trick.


What book am I?:



You're Ulysses!

by James Joyce

Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.


Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.




And what country am I?




You're the United Kingdom!


You're a much weaker person than you used to be, but you still act like you did when everyone looked up to you. Despite this, you're probably a better person than you were when you had so much power over those around you. Though you do have a strange fascination with jewels and monarchs, which lets you play in castles, but also end up leading a sort of tabloid lifestyle. You really like the Beatles, even more than you like Oasis.

Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid


You can take the Ben out of Connecticut...

Thanks to SeƱor Orangepants for pointing out this nifty 6 question State Quiz .

I wasn't even trying to sway the results... :)




You're Connecticut!

You have a great deal to do with whales and, when an observer squints, even look a little like one. Even though you don't play hockey anymore, you've got an icy personality and prefer social climbing to most other activities. If you live in a small town, you're absurdly wealthy, and if you live in a big city, you're probably stuck in a dead-end factory job. For some reason, you call cities "fords". GM can't be pleased about that.

Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.


"Nah..nobody knows the trouble, I've seen..."

Today marks the end of my first week of nanotechnology research, and I have to say the experience has not been exactly what I expected. Most of my time in the program has been divided between reading articles with complicated names like "Electroosmotic Flow in Template Prepared Carbon Nanotube Membranes" and participating in labs from the university's introductory engineering curriculum. I have discovered another universal truth about introductory lab courses: it doesn't matter where you go, all the lab instructions are written very clearly...in German. And then they are translated back to English by someone who does not speak German. Otherwise, how else to explain the poorly written instructions, faulty diagrams, and otherwise convoluted conditions? Ok, in fairness, there might be some interference from science teachers...apparently we are notorious for thinking we know better about things.

Another thing I learned is that I still have (on the whole) a terrible instinct for picking lab partners. The first lady I worked with blew up at me for noting that the washer she was measuring couldn't possibly be 13 cm wide, maybe she meant millimeters? When I started looking at the washers she was done measuring and looking for a labelling scheme to keep track of which washers were which, she suddenly snaps, accuses me of being a terrible teacher, and notes that she would hate to be in my classroom because I must be overly critical of my kids, always hovering over them as they work.

First instinct: Unleash the patented Invisible Ben wit, reducing her self-confidence to a bowl of jell-o as I run mental circles around her.

Second instinct: Apologize for any possible offense, get a drink of water.

I went for the second option, avoiding a potential conflict escalation. When I got back however, my lab partner had decided that she was not going to do any more work because I was always criticizing her. I asked if she was sure (yes) and then calmly proceeded to do the lab on my own. The old saying is true..."childhood is short, immaturity is forever."

Thankfully, my actual research team seems pretty cool. My faculty advisor is a friendly Ukrainian with a voice that sounds strikingly similar to Andy Kaufman in Taxi. He also happens to be a world renowned nanotechnology expert. The team consists of him, myself, two grad students, and another local teacher, this one the science chair at Lordlad High, the best school in the city so far as testing is concerned. She offered me a job the other day, but only if I had three years of teaching experience. Sadly, no luck on that front. Perhaps in a few years. Looking forward to today when the team goes and actually synthesizes carbon nanotubes. It's a shame the electron microscope is broken though...I'd like to see our work.

Otherwise, it's been a mundane time for the Invisible Ben. I've gone out to the park to throw my boomerang (which nearly got eaten by a carnivorous oak over the weekend), played Megaman 2 on my new Gamecube (I realize now, resistance was futile.), and continue trying to get things ready for my big move a week from tomorrow.

And now some quick kudos:
Well that's it for now ladies and germs.

This is Invisible Ben, signing off.

Nano, Nano.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Rocks Do Not Evolve

A gray rainy day here in the city, a fitting end to my summer vacation. No, the school year has not begun in the middle of July...thank goodness. Tomorrow simply marks the beginning of my involvement in a new summer program. I'll be doing research in a local university's nanotechnology lab as part of an initiative to integrate cutting edge research into classroom curricula. I can't be any more specific as to the details of my research, but the advisor I am working with seems to study everything from the phase changes of ceramics to reverse alchemy (turning diamonds into graphite!). My hope is that I might be able to pick up a few new skills along the way and maybe even get something practical that I can utilize come September.

Given the nature of the program, I found it a somewhat ironic coincidence that a friend should send me this link to a website, displaying the results of a Creationist Science Fair.

Yes. You read that correctly: A Creationist Science Fair. I had no idea such an event existed, or even could exist. But apparently, the fair is not only possible, but necessary for the perpetuation of proper scientific knowledge according to founder Richard Paley. Dr. Paley holds a Theobiology teaching position at Fellowship University, or as it is known to non-believers, F.U. He explains the importance of the Creationist Science Fair to our future:

"Our children are the future face of Science and we must teach them to recognize the truth of the Word of the Lord so as to break the cycle of Evolutionism dogma that is paralyzing scientific development and making higher education a dumping ground for the excesses of materialistic philosophies."

Based on this website, the future of Science (with a capital S) seems brighter than ever. Consider these award- winning exhibits:

And my personal favorites:
Reading over these entries brought a little tear to my eye. It seems clear that the future of science is in good hands. Heck, I'm even debating becoming an anti-triclavianist myself.

Who's with me?


Wednesday, July 14, 2004

What's my age again?

Every so often, I like to spend a little time browsing the Invisible Ben e-mail address. Since I do not have a comments section on this blog (much to certain people's chagrin), this remains the most effective means of contacting me for blog related questions. Normally, I could read all the blog-related e-mails and write comprehensive and personal replies to all of them with relative ease. Unfortunately, it appears that I have such a desperate need for spyware, paid online surveys, and pornography that for every one real e-mail, there are at least 20 e-mails purveying these items.

Once I have cut through the spam however, I find that people ask all manner of questions. These range from the mundane (Q: What is your favorite pizza topping? A: Fresh garlic) to the professional (Q: What is your opinion of No Child Left Behind? A: If no child gets too far ahead, then no one is left behind!). Some people just go straight for the trivial, asking things like who would win in a fight Jules Verne or H.G. Wells.

Ok...that last one was a joke, although Verne would probably outlast the relatively pacifistic Wells in a battle of fists. I'm not sure who would win a chess game between the two, but would be willing to bet that their conversation would outline the key scientific achievements events of the next five hundred years.

One question that I have never been asked has been about my age. I suppose this is mostly because most of the people who read this have met me in person at least once and therefore have no reason to ask. My students would frequently ask me this question during the school year, claiming that I looked real young compared to their other teachers. With my freshmen perhaps I could have told the truth, but with my seniors, with whom I only share a 5 year age difference (on average), it would have proven even more difficult to maintain any semblance of authority if I let them know I had just graduated from college a few months prior to taking the position. A month or so after finishing my first year in the classroom, that distance seems much greater.

Teaching ages you a little...mentally, and perhaps physically as well. Stress can take its toll on both the mind and the body after all. So perhaps that is why this morning, July 14, 2004, feels so odd. For you see, today marks the one year anniversary of my being in a classroom. Yes, the very first time I ever stepped in front of actual students in the guise of teacher was one year ago today at a high school in Los Angeles. If I knew then what I know now, how different my time out west would have been. (I would not have spent so much time working on my lesson plans, I know that for sure!)

In addition to my induction into the teaching fraternity, today marks a more personal anniversary as well. Exactly 23 years ago, a few miles from where I am sitting right now, Invisible Ben arrived on the scene for the very first time. It was one hundred years to the day after the death of William Bonney, a.k.a. Billy the Kid. My memories of the day are rather hazy, I confess, though I am told by reliable sources that I was not a particularly gracious tenant and attempted to stay in my previous residence until after the lease had expired, and so had to be coaxed out. I suppose in a way I've been trying to make up for my lateness ever since!

This birthday is different from most of my others. When I was in college, my friends and I would celebrate together since we were mostly home on break. Having a summer birthday means occasionally having blockbuster movie hits premiere within hours of your celebratory dinner at the International House of Steak. Even when I was away over the summer, whether in D.C. or Los Angeles, there were guaranteed to be a lot of people about who were eager to at least go out and grab a drink and wish you a happy birthday from the get-go. No such luck here. I don't particularly blame anyone. It's not like I went around wearing a big sign saying "It's my birthday damnit, commemorate me!" No, I deliberately kept the day's significance quiet. After all it's a really arbitrary thing celebrating birthdays. Why should I attach any true significance to it at all? Just another sand through the bloody hourglass, right?

I suppose we commemorate birthdays because of sentimentality, a simultaneous attachment to our pasts and the recognition of our progression as individuals. Everyone wants to be a success and whether or not they know it, everyone wants to improve as a person between one birthday and the next. Despite my professional accomplishments during the past year, despite surviving grad school, new teacher training, and (oh yeah) teaching science full time, I wonder how much I have really grown this year. On some days, my job just rekindles childish notions of pettiness and revenge...being immersed in the high school climate almost induces the readoption of high school behavioral norms. How many times has a teacher been tempted to fail a student they dislike simply because they are insulting or rude in class? How many times are phone calls home motivated, not by severity of offense in the classroom, but a desire for vengeance? These are real challenges that we face in the classroom. I faced them. Not always well, but I did it. Still I made sure, that if a student did good work, I passed them. Even if I hated them. And there were a few for whom that was the case. Whether this was a reflection of preexistent maturity or strength of character I possessed going into the classroom or a growth during the course of the year, I am not certain. I'd like to think it was a little of both.

Anton Chekhov, famous playwright and author (no relation to Pavel Chekov, played by Walter K-O-E-N-I-G), died 100 years ago today. (23 years after Billy the Kid, remember?)Along with Borges, he remains one of the finest crafters of short prose in literary history. Chekhov, who died on my birthday, once wrote the following, which I feel is a very appropriate reflection for today:

"Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit. "

A birthday is a turning point. To all of those, past and present, who celebrate their births with me today (a distinguished list including Jules Mazarin, Gerald Ford, Woody Guthrie, Gustav Klimt, and the nations of France and Iraq), I wish you good health and the ability to truly reflect on who you are and what you want to be.

Happy Bastille Day to all.

And to all a good night.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

From the Dep. of Unfortunate Names

This just in via NPR's excellent news quiz, Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!:

Let's just say that this year's Democratic ticket has seriously frustrated one New Jersey politician.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

A Tale of Two Trips

Last week I went back to my hometown for a whopping five days, the longest I had returned since last August. It was a very strange experience. More and more my childhood home seems like a museum. Witness the splendor of my childhood in this completely historical recreation! I fully expected a crowd of tourists to be at my door when I woke up in the morning, held back only by a velvet rope, as a tour guide commented on how this room had been preserved since the late 1990s. The books, the posters, the CDs that remained post-college. And over on the door, there would be a sign: Please do not disturb the animals...

The town itself seemed well enough. They're finally renovating the high school, sealing off the open courtyard where we used to play frisbee in favor of more classroom space. There's a memorial there to girls who died in a drunk driving related accident. I wonder if they'll just keep it sealed inside there like an idol in some sort of ancient mausoleum. There were other little changes, minor ones really. Like adding the town coat of arms to the street signs. I did a bit of a double take the first time I actually noticed it. Dad recommended a new ice cream place which he felt offered the local farm stand a run for its money...I'm not so sure, but I'm not one to turn down ice cream when offered.

Got to spend time with some old friends. My friend at The Sleeper Cell checked out Spiderman 2, which I thought was quite good. Alfred Molina's portrayal of the good Dr. Octavius sets a new standard for supervillainy on screen. (Not to downplay the greatness of Willem Defoe in the first one...) At some point, If at some point I were going to actually try and compile a ranking of my personal favorite movies based on comic books, Spiderman 2 would be high on the list. Also spent some time with The Baron and The French Connection watching the baseball game that Bob Herbert would later call "A Game to Remember"...although unlike him we were all rather disappointed in the ending. My younger sister and I caught Fahrenheit 9/11. A well made piece of propaganda, particularly in drawing connections between the Bush oil interests and the war in Afghanistan, but it set me to thinking. Way back in college I took a course on propaganda, and a class consensus emerged that truly effective propaganda was not heavy-handed. It passed a message along without you knowing that you were being subjected to a political agenda. (This is why I actually argued that one of my favorite films of all time, The Great Dictator, was an excellent movie, but a flawed piece of propaganda...too heavy handed, especially in its ending speech.) Here, I think Michael Moore has created a masterful polemic...and a timely one...but how many people who watch it will actually be convinced. Let's see what happens in November.

Returned home on the 3rd to catch fireworks on the 4th. Some friends in the Art Museum area had a rooftop deck for ideal viewing of the display. personally, it seemed about average as these things go. Watching the D.C. fireworks from Arlington was far more exciting.

The past few days have alternated between idleness and business. I finally finished Day of the Locust and am in the midst of deciding if I want to plunge into my "serious" book for the summer: The Grapes of Wrath or something a little lighter. (The Bourne Identity anyone?) Meanwhile, I have begun packing up in anticipation to a move to a new apartment. Trying to find a good mover is not an easy task, but hopefully one that I shall complete by the end of today. I would have finished it yesterday if not for an unexpected trip to the shore. It turns out a group of my teaching friends are planning to make regular Wednesday trips to the beach for the rest of the summer...and I got invited to come along.

The recuperation period from my sunburn filled trip to Santa Monica seems to have dulled my memory of how much I like the beach. Or more specifically the ocean. The water was fine: cool and refreshing once one got over the pieces of dead jellyfish floating around on the surface. Typical beach activities including volleyball, frisbee, and my failed attempt to fly a kite ensued. To clarify though, the last of these only failed due to a lifeguard's insistence that kites could only be flown in designated areas surrounded by flags. What kind of a country is this, where kites can only be flown in designated kite flying zones? (sigh)

Ah well, this blog seems to be running long, so I figure I'll just mention that there are some new additions to the blog links. If you like the Red Sox and the sweet sounds of funk music, then be sure to check out Sideshow by the Seashore. And a long overdue addition..e.veryone's favorite Antarctic resident of our nation's capital The D.C. Penguin.

Oh, and some of you may have noticed the picture of those apple flavored candies I found earlier is no longer posted below. That's fitting, as I can no longer find them at my local PathMark. I guess the whole thing just wasn't mento be.

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