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Monday, June 28, 2004

Soda, Pop, Cola, Coke

Apparently cartographers in Oklahoma have finally compiled a map dividing up the country by which generic term is used to refer to carbonated beverages.

Behold:


A long search unexpectedly concluded

Considering the last time I saw these was five years ago in Paris, who would have thought I would find these at a local PathMark?



Yes...that's right: Green Apple Mentos.

(Now for a limited time!)

Say it with me now: DOO-WAH!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Re: Summer Vacation

Just a little FYI for you followers of the Invisible Ben out there in cyberspace:

With the conclusion of the 2003-2004 school year, postings on this website will no longer remain as fixated on the nature of the American educational system as reflected in my classroom. In point of fact, my entries on this online journal may veer towards the whimsical, humorous, or downright silly.

Why?

Because it's summer vacation. Deal with it.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

Rites of Passage

Even though Thursday was the last day of school, yesterday really marked the true start of summer vacation for me and my teacher colleagues. The feeling of waking up to actual sunlight on one's face, without the weight of the coming day's lessons dragging down the spirit, was positively exhilirating. Instead of feeling constant pressure bearing down on your neck, there is...nothing. Just freedom.

In one of life's little ironies, Friday also marked the 10th anniversary of my Bar Mitzvah, the ceremonial transition into adulthood that Jewish males undergo on their 13th birthday. I have never been a particularly religious person, which perhaps explains why the whole Bar Mitzvah experience, while a positive one, seemed forced and hollow. It's as though one day someone woke me up and said, well..that's it, you're a man now, with all the attendant rights and responsibilities therein. But I hadn't really had the life experience to back that up--the exposure to the real world that yields perspective and wisdom.

Yesterday I felt like after ten years I was finally on the way to getting there. And in large part that wisdom has stemmed from my time in the classroom. It has not been easy. It has not always been fun. But it has had its rewards, foremost among them an insight into my own character.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Graduation

The ceremony was held today in a gymnasium about a mile from my house, filled with awards and memorabilia from the local college basketball team. Although I went to Underwood this morning, in the back of my mind, I knew that there would be no actual teaching, and that on the whole, I would see none of my current students again until next year. Graduation started at noon, and I had only one period before then. They spent their time walking the halls, showing up late, and playing board games. (Though I did impress a few students by introducing them to the magic of midi files!)

At around 10:30, I drove home, ate a quick lunch (roast beef and swiss on sourdough onion bread), and proceeded to walk to the ceremony. Despite the administrators' robes not getting cleaned and a lack of diploma covers, the ceremony went fine on the whole. Two of my former students, the valedictorian and saludatorian respectively, gave speeches, and the principal went out of her way to emphasize the many positive things to come out of this year: the mock trial team's state championship, the senior gift (banners surrounding the school), etc.

The seniors were excited and proud. I watched my former physics students cheer, proudly sing the school's alma mater ("Hail to thee Underwood High..."), and wave to family members after taking their diplomas from the principal and walking off stage. I hope that they didn't mind that the lack of diploma covers meant they received orange pieces of paper rolled lengthwise and tied with a black ribbon. As one of the people who did the tying, I can assure you they were made of quality materials, but somehow if I received something similar during my graduation, I think I would be rather disappointed.

In her address, my principal quoted her hero Nelson Mandela. The quote stuck in my mind for some reason, so I include it below.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I haven't the heart to tell her that a quick Internet search suggests that the true author of the above is NOT Nelson Mandela, but author
Marainne Williamson. Perhaps she will search it out on her own.


By the way, those of you keeping track might be interested to know that today marked a graduation of sorts for me as well. In addition to being the first such ceremony I attended as an Underwood high school faculty member, this was my final day in the classroom with students during the school year! All that separates me from my summer vacation is two more days of professional development. But with no students in the building, how hard can that be?

In any case:

Congratulations to all graduates: college, high school, or otherwise on your transition to the next stage.


And congratulations fellow teachers, for your role in that process!

Congratulations everyone...we made it.

Monday, June 14, 2004

25%

That's the proportion of my students I expect to show up these last two days at school.
From what I've heard from other Underwood teachers, I may be vastly overestimating things...

We shall see.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Good Idea, Bad Idea
Special "Last Full Week of the School Year" Edition

Good idea: Scheduling field trips during the final weeks of school.
Bad idea: Scheduling field trips during finals week at school thereby undermining any possible opportunity for review or preparation.

Good idea: Scheduling educational field trips to the local museums or concert halls and mandating strict behavioral requirements for participation.
Bad idea: Scheduling field trips to all sorts of random places...like the bowling alley, and allowing everyone who wishes to attend. One wonders why the organizers were surprised kids were rolling bowling balls at the pin resetter...deliberately.

Good idea: Making alternate arrangements for students to turn in extra credit projects when teacher is off chaperoning a nice educational bowling trip.
Bad idea: Expecting students to be capable of reading a sign posted on the door of the classroom. (Needless to say, no posters were turned in following my departure...although a bunch of students brought them in the next Monday assuming they could still get credit.)

Good idea: Assigning failing students to retake courses in summer school.
Bad idea: Informing failing students a full week before the school year ends that they will have to retake courses in summer school.

Good idea: Showing students your commitment to academic excellence by continuing to expect they do work in your classroom.
Bad idea: Showing students your commitment to academic excellence by continuing to expect they do work in your classroom.

Good idea: Demonstrating the dehydrating power of acids by mixing sulfuric acid with sugar.
Bad idea: Completing said demonstration with only 3 open windows, an open door, and 2 fans running on full blast to ensure proper ventilation of the fumes. Somehow this wasn't enough for my dissatisfied students, who began immediately to complain about the smell.

Good idea: Shooting dice in the back alley with your friends a la Guys and Dolls.
Bad idea: Shooting dice in the back of my advisory with your friends and then denying that these were your dice on the floor and your money on the table.

Bad idea: Cutting class and dropping by your science teacher's room when you should be elsewhere.
Worse idea: Admitting such to said teacher...

Good idea: Allow students to make up for failed credits by attending Credit Recovery classes after school.
Bad idea: Not retroactively reflecting the change in last quarter's grades on the school system's computerized grading forms, making our lives as teachers a lot more complicated.

Good idea: Spilling hydrochloric acid on one of my student's faces, scarring him for life.
Bad idea: Bringing in hydrochloric acid to demonstrate the corrosive effect it has on zinc.

Authors note: Wait a minute...the good ideas and bad ideas there are reversed! Oh and the good idea (which should be the bad idea) is entirely fictional. Please excuse this interruption. It will not happen again.

Good idea: Keeping track of all these things that wear me down over the course of the year.
Bad idea: Letting such things drag down my mood during this last full week of school.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

"Bow your head with great respect and genuflect, genuflect, genuflect..."

Disclaimer seen on Resources for Christian Teachers:

*Many of the science links are secular links, and may contain ideas which are not Biblical. I believe we can gain many good teaching ideas and materials from these sites without using those materials which are not in line with Christian beliefs.

Ah, those friendly heathens and their primitive "science"!

And now, fully warned to the inherent godlessness of the subject I teach, I return to my search for good lesson plans for the final full week of the school year!

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

That's edu-tainment!

What better way to kick off the week of my final exam then with a field trip? Originally the idea was to go to the science museum to check out an IMAX. But the museum ran out of tickets.

Which is why this afternoon you would have found me either eating at a buffet restaurant or watching Shrek 2 with a crowd of 70 Underwood High School freshmen!

(What a country!)

Post script: Shrek 2 struck me as an amusing piece of fluff, but on the whole not nearly as innovative or humorous as the original. The most amusing new character award for the film goes to Antonio Banderas's portrayal of Puss in Boots. Sadly, they never did explain his past history as a known ogre killer...

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